Meanwhile...
(Update 7)
Hola, sosuave.
Promising news to report.
Desperate to escape the troubles with my ex (which I'll talk about later), I went with one of my friends to another friend's football game. I noticed this attractive (but not too insanely good looking) light skinned girl (my fav
). I didn't say anything to her, since I wasn't focused on her at the time. I was waiting for my friend, who was catching the bus down to where I was at so we could go to the game.
After about 20 mins of waiting, he finally gets down there.
"
Hold on, I'm waiting for some friends." he tells me. "
Oh, there they are."
Can you believe my luck? One of his friends is the lightskinned girl! We head off to the game. It was my friend, his other male friend, the lightskinned girl, her friend (of no importance) and myself.
Basically, on our ride down to the game, they're enamored with me lol. They made it a priority to get to know me. I wasn't really talkative at first. I was sensing this girl out, and had a whole afternoon to do so.
Throughout the whole trip, I'm being bombarded with compliments:
"
Hey (my friend), you haven't introduced us to your friend yet", and "
*laugh*, he's walking so cool, I wanna walk like him."
I played it cool, and brushed them off with a half smile.
At last, we get to the game, where I planned to make my move. However, on the way in, I find out she has a boyfriend. It's honestly no problem for me, since I would've tried regardless, but my friend tells me "
It's my mans", so I back off of her. It was fun chatting, but I wasn't really interested enough to make her pursue me.
Meanwhile, in the ex saga, I texted her on my way to meet my friend. It went like this:
Me: U still mad?
Her: Naw... it's w/e.
Me: U sure?
Her: Yea
I didn't text her back after that.
Immediately after I sent my second text, I realized I was going against everything I've been learning, and what I feel to be right.
Here I am, totally accepting of the fact that I won't have a relationship with this girl anymore, and moving on, and I'm texting her, and giving her that attention that she doesn't deserve. Why am I consoling her? To reward her for being a conceited *****?
I think it's best to end contact with her permanently.
Today, I learned the true value of the nice guy. Today was the day my heart turned cold to these women, SoSuave. I realized that this committed relationship **** doesn't work. It's biologically impossible, and subjecting to it leaves you psychotically and emotionally crippled.
At this point, I've truly lost the idea of love, and happiness in a committed relationship altogether.
It's simply not worth it.
However, it should be noticed that after I made this revelation, my viewpoint toward women
DRASTICALLY changed. They seemed to lose their luster. In every woman, I see the same type of person and emotional irrationality that I saw in my ex. No matter what her conscious personality is, I've begun to see them as irrational, and honestly, quick to cheat on you at any point of weakness.
I don't see this as a flaw though; I see it as a great strength. If I can truly pick up on the psychology of women, then I can use it to my advantage, or be unphased by their tendencies. It forces me to be on game at all times.
The new girl, the one that saw me smoking, I texted her. Honestly, I hate texting her, because she is the MOST god awful texter in the world. Her texts reciprocate no emotion whatever.
Me: Hey
Her: Hey
Me: Wyd?
Her: Nothin. U?
Me: Writing. What did you do today?
Her: Chilled. Writing what?
Me: Some verses for a song I'm writing.**
And that was it. She didn't text back.
**Note: This text was completely intended to close the convo like this. I left it at what I choose to call an "open ended statement", the opposite of the "open ended question". In my opinion, it's good, because it forces her to contribute (it's not even remotely hard to make a follow up statement to writing a song), and if she doesn't, then oh well. I think I have to call her from now on. I can't deal with texting her.
The odd thing is, I don't think that it's because she's not interested, because in person, it's not like she wants to avoid talking to me in the slightest. She's not embarrassed or trying to hide it, because she's initiating contact in high traffic areas. I think that It's just naturally that she's an awful texter lol.
Any questions or comments would be greatly appreciated.
Sincerely yours,
Manny