The importance of a break from here

[Stanley]

It is important to take breaks from here.​

I will have been here for nearly 6 months and in that time I have taken away a considerable amount of knowledge, new perspectives and tested my own beliefs and thought processes. I also can’t fathom the amount of time i’ve spent here.
(ironic how this is my 999 message, how fitting)

I’ve challenged and tested my mental conditioning and recognized my most significant insecurities. I am at a point where I am satisfied as my motivations for coming to this board have been fulfilled and I got what I wanted from it. (and then some)



I believe this forum can be an extremely useful tool, but it is a potentially slippery slope.

You can quickly find yourself falling down the rabbit hole. Whether you intend to or not you pick up on what others are putting out there and that isn’t always a great thing...

-You begin to spend more time at your desk searching up queries.

-You waste time and energy getting into arguments not worth arguing.

-You find yourself contesting your morals and principals.

-You find yourself getting into long winded fruitless discussions.

-You spend time on the internet ‘socializing’ and engaging in mental gymnastics with strangers

-You find reasons to justify the distraction

-You spend more and more time online and not in reality, not in the present moment.


Many come here to learn, some to teach, others to vent, some to gloat, some to hate, some to troll, some to bring others down and a few who aim to bring others up. But one major takeaway I have from this all is that many here are not doing, they are thinking, not doing.
(I have at times found myself guilty of this.)

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This board (for some) is a brief respite from their unpleasant thoughts and day to day life. A place where they can exist in a different way from the real world. Perhaps more unfiltered, perhaps more unhinged, perhaps with more anonymous bravado behind their keyboard and monitor.

We all came here for a certain reason, but with the passage of time I think we stay due to reasons often entirely unrelated from our initial spur of motivation to join the board. When we get to that point, I think it is best to reassess what this board means to you.


Is the time you spend here valuable to you? Is it time well spent? Is it helping you? Or dragging you down? Why have you not solved the underlying reason for coming here? And if you have, why are you still here?

Now, I'm not saying one should leave, but I am encouraging reflection. If this site is not serving you in your present state then I think it is important to take breaks and retain your sense of objectivity. If you’ve got what you came for then your motivations to stay should be different from the initial catalyst to join in the first place. Also to be weary of empathy and helping others too much and not prioritizing yourself


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I’ve seen posters come and go.

Some asking to be banned, others self sabotaging to do so, some who float in and out, those who make alternate accounts and come back, those who lurk. The guests viewing at every hour on the verge of making an account when the moment feels right. I see those willing to improve themselves and those who fall to victimhood and self pity. I see the expressed views of others and consider them even if I disagree. I’ve seen through the nonsense and have learned how to pan out the gold nuggets of wisdom from some here and leave behind the mud.


We all have our reasons for coming here, for being here, for leaving here.

I think it is best to take a break when you’ve had your fill. Leave satiated and come back when you find yourself hungry and slipping backwards in need of the supplement that is SoSuave. The more time you spend here ‘learning’ in excess the less time you spend out there getting after it. The more you ‘know’ the less you are ‘doing’. It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows.

“We live on an island surrounded by a sea of ignorance. As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance.”
-John Archibald Wheeler​

 

[Gamisch]

It is important to take breaks from here.​

I will have been here for nearly 6 months and in that time I have taken away a considerable amount of knowledge, new perspectives and tested my own beliefs and thought processes. I also can’t fathom the amount of time i’ve spent here.
(ironic how this is my 999 message, how fitting)

I’ve challenged and tested my mental conditioning and recognized my most significant insecurities. I am at a point where I am satisfied as my motivations for coming to this board have been fulfilled and I got what I wanted from it. (and then some)



I believe this forum can be an extremely useful tool, but it is a potentially slippery slope.

You can quickly find yourself falling down the rabbit hole. Whether you intend to or not you pick up on what others are putting out there and that isn’t always a great thing...

-You begin to spend more time at your desk searching up queries.

-You waste time and energy getting into arguments not worth arguing.

-You find yourself contesting your morals and principals.

-You find yourself getting into long winded fruitless discussions.

-You spend time on the internet ‘socializing’ and engaging in mental gymnastics with strangers

-You find reasons to justify the distraction

-You spend more and more time online and not in reality, not in the present moment.


Many come here to learn, some to teach, others to vent, some to gloat, some to hate, some to troll, some to bring others down and a few who aim to bring others up. But one major takeaway I have from this all is that many here are not doing, they are thinking, not doing.
(I have at times found myself guilty of this.)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This board (for some) is a brief respite from their unpleasant thoughts and day to day life. A place where they can exist in a different way from the real world. Perhaps more unfiltered, perhaps more unhinged, perhaps with more anonymous bravado behind their keyboard and monitor.

We all came here for a certain reason, but with the passage of time I think we stay due to reasons often entirely unrelated from our initial spur of motivation to join the board. When we get to that point, I think it is best to reassess what this board means to you.


Is the time you spend here valuable to you? Is it time well spent? Is it helping you? Or dragging you down? Why have you not solved the underlying reason for coming here? And if you have, why are you still here?

Now, I'm not saying one should leave, but I am encouraging reflection. If this site is not serving you in your present state then I think it is important to take breaks and retain your sense of objectivity. If you’ve got what you came for then your motivations to stay should be different from the initial catalyst to join in the first place. Also to be weary of empathy and helping others too much and not prioritizing yourself


—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I’ve seen posters come and go.

Some asking to be banned, others self sabotaging to do so, some who float in and out, those who make alternate accounts and come back, those who lurk. The guests viewing at every hour on the verge of making an account when the moment feels right. I see those willing to improve themselves and those who fall to victimhood and self pity. I see the expressed views of others and consider them even if I disagree. I’ve seen through the nonsense and have learned how to pan out the gold nuggets of wisdom from some here and leave behind the mud.


We all have our reasons for coming here, for being here, for leaving here.

I think it is best to take a break when you’ve had your fill. Leave satiated and come back when you find yourself hungry and slipping backwards in need of the supplement that is SoSuave. The more time you spend here ‘learning’ in excess the less time you spend out there getting after it. The more you ‘know’ the less you are ‘doing’. It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows.

“We live on an island surrounded by a sea of ignorance. As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance.”
-John Archibald Wheeler​

I feel ya. The fact that members come and go tells you enough. This board is too niche, and too small to keep members on board for the long term. I ,again, think an improved search /related topics function will keep members hooked for a longer period, because the topics you'll find now, you'll find through Google or specifically looking it up.

That being said, i could only wish I've found this board earlier,during my relationship/LTR/living together/getting kids days . Wouid be extremely helpful.

I believe that the overall interest from men in dating has declined due a completely different way of dating. Old made it all feel more random. Upload pictures, power swipe all and wait for the fish to swim into your net is different from lets say, hold your breath and take a jump into the water( cold approach). I guess there are tons of men who felt like their main power to attract women is taking away from them( charisma humor wit ,big D ect). Different era ,different dating style ,different types of men will benefit.

Ss will always be like fitness. You can grow your arm ,but once it reaches your ideal size you'll also have to maintain it. If you let go of "training " you might still have big muscles a year later without touching a dumbbell. But sooner or later you must het back at it..

Recently a member posted he was back after (yet another) failed ltr. Because you will fall back on your habits, only some will have a false sense of security (!!).Thats why i always state i am bluepill. Been blue my entire life and it would be delusional to claim being RP just because its sounds cool. Its twice as painful to see your relationships dying while you already studied game...like getting your azz whooped by fat jimmy while you have a second degree karate black belt. Because theory is great, reality (women) has funny ways to surprise you

Tldr: Huey, Dewey en Louie (Donald duck's cousins) had that book that contained endless information about all kinds of things. Thats what is ss to me. My secret book i can use to make my dating life a little better.

And dpmt worry about the amount of posts. At my favorite team's forum people join on the 1st, and by the end of the month they might have up to 3000 messages..talking solely about a soccer team..a hobby

 

[DonJuanjr]

Been blue my entire life and it would be delusional to claim being RP just because its sounds cool.

Many claim it, but haven't truly accepted it. There's a difference between being aware and acceptance. I maintain, if one didn't have an identity crisis, they haven't accepted it.

 

[Gamisch]

Many claim it, but haven't truly accepted it. There's a difference between being aware and acceptance. I maintain, if one didn't have an identity crisis, they haven't accepted it.

Interesting pov. I would like to hear more

 

[Gamisch]

@Stanley , i made that thread called, "talking bout RP shyte with women ".i loved the overall consensus that sosuave =fightclub. It doesnt exists, you made it all up its all in your mind right?

1st rule of fightclub..

 

[DonJuanjr]

Interesting pov. I would like to hear more

If you found out that reality wasn't what you thought. Wouldn't it create a domino effect of analyzing who you were? It did for me anyways. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I analyzed myself, got depressed, couldn't sleep for a week, etc.

 

[Ricky]

I am taking a break from social media but i find forums kind of feel that void. Content quality varies here, but you can generally kind of tell which posts and posters have the right mindset.

It is key to avoid victim mindset at all costs. It limits your progress in every area of life. Yes some aspects of life are beyond our control, stoicism and life's lessons teach us this. If we practice the fundamentals however we set ourselves up for success.

Good luck and godspeed.

 

[Gamisch]

If you found out that reality wasn't what you thought. Wouldn't it create a domino effect of analyzing who you were? It did for me anyways. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I analyzed myself, got depressed, couldn't sleep for a week, etc.

Definitely. I made women THE most important thing in my life by a stretch. Thats why the whole red and blue analogy is so strong. Rp is like hotel California.

The actual truth is a bitter pill to swallow. Its like an amputation. To me at least. Some hardwired beliefs had to go, even though it hurts me. The blue side of me is hardwired to pedestalize women.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Great post. It should be featured on the home page for members to know the pros and cons of the "manosphere" and especially "manosphere" online forums.

Thanks for sharing.

 

[Stanley]

@Stanley , i made that thread called, "talking bout RP shyte with women ".i loved the overall consensus that sosuave =fightclub. It doesnt exists, you made it all up its all in your mind right?

1st rule of fightclub..

Fight club has always been a film that I connected with since my older brother showed it to me as a kid. I know by this point that fight club can be somewhat cliche in the 'manosphere' but it rightfully has cemented itself as a film/book every man should experience imo.

I am taking a break from social media but i find forums kind of feel that void. Content quality varies here, but you can generally kind of tell which posts and posters have the right mindset.

It is key to avoid victim mindset at all costs. It limits your progress in every area of life. Yes some aspects of life are beyond our control, stoicism and life's lessons teach us this. If we practice the fundamentals however we set ourselves up for success.

Good luck and godspeed.

Despite my age i've not ever really delved into social media of any kind

There are times where I've felt FOMO, but it has always been short lived. This board has its place, but I often feel concerned for those that use it in 'excess' or to the extent that in can potentially be detrimental to their own growth and development.

Come here when needed to get a dose of what is missing in your life, but do not take for granted the knowledge you may be exposed to here. I'm sure you know this well given your time here on the board and I genuinely appreciate your insight on the matter.

Great post. It should be featured on the home page for members to know the pros and cons of the "manosphere" and especially "manosphere" online forums.

Thanks for sharing.

Humbled, thank you.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

For those lamenting the search available here. Simply type:

site: https://www.sosuave.net/forum/ YOUR SEARCH TERMS

Into your browser bar, I wrote a post about this like a year ago. This method works much better than the embedded search.