Frames in the case of NLP are merely filters through belief flows.
For instance, if you're highly religious in Christianity, your "frame of belief" will lead your life through the filter of Christianity. You would read the bible. Withhold sex until marriage (most likely). Generally be nice to people. Devote time to church. Attempt to bring other's to the word of God. The specifics of "why we believe" are varied. Some would say environment during childhood, some would say innate spirit, others would advocate experiences. All of them relevant. Nonetheless we have beliefs on what life is, as it's our perceptual filter.
If you're from a wealthy family, your beliefs innately drive you toward replicating their success. You'd be a saver. You would know how to invest properly. You would be apprised of the investing world at a much younger age than your peers.
Even some E-books, some of which you've purchased, focus on Frames. David D talks about Frames, or Beliefs. Beliefs are much more worldly, a frame is the individual situation.
For example, you may have the philosophy of taking control of situations and taking responsibility for outcomes, but haven't internalized the belief so that you TRULY believe it. The Frame doesn't carry.
In alot of cases, guys get blown up by women because...
-they don't have control
-the frame is skewed toward her (i.e. prizing her over you)
The frame/belief scenario coordinates action, as it is self reflective. If you see the world through BELIEF 'a', you then project it back on to yourself, and act in accordance with that image. So if a woman is a prize to you, or THE ONE, even if you've never spoken a word to her, you'll see yourself as lesser, and act that way. Flip it, if you see her as another run-of-the-mill woman, then you act normal, like you, and can come from a place of logic and make normal judgement calls as you would any other day. And if she likes you, then it's obvious, and if she doesn't, you just walk away.
--------------------------
So what is the Frame of Control?
It's a belief. It's THE belief that you control WHERE you are, WHO you are, WHO you are with, WHAT enters your life, WHAT exits your life, WHAT you feel, WHAT you do not feel, HOW you feel. It covers the basic questions...
WHERE
WHO
WHAT
WHY
WHEN
HOW
You can do but 1 thing: control Choice.
If you begin by ACCEPTING the responsibility of choice, you can then exhibit control. Control to stay and talk with a woman, or to walk away. Control to walk up to her, own the situation, and walk away with a number, or walk to your car with her.
This is INNER GAME projected ******D, because if you believe in your mind, your heart of hearts that you alone were stuck here, shot here, or built here for a purpose, and its up to you to make something of it, then you begin dealing in reality and accepting the responsibility of control. It does not mean forcing your will upon people; it means make a choice, sticking with it, and moving on if it doesn't match between 2 people.
Examples...
Let's say you're out, you're at a Day Spa buying a Gift Certificate for your mother or sister. You run into a beautiful young lady who works there. You don't know who she is; you could make lots of assumptions, and label her. Prize her up. Think she has a BF. Figure she's a hore because she pierces her nose or tattoos her back. But why go that far?
Own the frame. It's your life. Feel the situation. There's no "specific" outcome. Only the maximization of that particular situation. You can't know the outcome because you don't even know her name, where she lives, if she's clean, dirty, fake, broke, married, has a child and so on. Don't get so romantic on her just because her looks leads you to think/feel a whole host of things.
The control of the frame means ACCEPTING or REJECTING people who treat or don't treat you well. So you just talk, like she's a normal person, because she is.
The Frustration of the AFC, or any guy for that matter.
The AFC, or any guy who is upset over women, has 2 real basic issues, the Frame of Control, and his own plight with the world. The Frame of Control is simple, it's developing the belief that you own and control your reality, your feelings, your emotions, your actions, and your decisions. You choose to still engage a flaky girl. You choose the type and quality of women you date. You choose if you have sex with her more or less. (Of course, if sex is a given, and you'll have it readily, then it's her right of refusal).
The same piece is the plight with the world. Reality is as it is. It exists whether humans are here or not. It's in the mind where people create problems for themselves, because they perceive the world a certain way, OR, expect it to be another way. And this means you're wrong, the world isn't. Other people might be wrong, but it's also your call to put up with what that person does or says.
If you have an unruly woman, or wife for that matter, you're not spiritually or cosmically ordained to be with her, unless you're Siamese twins, also. You don't have to tolerate anything in life, really. You can shed the emotion, as much as you desire to block out or ignore it.
Tell me, if you were beemed onto a beautiful planet, not other beings, and just had to live, exist, and go on. What would be wrong? There's no people? What more would you need? Aside from working on "surviving", nothing really. Sure, a companion would be fun, but you'd spend your WHOLE life exploring the planet, inventing better methods to get by, discovering new food, etc.
Now advance that, a few people are slung ahead to live with you. And then more. And then more. The planet has all we need to live, and the systems are in place so you don't have to raise chickens, or hunt, or gather; you just do what you're good at and you can get what it is you want. If the world values what you do highly, you get paid alot. If not, you get paid a little. But all the craziness of the world is created by the mixing of a whole bunch of EGOs, and different systems of BELIEF to support those egos, because in the peace and serenity of life, NO EGO exists. It's the minute others pop up this little devil comes forward trying dominate, one up, prevent, protect, deride, socialize, mix, mingle, down, up, befriend, OTHER EGOs.
So the world itself is fine. It's the people that aren't. But people in general want it to be better. What they must ask is, Can we as people BE BETTER? It's not the system, but the individual players IN THAT SYSTEM which determines the running of it. So by and large, more bad people or bad wants overrun the good wants or good people.
What you have to do is not be effected by it, much like knowing everybody is an agent, it's easier to ACCEPT a person as they are and deal with that, than DENY it and try to get around it. Some guys "right off" girls with excuses...she's too pretty, she was busy, her family, her friends, her grades. Bottom line: anything we want, we do. Nothing really ever gets in the way of that. So if she likes you, she won't flake. If she's worthy, she won't be a bytch. And so on. Deal with what you see, not with how you think it should be, or how it was, etc. Don't be so dreamy.
--------------------------
It's a belief that..."I control my life. I control my feelings." You learn, what it is you want. If you say, "I want people who enjoy being around me, and I reject those who don't," then if you're out with a woman, or meet someone like that, NEXTing them isn't about EGO preservation, it's about controlling what it is you want and don't want. Sure, people won't like you, that's the way it is. But you don't have to stand to tolerate or make excuses for it. In fact, MAKE FUN of it. I love when people can make up reasons NOT to like someone.
If you go the club or the bar, or the mall, it's because you WANT to, NOT because you're motivated to. If your WANT is in it, so's the PASSION, so are you 100% of it.
You recognize before you what you're viewing. Seeing the 'game', knowing the game, means understanding the players, the relationships, and what's going, and not being part of it. Not being subject to those rules. Most falter BECAUSE of that. Within the game exist rules, and by the rules you follow you reap rewards. However, it hinders those who aren't "true" players in the sense of the word.
A-Unit
For instance, if you're highly religious in Christianity, your "frame of belief" will lead your life through the filter of Christianity. You would read the bible. Withhold sex until marriage (most likely). Generally be nice to people. Devote time to church. Attempt to bring other's to the word of God. The specifics of "why we believe" are varied. Some would say environment during childhood, some would say innate spirit, others would advocate experiences. All of them relevant. Nonetheless we have beliefs on what life is, as it's our perceptual filter.
If you're from a wealthy family, your beliefs innately drive you toward replicating their success. You'd be a saver. You would know how to invest properly. You would be apprised of the investing world at a much younger age than your peers.
Even some E-books, some of which you've purchased, focus on Frames. David D talks about Frames, or Beliefs. Beliefs are much more worldly, a frame is the individual situation.
For example, you may have the philosophy of taking control of situations and taking responsibility for outcomes, but haven't internalized the belief so that you TRULY believe it. The Frame doesn't carry.
In alot of cases, guys get blown up by women because...
-they don't have control
-the frame is skewed toward her (i.e. prizing her over you)
The frame/belief scenario coordinates action, as it is self reflective. If you see the world through BELIEF 'a', you then project it back on to yourself, and act in accordance with that image. So if a woman is a prize to you, or THE ONE, even if you've never spoken a word to her, you'll see yourself as lesser, and act that way. Flip it, if you see her as another run-of-the-mill woman, then you act normal, like you, and can come from a place of logic and make normal judgement calls as you would any other day. And if she likes you, then it's obvious, and if she doesn't, you just walk away.
--------------------------
So what is the Frame of Control?
It's a belief. It's THE belief that you control WHERE you are, WHO you are, WHO you are with, WHAT enters your life, WHAT exits your life, WHAT you feel, WHAT you do not feel, HOW you feel. It covers the basic questions...
WHERE
WHO
WHAT
WHY
WHEN
HOW
You can do but 1 thing: control Choice.
If you begin by ACCEPTING the responsibility of choice, you can then exhibit control. Control to stay and talk with a woman, or to walk away. Control to walk up to her, own the situation, and walk away with a number, or walk to your car with her.
This is INNER GAME projected ******D, because if you believe in your mind, your heart of hearts that you alone were stuck here, shot here, or built here for a purpose, and its up to you to make something of it, then you begin dealing in reality and accepting the responsibility of control. It does not mean forcing your will upon people; it means make a choice, sticking with it, and moving on if it doesn't match between 2 people.
Examples...
Let's say you're out, you're at a Day Spa buying a Gift Certificate for your mother or sister. You run into a beautiful young lady who works there. You don't know who she is; you could make lots of assumptions, and label her. Prize her up. Think she has a BF. Figure she's a hore because she pierces her nose or tattoos her back. But why go that far?
Own the frame. It's your life. Feel the situation. There's no "specific" outcome. Only the maximization of that particular situation. You can't know the outcome because you don't even know her name, where she lives, if she's clean, dirty, fake, broke, married, has a child and so on. Don't get so romantic on her just because her looks leads you to think/feel a whole host of things.
The control of the frame means ACCEPTING or REJECTING people who treat or don't treat you well. So you just talk, like she's a normal person, because she is.
The Frustration of the AFC, or any guy for that matter.
The AFC, or any guy who is upset over women, has 2 real basic issues, the Frame of Control, and his own plight with the world. The Frame of Control is simple, it's developing the belief that you own and control your reality, your feelings, your emotions, your actions, and your decisions. You choose to still engage a flaky girl. You choose the type and quality of women you date. You choose if you have sex with her more or less. (Of course, if sex is a given, and you'll have it readily, then it's her right of refusal).
The same piece is the plight with the world. Reality is as it is. It exists whether humans are here or not. It's in the mind where people create problems for themselves, because they perceive the world a certain way, OR, expect it to be another way. And this means you're wrong, the world isn't. Other people might be wrong, but it's also your call to put up with what that person does or says.
If you have an unruly woman, or wife for that matter, you're not spiritually or cosmically ordained to be with her, unless you're Siamese twins, also. You don't have to tolerate anything in life, really. You can shed the emotion, as much as you desire to block out or ignore it.
Tell me, if you were beemed onto a beautiful planet, not other beings, and just had to live, exist, and go on. What would be wrong? There's no people? What more would you need? Aside from working on "surviving", nothing really. Sure, a companion would be fun, but you'd spend your WHOLE life exploring the planet, inventing better methods to get by, discovering new food, etc.
Now advance that, a few people are slung ahead to live with you. And then more. And then more. The planet has all we need to live, and the systems are in place so you don't have to raise chickens, or hunt, or gather; you just do what you're good at and you can get what it is you want. If the world values what you do highly, you get paid alot. If not, you get paid a little. But all the craziness of the world is created by the mixing of a whole bunch of EGOs, and different systems of BELIEF to support those egos, because in the peace and serenity of life, NO EGO exists. It's the minute others pop up this little devil comes forward trying dominate, one up, prevent, protect, deride, socialize, mix, mingle, down, up, befriend, OTHER EGOs.
So the world itself is fine. It's the people that aren't. But people in general want it to be better. What they must ask is, Can we as people BE BETTER? It's not the system, but the individual players IN THAT SYSTEM which determines the running of it. So by and large, more bad people or bad wants overrun the good wants or good people.
What you have to do is not be effected by it, much like knowing everybody is an agent, it's easier to ACCEPT a person as they are and deal with that, than DENY it and try to get around it. Some guys "right off" girls with excuses...she's too pretty, she was busy, her family, her friends, her grades. Bottom line: anything we want, we do. Nothing really ever gets in the way of that. So if she likes you, she won't flake. If she's worthy, she won't be a bytch. And so on. Deal with what you see, not with how you think it should be, or how it was, etc. Don't be so dreamy.
--------------------------
It's a belief that..."I control my life. I control my feelings." You learn, what it is you want. If you say, "I want people who enjoy being around me, and I reject those who don't," then if you're out with a woman, or meet someone like that, NEXTing them isn't about EGO preservation, it's about controlling what it is you want and don't want. Sure, people won't like you, that's the way it is. But you don't have to stand to tolerate or make excuses for it. In fact, MAKE FUN of it. I love when people can make up reasons NOT to like someone.
If you go the club or the bar, or the mall, it's because you WANT to, NOT because you're motivated to. If your WANT is in it, so's the PASSION, so are you 100% of it.
You recognize before you what you're viewing. Seeing the 'game', knowing the game, means understanding the players, the relationships, and what's going, and not being part of it. Not being subject to those rules. Most falter BECAUSE of that. Within the game exist rules, and by the rules you follow you reap rewards. However, it hinders those who aren't "true" players in the sense of the word.
A-Unit