The Girl At Work

[THEGAME2010]

I am going to keep this post short.

I am 23, the girl at work is older than me (my friends say shes in her 30's but i think shes 25)

There's a woman at work who I noticed back in november. I chatted with her and kept it friendly. Around January I saw her leaving for lunch and asked if she wanted to join me and my friends, but she kinda blew me off. She later emailed me and said she was shy, and that was nice to ask her.

A month later I asked her out for lunch again but she had an excuse & didn't suggest another day. I gave up on her since then, but I still chatted with her to be polite.

Today she emailed me and said that I look very nice in glasses. Does she like me or something now? Was that a friendly e-mail or should I ask her to lunch again in a couple of weeks?

 

[Tiguere]

Reply with thanks and move on.

 

[FinalWay]

third time is usually a charm but not in your case. do what tiguere said...nice and simple

 

[nismo-4]

Reply with thanks and move on.

^This.

And this is a workplace encounter? Oh, you gotta understand that that might come back on you and jeopardize your employment.

OP Don't take that kind of stuff as high interest. She's just being nice. Accept this fa- Hey wait a goddamn minute!

You were just being friendly?! That's the kind of interest you showed to the girl in the first place. You waited too late to escalate and now you might masturbate. You shoulda built attraction back in November. Since you didn't, you just won the booby prize of a one way pass to Friends Only Estates, Missouri. Now yo- Oh naw! Hell naw!

You asked her out AGAIN after she already said no, and after the fact you MADE her say no?! Ooh, now you're traveling to Creep City, Nevada!

If you gave up on her, you'd be doing no contact. Stop trying to develop a oneitis, it ain't worth it. Get her off your mind and go talk to different women. BTW don't ask this girl out again in a couple of weeks. You'll seem desperate to a greater degree. Let it go. It's for your own good.

Case closed. Papa Nismo wants you to post some results (good or bad) with different women.

 

[zekko]

Today she emailed me and said that I look very nice in glasses. Does she like me or something now? Was that a friendly e-mail or should I ask her to lunch again in a couple of weeks?

It may be that she enjoyed the attention you gave her even if she wasn't interested. Now that you've given up, she wants to get you on the hook again. Sort of like making you an orbiter. It's up to you what you do from here on, but personally I wouldn't want to get sucked into her attention trap.

 

[Capodeciña]

You waited too late to escalate and now you might masturbate.

Had me in stitches. Stolen!


Anyway, to the OP. It is as if she's giving you the run-around, when you try to capitalize, she blows you off, then gives you a poxy reason of why, saying she was shy in emails.

Thats basic cat n mouse antics. Forget her and don't move on, rather Engage other prospects in you're work environment, if she see's she is not included, she'll get jealous and want the attention she rightfully thinks she should have.

If she wasn't interested atall, she wouldn't even bother e-mailing you for your escalation efforts. Get the ball out of her court and turn you're office upside down bro.

 

[Kailex]

Today she emailed me and said that I look very nice in glasses. Does she like me or something now? Was that a friendly e-mail or should I ask her to lunch again in a couple of weeks?

Ooooooooooooooh.. an EMAIL!??!

RED ALERT, RED ALERT, ALL HANDS ON DECK.



(Incoming Allen Iverson impression)

We talkin' about an email.... an email... not a phone call, not in person... but in an email.... an EMAIL... not a compliment in person so that you can hear it... but an email... an E-EFFING-MAIL... during work hours...not something face to face... but an email.

(Allen Iverson mode: OFF)

Look, she was probably bored and remembered this nice guy at work who had asked her out twice. Don't get excited. If she had your phone number, she would have texted you out of boredom instead. Move on. You asked twice, she turned you down twice. That's a flake. She's not interested and with an email, she's feigning interest.

Some others said to email back a "Thanks".
I wouldn't be even doing THAT, specially on company email. I'd just let it slide, delete it and continue on working.

She's not worth your time.

 

[nismo-4]

Ooooooooooooooh.. an EMAIL!??!

RED ALERT, RED ALERT, ALL HANDS ON DECK.



(Incoming Allen Iverson impression)

We talkin' about an email.... an email... not a phone call, not in person... but in an email.... an EMAIL... not a compliment in person so that you can hear it... but an email... an E-EFFING-MAIL... during work hours...not something face to face... but an email.

(Allen Iverson mode: OFF)

Look, she was probably bored and remembered this nice guy at work who had asked her out twice. Don't get excited. If she had your phone number, she would have texted you out of boredom instead. Move on. You asked twice, she turned you down twice. That's a flake. She's not interested and with an email, she's feigning interest.

Some others said to email back a "Thanks".
I wouldn't be even doing THAT, specially on company email. I'd just let it slide, delete it and continue on working.

She's not worth your time.

You've been here for 2 months and know the deal! I'd rep for you here if I could, but I gotta spread some before I can do that!

Seriously OP, it's more trouble than it's worth. Had you understood my sig and applied it in this scenario, you woulda had a much better chance of getting a date here. But you didn't.

You need to stop thinking about this girl. She's just not that into you. Sorry. Stop crying over spilled milk. Get over it.

Don't you realize this girl could press sexual harrassment or rape charges on you and that could f**k you up in the long run, as you are on the job? How? Put two and two together. All because of a woman.

No girl is worth catching a oneitis for. They're just like computers, cell phones, and video game systems. You think you got a good one when you get one but a better model comes along shortly after.

After saying that, I know this girl ain't worth all that trouble, after she BLATANTLY did you a favor by allowing you to keep your job, showing you she was flaky, and letting you know that you need not spend your time or your goddamn money on her! You lose in the short term, but win in the long term!

 

[Smartone84]

aFcs would write back asking her out again

ask yourself what you are. I'm guessing you dont wanna be an afc

then DONT do that.

"haha thanks" is the most this attention wh0re should get

 

[Iceberg]

Don't you realize this girl could press sexual harrassment or rape charges on you and that could f**k you up in the long run, as you are on the job? How? Put two and two together. All because of a woman.

After saying that, I know this girl ain't worth all that trouble, after she BLATANTLY did you a favor by allowing you to keep your job, showing you she was flaky, and letting you know that you need not spend your time or your goddamn money on her! You lose in the short term, but win in the long term!

I agree with your overall point that he should forget this girl. She just wants attention.

But I think you're being a little dramatic with the whole "ruin your career" "sexual harassment/rape charges" thing. He's 23, so I think it's safe to assume that he's not the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. He's some young guy in an entry or mid-level job. I'm 29, have banged various coworkers over the course of my 5-year career, and haven't been sued or fired yet.

Of course I wouldn't recommend workplace dating...but it's not going to send his life down the drain either. Moral of the story...I refuse to let work dictate who i will not date. If I see a girl and I like her, I'm not gonna be like "Ah I can't date this cool girl because she works here!!"

Ya know?

 

[THEGAME2010]

Thanks for your advice guys. I will just keep cool, and see what happens. I'm not going to ask her out for lunch again unless she asks me.

 

[cykeson]

Hey guy, i'm actually in a similar situation at work too. Maybe you can obtain other people's insight also through my post. http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=171830