squirrels
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2003
- Messages
- 6,628
- Reaction score
- 178
- Age
- 45
Anyone can claim to be beautiful if they avoid mirrors.
What I'm talking about here is the typical trap that I believe a lot of you fall into on this forum, the one that, last night, I realized just how far *I* had fallen into.
You know how it is...you're struggling with a woman/some women and you want to learn better how to seduce them and become more attractive. So you find this site and its wealth of information about socializing techniques, masculine behavior, proper mindset, etc...you end up studying it and trying to apply bits and pieces of it here and there to certain situations. The first couple times you fail, you attribute it to being "green".
Then all of a sudden it works for you. You get laid once. Maybe even twice. Maybe you manage to pull a few numbers and actually hold down a chick or two.
You've got it...you're the MASTER DON JUAN.
Or are you?
Doesn't matter. Having seduced a woman or two, you have reached a point in your romantic life that many of the people on this forum NEVER reach. You've studied the advice and seen it work. You start passing bits and pieces of this experience down to other members. A little bit at first, then more and more. People start to look up to you as someone who "really knows what he's talking about."
Then you make the worst mistake any man can make...you become COMFORTABLE.
You sit back and rest on your haunches, believing that your extensive forum-knowledge and they scattered few experiences where it actually WORKED have transformed you, changed your attitude and made you a better, more attractive male. You start thinking you can go anywhere and seduce women...if you really wanted to. You start going to clubs and laughing at the frat-looking tools who go up to women and run lame game on them. You think to yourself, "She's just using him like a typical chump. If I wanted to, I could easily snatch those b!tches right from under their noses." You're riding the bus or at the gym and you see a cute honey and think, "If I wanted to, I could show that young'un the time of her life." You look at the other people as they pursue women as if you know something they don't.
What you don't realize is that you've fallen back on a self-esteem defense mechanism. The same one that tells the fat chicks that "big is beautiful" and "anyone can wear spandex". You've thoroughly convinced yourself that you are a GOD among men and you could own all the women of this world...if you wanted to.
The truth behind your ego-saving outlook on the universe is this:
-You DO want to.
-You CAN'T.
Now everyone tells you to act like "the great catch," and I'm not here to dispute that. But at the same time, you can't be the emperor with no clothes. As important as it is to "not give a damn what others think" of you as a person, romance is a SOCIAL event, which means that you can't do it alone. (no jack-off jokes please
)
Because eventually someone is going to put you to the test. You're going to meet a girl that you find SO attractive that there is no WAY you can convince yourself any more that you don't "want to". So you're going to try, and you're going to find out something about yourself. You're going to find out that the approach is not as easy as it was with the girls who were already attracted to you. That conversation is not as easy to pace, that your C&F seems contrived and unnatural, or else you're too scared to deliver it. That you suddenly feel self-conscious about kinoing her. That if you should get an opportunity to close, you wonder if she likes you or she's just wondering what would be the quickest way to drop your sorry ass. You're going to feel insecure, retreat into your shell, grab a few more drinks and watch the game, pretending that you're not afraid, that you KNOW what you're doing.
You're then going to do what you always do...shut up, pick yourself up in a haughty stir, and say to yourself, "I don't need her or any of this sh!t. I AM A DON JUAN! I AM A DON JUAN!"
The reality is that you are nothing. And you will continue to be nothing until you first ACCEPT the fact that you are nothing and then strive to improve yourself through experience. Accept your own fallability and then strive to eliminate it through successful experience.
I bring this up because I had this experience last night. It's a disheartening thing. It had me feeling utterly inept and worthless in a way I hadn't felt since I came to this site. It's a tough experience for anyone who has avoided mirrors for so long to convince himself that he is great to see his reflection and realize he is just a fool with an ego complex. I felt like giving up last night. I was just going to give up on society as a whole.
But I woke up this morning and realized that that feeling, that experience was probably JUST what I needed. I needed to see exactly where I was in this "game" to be able to figure out how to take it to the next level. And I think a lot of people here need to do the same thing.
Next time you find yourself uttering or even thinking the phrase, "If I really wanted to...", ask yourself...DO you really want to? And if the answer is yes, then GO DO IT. Even if you fail, the experience and knowledge you will receive will feel infinitely better than the defensive emptiness of your ego-shielding misperceptions.
What I'm talking about here is the typical trap that I believe a lot of you fall into on this forum, the one that, last night, I realized just how far *I* had fallen into.
You know how it is...you're struggling with a woman/some women and you want to learn better how to seduce them and become more attractive. So you find this site and its wealth of information about socializing techniques, masculine behavior, proper mindset, etc...you end up studying it and trying to apply bits and pieces of it here and there to certain situations. The first couple times you fail, you attribute it to being "green".
Then all of a sudden it works for you. You get laid once. Maybe even twice. Maybe you manage to pull a few numbers and actually hold down a chick or two.
You've got it...you're the MASTER DON JUAN.
Or are you?
Doesn't matter. Having seduced a woman or two, you have reached a point in your romantic life that many of the people on this forum NEVER reach. You've studied the advice and seen it work. You start passing bits and pieces of this experience down to other members. A little bit at first, then more and more. People start to look up to you as someone who "really knows what he's talking about."
Then you make the worst mistake any man can make...you become COMFORTABLE.
You sit back and rest on your haunches, believing that your extensive forum-knowledge and they scattered few experiences where it actually WORKED have transformed you, changed your attitude and made you a better, more attractive male. You start thinking you can go anywhere and seduce women...if you really wanted to. You start going to clubs and laughing at the frat-looking tools who go up to women and run lame game on them. You think to yourself, "She's just using him like a typical chump. If I wanted to, I could easily snatch those b!tches right from under their noses." You're riding the bus or at the gym and you see a cute honey and think, "If I wanted to, I could show that young'un the time of her life." You look at the other people as they pursue women as if you know something they don't.
What you don't realize is that you've fallen back on a self-esteem defense mechanism. The same one that tells the fat chicks that "big is beautiful" and "anyone can wear spandex". You've thoroughly convinced yourself that you are a GOD among men and you could own all the women of this world...if you wanted to.
The truth behind your ego-saving outlook on the universe is this:
-You DO want to.
-You CAN'T.
Now everyone tells you to act like "the great catch," and I'm not here to dispute that. But at the same time, you can't be the emperor with no clothes. As important as it is to "not give a damn what others think" of you as a person, romance is a SOCIAL event, which means that you can't do it alone. (no jack-off jokes please
)Because eventually someone is going to put you to the test. You're going to meet a girl that you find SO attractive that there is no WAY you can convince yourself any more that you don't "want to". So you're going to try, and you're going to find out something about yourself. You're going to find out that the approach is not as easy as it was with the girls who were already attracted to you. That conversation is not as easy to pace, that your C&F seems contrived and unnatural, or else you're too scared to deliver it. That you suddenly feel self-conscious about kinoing her. That if you should get an opportunity to close, you wonder if she likes you or she's just wondering what would be the quickest way to drop your sorry ass. You're going to feel insecure, retreat into your shell, grab a few more drinks and watch the game, pretending that you're not afraid, that you KNOW what you're doing.
You're then going to do what you always do...shut up, pick yourself up in a haughty stir, and say to yourself, "I don't need her or any of this sh!t. I AM A DON JUAN! I AM A DON JUAN!"
The reality is that you are nothing. And you will continue to be nothing until you first ACCEPT the fact that you are nothing and then strive to improve yourself through experience. Accept your own fallability and then strive to eliminate it through successful experience.
I bring this up because I had this experience last night. It's a disheartening thing. It had me feeling utterly inept and worthless in a way I hadn't felt since I came to this site. It's a tough experience for anyone who has avoided mirrors for so long to convince himself that he is great to see his reflection and realize he is just a fool with an ego complex. I felt like giving up last night. I was just going to give up on society as a whole.
But I woke up this morning and realized that that feeling, that experience was probably JUST what I needed. I needed to see exactly where I was in this "game" to be able to figure out how to take it to the next level. And I think a lot of people here need to do the same thing.
Next time you find yourself uttering or even thinking the phrase, "If I really wanted to...", ask yourself...DO you really want to? And if the answer is yes, then GO DO IT. Even if you fail, the experience and knowledge you will receive will feel infinitely better than the defensive emptiness of your ego-shielding misperceptions.
