The Fine Art of Grinding

[Kelson]

Okay, this isn't a tip from me. More a thread that I'd like to see become a good place for other people to find information on this particular aspect of the club scene, since I couldn't find much information with the search feature.



Now, I've been working more and more lately on going out to the club scene and working on the confidence and reparte all important to the truest of Don Juans, but how can I be fully confident when I can't help but feel I'm messing up. So, I'm curious about 'proper' grinding...who leads in each situation, how hard do you push into them? How long should you grind with a chick (one song...until you both collapse...)? Is it safe to just up and press into them?

When front-to-front; hands on back or one on hip? Change it up often? Where should you be looking, her eyes would be too much staring. Where do you want her on your leg and vice versa. How should you be feeling? Pulling her completely against you? The kiss? Lead ins?

When I'm front-to-her-back; one hand around waist, other on thigh? How should I be moving here? Leg positioning? Pulling her into you?

When she's at my back; where should my hands go (above my head, moving around, changing positions, at the sides)? Leaning into her or letting her push into you? Maneuvering into better positions (back-to-front ==> front-to-front)?

Can't think of too many other questions right now

 

[isotope]

i have a related question:
if you have an erection, should you try to keep a distance, or should you jam it richt into her backside and let her know?
or does it depend on the situation?

 

[Vigilante7]

What exactly is the movement???

The steps?? Should you allow her to guide you (not starting too close then get closer) ???

 

[Eternal]

Don Juan Discussion.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Start with easy, light grinding. Grind to the music, use your arms/hands on her hips, her thighs, waist etc. If you notice her liking it (bodylanguage...) you can push it harder, especially if you have a boner. If you have a boner make her feel it!!! The best part is if you get her so into it she slides a hand inn between her ass and your **** and rubs it!

 

[Engetsu]

Originally posted by Kineti[C]harm
The best part is if you get her so into it she slides a hand inn between her ass and your **** and rubs it!

That's veeeeeeery unlikely to happen... you're just giving fake hopes to everyone who's never grinded.

But I agree with the first part. Go slowly at first, don't overdo it. Try all the parts of her body. If you feel you can go lower then try putting your hands in between her thighs when grinding from the back. You can work it up and rub her pvssy if she doesn't stop you. If she stops you from doing that, who gives a $hit, you're still having your fun.

Like anything else, the more you grind, the better you get. At first I used to get a boner from just about ANY girl rubbing up against me, but the more I danced, I realized that not any girl can do that "pumping" motion that feels so good.

You'll learn to dance eventually.

 

[Kelson]

I have been grinding, but my problem is that it doesn't feel "right" at all.

Thus the questions in order to improve my form. I can fake confidence in being able to grind, but when I go out there and, despite being confident as all hell that the way I'm grinding is the way it is done, if the woman has never had anyone grind that way and, more importantly, the 'unskilled' way doesn't do anything for her, then I still look ridiculous.

- Kelson

 

[FreeStyleZ]

Well dancing is one thing im pretty good at and i can tell you that I think it sounds like you are putting way too much thought into it. If you are just enjoying the song and dancing to the music you wouldnt be thinking about all that. All im thinking about when im dancing is how I like the song and how im gonna dance to it, period. When you are dancing though, dont stare right into her eyes... most of the time when im dancing though her back is to me and she is bent over freak dancing me.... so thats not an issue. When she's dancing with you front to front putting your hand on her hip is a good place. Just dance to the music man.

 

[Kelson]

So keep dancing to the beat as you were before...without regard to her direction of movement?

For instance, if she moves right...do you move right, left, up, back, etc?

 

[FreeStyleZ]

Oh, yeah, you have to move with her or she has to move with you... one or the other. Basically when you first start dancing you can do your own moves (it has to be consistent though) and she will follow your moves. One time before i was really good at dancing i remember being at the club and dancing with this girl not even worrying about what she's doing and she says "Damn! which way are you going" as to say she couldnt dance to the same moves i was doing. But yeah to answer your question, you two have to move together when grinding. When you first start grinding her, pay attention to what she's doing with her hips, if you can figure out her dance step because its pretty simple, just follow that.

 

[Kelson]

Okay, thanks FreeStylez

Now, a 'pumping' motion was mentioned that was supposed to be rather 'enjoyable', as it were. I haven't had that experience yet with anyone (honestly, none of the girls I've danced with have really excited me from the grinding), but I'd like to know what maneuvers by a DJ would make it enjoyable in the same way for her (thus showing off your impressive abilities in addition to the other qualities evoked by a decent, confident dancer). This relates back to how much pressure there should be.

By the way, I do not mean with the hands. I think most people can figure out where to put the hands...it is mostly instinctual, just make sure they're on her or busy for a little while off her. So I'm looking primarily at the lower torso/hip region.

Unfortunately, I can only figure some of this out from testing and some by watching people, but not all of it. And I'm always looking for a better approach.

 

[Kelson]

Just thought about this...but sporting a boner means the girl has really gotten to you. Since part of the dating game is the chase, even on the dance floor, this might not be in your best interests since it tells the girl that she has definately turned you on.

Remember, we want to be somewhat beyond their reach so they're always striving to be worthy of us. While letting them see you're turned on is fine, in fact it encourages them to keep trying, sporting that kind of a turn on (even ignoring how some girls might freak over it) is probably too much.

Feel free to correct me on this one; I know there have been a number of discussions in the past on the subject.

 

[Kelson]

Anyone else?

 

[icallug]

the only way you can practice grinding is by going out there and doing it. once you get past your fears of getting the girl to dance, it just comes naturally, you will just go, go with the flow.

 

[Ice Cold]

Duuuuuude

Grinding is no fine art. It's not NLP. There are no rules.

Do it for the sake of fun. Forget about everything. Forget about the people looking at you. Just concentrate on the girl and her curves. Let her know with your eyes you like her body.

If you're thinking: "OMG, I have to remember the steps. It's the moment! I have to grind her right and it'll prove I am the man and by grinding her, I'm finally gonna get laid and my AFC days are over..." you won't dance well.

If you're thinking: "hmm, that's a nice bodied chick. Let's see if it's gonna be fun. Oh yeah, we're moving together." Slap her ass! "cool she likes it! Move to the music move to the music!" " slap that booty. Slap that booty!"

As they say in NLP: REFRAME