The follow up date question

[drellum]

Hi guys.....

Thanks for any advice in advance.

Been single for about 4 months after a couple of LTRs so to say I am rusty on the dating scene is an understatement.
I've been reading these boards for quite a while and it's been a real eye opener....Great advice also.

So this is the thing.....

I've been dating quite a bit....No problems there. I think I've equipped myself with all the necessary information to make breakthroughs with the initial approaches. No issues with confidence etc.

This week I have 3 dates penned in.

My issue is with the follow up date. Keeping the momentum going or progressing.

Just looking for a bit of advice on keeping the initial interest burning and developing a physical relationship (All sounds a bit naive but been out of the game for a long while). I guess the projected bravado on the initial pickup is not transferred to the follow up. I'm generally not very confident and a bit shy.

Thanks again

D

 

[Martel]

Hey drellum, I'm in a similar situation as you and will try and answer. I had a bad experience and went years without dating, but have been back on the scene for about 6 months. It sounds like you just need a few successes to bump up your confidence and everything else will fall into place. Now I'm no superpimp, but maybe these points will help.

1. Have as many first dates as you can. You seem to have no problem with this part.

2. Turn as many of these first dates into second dates as possible. I'll ask a chick out on a second date even if the first one didn't go so well as people can be shy and awkward meeting someone new and tend to open up on a second date. My goal is to get as much dating experience as I can. However, I won't ask a chick out if she's really into me after a first date and the feeling isn't mutual.

3. Get creative with your date ideas. Have fun doing things you may not normally do.

4. When on a date I'm not particularily interested in keeping her interest level up. I'm focused on having a good time and finding out more about her. There are a ton of women out there who aren't a good fit for whatever reason. In my opinion, they shouldn't concern you, find that ones that are a fit.

5. As posted all over this site, keep improving yourself. When it comes to dates, experiment a little on each date. Throw in some kino, or go for a kiss when you normally wouldn't have, change the conversation topics up, etc. Briefly reflect after the date on what went well, what didn't, what you learned about yourself and your date.

 

[drellum]

Thanks for the reply.

Think the truth of the matter is I'm still not over the ex and I'm making comparisons.

The whole dating thing is something I feel I should be doing rather than letting it evolve. I build up the idea of the date in my mind and they rarely deliver on expectations.

After this week I might step back a bit. Think I might just be coming across as a bit desperate after years away from the scene.

D

 

[BigT]

It took me a couple of months of moping around before I could even bring myself to go back out again. So you're certainly progressing with more ease than I am!

Attraction is not something you can force. It sounds to me that you are trying to force yourself to be interested in these girls.

Perhaps you may benefit from a fwb situation until you find the right girl.

Hi guys.....

Thanks for any advice in advance.

Been single for about 4 months after a couple of LTRs so to say I am rusty on the dating scene is an understatement.
I've been reading these boards for quite a while and it's been a real eye opener....Great advice also.

So this is the thing.....

I've been dating quite a bit....No problems there. I think I've equipped myself with all the necessary information to make breakthroughs with the initial approaches. No issues with confidence etc.

This week I have 3 dates penned in.

My issue is with the follow up date. Keeping the momentum going or progressing.

Just looking for a bit of advice on keeping the initial interest burning and developing a physical relationship (All sounds a bit naive but been out of the game for a long while). I guess the projected bravado on the initial pickup is not transferred to the follow up. I'm generally not very confident and a bit shy.

Thanks again

D