Nine Breaker
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 25, 2001
- Messages
- 438
- Reaction score
- 4
When a guy finds himself afflicted with an overwhelming infatuation with one particular woman, commonly referred to here as oneitis, it is often very hard to be able to shake off this powerful feeling.
True, there are those of us who will simply act upon their emotions and strive towards some sort of conclusion with this certain woman, whether it be asking her out or getting her in bed or whatever else, but for many others it is not quite that simple.
The recent uprising of multiple threads on how to beat this oneitis, and the high degree of interest these threads have received is testament to the simple fact that oneitis is a powerful feeling that many here struggle with, or at least have done at some point.
However, beating a current hit of oneitis isn't going to erase the occurence of future infatuations, even if it does help to ease the symptoms later on. "Prevention is better than cure", as they say in the medical profession.
One great problem with having oneitis is that it really messes up your abilities to take a chance with that certain woman, for the simple reason that your infatuation has built up something that appeals to you so greatly that you really don't want to risk losing it. Not only this, but it also means that your advancements with other women are hindered because your feelings towards that one girl are going to consistently get in the way.
This happens because our minds get lazy.
When there is a woman we feel strongly towards, it simulates those "lovey" feelings in our unconscious minds, even if that woman doesn't show too much interest in you (or knows you even exist). We keep on thinking that there is a special girl out there that makes us happy just thinking about. There lies the danger. Since we unconsciously have something that makes us somewhat happy, we don't want to risk losing it.
Ironically, you find yourself alone bacause you have an overwhelming fear of being alone.
Some people often say that the best way to beat this idly pointless behaviour is to go out and focus on other women, to find someone else or just to sleep with tons and tons of women. Sure, it may get your mind of the first girl, but in many cases it merely shifts your infatuation to a different woman.
One of the best ways to live a good life is to act upon your emotions. Actions bear consequences. The best way to beat infatuation (and hence, the dreaded oneitis) is to act upon your feelings - by making a move on that one woman (whatever that move you want to make is). This doesn't mean you are going to get the girl or not, but either way you are going to get a clear outcome - a solid standing on where you should go next.
If, however, the problem is that you have been shot down by that one woman, and you are STILL infatuated by her (shame on you!), then your next move is further action. But, this action is not directed towards that woman. Far from it, your actions should be directed AWAY from that woman. Find something to dedicate yourself to with determination - whether it be learning, hobbies, working out, or going out with mates and having a few laughs. The idea here is to make yourself so damn busy that you don't have the time to be thinking about some woman that wants to find the second-best guy out there.
After all, the very least you deserve is to be with someone that wants to be with you as strongly. What sort of happiness could you possibly get from some woman that won't do a thing for you?
True, there are those of us who will simply act upon their emotions and strive towards some sort of conclusion with this certain woman, whether it be asking her out or getting her in bed or whatever else, but for many others it is not quite that simple.
The recent uprising of multiple threads on how to beat this oneitis, and the high degree of interest these threads have received is testament to the simple fact that oneitis is a powerful feeling that many here struggle with, or at least have done at some point.
However, beating a current hit of oneitis isn't going to erase the occurence of future infatuations, even if it does help to ease the symptoms later on. "Prevention is better than cure", as they say in the medical profession.
One great problem with having oneitis is that it really messes up your abilities to take a chance with that certain woman, for the simple reason that your infatuation has built up something that appeals to you so greatly that you really don't want to risk losing it. Not only this, but it also means that your advancements with other women are hindered because your feelings towards that one girl are going to consistently get in the way.
This happens because our minds get lazy.
When there is a woman we feel strongly towards, it simulates those "lovey" feelings in our unconscious minds, even if that woman doesn't show too much interest in you (or knows you even exist). We keep on thinking that there is a special girl out there that makes us happy just thinking about. There lies the danger. Since we unconsciously have something that makes us somewhat happy, we don't want to risk losing it.
Ironically, you find yourself alone bacause you have an overwhelming fear of being alone.
Some people often say that the best way to beat this idly pointless behaviour is to go out and focus on other women, to find someone else or just to sleep with tons and tons of women. Sure, it may get your mind of the first girl, but in many cases it merely shifts your infatuation to a different woman.
One of the best ways to live a good life is to act upon your emotions. Actions bear consequences. The best way to beat infatuation (and hence, the dreaded oneitis) is to act upon your feelings - by making a move on that one woman (whatever that move you want to make is). This doesn't mean you are going to get the girl or not, but either way you are going to get a clear outcome - a solid standing on where you should go next.
If, however, the problem is that you have been shot down by that one woman, and you are STILL infatuated by her (shame on you!), then your next move is further action. But, this action is not directed towards that woman. Far from it, your actions should be directed AWAY from that woman. Find something to dedicate yourself to with determination - whether it be learning, hobbies, working out, or going out with mates and having a few laughs. The idea here is to make yourself so damn busy that you don't have the time to be thinking about some woman that wants to find the second-best guy out there.
After all, the very least you deserve is to be with someone that wants to be with you as strongly. What sort of happiness could you possibly get from some woman that won't do a thing for you?
