Thought I'd post this in the tips forum for more people to see...
___________________________________________
What do I say?
What should I have said?
Why didn't I say that?
It took me such a long time to realize that what we say in conversation is not nearly as important as to how we say it (our tone, attitude, facial expression, etc). Of course there are things that we know not to say around women, but often times we are so concerned about saying the right thing that we forget our initial objective:
TO BE INTERESTING
Being witty and suave and emotional and mysterious and younameit are all apart of our intention to come off as interesting. How could a girl possibly be interested in you if you aren't interesting?
But never fear, you can make anything interesting! I remember my friend telling me that whenever he talked to girls, he always found himself talking about boring stuff like computer programming, and they would get bored and ditch him. I told him that it wasn't what he said that was so boring, it was how he said it. He didn't believe me, so I told him to watch me as I smooth-talked this hottie at the mall. Throughout our short conversation, I went off about packet loss and compiler errors, comparing things to ones and zeros and such. I don't think she had the slightest clue as to what I was talking about, but that didn't matter cuz she was so into me, I could probably have talked for hours and still gotten her number.
What does this mean? Am I telling you to go out and discuss the most uninteresting topic in an effort to create interest when picking up the ladies? Of course not. That is generally a bad idea and you will create much more work for yourself than necessary. You should always try to avoid talking about crap that nobody cares about. What I am saying is that your words don't matter nearly as much as how you express them. There are several things that make an interesting speaker.
Tone
When you speak, do you talk at the same pitch all the time? If you do, then you are monotone, and nobody wants to listen to you because you sound so boring and monotonous that you could be complimenting us and you will still piss us off. Your pitch needs to vary with the mood of the conversation.
Is your voice generally high pitched with an extreme nasal ring to it? If so, then you're a nerd. I don't care how big and sexy you think you look. If you sound like that, then you're a nerd. The first thing you need to do is reduce the amount of nasal projection in your voice JUST A LITTLE. Everyone needs a nasal ring in their voice; you just want to reduce it to the point where you don't sound like a complete fuktard. It helps to try and open your mouth more when you talk.
Once you have accomplished this, you can concentrate on slightly lowering the average pitch of your voice. Almost every person is born with a vocal range of at least two octaves (which can increase with vocal training), and most people speak in the center of their range. This means that everyone has the ability to lower the pitch at which they normally talk. Lower your voice just a little and only if it's comfortable. Remember, you can talk in a relatively high voice and still sound incredibly sexy.
There are some people who have a much deeper voice, but it seems as if they swallow their words when they speak. This is because they lack a nasal tone altogether. If you are one of these people, fear not. Learning to speak through your nose is simple. Try saying "nya nya nya nya" and using the "n" sound to hum really loudly.
A low pitch with the perfect blend of nasal ring will create a deep, sexy resonance in your voice.
Diction
How audible are you? Do you tend to implode consonants at the end of a word (i.e. no emphasis on the "t" in "beat")? Do you sometimes stumble or slur two or more words together in a sentence? Do other people have trouble hearing your soft voice?
Diction is so very important when it comes to communication. When you talk you have to train yourself to emphasize every consonant. Many people have trouble with diction but it is so easy to develop. The first thing you need to do is slow the fuk down. It's no wonder some people are sloppy with words when they talk as fast as they do. Just chill out a little. Next, try these tongue twisters. Start off saying them slowly, and gradually speed up to the point where you are saying them so fast you practically drop out all the vowels. Once you say them as fast as you can a few times without messing up, go back to speaking them at your normal pace. Practice these for a few minutes each day and you'll be pro in no time
Many mumbling mice are making midnight music in the moonlight.
Aluminum linoleum aluminum linoleum aluminum linoleum aluminum...
Hagrid, Hedwig, Hagrid, Hedwig, Hagrid, Hedwig, Hagrid, Hedwig...
Don't pamper damp scamp tramps that camp under ramp lamps.
She sells sea shells by the sea shore.
The shells she sells are surely seashells.
So if she sells shells on the seashore,
I'm sure she sells seashore shells.
Betty Botter had some butter,
"But," she said, "this butter's bitter.
If I bake this bitter butter,
it would make my batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter--
that would make my batter better."
So she bought a bit of butter,
better than her bitter butter,
and she baked it in her batter,
and the batter was not bitter.
So 'twas better Betty Botter
bought a bit of better butter.
One smart fellow, he felt smart.
Two smart fellows, they felt smart.
Three smart fellows, they all felt smart.
I am not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's mate.
I am only plucking pheasants
'cause the pheasant plucker's running late.
Pace
Nothing bothers me more than those people who get exited and talk so fast that you can't tell when onewordendsandanotherbegins. People also do this when they know the other person is getting bored with them, so they wrap up their entire life's story in a couple of seconds.
Then there are those people that have absolutely no regard for punctuation of any sort and they talk in one never-ending sentence but you don't want to be mean and slap them because they are always the nicest people etc.
And then, there are the opposites, who, lets just say, like to pause for at least, umm, 5 seconds, maybe 10, every chance they, well, get. You've never seen their writing before but you're just positive that they're one of those comma abusers.
Finally, there is the. Guy who ends all of. His sentences in the stupidest. Places. These people tend to have no self esteem, they walk around looking at the ground, never look you in the eyes when they talk to you, that sort of thing.
This is a real obvious one. Just talk like a normal person. Vary your speed depending on excitement of the conversation, but remember to take breaths. Know when to pause or break, but don't overdo it.
Energy
This is difficult to explain, but every word you say has to be backed with a certain level of energy. Remember, energy = good. Chicks dig energetic men.
Whatever you do though, don't confuse energy with excitement. You can be very relaxed but still be energetic. Think of it as your sexual drive. You need to carry that energy across in your voice.
Enthusiasm
This is what will make or break your conversation. Remember when I said that you can make anything interesting? Well this is how it's done, right here. It is your attitude that dictates to her that what you are talking about is exciting, interesting, fun, etc. For example, if you say in a plain, bored voice "Star Wars was the best movie I've ever seen. wow" then people will have reason to doubt you. But if you say it in an upbeat, enthusiastic tone "STAR WARS WAS THE BEST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN!!! WOW!!!" then people will get the idea that there must be something special about this movie. Your enthusiasm WILL raise her interest level in whatever it is that you're talking about, and if it applies to you, her interest in you will go up as well. Always be enthusiastic when discussing yourself. If you hate your job and you let it show, then she will think of you as unsuccessful. But if you work at Wal-Mart and you're proud of it, then you're just living your life
Remember, expression beats dialogue. Have fun!
___________________________________________
What do I say?
What should I have said?
Why didn't I say that?
It took me such a long time to realize that what we say in conversation is not nearly as important as to how we say it (our tone, attitude, facial expression, etc). Of course there are things that we know not to say around women, but often times we are so concerned about saying the right thing that we forget our initial objective:
TO BE INTERESTING
Being witty and suave and emotional and mysterious and younameit are all apart of our intention to come off as interesting. How could a girl possibly be interested in you if you aren't interesting?
But never fear, you can make anything interesting! I remember my friend telling me that whenever he talked to girls, he always found himself talking about boring stuff like computer programming, and they would get bored and ditch him. I told him that it wasn't what he said that was so boring, it was how he said it. He didn't believe me, so I told him to watch me as I smooth-talked this hottie at the mall. Throughout our short conversation, I went off about packet loss and compiler errors, comparing things to ones and zeros and such. I don't think she had the slightest clue as to what I was talking about, but that didn't matter cuz she was so into me, I could probably have talked for hours and still gotten her number.
What does this mean? Am I telling you to go out and discuss the most uninteresting topic in an effort to create interest when picking up the ladies? Of course not. That is generally a bad idea and you will create much more work for yourself than necessary. You should always try to avoid talking about crap that nobody cares about. What I am saying is that your words don't matter nearly as much as how you express them. There are several things that make an interesting speaker.
Tone
When you speak, do you talk at the same pitch all the time? If you do, then you are monotone, and nobody wants to listen to you because you sound so boring and monotonous that you could be complimenting us and you will still piss us off. Your pitch needs to vary with the mood of the conversation.
Is your voice generally high pitched with an extreme nasal ring to it? If so, then you're a nerd. I don't care how big and sexy you think you look. If you sound like that, then you're a nerd. The first thing you need to do is reduce the amount of nasal projection in your voice JUST A LITTLE. Everyone needs a nasal ring in their voice; you just want to reduce it to the point where you don't sound like a complete fuktard. It helps to try and open your mouth more when you talk.
Once you have accomplished this, you can concentrate on slightly lowering the average pitch of your voice. Almost every person is born with a vocal range of at least two octaves (which can increase with vocal training), and most people speak in the center of their range. This means that everyone has the ability to lower the pitch at which they normally talk. Lower your voice just a little and only if it's comfortable. Remember, you can talk in a relatively high voice and still sound incredibly sexy.
There are some people who have a much deeper voice, but it seems as if they swallow their words when they speak. This is because they lack a nasal tone altogether. If you are one of these people, fear not. Learning to speak through your nose is simple. Try saying "nya nya nya nya" and using the "n" sound to hum really loudly.
A low pitch with the perfect blend of nasal ring will create a deep, sexy resonance in your voice.
Diction
How audible are you? Do you tend to implode consonants at the end of a word (i.e. no emphasis on the "t" in "beat")? Do you sometimes stumble or slur two or more words together in a sentence? Do other people have trouble hearing your soft voice?
Diction is so very important when it comes to communication. When you talk you have to train yourself to emphasize every consonant. Many people have trouble with diction but it is so easy to develop. The first thing you need to do is slow the fuk down. It's no wonder some people are sloppy with words when they talk as fast as they do. Just chill out a little. Next, try these tongue twisters. Start off saying them slowly, and gradually speed up to the point where you are saying them so fast you practically drop out all the vowels. Once you say them as fast as you can a few times without messing up, go back to speaking them at your normal pace. Practice these for a few minutes each day and you'll be pro in no time
Many mumbling mice are making midnight music in the moonlight.
Aluminum linoleum aluminum linoleum aluminum linoleum aluminum...
Hagrid, Hedwig, Hagrid, Hedwig, Hagrid, Hedwig, Hagrid, Hedwig...
Don't pamper damp scamp tramps that camp under ramp lamps.
She sells sea shells by the sea shore.
The shells she sells are surely seashells.
So if she sells shells on the seashore,
I'm sure she sells seashore shells.
Betty Botter had some butter,
"But," she said, "this butter's bitter.
If I bake this bitter butter,
it would make my batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter--
that would make my batter better."
So she bought a bit of butter,
better than her bitter butter,
and she baked it in her batter,
and the batter was not bitter.
So 'twas better Betty Botter
bought a bit of better butter.
One smart fellow, he felt smart.
Two smart fellows, they felt smart.
Three smart fellows, they all felt smart.
I am not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's mate.
I am only plucking pheasants
'cause the pheasant plucker's running late.
Pace
Nothing bothers me more than those people who get exited and talk so fast that you can't tell when onewordendsandanotherbegins. People also do this when they know the other person is getting bored with them, so they wrap up their entire life's story in a couple of seconds.
Then there are those people that have absolutely no regard for punctuation of any sort and they talk in one never-ending sentence but you don't want to be mean and slap them because they are always the nicest people etc.
And then, there are the opposites, who, lets just say, like to pause for at least, umm, 5 seconds, maybe 10, every chance they, well, get. You've never seen their writing before but you're just positive that they're one of those comma abusers.
Finally, there is the. Guy who ends all of. His sentences in the stupidest. Places. These people tend to have no self esteem, they walk around looking at the ground, never look you in the eyes when they talk to you, that sort of thing.
This is a real obvious one. Just talk like a normal person. Vary your speed depending on excitement of the conversation, but remember to take breaths. Know when to pause or break, but don't overdo it.
Energy
This is difficult to explain, but every word you say has to be backed with a certain level of energy. Remember, energy = good. Chicks dig energetic men.
Whatever you do though, don't confuse energy with excitement. You can be very relaxed but still be energetic. Think of it as your sexual drive. You need to carry that energy across in your voice.
Enthusiasm
This is what will make or break your conversation. Remember when I said that you can make anything interesting? Well this is how it's done, right here. It is your attitude that dictates to her that what you are talking about is exciting, interesting, fun, etc. For example, if you say in a plain, bored voice "Star Wars was the best movie I've ever seen. wow" then people will have reason to doubt you. But if you say it in an upbeat, enthusiastic tone "STAR WARS WAS THE BEST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN!!! WOW!!!" then people will get the idea that there must be something special about this movie. Your enthusiasm WILL raise her interest level in whatever it is that you're talking about, and if it applies to you, her interest in you will go up as well. Always be enthusiastic when discussing yourself. If you hate your job and you let it show, then she will think of you as unsuccessful. But if you work at Wal-Mart and you're proud of it, then you're just living your life
Remember, expression beats dialogue. Have fun!
