crumpiteer
Don Juan
- Joined
- May 15, 2006
- Messages
- 88
- Reaction score
- 0
As independent boyfriends, we do our own choosing. We embrace romance and relationship, but with a consciousness of both the joys and the costs involved. We know that it’s nice to wake up next to a wonderful woman, but that the trade-offs are that she’ll likely have unrealistic expectations of us and unpredictable changes in her mood.
We understand that the ideal and the reality of love must be taken together, and so we feel no impetus to radically change ourselves nor the women we become romantically involved with. And while we're still single, we also do not invest energy in evaluating whether women are "marriage-material." This orientation gives us a power in relationships that is (sadly) not always accessed by our married (or marriage-minded) brothers.
When you remove the endgame-pressures of marriage and procreation from adult relationships, the floor can open to all kinds of growth opportunities, not to mention much more fun. Guys like us, by and large, are really cool boyfriends. Possessed of rich and interesting lives, we are eager to share the experience, but do not expect the woman in our lives to be our sole source of fulfillment. we are happy to let our girlfriends have some time-off with her sisters, and just as happy to have some space for our own pursuits.
We recognize that men and women have different communicaton styles and priorities, and we are willing to accept the challenges that come with this difference. Women should have no delusions about trying to make us behave as women would. We hope that women can see us through the lens of our own uniqueness, and likewise we will offer the same in return.
In fact, an independent boyfriend is the woman's best answer in the world of relationship. An independent boyfriend is always comfortable in his own skin & fully accepts himself for who he truly is, and not for what he represents in terms of society's stereotype, security or material gain.
More importantly, we independant boyfriends strive to take good care of ourselves in our relationships. We understand the importance of individuality, and thus will never drag a girlfriend to the soccer field if she hates it, nor allow ourselves to be dragged to the musicals if we don’t care to go. We know that however good we might be, we cannot be expected to fulfill 100% of women's needs. Only women themselves can do that.
As independent but respectful boyfriends, we will also set careful relationship boundaries; we respect our girlfriends by showing up on time for dates and calling when we say we will. If we feel that we are not being treated with respect in a relationship, we will respectfully communicate this, and clearly ask for a change in behaviour. If we don't see it, we are not afraid to let go and move on.
And this is key: the independent boyfriend understands that, no matter how good a relationship may be, his own life was already fulfilling before this girl came on the scene, and will continue to lead a fulfilling life in the event if the relationship breaks up. The independent boyfriend does not think in terms of “forever,” and does not cling to bad relationships for the sake of being attached. We value each other's time and energy with much respect, so we don't want to deceive each other and carry on beating a dead horse . A relationship, for an independent boyfriend, is seen as an enhancement rather than a means to an end.
We understand that the ideal and the reality of love must be taken together, and so we feel no impetus to radically change ourselves nor the women we become romantically involved with. And while we're still single, we also do not invest energy in evaluating whether women are "marriage-material." This orientation gives us a power in relationships that is (sadly) not always accessed by our married (or marriage-minded) brothers.
When you remove the endgame-pressures of marriage and procreation from adult relationships, the floor can open to all kinds of growth opportunities, not to mention much more fun. Guys like us, by and large, are really cool boyfriends. Possessed of rich and interesting lives, we are eager to share the experience, but do not expect the woman in our lives to be our sole source of fulfillment. we are happy to let our girlfriends have some time-off with her sisters, and just as happy to have some space for our own pursuits.
We recognize that men and women have different communicaton styles and priorities, and we are willing to accept the challenges that come with this difference. Women should have no delusions about trying to make us behave as women would. We hope that women can see us through the lens of our own uniqueness, and likewise we will offer the same in return.
In fact, an independent boyfriend is the woman's best answer in the world of relationship. An independent boyfriend is always comfortable in his own skin & fully accepts himself for who he truly is, and not for what he represents in terms of society's stereotype, security or material gain.
More importantly, we independant boyfriends strive to take good care of ourselves in our relationships. We understand the importance of individuality, and thus will never drag a girlfriend to the soccer field if she hates it, nor allow ourselves to be dragged to the musicals if we don’t care to go. We know that however good we might be, we cannot be expected to fulfill 100% of women's needs. Only women themselves can do that.
As independent but respectful boyfriends, we will also set careful relationship boundaries; we respect our girlfriends by showing up on time for dates and calling when we say we will. If we feel that we are not being treated with respect in a relationship, we will respectfully communicate this, and clearly ask for a change in behaviour. If we don't see it, we are not afraid to let go and move on.
And this is key: the independent boyfriend understands that, no matter how good a relationship may be, his own life was already fulfilling before this girl came on the scene, and will continue to lead a fulfilling life in the event if the relationship breaks up. The independent boyfriend does not think in terms of “forever,” and does not cling to bad relationships for the sake of being attached. We value each other's time and energy with much respect, so we don't want to deceive each other and carry on beating a dead horse . A relationship, for an independent boyfriend, is seen as an enhancement rather than a means to an end.