The Hardest Part of the Game to Accept

[Jeffst1980]

Most of the time, flaking doesn't even reflect on you as a man. You can pump her buying temperature sky high, be forced to number close, and never hear from her again. It's nothing personal; pretty girls just have a ton of options and are very easily distracted.

If you are cold approaching attractive, young girls, there is going to be a power imbalance. They are valued more by society than us, and there is little we can do to change that. Our best defense is to stack the odds in our favor- either by approaching tons of sets, or by constructing a "net" in the form of social proof.

We are all scientists here- running experiments, analyzing data, making predictions--it sounds silly, but thinking of game as an experiment ultimately allows us to detach from the negative emotions we experience when things go awry. It is in this light that "rejections" or "flakes" are of little significance--they are just part and parcel of the whole pickup experience. You want to protect your ego? Become celibate--that's the only way you won't face rejection. For the rest of us, we'll accept the frustrating aspects of pickup because we know the payoff is pretty sweet--we actually get to CHOSE our partner, rather than the other way around.

Do a survey of the couples that you know: How did they meet? Most of the time, it's because of their social circle. This is how most relationships form; the problem is, it's a very limited pool.

The fact that we dare to venture outside of this pool makes us rare, indeed. It also predisposes us to a variety of risks that AFCs aren't willing to take. So be it; we all know full well that we could relax our standards and SETTLE if we were so inclined, and have chosen not to do so. So, it's not our place to whine; it's our job to find solutions to the problems we have imposed upon ourselves.

Also, anyone that is feeling frustrated because of a lack of prospects should discover the joys of bulk texting--you'd be surprised how effective it is when it comes to setting up quick dates.

 

[Big O]

Also, anyone that is feeling frustrated because of a lack of prospects should discover the joys of bulk texting--you'd be surprised how effective it is when it comes to setting up quick dates.

I've been very happy with texting. One day last week I woke up and felt like setting up a same-day lunch date or at least a friend meetup.

I texted 9 people in total, including two guys. I ended up going on a lunch first date with a girl I met several months ago but hadn't contacted since. I think it went well.

All of the others replied, but were busy, out of town, etc.

 

[Poonani Maker]

I've had women be flakey while fvckin. She won't go into the position I'm trying to get her in. You have to literally Force her into doggy, into cowgirl, reverse, spooning. She won't go there on her own. YOU have to lead. A lot of women, if you do nothing, they do nothing. They must be led, like a horse by his reins or a bull by it's nose ring. Now if you've got a man-woman on your hands, aggressive or not submissive, then your positions might just get served up to you on a platter where you don't even have to think about which direction you're gonna take it, she fvcks you instead.

 

[Boilermaker]

It's true what people say...we don't fear failure half as much as we fear the consequences of success.

[...]
Be glad when girls flake. It means you're "off the hook" with regards to responsibility. You don't have to worry about her feelings, what you're going to do with her if she keeps hanging around...she just disqualified herself. Date like five girls at once, so when two flake and you're left with three, you'll be quite relieved.

squirrels is the hero MM forum needs,

our dark knight.

 

[Reyaj]

I do agree it can be really frustrating, sometimes quite hurtful if you really like a girl, but the lesson here is not to put too much emphasis on her and to treat every approach, date, escalation etc as an experience.

I had a LOT of girls flake out on me last year, going from acting quite obsessive to just plain ignoring me. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hurt and confused by this, but I just moved on and learned from the experience.

After a few flakes I realised one of the things I was doing wrong was letting my guard down when she showed high interest. I'd take all her calls, reply to her texts quickly and even move planned dates forward because that's what she wanted and I saw no reason to pull back. Once she backed off and left me wondering what had gone wrong, I realised I was not being a challenge any more and was giving them their own way too much. My point is, I needed to experience those flakes in order to learn what I was doing wrong. Next time I meet a girl I really like, I won't make that same mistake.

I think I am guilty of this as well. It's like all signs point to you having them completely... then we AFC ourselves... See the problem is when they start playing games too though..... Then nobody wins... I feel sometimes you have give in some slack to get the poon

 

[Reyaj]

The difference is that a girl isn't one of your "buds". If she flakes, she gets replaced. If there's a commitment...I wouldn't be committed to a girl who pulls that crap. And if she does, I WOULD let her know it's not cool, but I'd consider it partly my fault for not seeing it coming.



That's the right attitude to have.

I remember maybe like 3-4 years ago I met this girl on MySpace. We met up one night and I went back to her place, but I didn't bang her because I had ridden up with a dude her friend brought back and HE was splitting out. Anyway, long story short, I called her up once or twice and she either flaked on me or gave me some excuse about hanging out. She was one of the finer pieces of ass I had been out with...borderline 9 material, but I went out that night and said, "F**k it, I'm gonna replace THIS girl TONIGHT."

And I did...with a solid 9. She was dressed down and I didn't even realize it when I copped her digits, but when she came up to my house dressed in this cute little skirt, I was like...DAMN.

That was one of those events that was so unreal, I was like, "Holy f**k...have I finally DONE it?? Am I really that much of a MACK that I can do this??" And then I dropped it...like Skywalker trying to pull the X-wing out of the bog, I just dropped it. I could NOT believe that it was that easy, that I had that kind of "power".

It's true what people say...we don't fear failure half as much as we fear the consequences of success. ****, this girl I banged tonight...I'm less worried about never talking to her again than I am worried about what'll happen if she starts catching feelings...whether I really want a "girlfriend"...because it's a time commitment.

Be glad when girls flake. It means you're "off the hook" with regard to responsibility. You don't have to worry about her feelings, what you're going to do with her if she keeps hanging around...she just disqualified herself. Date like five girls at once, so when two flake and you're left with three, you'll be quite relieved.

How do you beat last minute resistance or Anti-Slut Defense? Ok thats off topic but I'm still looking for advice on that after my last frustrating experience.

I agree, spinning plates helps lessen the blow of flaking...

 

[Reyaj]

Most of the time, flaking doesn't even reflect on you as a man. You can pump her buying temperature sky high, be forced to number close, and never hear from her again. It's nothing personal; pretty girls just have a ton of options and are very easily distracted.

If you are cold approaching attractive, young girls, there is going to be a power imbalance. They are valued more by society than us, and there is little we can do to change that. Our best defense is to stack the odds in our favor- either by approaching tons of sets, or by constructing a "net" in the form of social proof.

We are all scientists here- running experiments, analyzing data, making predictions--it sounds silly, but thinking of game as an experiment ultimately allows us to detach from the negative emotions we experience when things go awry. It is in this light that "rejections" or "flakes" are of little significance--they are just part and parcel of the whole pickup experience. You want to protect your ego? Become celibate--that's the only way you won't face rejection. For the rest of us, we'll accept the frustrating aspects of pickup because we know the payoff is pretty sweet--we actually get to CHOSE our partner, rather than the other way around.

Do a survey of the couples that you know: How did they meet? Most of the time, it's because of their social circle. This is how most relationships form; the problem is, it's a very limited pool.

The fact that we dare to venture outside of this pool makes us rare, indeed. It also predisposes us to a variety of risks that AFCs aren't willing to take. So be it; we all know full well that we could relax our standards and SETTLE if we were so inclined, and have chosen not to do so. So, it's not our place to whine; it's our job to find solutions to the problems we have imposed upon ourselves.

Also, anyone that is feeling frustrated because of a lack of prospects should discover the joys of bulk texting--you'd be surprised how effective it is when it comes to setting up quick dates.

Well said! Can you explain more about bulk texting though? Does this mean randomly texting a bunch of plates you have in your phone one day? See I've been trying not to tell off every bvitch that flakes on me.. and keep them on reserve so to speak.. However one truth I have found is that "Rapport" is needed in order to seduce. Therefore if I text some plate I haven't talked to out of the blue one day, I have to work it a bit before I can get her to meet met again right away

If you have any tips to share on this though please do

 

[Falcon25]

A lot of internet tough hearts here. Make no doubt about it, if you are a good man, a strong man, and you give your all to make something happen. And then, it blows up in your face. The rejection, the pain, the sadness are all good feelings. It shows you are alive. It is the sadness of life. In a perfect world, if you are a good man, you deserve a good woman. But it's not. Most, will never even meet a good woman, yet alone marry one. You can read all the books you want, pull allt he pick up lines, and game women to death. In the end, you have to meet a good human being, not just a hot woman. That, is the hardest part to accept about it. Very few good female human beings these days. Very few in both sexes.

 

[Slickster]

A lot of internet tough hearts here. Make no doubt about it, if you are a good man, a strong man, and you give your all to make something happen. And then, it blows up in your face. The rejection, the pain, the sadness are all good feelings. It shows you are alive. It is the sadness of life. In a perfect world, if you are a good man, you deserve a good woman. But it's not. Most, will never even meet a good woman, yet alone marry one. You can read all the books you want, pull allt he pick up lines, and game women to death. In the end, you have to meet a good human being, not just a hot woman. That, is the hardest part to accept about it. Very few good female human beings these days. Very few in both sexes.

Awesome.

The real tough pill to swallow is finally meeting that rare good woman but then it is YOU who isn't ready for her. This is why becoming a good man should always precede learning "game". You can be the biggest stud around, if you don't have anything to back it up you will always fail in your relationships with a good woman.

Here's the kicker. Would you blame her? Would you blame one of these rare good women for flaking or not being interested in you when you know that you are not a good man yourself? You can't. You can only respect them and love them more. That is why they are so desired. They respect themselves.

As men we HAVE to follow suit if we truly want a good woman in our lives. This means becoming a truly good man. Respecting ourselves. As a good man you must not accept anything less than a good woman. If you don't hold women to the same standard as they hold you then you will always be on the losing side of the relationship. And it won't be a relationship with a good woman. As men when we decide to hold women to the highest standard and accept no less, that is when the good women slowly come out of the woodwork.

This is why screwing around with flakey, disrespectful, flighty, fickle, or slutty women will never end up being much more than meaningless sex. You'll scour the world over and fail to find any good women. You'll become bitter and jaded about it. Further ruining your chances if you do finally meet that rare good woman. What do you expect if you run around thinking with your d!ck all the time?

If you want a good woman YOU have to open the door to this possibility by becoming a good man. Flakey women have no room in your life. Forget the flakes. Always be moving forward. If you want the best, be the best.

 

[Jeffst1980]

Well said! Can you explain more about bulk texting though? Does this mean randomly texting a bunch of plates you have in your phone one day? See I've been trying not to tell off every bvitch that flakes on me.. and keep them on reserve so to speak.. However one truth I have found is that "Rapport" is needed in order to seduce. Therefore if I text some plate I haven't talked to out of the blue one day, I have to work it a bit before I can get her to meet met again right away

If you have any tips to share on this though please do

I just make a list for flaky girls in my phone. A simple, "hey- i'm gonna be around your area tonight- wanna grab a drink?" or "what are you up to tonight?" should suffice. Most will probably ignore it, but send enough of em and you're bound to get a couple of takers.

ALWAYS make backup plans!! Things fall through all the time, and it's better to be double booked than to be dependent on any one thing.

 

[runner83]

Awesome.

The real tough pill to swallow is finally meeting that rare good woman but then it is YOU who isn't ready for her. This is why becoming a good man should always precede learning "game". You can be the biggest stud around, if you don't have anything to back it up you will always fail in your relationships with a good woman.

Here's the kicker. Would you blame her? Would you blame one of these rare good women for flaking or not being interested in you when you know that you are not a good man yourself? You can't. You can only respect them and love them more. That is why they are so desired. They respect themselves.

As men we HAVE to follow suit if we truly want a good woman in our lives. This means becoming a truly good man. Respecting ourselves. As a good man you must not accept anything less than a good woman. If you don't hold women to the same standard as they hold you then you will always be on the losing side of the relationship. And it won't be a relationship with a good woman. As men when we decide to hold women to the highest standard and accept no less, that is when the good women slowly come out of the woodwork.

This is why screwing around with flakey, disrespectful, flighty, fickle, or slutty women will never end up being much more than meaningless sex. You'll scour the world over and fail to find any good women. You'll become bitter and jaded about it. Further ruining your chances if you do finally meet that rare good woman. What do you expect if you run around thinking with your d!ck all the time?

If you want a good woman YOU have to open the door to this possibility by becoming a good man. Flakey women have no room in your life. Forget the flakes. Always be moving forward. If you want the best, be the best.

Awesome way to put it.

Although I don't think there is anything wrong with "playing the field" before you are ready for this.

As long as you don't take it personally, this will give you exposure to a variety of woman, and you'll get used to the situations that can occur.

If you have other options, that will give you the mindframe that you won't really care if any particualr girl flakes, and moving on is much easier.

 

[squirrels]

How do you beat last minute resistance or Anti-Slut Defense? Ok thats off topic but I'm still looking for advice on that after my last frustrating experience.

I agree, spinning plates helps lessen the blow of flaking...

Hmm...steadily escalating kino, reading her response, sometimes a healthy degree of patience. Remember, girls want to be f**ked. You need to make her comfortable with you while at the same time making her feel your sexual presence.

Get into her...really enjoy being with her (her body is wonderland )...and learn the arts of kissing and foreplay. Don't make her feel like a "notch", someone you're just f**king so you can run and tell SoSuave. Every girl I've f**ked is "special" in her own way.

 

[Slickster]

Although I don't think there is anything wrong with "playing the field" before you are ready for this.

As long as you don't take it personally, this will give you exposure to a variety of woman, and you'll get used to the situations that can occur.

If you have other options, that will give you the mindframe that you won't really care if any particualr girl flakes, and moving on is much easier.

Sure, play the field on your journey to become a better man. However, if you are a guy out there gaming you shouldn't be complaining about the lack of good women and flaking either. It comes with the territory.

That is something I never really understand around here. All these guys want to be players but they whine about flaking and untrustworthy women. What do you expect?

 

[nismo-4]

The ones you love the most always seem to get away, and the ones who love you the most can never seem to win your heart. It is sad, but that seems to be the irony of life. Maybe there is some middle ground, or once in a blue moon probability will fall in your favor and you'll find one you share equal feelings with. I've yet to reach either one though.

It happens to the best of us. The game is stacked in the women's favor. Case and point; A man has to:

1. Have money
2. Be outgoing
3. Be handsome
4. Be high status
5. Have ambition
6. This list goes on and on.

Meanwhile a woman has to:
1. Look pretty
2. Be beautiful

I really don't think there's a such thing as a soul mate. That just puts females on a pedestal IMO.

 

[Slickster]

It happens to the best of us. The game is stacked in the women's favor. Case and point; A man has to:

1. Have money
2. Be outgoing
3. Be handsome
4. Be high status
5. Have ambition
6. This list goes on and on.

Meanwhile a woman has to:
1. Look pretty
2. Be beautiful

I really don't think there's a such thing as a soul mate. That just puts females on a pedestal IMO.

YES AND HERE LIES THE ROOT OF OUR PROBLEM!!!

We as men HAVE TO STOP giving women a free pass based on their looks. We HAVE TO STOP complaining about the lack of good women out there because it is OUR OWN DAMN FAULT for letting them get away with it.

It's human nature to do as little as possible to get by. Why would any woman work at becoming a good person when all she needs is to look beautiful and some sucker will give her anything she wants. Men must DEMAND more! Stop wasting your time with women who show poor behaviour. Demand respect, integrity, personality, etc.

Expect the highest of standards from the women in your life. If you truly are a good man (a prize) these women are out there and will find you. They will do anything to keep you.

As soon as she knows you are under her spell the power of her pvssy takes over. YOU ARE HER SLAVE. Of course she's going to be flakey. What do you expect? YOU ARE WEAK.

STOP THINKING WITH D!CKS GENTLEMEN!!!

 

[CrashOverRide]

YES AND HERE LIES THE ROOT OF OUR PROBLEM!!!

We as men HAVE TO STOP giving women a free pass based on their looks. We HAVE TO STOP complaining about the lack of good women out there because it is OUR OWN DAMN FAULT for letting them get away with it.

It's human nature to do as little as possible to get by. Why would any woman work at becoming a good person when all she needs is to look beautiful and some sucker will give her anything she wants. Men must DEMAND more! Stop wasting your time with women who show poor behaviour. Demand respect, integrity, personality, etc.

Expect the highest of standards from the women in your life. If you truly are a good man (a prize) these women are out there and will find you. They will do anything to keep you.

As soon as she knows you are under her spell the power of her pvssy takes over. YOU ARE HER SLAVE. Of course she's going to be flakey. What do you expect? YOU ARE WEAK.

STOP THINKING WITH D!CKS GENTLEMEN!!!

I wish you could broadcast that message to the world Slickster. It will take a universal collective effort to start changing things...

 

[Demodulate]

The ones you love the most always seem to get away, and the ones who love you the most can never seem to win your heart. It is sad, but that seems to be the irony of life. Maybe there is some middle ground, or once in a blue moon probability will fall in your favor and you'll find one you share equal feelings with. I've yet to reach either one though.

:rockon:

sooo true..

 

[rbd]

For me, the hardest thing is coming to realize that suffering and disappointment are an ever present part of this life. When I was younger and not able to get a woman to save my life, I saw the skills for the attainment of a good girlfriend as my ticket out of my troubles. Now I have those skills, and find that there are new troubles.

Was lack of sex the problem earlier? Now that you can get women for that without a lot of hassle, you find that it normally doesn’t hold the magic it used to (or that it is sometimes not worth the hassle). Was lack of maturity of girls your age the problem? Now that you are older and more experienced, you find that while some women your age may mature emotionally, the amount of baggage they acquire has also increased. Perhaps you saw getting in shape as the answer to your woes, not just with women, but with life. Now that you are actually in shape, you find yourself aging, and start seeing new cracks and marks on your skin as your body doesn’t work as well as it used to anymore.

In the end I think reaching a level of acceptance on not only the nature of the game, but the nature of this mortal life cycle, and the nature of attachment and suffering is the hardest thing. The answer here is that suffering, change and death are ever-present. I have found that the realization and acceptance of this truth and all its implications has done the most by far to bring me lasting happiness and by extension, success with women, no question about it.

And as I continue my meditation on this life, I can tell you that seeing through the fog, the matrix, samsara, maya, mitote, or whatever you wish to call it is a transformative experience: I’m not as impatient, or striving, or anxiety-prone as I used to be. I meet with women on dates and don’t get nearly as nervous anymore, because I see that they are just the same as me, stuck in the same maze. The extra confidence is amazing (my only fear is that I’ll somehow lose it!)

I think a lot of what is taught here in the MM forum is good medicine because it helps us realize the folly of attachment, anger and ignorance in perpetuating the endless cycle of suffering. Buddhist teachings have also been most helpful here for me.

For anyone that is interested in any of this, I’d recommend “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle and “The Way to Freedom” by The Dalai Lama as good starters.

Robby

 

[Reyaj]

For me, the hardest thing is coming to realize that suffering and disappointment are an ever present part of this life. When I was younger and not able to get a woman to save my life, I saw the skills for the attainment of a good girlfriend as my ticket out of my troubles. Now I have those skills, and find that there are new troubles.

Was lack of sex the problem earlier? Now that you can get women for that without a lot of hassle, you find that it normally doesn’t hold the magic it used to (or that it is sometimes not worth the hassle). Was lack of maturity of girls your age the problem? Now that you are older and more experienced, you find that while some women your age may mature emotionally, the amount of baggage they acquire has also increased. Perhaps you saw getting in shape as the answer to your woes, not just with women, but with life. Now that you are actually in shape, you find yourself aging, and start seeing new cracks and marks on your skin as your body doesn’t work as well as it used to anymore.

In the end I think reaching a level of acceptance on not only the nature of the game, but the nature of this mortal life cycle, and the nature of attachment and suffering is the hardest thing. The answer here is that suffering, change and death are ever-present. I have found that the realization and acceptance of this truth and all its implications has done the most by far to bring me lasting happiness and by extension, success with women, no question about it.

And as I continue my meditation on this life, I can tell you that seeing through the fog, the matrix, samsara, maya, mitote, or whatever you wish to call it is a transformative experience: I’m not as impatient, or striving, or anxiety-prone as I used to be. I meet with women on dates and don’t get nearly as nervous anymore, because I see that they are just the same as me, stuck in the same maze. The extra confidence is amazing (my only fear is that I’ll somehow lose it!)

I think a lot of what is taught here in the MM forum is good medicine because it helps us realize the folly of attachment, anger and ignorance in perpetuating the endless cycle of suffering. Buddhist teachings have also been most helpful here for me.

For anyone that is interested in any of this, I’d recommend “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle and “The Way to Freedom” by The Dalai Lama as good starters.

Robby

Thanks for that Robby. I will now proceed to hang myself :wave:

 

[PokerStar]

*takes a deep breath*