The hell do i do with this girl?

[The Perfectionist]

About a couple of months ago, I met this family friend of ours for the 1st time. Shes about 21. I've never been with anyone with that much of an age gap (8yrs)... but for some reason we hit it off quite well.

Thing is though, most of our interactions have been over the phone because she stays pretty damn far away from me. There was plenty of kino going on between us the last time we met. The phone convos lately have been centered around us playing the role of husband and wife (this sorta happened when we found out our folks were actually contemplating getting us married - so we started joking about that sh!t). She refers to me as 'sweetheart', 'honey'... shows plenty of interest, kisses me goodnight, etc

However, its usually me doing most of the initialization. It's one thing to lead... and another thing to friggin ask for some affection lol. She spends a ton on her phone bills just to give me a call every once in a while, though I hardly see her taking any initiative from her side to show how much shes into me.

I have to mention that I am not trying to just get her to fvk me. I am into this woman and would like to have a LTR with her (maybe its coz I love her family as well). But certain things like these tend to make me think otherwise. Also, I have to mention.. she belongs to a really well to do family and has been handed everything to her on a silver platter throughout her life. Her last shopping spree was in excess of 10000$. She expects her man to be the kind of guy to put her on a pedestal. Fvk that ****, I aint giving her that.

Funny thing is, I decided to give her the cold shoulder once and she gives me a call and is all kinky with me over the phone. However, after I decided to reward her with some affection myself... she again takes things for granted.

Its been 2 days now since I have spoken. I havent called and neither has she. I know shes expecting me to give her a call. I just dont feel like doing it. Feel like I have had enough of being taken for granted and its time she takes the time to show me shes into me (or not).

So i feel i shouldnt bother getting in touch with her until she does. What do u think? If she doesnt respond soon, I think i should cut off ties and move on. Opinions?

 

[game.r]

I have to warn you that guys are gonna jump all over you for this post. I will not do so, even though thats my first reaction. Instead i will tell you what i get from your post and ask you a few questions...

Based on your post, it seems that you have fallen in love based on telephone conversations. This type of love (built on a telephone) is hard to sustain in the real world of day to day interaction. choosing to enter a LTR based on telephone conversations, a few meetings and because you "love her family" (...money?) is a poor poor poor bet.

Now for the questions...

How many times have you guys met up?
who initiates said meeting?
what happens on said meetings? kissing? grab assing? head? sex?

If you get into a LTR, how will it work... is she moving to you or you to her or will it stay long distance?

If she moves to you, does that mean you will live together?

/questions.

My advice;

Don't get into a relationship with her. Your feelings have developed in a vacuum. You enter a LTR after spending lots of time with someone, and after qualifying them, after learning a lot about them. None of this can be done long distance.

She gives plenty of kino and role plays on the phone... she's 21, this is normal. she spends a ton of money calling you... but she also spends $10 grand on a single shopping trip, perhaps what you think is "a ton of money", really isn't to her?

Press the mute button on everything, except her actions. Listen to what those actions tell you.

GL

 

[The Perfectionist]

To be honest, I was squirming after I made my post and did expect a barrage of insults But really appreciate your response.

True, maybe I did fall for her over the phone conversations. And yes, my affection towards her family could have blinded me to some extent to do so (money? not exactly.. its hard to explain, but if I ever were to get married to her I would be expected to take over some aspects of the family business.. which I would not been interested at all to do so)

I had met her initially about 6 months ago for like a couple of days. After that we were casually in touch on the internet. But it was recently (about a couple of months back) that she and her family had visited us for a week. That was when I spent any significant amount of time with her. We hung out a few times in that period and I had initiated most of them. Kino and kissing was what had happened in those times we hung out (ass grabbing, sex, head lol.. dont think i had spent enough time with her to escalated that much)

Well if we do get into an LTR, she will be moving to where I am (will take a while but thats whats gonna happen) and yes that does mean we will be living together.

To be honest with you, I am not obsessive about her and always keep asking myself if I am doing the right thing. Its hard for me to come to a conclusion because I dont want to be influenced by external factors (her family, looks, etc)

That could be true.

I have. I have taken a step back, cut all the regular phone conversations (we used to talk ever single day). Its been 3 days and I havent called her, neither has she. Even if she does decide to call, I am going to be nonchalant and instigate nothing with her. That would give me enough material to assess anyway.

 

[AMDG]

If she doesnt respond soon, I think i should cut off ties and move on. Opinions?

Move on - she has a princess mentality and you cannot change that.

 

[backbreaker]

instead of ragging on the guy, i'm just going to post the lryics to the song computer love.



you know i've been searching for somone

to share that special love with me

and your eyes have that glow

could it be your face i see

on my computer screen

Need that special girl

to share with my computer love

I no longer need a strategy

Thanks to modern technology

Shooby doo bop shoo doo bop I wanna love you (my fav part of the song)



dog, you lost me when you said you gave her "affection" by talking to her over the phone.

 

[jophil28]

To be honest with you, I am not obsessive about her and always keep asking myself if I am doing the right thing. Its hard for me to come to a conclusion because I dont want to be influenced by external factors (her family, looks, etc)

Usually, I am one of the first to advise guys to walk away at the first yellow card . However in this case I would suggest that you not do that . This situation may be ,at the very least, a fine opportunity for you to sharpen your skills, and indeed, you MAY wind up with a woman who worships you.

She has not acted disrespectfully, and she has not really given you good reason to break up with her YET, however, her 'entitled' attitude needs to be dismantled and broken. That is your challenge, and make no mistake, you and what you offer her will be in direct competition to what her parents can. The trick is not to compete on their terms ($) but rather work on creating an extraordinary emotional experience for her when she is with you.
You need to give her what her parents cannot...an emotional rollercoaster.

The danger I see for you is that you may, unless you are fully aware, drift into joining into her life and that of her wealthy parents. The country club crowd , and the big end of town can open a lot of doors for a young man. Resist that.

Take a hard grip on your emotions and stay detached to the extent that you are leading her, and your relationship with her, with your HEAD ( the one stuck on your shoulders). Guide her every moment by being dominant and uncompromising. She is used to hearing "yes" to her wishes and demands, so your saying "no" to her occasionally will create a contrast .
You can expect a few tantrums and pouts from her, but the object here is to to superimpose your wishes, your desires and your manliness on your relationship with her.

Good hunting soldier.

 

[AMDG]

You need to give her what her parents cannot...an emotional rollercoaster.

I tried to do that once to a girl like the one described - but she wanted a sugar daddy no matter what - so I was forced to dump her in order to protect myself.

 

[game.r]

Usually, I am one of the first to advise guys to walk away at the first yellow card . However in this case I would suggest that you not do that . This situation may be ,at the very least, a fine opportunity for you to sharpen your skills, and indeed, you MAY wind up with a woman who worships you.

She has not acted disrespectfully, and she has not really given you good reason to break up with her YET, however, her 'entitled' attitude needs to be dismantled and broken. That is your challenge, and make no mistake, you and what you offer her will be in direct competition to what her parents can. The trick is not to compete on their terms ($) but rather work on creating an extraordinary emotional experience for her when she is with you.
You need to give her what her parents cannot...an emotional rollercoaster.

The danger I see for you is that you may, unless you are fully aware, drift into joining into her life and that of her wealthy parents. The country club crowd , and the big end of town can open a lot of doors for a young man. Resist that.

Take a hard grip on your emotions and stay detached to the extent that you are leading her, and your relationship with her, with your HEAD ( the one stuck on your shoulders). Guide her every moment by being dominant and uncompromising. She is used to hearing "yes" to her wishes and demands, so your saying "no" to her occasionally will create a contrast .
You can expect a few tantrums and pouts from her, but the object here is to to superimpose your wishes, your desires and your manliness on your relationship with her.

Good hunting soldier.

This all sounds good and plausible in theory. But please reread original post again... do you really think he's capable of this?

 

[The Perfectionist]

Move on - she has a princess mentality and you cannot change that.

That's the same thought crossing my mind lately.

Usually, I am one of the first to advise guys to walk away at the first yellow card . However in this case I would suggest that you not do that . This situation may be ,at the very least, a fine opportunity for you to sharpen your skills, and indeed, you MAY wind up with a woman who worships you.

She has not acted disrespectfully, and she has not really given you good reason to break up with her YET, however, her 'entitled' attitude needs to be dismantled and broken. That is your challenge, and make no mistake, you and what you offer her will be in direct competition to what her parents can. The trick is not to compete on their terms ($) but rather work on creating an extraordinary emotional experience for her when she is with you.
You need to give her what her parents cannot...an emotional rollercoaster.

The danger I see for you is that you may, unless you are fully aware, drift into joining into her life and that of her wealthy parents. The country club crowd , and the big end of town can open a lot of doors for a young man. Resist that.

Take a hard grip on your emotions and stay detached to the extent that you are leading her, and your relationship with her, with your HEAD ( the one stuck on your shoulders). Guide her every moment by being dominant and uncompromising. She is used to hearing "yes" to her wishes and demands, so your saying "no" to her occasionally will create a contrast .
You can expect a few tantrums and pouts from her, but the object here is to to superimpose your wishes, your desires and your manliness on your relationship with her.

Good hunting soldier.

Interesting perspective. This woman even blatantly told me once that the reason why she keeps coming back to me is coz I m not one of those 'push over' types who shes dated before... I have been totally c&f with her and shes responded pretty well to that.

I have no intention of drifting into that kind of life. I have seen it from the outside and it makes me feel sick (which is probably why I am not sure if i should even go ahead any further with this). But anyways, I did take the advice on being detached. I gave her a call and acted like i had the time of my life the last 2 days and couldnt find the time to speak to her on the phone. I cut the conversation short and said if she wants to get in touch with me she can do so by calling me tomorrow. Lets see how it goes. Frankly her 'entitlement' attitude has made me feel totally detached from her, I dont know if I can look at her the same way again lol... Thanks again for the advice chief! :rockon:

I tried to do that once to a girl like the one described - but she wanted a sugar daddy no matter what - so I was forced to dump her in order to protect myself.

Would be doing the same thing soon, if I dont see any hope for this one.

This all sounds good and plausible in theory. But please reread original post again... do you really think he's capable of this?

Thanks for the vote of confidence champ Funny how it took just one post of mine to come up to that conclusion. If I fvk it up after all that, then i guess i deserve to be called a chump.