The flaw in my game.... Being sexual.

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

Initiating..... That's the hard part.. Girls TRY to give me hugs all the time.. Every time i'm with them, but most of the time I just brush it off, or tell them i don't want one. I don't have a problem putting my hand on their shoulder, or leading them through a crowd, or playfully punching them and stuff..... But the more personal it gets.. The more uncomfortable I get, and if i'm uncomfortable, then the girl sure as hell is.

One of my best friends, she's a girl btw, and i'm not attracted to her at all. She used to date one of my good friends, and she was describing me and him as foils as eachother. We get the same job done. We're charismatic, funny, likable, confident. People just like us. They're gravitated towards us. The difference is that she said we're too different extremes. He's OVERLY sexually, while I'm not sexual at all. ALL he talks about is sex, and I eject from the conversation when it's brought up. He screwed a girl at CHURCH CAMP, and i've yet to even kiss a girl. He's the definition of a player, and i'm well not. Not that i'm super afc or anything..

I feel like if i do hug someone I'm attracted to it'll make an impact because i rarely hug anyone. One of my other friends, that's a girl. I hugged her the other day just to see her reaction, and she was like, "Wow, that really felt good. What's gotten into you?" I'm not attracted to her at all.. I just wanted to see what the reaction would be.

I guess i'll have to try it out on girls i am attracted to

You're thinking too much. Girls pick that up. They're liking you enough but they can tell when a guy is in his head calculating rather than being in the moment. You're doing well. I'd suggest you pick a night to be bold and just do whatever it is you really want to do irregardless of calculations of whether a hug here and there will benefit you in some meta-game. Screw the meta-game for now, that's putting the cart before the horse. Watch the good, the bad, and the ugly and decide to be Clint Eastwood with your expressions and (pretty much semi-amusement) reactions for one night, for example. But DON'T tell the girls what you're doing, they won't know, they'll just know something cool and new is going on with you. You'll see a difference in how they act around you if you're doing it well that night.

Women aren't counting how many times you hug girls, they'll just notice girls like to touch you (yes!) but if you're refusing kino a lot, it can really shut them down. Also, don't compare yourself to your friend or anyone else for that matter. You're putting him mentally SUPERIOR to you and it'll show as well. Women have extremely acute radar which is as foreign to most guys as logic is to women. After you get experience and relaxed with women, from what you've said, you'll be one of the rare guys that will be able to see ALL of the dynamics going on in social situations, better than all of the girls and 99% of the guys.

It's pretty wild when you're 100% outside of your head and can see clearly all of the interactions going on and know precisely how to get what you want.

 

[Jokerlsk]

Well i've got this weekend off to study for finals.... 2 of my best friends went to the beach for the weekend, and they wanted me to come along, but i couldn't considering I HAVE to make a B on this final.. This weekend i'll be secluded, and then we have exam week coming up... So only really like a 3 day week.

This winter break tho... I'm really going to shed this view people have of me. The view of this guy who is afraid to touch women, or is afraid of his sexuality. I just need to break free from that mindset. I've got the intangibles. I've got the confidence.. Just go out there and do it. The only thing that's stopping me is me. Perception truly is reality

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

Well i've got this weekend off to study for finals.... 2 of my best friends went to the beach for the weekend, and they wanted me to come along, but i couldn't considering I HAVE to make a B on this final.. This weekend i'll be secluded, and then we have exam week coming up... So only really like a 3 day week.

This winter break tho... I'm really going to shed this view people have of me. The view of this guy who is afraid to touch women, or is afraid of his sexuality. I just need to break free from that mindset. I've got the intangibles. I've got the confidence.. Just go out there and do it. The only thing that's stopping me is me. Perception truly is reality

Have to make a B?

How about "I'm going to get an A"?

Don't shoot for the bare minimum. Apply yourself!

The rest is good. But don't think of what you HAVE to do, think of what you're GOING to do. You're on the right track though. Build up your inner self, don't ever stop, and the rest takes care of itself.

And you're not going to shed the view people have of you, people are going to automatically recognize the increasing power & sexuality you possess! Remove limiting beliefs and small goals, go for it all with continual personal advancement.

 

[Jokerlsk]

I don't shoot for the bare minimum.... but i don't neccessarily apply myself either... I take really hard classes. I'm taking 2 AP's right now and i have an A in one of them... This one class is owning me tho. I challenge myself. I really do. This is the lowest grade i've ever gotten.

Thanks a lot tho man.