The HUGE Benefits of Marriage!

[ChristopherColumbus]

Maybe I fall in the minority of men, but I believe most of the complaints about marriage are due to a mans poor leadership.

-Overall, the savings are minimal, I would say rent/mortgage is saved, but nothing else. Maybe traveling because you can half gas, hotels, etc.
-The sex will dry up if suck in bed or if you dont meet her emotional needs.
-kids are marriage are two different topics, so thays not really relevant here.

As far as other spending, you have to train your woman. This is done only with proper leadership. Any woman can be trained out of bad spending habits. I've found the best way is to lay out their spending, break it down. (Eg. "You spent $100 on Starbucks last month, that's 1200 a year. That's like two trips to Hawaii."). I love running the number game on people in general. My current lady was hemorrhaging money and had about 8k in debt when we started dating. Shes now debt free and saving about 1k a month. I didnt force her to do anything, I just provided a bit of advice and perspective.

When you can provide advice and perspective on multiple facets of a womans life, she will treat you like the father she wants to fvck. All you need to do is plant the seeds and watch the trees grow. Unfortunately, most men are terrible gardeners, they would rather complain about the soil or the quality of the seeds.

I think you're on slippery ground once you start thinking of having to 'meet a woman's needs'. A woman can be like a yawning chasm becoming more and more needy. Good luck with that. What you really need [if you're to enter a LTR/ marriage] is a virtuous woman capable of gratitude... of being thankful for what she does have. Until then, monk-mode [self-mastery] for me. lol

 

[Roober]

I think you're on slippery ground once you start thinking of having to 'meet a woman's needs'. A woman can be like a yawning chasm becoming more and more needy. Good luck with that. What you really need [if you're to enter a LTR/ marriage] is a virtuous woman capable of gratitude... of being thankful for what she does have. Until then, monk-mode [self-mastery] for me. lol

When speaking of emotional needs, I am speaking of the basic emotional needs that all people have. For example, you cant work 90 hours a week indefinitely and expect a relationship to last. Similarly, she cant be distant or aloof and expect a guy to stick around. I figured that was implied.

And those certainly are good qualities to have, much more difficult to find in women under 30 considering how much our younger generation has been coddled.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

When speaking of emotional needs, I am speaking of the basic emotional needs that all people have. For example, you cant work 90 hours a week indefinitely and expect a relationship to last. Similarly, she cant be distant or aloof and expect a guy to stick around. I figured that was implied.

And those certainly are good qualities to have, much more difficult to find in women under 30 considering how much our younger generation has been coddled.

The only needs people really have are the basic needs of food and shelter. Thanks to thinkers such as Maslow [hierarchy of needs], near everything is thought of as a need nowadays [we have become very needy... lol]. The reality is these other things, that rise like the superstructure on our basic physical needs, are desires. And desires can be controlled. An example of this is sexual desire... it can be controlled, but on the basis of contemporary logic, it is considered a 'need'. Freud no doubt is complicit in all of this.

What's really going on is a form of [biological] determinism. All forms of determinism seek to undermine responsibility for the self... and the idea of self-determination. They all involve the abrogation of personal responsibility/ ethical behavior, which is at the heart of all our culture's ills in my opinion. Not only does this have an impact in relationships between the sexes, but also at the political level. It's how totalitarian political culture comes into being… and no doubt some form of technological totalitarianism in the near future. Populations devoid of ethics, incapable of self-determination and freedom, are weak and easily manipulated.

 

[RangerMIke]

There are benefits to marriage, but cost of marriage outweighs the benefit. Once a man is married, he has to surrender his wants and needs to the woman. It is never really a true partnership because the government gets involved in your personal life and will side with the woman, and unless you have the resources to fight this in court, and you happen to be unlucky enough to be in a marriage that isn't working, the man will get racked over the coals.

I have said all along that it is possible to find a loyal chick that will improve your life, but if you go into dating without understanding the true nature of chicks your chance of finding her is minimal. But even then it's still like playing Russian Roulette. About 20% of marriages are happy and work for both partners. I know WAY too many marriages that are just bloody miserable.

I don't have anything against a guy that wants to get married and have a family. If that is what he wants, GREAT go for it, just pick the right woman, behave like a man and control the relationship and it can work... But understand it will ALWAYS be work. Too many dudes go into a marriage and think they are done, that they have the chick and everything is great.... Nope, you have to keep working... and even then there are no guarantees of success, and when things go sideways you will be in hell for a little while.

 

[Ranger]

Purpose for marriage:
1) access to regular passionate sex. Not functional sex. More than once a month is imperative.
2) a safe domestic zone to return to. Clean, well kept environment and good food. (Hot dogs and hamburger helper doesn’t count)
3). The birth of your offspring and the care of them.

Anything less then it’s no marriage. It’s an abomination.
Thus...no good reason for marriage.
If you have to have a full time companion that always loves you and always glad to see you..get a dog.

 

[flowtheory]

Just pure insanity on both sides. But at the end of it, I think I would enjoy being in a relationship with a kid and be whipped by life, rather than without a kid or a long term relationship while getting whipped by life.

I think the underlying factor in this whole discussion is that marriage or relationships require a great deal of effort in many avenues. It’s not simple; it’s complicated. Need to find someone who simply has the same values and trajectory to make it somewhat easier than less.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Amen.

I mean I sort of get the male leadership thing but it really does seem like a farce given the market. For every old guy writing tomes aboht leadership there's a pool boy using his woman for a quick nut lol.

They are clowning male leadership. Its almost like man has to keep an amount of dog in him. So if his bytch is cheating him he cheated more by default. Those are the shyt rivers we are navigating.

 

[highSpeed]

They are clowning male leadership. Its almost like man has to keep an amount of dog in him. So if his bytch is cheating him he cheated more by default. Those are the shyt rivers we are navigating.

Truly the understatement of the decade. That is an insult to sh*t rivers everywhere.