Craig Reeves
Master Don Juan
For some reason, I named it this....
I really kind of just thought it sounded cool, I guess....
Anyway, I want to talk to y'all today about something that is so hard for most guys to do, yet it's really not that hard once you think about it.
What Is The Cold Approach?
It's called the Cold Approach.
Basically, it is walking up to a woman that you have never met before, and getting to know her - for no particular reason, or for no particular purpose will she gather. You are simply meeting her because you feel like it.
For some reason this is hard. For some reason, approaching a woman and getting to know her is very difficult to us, and it's especially difficult if we cannot come up with a valid reason to do so (or a reason that we THINK is valid.)
What Makes The Cold Approach Hard?
So WHY exactly is it hard?
This question got me for a long time. I could never really figure out what made a cold approach so difficult. I could never figure out why guys stumped on this aspect of dating more than any other aspect of dating. To most guys, this is actually the HARDEST aspect of dating.
I finally figured out WHY this was so difficult, and I came up with this reason back when I was 16, after seeing a beautiful girl (she looked about my age) one day in an arts and crafts store.
It seemed as if she was trying to pick out some fingerpaint for some reason. Luckily, I was there to pick up some finger paint as well. As soon as I pick out my colors, I'm on my way out of the aisle, and as I walk out and pass by this girl, she smiles at me - YET I FAIL TO MAKE AN APPROACH! A HAND OF FEAR GRABBED MY STOMACH and I was scared to!
So on my way out of the store, I'm basically shaming myself because I failed to approach the girl, and wondering why I was so scared to do it. Then I see this less attractive girl smile at me as I walk out of the store, and for some reason, that fear that I felt was not present. I said "hi" back to her, and we had a pretty nice conversation.
So what was going on here? Why did my fear go up with the attractive girl, but didn't with the attractive one?
I went home that day and decided to analyze this, and ended up stumbling on a really interesting idea. So I decided to go out and ask every guy that I could the same question: Why they were afraid to ask out a beautiful girl, and not afraid to ask out an average one....
I got the same answer from every single one of the 50 or so guys that I asked this question to. They all told me this....
"It's going to take more to impress the attractive woman, because she has more guys to choose from. That or she's probably got a boyfriend already."
This one kind of made sense to me when I first heard it. Afterall, she's getting approached by guys all the time, right? If so many guys approach her, then she must always have a boyfriend on hand, right?
Afterall, even if she did happen to be single, why would she pick an average guy over the 50 or so guys that are probably hitting on her every week? Basically, most guys feel that Beautiful women look at guys as being totally replaceable, and basically a dime-a dozen unless he happens to own a Ferrari.
Afterall, we tend to think a little more optomistically with the average girl because we believe that she has less to compare us to, so she will see us in a more valuable light because she has less to choose from, so she better get what she can take. We really tend to think that average looking women have average standards, and that hot looking women have very, very high standards.
What Really Goes Through The Mind Of A Beautiful Woman
Beautiful women are women just like all other women. Beautiful women know they are beautiful, and expect things like guys poorly hitting on them, and guys poorly trying to get their number as well.
But do they really mind it? Think about it. Would they go through the trouble of looking their best everyday if they really minded guys poorly hitting on them?
Take a look at what I just said there, and you will see that I said they EXPECT guys to POORLY try and hit on them, and they expect guys to do the WRONG THINGS around them. If this is what beautiful women expect, then why the heck do we feel as if beautiful women have higher standards than average looking women?
For instance...
If I was being fed dried pork chop every single day, 7 or 8 times a day, for 3 years...then why would I be expecting a pepporoni pizza one day? Apply this to women - if a beautiful woman is getting approached by a bunch of idiots all day, then why would she blow off a person who actually approaches her correctly for once!?
Remember, that something is always whiter when put up next to a black background.
If anything, the really hot women are usually EASIER to impress because of the sharp contrast between you (somebody who follows the DJ Bible at least to an extent), and all the other dumb-asses who approach her all the time.
So How Does One Get In The Habit Of Approaching Women?
The only way that you will be able to break your old habit of failing to approach a woman is progressively and slowly getting rid of it. A person doesn't usually kick the smoking habit cold-turkey so you shouldn't expect to be able to just kick this habit cold-turkey either, because that's what it is, a habit...
Start off by one day simply saying "hi" to at least 7 women. That's it! Don't worry about what happens after that, don't worry about stopping and talking to them, don't worry about how attractive or how old they are - just say "hi" to at least 7 people that are female and walking, that's it! You're basically trying to ease your way into a new habit, here, that's it.
Do this everyday for a whole week - if you happen to miss a few days, make up for them the following week.
Once you have completed a week's worth of this, bump this number up to 12. Once you have completed this....
Go up to at least 3 different women that you find attractive, go up to them, look them in the eye, smile and say, "Hey there, I'm (your name). And you are....(while holding out your hand to shake it). Then just simply say,
"Ah, (her name), OK. Well, it's nice to meet you, (her name). I gotta go now, but I just wanted to meet you because you seem like a nice girl." Then walk away. Before you know it, you will be able to approach any woman you want without even thinking about it.
Thank you very much for reading! Good luck, and God bless!
I really kind of just thought it sounded cool, I guess....
Anyway, I want to talk to y'all today about something that is so hard for most guys to do, yet it's really not that hard once you think about it.
What Is The Cold Approach?
It's called the Cold Approach.
Basically, it is walking up to a woman that you have never met before, and getting to know her - for no particular reason, or for no particular purpose will she gather. You are simply meeting her because you feel like it.
For some reason this is hard. For some reason, approaching a woman and getting to know her is very difficult to us, and it's especially difficult if we cannot come up with a valid reason to do so (or a reason that we THINK is valid.)
What Makes The Cold Approach Hard?
So WHY exactly is it hard?
This question got me for a long time. I could never really figure out what made a cold approach so difficult. I could never figure out why guys stumped on this aspect of dating more than any other aspect of dating. To most guys, this is actually the HARDEST aspect of dating.
I finally figured out WHY this was so difficult, and I came up with this reason back when I was 16, after seeing a beautiful girl (she looked about my age) one day in an arts and crafts store.
It seemed as if she was trying to pick out some fingerpaint for some reason. Luckily, I was there to pick up some finger paint as well. As soon as I pick out my colors, I'm on my way out of the aisle, and as I walk out and pass by this girl, she smiles at me - YET I FAIL TO MAKE AN APPROACH! A HAND OF FEAR GRABBED MY STOMACH and I was scared to!
So on my way out of the store, I'm basically shaming myself because I failed to approach the girl, and wondering why I was so scared to do it. Then I see this less attractive girl smile at me as I walk out of the store, and for some reason, that fear that I felt was not present. I said "hi" back to her, and we had a pretty nice conversation.
So what was going on here? Why did my fear go up with the attractive girl, but didn't with the attractive one?
I went home that day and decided to analyze this, and ended up stumbling on a really interesting idea. So I decided to go out and ask every guy that I could the same question: Why they were afraid to ask out a beautiful girl, and not afraid to ask out an average one....
I got the same answer from every single one of the 50 or so guys that I asked this question to. They all told me this....
"It's going to take more to impress the attractive woman, because she has more guys to choose from. That or she's probably got a boyfriend already."
This one kind of made sense to me when I first heard it. Afterall, she's getting approached by guys all the time, right? If so many guys approach her, then she must always have a boyfriend on hand, right?
Afterall, even if she did happen to be single, why would she pick an average guy over the 50 or so guys that are probably hitting on her every week? Basically, most guys feel that Beautiful women look at guys as being totally replaceable, and basically a dime-a dozen unless he happens to own a Ferrari.
Afterall, we tend to think a little more optomistically with the average girl because we believe that she has less to compare us to, so she will see us in a more valuable light because she has less to choose from, so she better get what she can take. We really tend to think that average looking women have average standards, and that hot looking women have very, very high standards.
What Really Goes Through The Mind Of A Beautiful Woman
Beautiful women are women just like all other women. Beautiful women know they are beautiful, and expect things like guys poorly hitting on them, and guys poorly trying to get their number as well.
But do they really mind it? Think about it. Would they go through the trouble of looking their best everyday if they really minded guys poorly hitting on them?
Take a look at what I just said there, and you will see that I said they EXPECT guys to POORLY try and hit on them, and they expect guys to do the WRONG THINGS around them. If this is what beautiful women expect, then why the heck do we feel as if beautiful women have higher standards than average looking women?
For instance...
If I was being fed dried pork chop every single day, 7 or 8 times a day, for 3 years...then why would I be expecting a pepporoni pizza one day? Apply this to women - if a beautiful woman is getting approached by a bunch of idiots all day, then why would she blow off a person who actually approaches her correctly for once!?
Remember, that something is always whiter when put up next to a black background.
If anything, the really hot women are usually EASIER to impress because of the sharp contrast between you (somebody who follows the DJ Bible at least to an extent), and all the other dumb-asses who approach her all the time.
So How Does One Get In The Habit Of Approaching Women?
The only way that you will be able to break your old habit of failing to approach a woman is progressively and slowly getting rid of it. A person doesn't usually kick the smoking habit cold-turkey so you shouldn't expect to be able to just kick this habit cold-turkey either, because that's what it is, a habit...
Start off by one day simply saying "hi" to at least 7 women. That's it! Don't worry about what happens after that, don't worry about stopping and talking to them, don't worry about how attractive or how old they are - just say "hi" to at least 7 people that are female and walking, that's it! You're basically trying to ease your way into a new habit, here, that's it.
Do this everyday for a whole week - if you happen to miss a few days, make up for them the following week.
Once you have completed a week's worth of this, bump this number up to 12. Once you have completed this....
Go up to at least 3 different women that you find attractive, go up to them, look them in the eye, smile and say, "Hey there, I'm (your name). And you are....(while holding out your hand to shake it). Then just simply say,
"Ah, (her name), OK. Well, it's nice to meet you, (her name). I gotta go now, but I just wanted to meet you because you seem like a nice girl." Then walk away. Before you know it, you will be able to approach any woman you want without even thinking about it.
Thank you very much for reading! Good luck, and God bless!
