The girl you just CAN'T figure out

[nismo-4]

Judge nismo and the jury figured this girl out. Why haven't you?

This girl doesn't want you sexually. This is the treadmill effect. You're running but getting nowhere!

You want proof? Ok.

Exhibit A: You went, goddamn it, I'm just gonna break down your whole post.

Going to make this as short as I can, so please, if anyone has any advice...

The jury did, and this is a long ass post. No harm done, at least not to me.

Met this girl back in early december through a friend online and went out on a nice dinner date in mid december, to a very nice place she suggested. She lives a half hour away from me and i picked her up and didn't know any places around her, so she picked. When the bill came I paid which was fine but she didn't do so much as OFFER to pay a dime. Again, not that i would expect her to pay, i just found it odd that she didn't say a word and just let me whip out my credit card. Very high maintenance feeling. She did seem like she meant it when she said thank you though. Overall the dinner lasted TWO hours and we just talked and talked. Good times. She was great. Nice, beautiful, outgoing. Before I dropped her off I got a big time make out in the car which was amazing. I figured I was in. Boy was I kind of off.

You figured wrong motherf**ker! I was guilty of this too before! Dinner dates are for women who you've f**ked already. This is not such a woman. And you went with her suggestion. You had no plan. Not a quality of a man. Failure to plan is a plan to failure. And since she didn't offer to pay, she's got your wallet. And you're in the friendzone! When you talked, why the f**k didn't you talk about sex? A makeout in the car is to make you think you're in her pants. False hope. And you did it to yourself by putting her on a pedestal!

From the very next day when I texted her seeing whats up, her responses were now delayed for hours, she didn't write back anything big, didn't ask me anything, didn't try and get to know me any better, and eventually I got the feeling that this was a party girl who just went out to get a free meal and her beauty validated by me.

No sh*t Sherlock! You texted the next day? Dummy. She's got all the power. You gave it to her, after all.

THere was even a case where I texted her asking how her xmas was where it took her an ENTIRE day to write back and when she did, she did NOT ask how mine was. At that point I figured I was done for.

I really should just sentence you and close the case here. You faced reality.

I should note that this girl recently lost weight and is now hot. Another red flag that maybe she's just trying to live life now and use me while doing so. So yeah, i thought it was over, especially when she wrote back to my last ditch effort of asking her to watch a football game at a bar with me and friends by saying "I dont know what i'm doing Sunday yet", with absolutely nothing else. Pathetic and disrespectful imo, and i was done. That WAS until that SUNDAY came and she texts me at like 3pm asking what i'm doing for the game that night. She says im welcome to come watch it with her and her friends as they were actually going out for it. Anyway, we all went out and had a pretty nice time. We talked a good amount. Her IL maybe even grew a bit (even though u would think it would be high enough after a full fledged makeout session) as she started texting me that Monday. Then that wednesday she messages me on facebook private message talking about a status i had up. All good signs.

No way motherf**ker. Don't you know that you are friendzoned, you're an emotional tampon, you're being used, you're not getting sex, you're not getting any one on one time, which means she's comfy with you as a friend, not a lover. You didn't display any qualities of a lover, so there you go. Your damn fault. Do you really think being invited over where there's lots of other people around is good? F**k no.

I then ask her out for that Saturday night to which she rejects bc she already has plans with some friends. NO COUNTER. I felt awful. Either this girl had no common sense, or she simply does what she wants, when she wants. Who knows. She DID say that she would have invited me to hang with the friends but they are "new friends" and she isn't sure if that would be ok. I said yeah I understand. She then even IMed me on FB later in the night chit chatting, perhaps bc of feeling bad about turning me down, who knows. WHY COULDNT SHE COUNTER??

Easy. She's not attracted to you. She just wants to see how many hoops and mazes you'll run through for this so-called treasure!

So I let that weekend go by as well as an entire week to see if i maybe heard from her which i didn't at ALL. Nothing. But, giving her the benefit of the doubt with nothing to lose at all, I text her straight up this past Monday asking if she wanted to do drinks "one night this week" . . left the whole week open to see what she'd say. She agrees for Thursday for a date! So a few days ago we meet half way at a restaurant and end up doing dinner as well as drinks. Date is amazing just like first time. She's outgoing yeah, and that can sometimes hide how the date REALLY went, but no, i think she def enjoyed herself. Like the first date she was all dolled up too, big time. Bill comes -SAME SITUATION AS LAST TIME. I let it sit on the table for a minute this time too before putting my card out where she AGAIN said thank you, but NO OFFER!!! she doesn't make a lot of money and has a lot of expenses in her life (she rents, while i still live at home) Note: i'm 27 and she's 28.... but STILL, i just think that is VERY telling of a girl. Is she that high maintenance where its just EXPECTED that i pay for every single meal???

It's all downhill from here. I'm too late with that one, I can tell. She's not attracted to you as a lover, she's attracted to you as a provider! You provide all this free sh*t and this princess is getting a nice hammer beating from her football player boyfriend.

But the real story is what happened back in my car which was yet ANOTHER full fledged make out as well as me feeling her up down there and up top. Truly an amazing moment. A solid 10 minutes of it. She was smiling during it, enjoying it, etc.

How far are you willing to let this girl string you along dumb ass?

Its hard to figure out with her. She still is a bit into the party scene which turns me off a bit, and claims she has things she wants to do before she settles with a guy such as traveling and what not, but who knows. I mean is it possible this is a dinner wh0re? If it weren't for the makeout sessions I'd be done, but maybe there is more to it. Friday came and went and i didnt hear from her at all. I want her to come to ME now which in all honesty i feel like its not going to happen. Just weird. Not sure what the story is here, but i gotta admit, i do like her. She's fun to be around and she's just so beautiful. Bangable too.

Had you displayed qualities of a lover i.e. taking control, calling the shots, laying down the law, not letting the hopes of pu$$y control you, talking sexual, etc., you'd be laying down with and in her. But you didn't, so she's a dinner wh0re to YOU. You're a nice guy. The makeouts didn't mean sh*t. She's more concerned with losing your wallet than you. That is the only thing holding you two together. And it's the wrong thing.

Read between the lines. Now read your crimes.

You are guilty of failure to take the lead, giving up your power, dragging out a rejection, failure to spin plates, oneitis development, unauthorized use of a pedestal, constant chasing, displaying desperation, getting pu$$y whipped, becoming a friend, next day texting, wearing a skirt, and self castration.

I'm just gonna sentence you to indefinte lockup in Dumbass Farms, Roseypalm County, Texas.

Your princess is in another castle, and I hope you realized that sh*t before you read way down here.

Case closed. Get out of my court.

 

[DrPhysique]

Well, here's mine. There's this redhead girl that nobody understands. She's pretty hot and really smart. She has a fantastic body because she a dancer and works out.

Anyways, I don't think this girl has ever had a man in her life. She rejects any man that shows interest in her. At one event, a guy came up to her and said "Hi, I'm _____, what's your name?" and she punched him and walked away. One time, I was studying for an exam and we were both alone at the lunch area. I went up to her to ask her a question (she was studying for the same exam), she turned to me and looked at me with fear. It's like she was really scared or shocked. I ended up asking her and having a conversation with her, but it was a little weird.

One of my friends, who is basically "the guy" at our university right now made her tell some girl he was weird and she didn't like him. Being one of the top social guys is important if you want girls in college (read conquer your campus if you are in college).

Point is, this girl basically shows no emotion to guys. She has guy friends and goes out to parties and such, but it doesn't look like there's a way to actually get this girl right now.

Also, she randomly added me on twitter the other day, even if I hadn't talk to her for a long time. She doesn't follow many people either and I'm like the only one who isn't even her friend... Just something I found a little weird.

I actually asked 2 of my guy friends who know her a lot more than I do to try and set me up with her, but they both said I shouldn't even try because she's just too unpredictable and nobody understands her. I honestly feel like asking her close friends if they can explain her to me, just so I can understand her. Even if it ruins any possible hope I had to get her. haha

 

[floydb25]

You guys must like drama. Why bother with difficult, snobby, mean women? Here's the thing: you are embracing the same behaviors you complain about - then wonder why hot women act the way they do. Because you let them get away with it - simply because they're hot. This is why they're spoiled, crazy, stuck up, immature, etc, etc. It's learned behavior. Gotta make it clear that you won't tolerate this stuff, and aren't afraid to walk away - then actually follow through on it. They are used to getting their way, and acting however they want.

Always remember that people do things because they can, and are allowed to get away with it. If you don't let them - they won't do it. This is why you assert yourself, have standards, don't allow yourself to be used, and so forth. It only happens because you allow it.

 

[Smartone84]

Ok here's the conclusion... Hopefully all of you can take a few minutes to read the entire story before reading this below...


So after I last left off, I dont know every detail, but after playing it cool and some on and off talking to her, i DID end up asking her out again , this was on Tuesday January 24th. However this time it was going to be on MY terms. I wanted her to finally come to my town so i could show her around. She told me she was busy that week with extra work stuff (which i can verify was true) , but that next week she would be free. She didn't mention an actual day which kinda plssed me off. However the VERY next night she's texting me, asking how my day was, etc. Finally some real initiation on her part that eventually led to her asking me what day we're hanging out next week. Some good stuff. I asked for Friday and she said that was fine. It was a long wait but it'd be worth it as finally we'd be hanging out on a weekend night.

So the "big" night finally came this past Friday Feb 3rd (we talked on and off until then, and she was good too), and the date went GREAT. Just like the first two times. Such a nice girl, so beautiful, etc. Some REAL conversation too during the night, about relationships, and life. She even asked me if I wanted her to pay for some of dinner. Of course i wasnt going to let her, but hey, it was a change of pace from the first 2 times of her just sitting there. She said thank you again too of course.

Kino was present almost right from the start, from me putting my arm around her on the walk back to the car, to even holding hands at the bar we went to afterwards, it was very nice. I felt real progression finally. We even shared a kiss at a few points. At the end of the night we had our craziest makeout session yet for 25 minutes straight. Just insane. I finger blasted her too. At this point I figured either this girl A)would probably want to move forward with me eventually, or B) she's leading me on and playing me in the worst way a girl has ever played a guy in my day...


Now, for what I honestly feel is the conclusion. This whole time I'm thinking about valentines day and how that will be the real test to see if she's for real or not. If she rejects an offer for that date, then I'd think thats bs. I text her tonight asking her out, and this was her response...

"I wish you would have asked me a few minutes earlier. I just made plans for Galentine's Day with my girlfriends"

Pretty sad in my opinion.

She then COUNTERS with "Can we do something another day that week?"

I then nonchalantly write "I'll let u know"

her response: "I didn't know you wanted a Valentine. I feel honored."

*This girl is wacked out IMO and doesn't know what she's doing. We've been on several dates and have had good chemistry and a ton of make outs/etc. She even has the nerve to write a bold faced lie like "I wish you would have asked me a few minutes earlier". Give me a break. Then she counters in order to try and save me as a plate to get some more free meals down the road. In the meantime she'll be out next Tuesday with some other dude while i'm home alone bored stiff. Girls are even bigger players than guys i'll tell ya.

Side note: Funny stuff to go along with this... a week ago she has a status up saying how she "wishes" she had a valentine so she can give them some baked goods that she made. So much for that claim of wanting a valentine.

Its not so much about "Valetines Day" to me. Its more the principle. If this girl, 28 years old, ACTUALLY liked me, after our solid 2 month run together, with good dates through it all, she would be canceling on her stupid friends on this night, if those plans are even accurate.

 

[floydb25]

She still sounds like a ****. The vibe I'm getting is that she wants you to do all the work, and is feeding you crap to make it not seem so. It doesn't sound like she's all that into you. This does NOT mean she won't make out, have sex, go to dinner, hang out, etc. But I'm not getting any kind of sign that you're of high priority, she's crazy about you, can't wait to see you, is genuinely interested, etc. She sets them up (ie, lures you in) - then you knock em down (ie, you do everything). She even says you are interested in her; you want her to be your valentine. She isn't pursuing ****. She's not admitting to any interest; only responding to yours, and saying / knowing you are interested in her. She's even cancelling and delaying plans. She has ALL of the control.

I still say you are wasting time, and that she has low interest. When you can't figure someone out, you don't know where they stand, they blow hot and cold, they send mixed signals, play games, blow you off, cancel plans - it means their interest is low. This doesn't mean they won't keep you around.

 

[nismo-4]

She still sounds like a ****. The vibe I'm getting is that she wants you to do all the work, and is feeding you crap to make it not seem so. It doesn't sound like she's all that into you. This does NOT mean she won't make out, have sex, go to dinner, hang out, etc. But I'm not getting any kind of sign that you're of high priority, she's crazy about you, can't wait to see you, is genuinely interested, etc. She sets them up (ie, lures you in) - then you knock em down (ie, you do everything). She even says you are interested in her; you want her to be your valentine. She isn't pursuing ****. She's not admitting to any interest; only responding to yours, and saying / knowing you are interested in her. She's even cancelling and delaying plans. She has ALL of the control.

I still say you are wasting time, and that she has low interest. When you can't figure someone out, you don't know where they stand, they blow hot and cold, they send mixed signals, play games, blow you off, cancel plans - it means their interest is low. This doesn't mean they won't keep you around.

OP, DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO MOVE ON? YOU JUST DIDN'T LEARN YOUR LESSON!

Why the f**k are you dragging out this rejection? The reality is that her not wanting to be with you is the low interest factor (or lack thereof)! Read what I quoted!

Wake the f**k up! She knows she has you! She's stringing you along! Why the f**k did you go for the date setup via text? You use the phone for this, and don't linger! Stop that f**kin' crying! Judge nismo has no sympathy for your ass! Why don't I have sympathy for you? Easy, because you caused this whole epic fail by yourself! Understand that sh*t right now! Stop getting upset about this girl! Beyond a reasonable doubt, it's spilled milk! So stop the f**kin' whining! I'm about to throw the book at you! Your bond hearing is full of fail!

Therefore, I'm gonna sentence you to another 2 weeks in prison. I'm also charging you with being an orbiter and a beta male. You are hereby ordered to read that sticky thread that I wrote. And you need to understand it very well. And maybe you won't get sentenced for these crimes that I initially charged you with. That's my ruling!

This bond hearing is over. Bailiffs, escort him back to his cell. I'm so f**kin' disappointed. Why? Because this damn case was answered in the last sentence of his post! :cuss:

Some people just don't f**kin' get it. Some people just don't f**kin' listen.

You can lead a horse to the water, but you can't make it drink. True sh*t. :yes:

 

[The_411]

Why take a girl out to dinner unless you're at date 5/6/7 etc?

First dates need to be very low key/casual and they need to be brief.

Sure the woman enjoyed your company for two hours. Guess what? Every minute spent over 30/45 minutes where you are not intimate is one minute further away from ever getting laid by her and one minute closer to the friend zone.

You bought her time and she had a good time so you will buy her more free meals in the future.

Make her earn dinner as a reward for good behavior. Don't reward someone for doing nothing or looking attractive.

Understand that to take on the prize mentality the woman should be buying you gifts, dinner, and at the very least splitting costs.

By constantly buying dinner etc you are basically saying she is a prize and you are not worthy of her company without bribing her.

All that does is create flase expectations and ultimately the guy who values himself more than her will end up having his way with her while you're still supplicating and trying squeeze out a kiss, not to mention you're out 80-100 bucks or more.

 

[Smartone84]

Nismo, you sound like an idiot bro, and i'm not afraid to say that. Who are you to bash me into the ground like that? I can't even comprehend half the garbage you write anyway. You act like I was some sort of full fledged afc that made all sorts of CATASTROPHIC mistakes. You also don't seem to know how to read. You wrote originally how she doesn't want me sexually, yet on all 3 of ours dates we had amazing makeout sessions that got bigger each time, including the last one which included even more messing around.

While I admit that I could have definitely played it better in some ways, never did I ever truly act desperate to this girl IMO. I would simply ask her out ,and she would agree. I kept up with it all because she was nice, fun to hang out with, beautiful, and yes, in some ways, i thought there was a real chance for me and her, especially on this last date when she agreed to come out by me on the weekend. So I paid for dinner again, that DOES NOT mean that she's some tramp that u kick to the curb. There was kino, there was good convo, there was good times. But the problem was that in between these dates the communication was not that of two people who were trying to get to know each other better as each day passes, and not that of a girl who was super into the guy. On Sunday it even took her 7 hours to respond to a text of mine. Absolute weirdness. Thats stuff that shouldn't be happening anymore at this point. So with the response to the valentines day text, it basically confirms my fears that were in the back of my mind, and those are that she likely doesn't really want anything serious.

So chill out man, I did nothing but show this girl that I'm a good quality guy, and to be honest, I'm ok with walking away, because I know for absolute sure that its her loss, and if only she knew what she was missing. I would treat her great, but apparently she just wants to spin plates and party it up til who knows what age. I don't care. I do however think its sad that she got desperate and counter offered me after the whole "I wish you would have asked me a few minutes earlier" line. Just awful.

Well now she can get someone else to get her dinners, bc it ain't going to be me anymore, short of her crawling back to me, as in literally.

 

[TopGun2000]

she has low IL and you care too much. it's a lost course.

 

[window]

if a girl doesnt accept your date idea or sais she cant and then doesnt come up with another suggestion then she is out. The asking you around to hang out with friends is her way of demonstrating high value to her friends by bringing her puppy dog along. What you are doing right here is noting all the red flags but your high interest is trying to rationalise them when in reality she isnt interested any more. If she was a hb5 would you care ?

 

[Smartone84]

She DID counter though, thats her only saving grace. But is her rejection of me for vday already a big enough sign to just forget it is the question

 

[Zunder]

Nismo, you sound like an idiot bro, and i'm not afraid to say that. Who are you to bash me into the ground like that? I can't even comprehend half the garbage you write anyway. You act like I was some sort of full fledged afc that made all sorts of CATASTROPHIC mistakes. You also don't seem to know how to read. You wrote originally how she doesn't want me sexually, yet on all 3 of ours dates we had amazing makeout sessions that got bigger each time, including the last one which included even more messing around.

While I admit that I could have definitely played it better in some ways, never did I ever truly act desperate to this girl IMO. I would simply ask her out ,and she would agree. I kept up with it all because she was nice, fun to hang out with, beautiful, and yes, in some ways, i thought there was a real chance for me and her, especially on this last date when she agreed to come out by me on the weekend. So I paid for dinner again, that DOES NOT mean that she's some tramp that u kick to the curb. There was kino, there was good convo, there was good times. But the problem was that in between these dates the communication was not that of two people who were trying to get to know each other better as each day passes, and not that of a girl who was super into the guy. On Sunday it even took her 7 hours to respond to a text of mine. Absolute weirdness. Thats stuff that shouldn't be happening anymore at this point. So with the response to the valentines day text, it basically confirms my fears that were in the back of my mind, and those are that she likely doesn't really want anything serious.

So chill out man, I did nothing but show this girl that I'm a good quality guy, and to be honest, I'm ok with walking away, because I know for absolute sure that its her loss, and if only she knew what she was missing. I would treat her great, but apparently she just wants to spin plates and party it up til who knows what age. I don't care. I do however think its sad that she got desperate and counter offered me after the whole "I wish you would have asked me a few minutes earlier" line. Just awful.

Well now she can get someone else to get her dinners, bc it ain't going to be me anymore, short of her crawling back to me, as in literally.

You idiot. Nismo was bang on. You on the other hand are an imbecile - but you will learn. I just got played by a chick off POF myself. Was two timing me, and Ive possiblly caught an STD off the bytch.
DO NOT CHASE ever. Don't do it. I am sure you are a good guy - just realise she is a silly kunt and not worth your time.

 

[The_411]

I don't see a counter offer from her and about 4 sentences in you indciate that you thought was a party girl out for a free meal. Guess what ...you were right... so why did you go against your instincts?

Most guys usually have alarms go off and are usually right the difference is between the guys that know when those alarms go off that it's a lost cause and time to scoot and those who create a delusion that they can win her over or she'll see the light etc.

Nothing to be ashamed of every single guy at one time or another has ignored the alarms and pressed on against their gut instinct and they learned that it's a good idea to trust your gut.

 

[backbreaker]

op you are retarded


dude if you actually believe her B S ass excuse for not meeting up with you on valentines day, wow.
the whole fvcking point of valenties day is to be with a valaneine. she is going to cancel a date to be with her girlfriends? unless she's a lesbo that's bull****

no, she cancelled the date because you aren't her first option and she has valentines day **** already lined up. and your nose is just too open to see it.

then you have the nerve to come here and bash nismo when he's just trying to help you out.l nismp knows more about the game than a lot of cats here and you'd be wise to listen to him.

dude fvcking look at you. you are taking a 2 hour date and breaking the **** down like you are on CSI or some ****, and you honefstly wonder what the problem is. IT'S YOU! YOU CARE TO GOD DAMN MUCH.

women aren't freaking jigsaw puzzles you don't figure them out. they either like you or they don't. she doesn't like you. at least not like i want to fvck him like you.

 

[MikeBrown30]

http://paultheking.wordpress.com/2011/02/26/guaranteed-way-to-get-no-sex-from-a-girl/