The Full Story

[soul71]

As per my other thread, I figured I should post the full story for some more specific advice.

Ok, so I've known this girl for ages now, just seen her once every few months really. But recently I started seeing her more often.

Basically for the past 5 weeks I've been around at her house for Saturday and/or sunday for like a good 5 hours (I really should have said I had other stuff to do and gone to do other stuff - I know I was too "easy" - but I was enjoying it so much at the time that I didn't want to go).

More or less, we've been unnoficially going out for a while.

Then she goes to me on msn the other day, "Everything seems so one sided, I still see you more as friend to me". This was not in a final sense though, she still initiated conversation etc. My feeling is that she is attracted, but not enough for anything else to happen... Any advice here would be GREATLY appreciated.

So... (this is what I've been told by various girls)... I'm confident, I'm very attractive, etc...

I've been doing the whole kino thing, but not the ****y and funny, and not really the "stay away" bit... I'm still pretty n00b at this, but anyway.

Alright - so I'm infatuated.. working on that

So should I just go apply the whole ****y+funny thing? I'm pretty clear on what I need to do, and I've been practicing, but what I REALLY need help on is the "stay away" bit...

So lets say next time I organise a date with her (after exams, I don't want to fvck these ones up.. so I'm trying to remove distractions) what should I do after the date? Just play it cold for a while? Don't call or talk to her for a few days? What do you DJ's think I should do?

 

[08aisaac]

The idea of DJism is that you do whatever you want. If you have fun at her house then hang out. So maybe you should go back to being friends. just try to get a different girl. If you stay friends then she might eventually start developing feelings for you. If not then just stay friends. I don't really suggest C&F because she likes you for you.

Lol I probaly sound like an AFC but just as long as you still have a life without her. But if you just stop hanging with her then she might think you are mad and that is major AFC. Just tone down the time yu hang with her. She probaly thinks of you as a friend because you spend so much time with her. Just spend less time with her and start acting more like a bf around her and you should be good.

 

[soul71]

haha, I know she likes me, but I just need to develope those feelings.

I've always been a little ****y around her, I think maybe I should just increase it a notch. Just to show how little I care :crackup:

Having a life other than her is no issue, I've always got a few girls on the go I just particularly like this one. Aaaaaaanyways thanks for the advice mate, I'm lookin' forward to hearing from others

Edit: Can you (or anyone) describe how to act more like a BF around her?and how much should I limit the time I spend with her?

 

[immrtlwun]

I was recently re-reading the bible, and ran into a little something that works like a charm for me. Under the conversation heading, Deaglecalw talks about the crook. It's when you're walking next to this girl, crook your arm and more than likely, she will take it, and from there you can get the arm around the waist or something a little more boyfriend-ish. Give that a shot, it works pretty well for me.
Also, somewhere on this site somebody gave a few tips on getting past her defenses by acting like a boyfriend and there were some great tips in there. Do a search or something.

As far as spending time with her, i agree with 08aisaac. If you're having a good time with her spend as much time as you want, because then you become associated with being there when she's having a good time. But if you start acting too friendish, get out quick.

 

[soul71]

Can you help define the difference between acting "friendish" and acting "bfish"?

I did a search but it didn't come up with alot.

What are some key differences/points between the two?

 

[soul71]

Bump.

 

[soul71]

thanks dudes

well it's a bit of a tricksy situation, because I have total and utter confidence with her no matter what, i've lost count of how many times we've hooked up and whatever, so it's no scary thing

so any moves i make have kinda already been made.. anyway.. il just keep "acting like her bf" and see how it goes