Gentlmen aaaaaand Gentleman! Men of all ages!! Gather around the table now, as I reveal to you my latest discovery!!
For years, so-called "nice guys" have complained that girls seem to have a thing for the elusive "manus treat-em-badus," most commonly known as "The JERK." This species of male is believed to hurt a woman's feelings by not listening to her needs, acting on her desired tasks for him, and treating her like crap. Amazingly, this particular specimen of male continues to lure girls into his trap, sexing and having his way with them every night, while the "nice guys" are left to pick up the pieces in the aftermath of his destruction.
But Gentleman! I have discovered something that is revolutionary! I have found something to be so true, yet so unbelievable, that you yourself may have a hard time accepting its truth!!
Are you ready for it? Here it comes....
Gentleman... THE JERK DOES NOT EXISTS!!
*GASP!* *SHOCK!* *AWE!* *BURP!* (Ooh, excuse me - too much tuna for breakfast )
I can see your face right now, the look of shock across it does not lie. But it's true: the elusive "JERK" is just a myth; it does not exist.
"But Don 'Ron! That can't be true! I just KNOW the "JERK" exists! How can you say such a creature does not exists when I have seen him with my own eyes!"
Really? Have you actually SEEN the "JERK" before?
In order for this to make sense to you, you have to understand something: the definition of what makes up a "JERK" varies from person to person. This is because "being" a "JERK" is impossible. "JERK," as it is commonly used, is an adjetive action word that gives an opinion about a particular behavior.
For example: Let's say I have one piece of chocolate left in my pocket. I am walking down the street, and I see two girls. I pull out my piece of chocolate and ask them if either one of them want it. They both say yes. I then proceed to eat the piece of chocolate in front of them, say "too bad, ha ha!" then walk off.
In their opinion, I am being a "JERK" because I offered them something I had no intention of giving them.
"Okay... so what does this have to do with women falling for jerks?" Again, you're not getting it! Women do not fall for jerks because they do not exists.
This is something most nice guys don't get a chance to observe. He has a friend who is a hot chick that he wants to get with, but she is always hanging out with her boyfriend. Everytime the nice guy and the hot chick get together, she is always complaining about how much of a "JERK" her boyfriend is, and the nice guy sits there and ponders why she would want to be with a "JERK."
What the nice guy doesn't realize, however, is that just because the woman sees her boyfriends actions as being "JERK" behavior, does not mean he is actually a "JERK!"
Let's use the previous example: I am walking down the street and I have 2 pieces of chocolate in my pocket. 2 girls walk up to me and both of them asks if they can have a piece of chocolate. I pull out 1 piece of chocolate and give it to one of the girls; I tell the other girl, "sorry, you can't have this other piece" and I walk off. The girl that didn't get the chocolate gets mad at me and yells back "YOU ARE SUCH A 'JERK!'"
Now, here's the question: was I being a "JERK" to the other girl in this scenario? It depends on who you ask...
*If you ask the girl who didn't get any chocolate, she will say "yes, he was being a "JERK"!"
*If you ask the girl who got the chocolate, she would say, "no, he wasn't being a "JERK" because I had asked him to bring me a piece of chocolate earlier in the day."
*And if you were to ask ME, I might say, "well, I'm sorry she thought I was being a "JERK," but my cousin had asked me for a piece of chocolate as well, and I didn't have a third piece to give out, otherwise I WOULD have."
You see, just because a girl does not like her boyfriend/crush's actions, that does not mean he is a "JERK." She may tell a nice guy, "my boyfriend is such a JERK! He's always getting into fights at bars with other guys just for talking to me!" She may NOT be telling you that she's going to these bars and flirting with the guys he eventually ends up having to fight. She may tell a nice guy, "my boyfriend doesn't spend enough time with me - he's always hanging out with the fellas!" She may NOT be telling you that she's a clingy woman who feels that if her man is not spending every waking minute of the day with her, she feels he's not "spending enough time with her." She may even tell you, "my man is such a "JERK!" - he never lets me have any fun at all!!" She may NOT be telling you that her definition of "fun" is getting drunk and high every night, and that her boyfriend is not allowing her to do those types of things, which in turn makes her call him a "JERK!"
You see, a lot of times a woman will call a man a "JERK" if he is not letting her get her way. For example, he could plan out a nice evening with dinner at a Mexian restaurant, and she could call him a "JERK" because he didn't discuss plans with her ahead of time. He could buy her a dozen roses, and she could call him a "JERK" because he should have known that daffodills were her favorite flower. She doesn't want to sound off these ridiculous wants of hers to her man because she knows subconsiously that (A) they are stupid things to argue about, and that (B) her man won't tolerate hearing it because they both know it's stupid stuff. So instead, she uses a "nice guy" as a sounding bored to talk about her "JERK" boyfriend and get these lil' annoyances off her chest, when in reality the guy isn't really being a "JERK" at all!
So there you have it, Gentleman! I hope now your eyes are opened to the truth that exists before you. The "JERK" does not exist - it is simply a mirage thrown out by women who are mad at their boyfriend/crush for not letting them get there way. Use this newfound knowledge to your advantage, men, and don't fall for the words chirped out by your best-looking female friend! She may SAY he's a "JERK," but TRUST me: he's not, she still loves him, and you still have no chance (right now) of getting with her
I'm OUT!
For years, so-called "nice guys" have complained that girls seem to have a thing for the elusive "manus treat-em-badus," most commonly known as "The JERK." This species of male is believed to hurt a woman's feelings by not listening to her needs, acting on her desired tasks for him, and treating her like crap. Amazingly, this particular specimen of male continues to lure girls into his trap, sexing and having his way with them every night, while the "nice guys" are left to pick up the pieces in the aftermath of his destruction.
But Gentleman! I have discovered something that is revolutionary! I have found something to be so true, yet so unbelievable, that you yourself may have a hard time accepting its truth!!
Are you ready for it? Here it comes....
Gentleman... THE JERK DOES NOT EXISTS!!
*GASP!* *SHOCK!* *AWE!* *BURP!* (Ooh, excuse me - too much tuna for breakfast )
I can see your face right now, the look of shock across it does not lie. But it's true: the elusive "JERK" is just a myth; it does not exist.
"But Don 'Ron! That can't be true! I just KNOW the "JERK" exists! How can you say such a creature does not exists when I have seen him with my own eyes!"
Really? Have you actually SEEN the "JERK" before?
In order for this to make sense to you, you have to understand something: the definition of what makes up a "JERK" varies from person to person. This is because "being" a "JERK" is impossible. "JERK," as it is commonly used, is an adjetive action word that gives an opinion about a particular behavior.
For example: Let's say I have one piece of chocolate left in my pocket. I am walking down the street, and I see two girls. I pull out my piece of chocolate and ask them if either one of them want it. They both say yes. I then proceed to eat the piece of chocolate in front of them, say "too bad, ha ha!" then walk off.
In their opinion, I am being a "JERK" because I offered them something I had no intention of giving them.
"Okay... so what does this have to do with women falling for jerks?" Again, you're not getting it! Women do not fall for jerks because they do not exists.
This is something most nice guys don't get a chance to observe. He has a friend who is a hot chick that he wants to get with, but she is always hanging out with her boyfriend. Everytime the nice guy and the hot chick get together, she is always complaining about how much of a "JERK" her boyfriend is, and the nice guy sits there and ponders why she would want to be with a "JERK."
What the nice guy doesn't realize, however, is that just because the woman sees her boyfriends actions as being "JERK" behavior, does not mean he is actually a "JERK!"
Let's use the previous example: I am walking down the street and I have 2 pieces of chocolate in my pocket. 2 girls walk up to me and both of them asks if they can have a piece of chocolate. I pull out 1 piece of chocolate and give it to one of the girls; I tell the other girl, "sorry, you can't have this other piece" and I walk off. The girl that didn't get the chocolate gets mad at me and yells back "YOU ARE SUCH A 'JERK!'"
Now, here's the question: was I being a "JERK" to the other girl in this scenario? It depends on who you ask...
*If you ask the girl who didn't get any chocolate, she will say "yes, he was being a "JERK"!"
*If you ask the girl who got the chocolate, she would say, "no, he wasn't being a "JERK" because I had asked him to bring me a piece of chocolate earlier in the day."
*And if you were to ask ME, I might say, "well, I'm sorry she thought I was being a "JERK," but my cousin had asked me for a piece of chocolate as well, and I didn't have a third piece to give out, otherwise I WOULD have."
You see, just because a girl does not like her boyfriend/crush's actions, that does not mean he is a "JERK." She may tell a nice guy, "my boyfriend is such a JERK! He's always getting into fights at bars with other guys just for talking to me!" She may NOT be telling you that she's going to these bars and flirting with the guys he eventually ends up having to fight. She may tell a nice guy, "my boyfriend doesn't spend enough time with me - he's always hanging out with the fellas!" She may NOT be telling you that she's a clingy woman who feels that if her man is not spending every waking minute of the day with her, she feels he's not "spending enough time with her." She may even tell you, "my man is such a "JERK!" - he never lets me have any fun at all!!" She may NOT be telling you that her definition of "fun" is getting drunk and high every night, and that her boyfriend is not allowing her to do those types of things, which in turn makes her call him a "JERK!"
You see, a lot of times a woman will call a man a "JERK" if he is not letting her get her way. For example, he could plan out a nice evening with dinner at a Mexian restaurant, and she could call him a "JERK" because he didn't discuss plans with her ahead of time. He could buy her a dozen roses, and she could call him a "JERK" because he should have known that daffodills were her favorite flower. She doesn't want to sound off these ridiculous wants of hers to her man because she knows subconsiously that (A) they are stupid things to argue about, and that (B) her man won't tolerate hearing it because they both know it's stupid stuff. So instead, she uses a "nice guy" as a sounding bored to talk about her "JERK" boyfriend and get these lil' annoyances off her chest, when in reality the guy isn't really being a "JERK" at all!
So there you have it, Gentleman! I hope now your eyes are opened to the truth that exists before you. The "JERK" does not exist - it is simply a mirage thrown out by women who are mad at their boyfriend/crush for not letting them get there way. Use this newfound knowledge to your advantage, men, and don't fall for the words chirped out by your best-looking female friend! She may SAY he's a "JERK," but TRUST me: he's not, she still loves him, and you still have no chance (right now) of getting with her
I'm OUT!