The key to "naturals"

[Darth]

However, the social theory on this site, especially from Pook (I call it "Men's Studies"), about women knowing their place and men needing to step up and be men, I have taken with me because that is sorely needed in today's society and in that respect, I had been brainwashed and lacking in strong masculine role models. Those more intellectual concepts are what I am most grateful for in regards to this site.

 

[SharinganUser]

However, the social theory on this site, especially from Pook (I call it "Men's Studies"), about women knowing their place and men needing to step up and be men, I have taken with me because that is sorely needed in today's society and in that respect, I had been brainwashed and lacking in strong masculine role models. Those more intellectual concepts are what I am most grateful for in regards to this site.

Even Pook advocated being mysterious and keeping the focus on her when she asks you a question. What you've posted seems to fly in the face of that.

 

[Darth]

Maybe. I'd have to see the context.

Why wear a mysterious mask? It's not so much that you have to answer questions "mysteriously" (if you have to think about how to answer the question you're doing it wrong). It's that the girl is drawn to you so she's asking most of the questions. You answer them pretty freely (you don't want her to think you don't like her by holding back and giving short, two-word answers right?), but there is so much that she still doesn't know about you- she wants to find out more, much more, everything! (AKA, date you). So I think that while the girl might find you mysterious, that's simply because she is thinking so much about you and wanting to know more.

When we try to "be mysterious", though, that is an false ego thing. If you want to be a natural, you must first: be yourself (I don't like that expression because it's so vague, but it is very true).

 

[PlayHer Man]

I've realized how to boil it down. The natural with women has exactly the same private life as they do public life. There is nothing secret that they don't want to display in public. No public persona and hidden persona.

WRONG.

I'll admit that women LIKE transparent men because they are easier to manipulate and gain leverage over (since they have no secrets). However, this does not make them more attractive to women.

How many attractive women get cheated on left and right by "naturals"? If they had no private life or secrets cheating would not even be possible.

 

[zekko]

When a boy just happens to have a good experience with a girl, he will approach the next interaction positively, and it snowballs from there. Conversely, a boy could perceive a negative first interaction and the snowball works against him, each interaction reinforcing the previous ones.

For me, early on there were a few experiences where I liked a girl but she either outright rejected me or she preferred someone else. I had bought into the idea that you have to put yourself out there and take the chance, and I guess you do. I just wasn't expecting the possibility that it wouldn't work out the way I wanted it to.

Those experiences put me in a negative place when it came to women, my confidence was messed up for a long while, even after I started having some successes. If those experiences had been positive ones, I have no doubt it could have made a big difference on the way I looked at things. The problem was that as a teenager, I hadn't built up proper value - I had to work years to attain that.

A key element that is missing with many of us is the lack of a role model growing up. My dad taught me nothing about women, unfortunately, and I grew up in a household of females (I was the only boy). I desperately needed instruction on being a man and I had very little, since my dad rarely had time for me. I think this is a critical factor in a boy's ability to relate to women in a healthy way.

I was in a similar situation. My dad was old and wearing down when I was growing up, and he died at right about the time I would have really needed him, as I was coming of age. But my parents had a good marriage, so I think that helps me avoid some of the bitter misogynistic feelings some guys have here - "all girls are fvcking someone else" and that sort of thing. Although I don't believe real marriage exists anymore, as we once knew it.

But what if you dumped the girl?

Not sure I understand the question. We were talking about being honest about our problems with women, so I suppose you would explain why you dumped her. If it was her fault, you might gain some sympathy. If it was just you being selfish, maybe not.

When we try to "be mysterious", though, that is an false ego thing. If you want to be a natural, you must first: be yourself (I don't like that expression because it's so vague, but it is very true).

I'm a big proponent of being yourself. You have to be, that's what's going to attract her. I don't believe in the "be mysterious" stuff for the most part. Because it's not been enough for me generally just to get the lay. I want to her to be so into me that I have the option of keeping her around, IF I want.

You can't maintain a LTR being "mysterious", because she's going to find out who you are and what you're about sooner or later. You have to be attractive and have value as a core person if you're going to maintain the relationship, not rely on smoke and mirrors.

 

[Darth]

WRONG.

I'll admit that women LIKE transparent men because they are easier to manipulate and gain leverage over (since they have no secrets). However, this does not make them more attractive to women.

How many attractive women get cheated on left and right by "naturals"? If they had no private life or secrets cheating would not even be possible.

Okay, have fun.

 

[Darth]

Bump. I had an experience a couple days ago which reminded me of another point:

If your private life matches your public life and you have no secrets, kino becomes remarkably easy, like second nature. Can you see why? The girl is talking, and you think "I want to touch her," and then that becomes your public action.

Everybody who is afraid to touch women should bear this in mind.