The hell with self-improvement

KillingTime

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 21, 2004
Messages
341
Reaction score
2
I was looking through pics and something just hit me, and i need to talk about it because something isn't working for me and needs to change

Im 20, 4-5 years ago:
I was scrawny, had terrible acne, had a "crazier" looking haircut (5-6 inches on top, buzzed on the sides, just let it hang down) and just wore jeans and band t-shirts everyday.

Fast forward, now:
I have a generic short haircut, wear nothing but designer clothes, in general ive really cleaned up my image from "punk" to "classy/conservative"

The result?
Maybe it's just the pics but I think I looked TONS better back then than I do now.
I remember I used to get chicks left and right, even at 15 I was being offered sex.
Now, I feel I look like crap... technically speaking ive improved myself but I feel im looking more like Bill Cosby everyday lol.

What's the deal? Why did "self-improvement" make me look worse?
I looked better, felt better and got tons more women with my ripped up jeans and piercings than I do now with my little bootcut jeans and Abercrombie shirts.

The whole self-improvement thing definately backfired on me, maybe it's because I lost sight of who I really was and am just trying to be something Im not now, maybe it shows....maybe the high-class look just doesn't work for everyone?
 

FunnyCide

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 30, 2004
Messages
124
Reaction score
0
Age
42
You may have improved your appreance but you lost what was really important...confidence. You were probabaly confortable back then being yourself and talked to women with out over thinking now you started to doubt yourself.

I think everyone goes through this I remember highschool wasn't about trying to pickup women it was just about talking with them and having fun which made everything a lot easier. Now the game has changed so we must change with it.

Also women have changed in this time the bad hair cut and worn out t shirt was okay in high school when the girls thought that was cool to wear a led zep shirt but now you'll just look ike your stuck in your teens.

just a thought...
 

Levex

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 31, 2002
Messages
1,085
Reaction score
8
Location
LA
At age 20, if you still wear ripped up jeans and look like a hobo, no self-respecting girl will look at you twice.

I agree though that bodybuilding and muscles are overrated, as for clothes you just have to find a style that makes you look your age, while accenting your good features.
 

Luveno

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 15, 2004
Messages
1,107
Reaction score
12
Age
43
Self-Improvement does NOT equal assimilation into a particular stereotype.

So you used to dress like a punk and you felt great about the world. Why did you change your appearance into something that you weren't happy with?
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,496
Reaction score
63
Location
Galt's Gulch
I think you missed the 'self' part in self improvement. You've changed your appearance but do you only identify yourself by what you wear?

Start considering what you can do to improve yourself internally, improving not how you look but how you feel about yourself. It's already been mentioned the importance of self confidence, that's a good place to start.
 

At this point you probably have a woman (or multiple women) chasing you around, calling you all the time, wanting to be with you. So let's talk about how to KEEP a woman interested in you once you have her. This is BIG! There is nothing worse than getting dumped by a woman that you really, really like.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

muttley

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 4, 2005
Messages
236
Reaction score
2
Originally posted by KillingTime
I was looking through pics and something just hit me, and i need to talk about it because something isn't working for me and needs to change

Im 20, 4-5 years ago:
I was scrawny, had terrible acne, had a "crazier" looking haircut (5-6 inches on top, buzzed on the sides, just let it hang down) and just wore jeans and band t-shirts everyday.

Fast forward, now:
I have a generic short haircut, wear nothing but designer clothes, in general ive really cleaned up my image from "punk" to "classy/conservative"

The result?
Maybe it's just the pics but I think I looked TONS better back then than I do now.
I remember I used to get chicks left and right, even at 15 I was being offered sex.
Now, I feel I look like crap... technically speaking ive improved myself but I feel im looking more like Bill Cosby everyday lol.

What's the deal? Why did "self-improvement" make me look worse?
I looked better, felt better and got tons more women with my ripped up jeans and piercings than I do now with my little bootcut jeans and Abercrombie shirts.

The whole self-improvement thing definately backfired on me, maybe it's because I lost sight of who I really was and am just trying to be something Im not now, maybe it shows....maybe the high-class look just doesn't work for everyone?


im 24 now, when i was 17-19 i was skinnier than now, had a little more acne and wasnt very broad or built or anything. My dress sense has improved since then and i look WAY better than i did then. Ive gone up alot of notches in the looks department ( have been complimented like never before :D ) since then BUT i had waaaaaaay more girls back then too. Theres no doubt about it. The simple explanation was that i was VERY confident. I had a "yeh im crazy and dont give a fvck" attitude with every thing. I was one wild as they come person.

When i hit 20, every thing went downhill because i started university. I lost my confidence along the line somewhere, ( i now know how it occured ) and hit rock bottom for about 4 more yrs. Thank god i realised where i was going wrong and lateley have been feeling like the Terminators bigger stronger brother lol. i FEEL INVINCIBLE!. i AM INVINCEABLE.

I have 2 girls that are interested in me , ones about hb7.5 and one about hb6, hb7.5 is looking frustrated because ive turned the tables on her and im enjoying the chase ;) , hb6 im not to bothered about.

All i gotta say is , confidence is a powerful thing.

peace.
 
Top