The Introvert vs The Extrovert: Who has it better?

[Eph]

There you go... getting all deep and meaningful
No, that wasn't what I was saying. I probably should have said "women are mostly attracted to strong personalities who seem convinced of their own self worth,"

The point I was making was that when you first meet a girl, it's all about the image you project.
They might say they want equal rights and all that, but I think that the majority of women still expect a guy to do the initial approach and this is where the extrovert has the advantage.

Whether you have real value is another matter.

You extroverts have such a tough time when you actually need to think about what you say. Anyway, I can agree with most of your revision, but again, it seems as though the extrovert comes off a little too try-hard at times. A lot of them come off as approval-seeking because, on the surface, it looks like they just want everyone to like them.

I won't deny that they have the advantage when it comes to starting conversations and just going with the flow. Introverts often stumble over their words, and need time to think. Always analyzing everything.

 

[yyc12]

I think the one being himself and the most natural in his own skin has the edge. Too many times, I see introverts feeling like they need to be extroverts, by either their own pressure or outside influences, but being something you're not never works. Being the best version of your natural self does.

True..but the introvert is often just off by himself so no one ever really gets to know the "best version of his natural self".

 

[RagingBalls]

I'm somewhat constrained introvert by choice because most of the time, people around me are fvcktards and dvmbshlts and full of drama.

Most of the time, at first i was just an introvert looking dude in the zone, just observing them. Then later on to their surprise, especially women, it turns out i am the shlt that made their panties wet.

My dlck is used to attracting pvssies that there are times i don't consider it pvssies but just a flesh holster to my c0ck.

 

[dutchmaster]

I can understand this. Introverts like depth and "one on one" conversations. I would rather talk to one person for an hour than "work the room" and have 20 brief, shallow conversations. Having said that, I think introverts are capable of deep friendships. Even as an extrovert, when business is slow at the bar, you might find much enjoyment having an in-depth conversation with a more quiet, brainy, introvert type.

I love the wisdom and self-assurance lots of introverts have. I'm friends with a lot of introverted people and it really intrigues me how someone can be so self-assured. My dad for example is very introverted. He literally could care less what anyone else thinks about him. Seems like a great way to live lol.

That depends.

The data is flawed straight from the start when we give our own opinions on this matter.

Introverts, by definition, do not broadcast their things to other people.

So how in the world would you know how much poon, how many relationships, how many one night stands or LTRs an introvert would have?

Extroverts are more likely to make it obvious by definition as well.

So there is already a bias set in this thought experiment of "who has it better?"

That's not true. Introverts can broadcasts their thoughts and feelings. The main differences are Introverts think about what they say before they say it, while extraverts just talk. Also introverts gain energy from alone time and lose energy socializing. While extraverts gain energy from socializing with other people and lose energy sitting around doing nothing.

 

[VikingKing]

I think both have their advantages and disadvantages. Some women like extroverts more, some like introverts more. Either way you can get women.

I have to force myself to at least act friendly and social. Truth is I don't trust anybody. My father and my brother are the only ones I can truly trust 100%. I don't like to get close to people.

 

[TheCleanPleb]

I'm a huge extrovert and it just so happens, my closest friend is a very good looking introvert. I noticed that he texts A LOT of girls, being an extrovert I hate texting and I love physical interaction so i always cold/hot approach. We talk to the same amount of girls and get laid about the same amount. In my observation, it seems like introverts miss a lot of opportunities to meet some great girls out in public but I think they make up for it by having a more attractive personality once you get to know them(not sure if this applies to everyone).

I love talking but I hate not getting attention.
My bro waits for stuff to fall in place

The best way to go is probably a hybrid between the two.

 

[JoeMarron]

First of all, its possible to be a shy extrovert. It's easy for someone to fall into the trap of using introversion as an excuse for not talking to people when in reality they're afraid of stepping out of their comfort zone. That being said, I'm pretty sure I'm an introvert and yes this makes it difficult for me to spin plates, be the life of the party, building a decent social circle, or other things that helps being successful with women. The extrovert definitely has an advantage when it comes to meeting a large amount of women thus increasing his chances of success. On the other hand, when the introvert finally does find a woman he'll be able to connect with her more. I imagine introverts would be more likely to dig deep into a woman's personality and let her do most of the talking. Basically its a matter of quanity vs quality, slaying pvssy left and right vs ltrs and close fvck buddies.

 

[zekko]

First of all, its possible to be a shy extrovert.

Yep, just as it's possible to be a very social introvert. One of the most outgoing people I know is an introvert. He told me that he is uncomfortable being around people, so that to cope with it he has to take control of the interactions. He leads, directs, and monopolizes the conversations, very much a center of attention dominant type of fellow.

Being an introvert or an extrovert is mainly about where you draw or expend your energy. Introverts expend energy socializing and recharge their batteries with solitude. Extroverts draw their energy from other people, and are stressed by being alone. I think more people are introverts than is generally believed. I prefer being an introvert simply because I don't want to be dependent on other people for my energy.

 

[Huffman]

Well, I'm an introvert, confident, good enough looking and don't give a sh*t on most people's opinion.

Still I'm sitting at home alone, wishing I could actually... care about people. You know. Call up a girl, arrange a date. But I just don't care. Can't even think about anything that would be fun "together". Don't even feel lonely anymore. Life's just empty.

 

[jglide123]

Yeah, I know a lot of extroverts who seem like they come across as try hard. It's a weakness for them, they need the attention. Introverts are more independent, they can play the strong, silent type.

I am an extrovert and I have been told that I come across as trying too hard on more than one occasion. It is something that I am aware of now and I make an attempt to tone my energy level down and vibe more with people. I don't know if I "need the attention" as much as I am just a social guy who enjoys the company of others. But again, I can see how it can come across as needy to other people.

To say that an introvert is more independent and suggest that an extrovert is more socially needy and attention-seeking is flawed in my opinion. There is no science that supports such a statement, and introversion/extroversion are only labels people give other people, as well as themselves. It's not like you can read introversion or extroversion in someone's DNA (although genetics does play a role). They are more like social tendencies than anything else. Independence and self-confidence have nothing to do with one's social inclinations. One can be a highly confident and charming extrovert (like Bill Clinton) just like one can be a calm and confident introvert (such as Clint Eastwood).

 

[zekko]

To say that an introvert is more independent and suggest that an extrovert is more socially needy and attention-seeking is flawed in my opinion. There is no science that supports such a statement, and introversion/extroversion are only labels people give other people, as well as themselves.

I would not suggest that extroverts are socially needy. I think extroverts have the advantage in most social situations. But I think a potential weakness that they have is that they may come across as needy and try hard. That's just some extroverts that come across like that, not all of them.

I like your examples of confident extroverts (Clinton) and introverts (Eastwood).

 

[Dhoulmagus]

After reading this topic, I think im a shy extrovert

 

[Sofomore]

I believe there is a gradient scale for introverts/extroverts. It's not black and white. I find myself in the middle, leaning towards introversion. I value my alone time but I also love getting to know new people. It's hard for me to become instantly friends with someone, but once we get to know each other the friendship bond is much stronger.

In terms of getting laid, extroverts have it better. They simply make more opportunities to meet women.

It all comes down to how the person acts once they have the introduction. Lots of extroverts have no game at all. Just loud entertaining ramblings but no seduction.

Once I get a girl into conversation it's game over. Because I don't care to talk much I get her talking about herself, leading to her thinking she's comfortable with me but I'm still mysterious (because she barely knows anything about me).

I like my introverted tendencies. All I have to do is put in the effort to approach and the rest comes naturally.

I think for extroverts the approach comes naturally but learning to close is a challenge because the entire conversation is fluff.

Both need to learn what is holding them back and work on developing that skill.

 

[zekko]

Extrovert's have a *massive* advantage unless you are playing "beta provider" game, in which an introvert probably provides more financial and domestic stability.

I agree extroverts have an advantage, but you're painting introverts as pvssies, which I completely disagree with. There's no reason why introverts can't be strong, masculine men with strong frames, just like jglide's Clint Eastwood example.

There's no reason at all why an introvert should be a pvssy, anymore than any extrovert would be. Introverts simply don't like being around as many people as often. All the more time to spend in the gym. This idea that introverts cannot be attractive to women is garbage.

 

[Mike32ct]

I agree extroverts have an advantage, but you're painting introverts as pvssies, which I completely disagree with. There's no reason why introverts can't be strong, masculine men with strong frames, just like jglide's Clint Eastwood example.

There's no reason at all why an introvert should be a pvssy, anymore than any extrovert would be. Introverts simply don't like being around as many people as often. All the more time to spend in the gym. This idea that introverts cannot be attractive to women is garbage.

I agree completely. But to the extent that extroverts have an edge, I would assume it's due to two things:

1. The extrovert probably meets more women on average than the introvert does.

2. Some women PERCEIVE the extrovert as more confident, masculine, etc*.

*I'm with you Zekko. I think introverts have the potential to be extremely alpha. But some women are conditioned to believe that louder is better. Fortunately, they aren't all that way.

One of my favorite FR stories was when I was out with two other guys at this bar about 8 years ago. Both of my buddies were 6'1" and 6'5" (respectively) extroverts that could talk non-stop. I was a very quiet 5'11" guy who just listened. These guys were flirting with the bartender girl HARDCORE, especially the taller one. Finally, he asked her, "IF you were to hook up with one of us, which one would it be?" She pointed to me. My jaw just dropped. It was either my strong silent IDGAF attitude and/or my thick spiky hair at the time lol. Probably both.

But anyway, I will just continue to OWN my introversion and work with that.

 

[zekko]

But anyway, I will just continue to OWN my introversion and work with that.

People confuse being an introvert with being shy and withdrawn. Being an introvert simply means that you expend energy when you socialize, whereas extroverts draw energy from socializing. While I used to be shy, I got over that long ago. I even regularly do public speaking for my job and do not get nervous at all, in fact I enjoy it.

I've also always been one to stand up for myself, even in situations where it was perhaps ill advised. I bet I've been in more than my share of scraps.

 

[yyc12]

I'm not painting introverts as pussies, women are.

They only do it to the not so good looking guys, lol. If they think the guy's good looking then he's the strong mysterious silent confident type. Otherwise he's just insecure, lol. People make up all kinds of things about introverts, 99% of it wouldn't even be based on any evidence at all. The introvert is usually keeping to themselves, not revealing much so people tend to fill the gap with whatever they want to believe and this will become their truth about you; unfortunately, a lot of the time, it is never positive.

 

[Eph]

They only do it to the not so good looking guys, lol. If they think the guy's good looking then he's the strong mysterious silent confident type. Otherwise he's just insecure, lol. People make up all kinds of things about introverts, 99% of it wouldn't even be based on any evidence at all. The introvert is usually keeping to themselves, not revealing much so people tend to fill the gap with whatever they want to believe and this will become their truth about you; unfortunately, a lot of the time, it is never positive.

I guess that would be me lol. I've always had a few girls open me, just because I'm usually the guy sitting around, doing my own thing, while everyone else is yapping away. Truth is, although a year or two ago I was the stereotypical shy introvert, I think I've become more of an ambivert (in-between extrovert and introvert).

I realized I enjoy being around people, but don't feel a need for it. Being alone bores me, but I'm fine with being on my own. I'm almost never the loud, outspoken guy.