The Final Word on Looks

[Atom Smasher]

Put 10 men in a room.

Let one woman walk in. She will prefer one of the 10 based solely on looks.

There is no denying looks matter. It is hardwired into all of us. If you are grossly overweight, you lose 90% of your options.

Having said that, I always felt you maximize the things you have control over.

For example, I lost alot of hair so started shaving my head at age 40. I don't believe it has hurt my success with women at all......but who is to say? In any event, I don't worry about it, because it is beyond my control.

What is in my control? My body, fitness level, body fat, clothes, personality, degree of skill in the bedroom.

Those are the things I focus on.

I personally would put it a different way. This is the problem. We men think in terms of objective looks. This is not true of women. Here’s how I would re-state your idea:

“Put 10 men in a room. Let one woman walk in. She will prefer one of the ten based solely on PROJECTION.“

This is what is so hard for young men to understand. To a woman, looks is based upon how a man PROJECTS himself. It’s his clothing. His fitness level. The way he looks at her. The expressions on his face. The way he carries himself. His body language. How much boldness he projects (verbal and body language). These and many other factors play into a woman’s perception of a man’s looks. We men are linear in our evaluation of women’s looks. One through ten, case closed. Women are in no way wired like us. They are non-linear in their evaluation and MANY factors, characteristics and traits figure into how she thinks a man looks.

Show a picture of a man with his act together to a woman and she will rate him highly. Show a picture of that exact same man while presenting himself carelessly and she will rate him 3 to 4 points lower in looks.

If you young men want to sail through the looks barrier, stop thinking that women rate us the same way we rate them. The vast majority of women don’t need huge muscles, chiseled features, Adonis-Type looks. They evaluate each man on his own individual merit, according to how he presents himself with the raw materials he’s been given and how socially aware he is. In her mind, this all affects how she thinks he looks.

My fiancé thinks I’m the hottest thing on the planet, and it’s because I’ve got all those seemingly ancillary factors handled. Get rid of the male 1-10 scale in your mind and replace it with reality. It’s a reality that most of you don’t understand, especially you young ‘uns, but it’s a reality that can be leveraged to your advantage, simply by opening up your mind to the possibility that just maybe, women view looks radically differently than we men do.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I'd say I've always been well above the average man in terms of looks. I'm not being a d*ick, it just is, even going way back to grade school and now well over 40. I can still pull women less than half my age and most of it depends on looks.

That being said, I've also noticed and have dealt with a fair share of women and some guys, but more women, that automatically don't like me because of my looks. Even before we get to know each other. They think because I look the way I do I'm automatically self-centered, co*cky, a womanizer, etc., etc. I've had a few women say they were attracted to me by the way I walk. I guess it's kind of a swagger, but it's natural for me. I had one woman, before we even officially met, say I walk and act like a "Doberman." Little did she know I had one at the time and have had 4 in my life, lol. BTW, I dated her for 9 years.

Some, who didn't even know me, have preemptively verbally attacked me in a group setting because of it. One instance in late 90's was from a guy's wife and ridiculously blatant at a work party. I worked with the guy and his wife went all pit bull on me from the second I got there. People were even asking me about it the following Monday at work like "What the hell was with Sally (can't remember her name) on Saturday??" Funny thing is, the guy/co-worker (Ron) was in a torrid affair with another co-worker and about 3 months after the party incident, left his wife to be with the other woman. Karma lives.

It's actually helped me over the years determine who to date and who to be friends with; by the way people treat me from the get-go.

Don't get me wrong, I'd rather look like Dash Riprock than the Hunchback of Notre Dame, but the dynamic it creates can be really interesting.

Anyone else experience this?

Be safe and well.

~Dash~

Yes, ultra-good looks can work against you. Women can feel very uncomfortable if her man surpasses her in looks in her own mind.

Deep down they know their looks are fake. The magic’s in the makeup and they know it.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yes, ultra-good looks can work against you. Women can feel very uncomfortable if her man surpasses her in looks in her own mind.

Deep down they know their looks are fake. The magic’s in the makeup and they know it.

And those types will PUNISH you for it.

There is a small subset who are secure in themselves and they won't harass you and it's not even all about "looks" from her end. She likes who she is.

 

[oc16]

Tall, dark & handsome

Women have been saying it for 100 years bro

Or perhaps men have just chosen not to listen.. which is also a good move. However, a good looking man is still accepted by default, by women. The rest of society has to offer more

Haha....I'm tall dark and handsome and I certainly ain't beating off women with a stick....hogwash!

 

[BeExcellent]

Merry Christmas Atom and the soon to be Missus

An interesting topic certainly. I’d say it is about PROJECTION as in how a man presents himself, but I’m interested in a face guy as well. Call me spoiled. I can be approached by the coolest cat in the room, and his vibe & presentation are on point, but if I don’t find his look handsome from the neck up? I’m out. But I will say I’m a little unusual in that regard.

I think I select for a man I will look well matched with appearance wise and I think I do this subconsciously. That has to do with the fact that I’m objectively very attractive myself and I seek someone at or above my own level. I cannot stand being drooled over, supplicated to, or pedestalized. Ugh. I want a man who can take or leave me, as that’s the only sort that can keep me in line...granted I want a man who treats me well and who I can spoil, but I prefer a man who has options. That is a man who isn’t intimidated by the fact that I have options. We choose each other and that’s by choice...

And these are without exception very good looking men, who also present/project well and know how to handle women.

For the majority of women (who haven’t been as spoiled and who don’t understand men as well as I do)...I concur with your premise. But there are outliers.

I am an outlier.

Cheers

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I'd say I've always been well above the average man in terms of looks. I'm not being a d*ick, it just is, even going way back to grade school and now well over 40. I can still pull women less than half my age and most of it depends on looks.

That being said, I've also noticed and have dealt with a fair share of women and some guys, but more women, that automatically don't like me because of my looks. Even before we get to know each other. They think because I look the way I do I'm automatically self-centered, co*cky, a womanizer, etc., etc. I've had a few women say they were attracted to me by the way I walk. I guess it's kind of a swagger, but it's natural for me. I had one woman, before we even officially met, say I walk and act like a "Doberman." Little did she know I had one at the time and have had 4 in my life, lol. BTW, I dated her for 9 years.

Some, who didn't even know me, have preemptively verbally attacked me in a group setting because of it. One instance in late 90's was from a guy's wife and ridiculously blatant at a work party. I worked with the guy and his wife went all pit bull on me from the second I got there. People were even asking me about it the following Monday at work like "What the hell was with Sally (can't remember her name) on Saturday??" Funny thing is, the guy/co-worker (Ron) was in a torrid affair with another co-worker and about 3 months after the party incident, left his wife to be with the other woman. Karma lives.

It's actually helped me over the years determine who to date and who to be friends with; by the way people treat me from the get-go.

Don't get me wrong, I'd rather look like Dash Riprock than the Hunchback of Notre Dame, but the dynamic it creates can be really interesting.

Anyone else experience this?

Be safe and well.

~Dash~

I experience the opposite. People treat me really nicely. Both men and women. They go out of their way to be helpful. I’m assumed to be a womanizer as well (‘you fvck a lot, don’t you.’ ‘You look like a pervy pornstar’...). But maybe I don’t look co*cky or self centered ‍?

 

[MatureDJ]

So you are saying that a normie that dresses well beats a Chad that dresses less well? Sorry, I'm not buying this; women want to get naked next to Chad's naked body, so it doesn't matter. I myself feel the same away about women, so long as whatever they are wearing shows off the physique (e.g., tight T-shirt & yoga pants).

The only thing that FashionMaxxing does is prove the ability to BetaBux - and of course, Chad doesn't need to concern himself with that.

 

[RickTheToad]

Merry Christmas Atom and the soon to be Missus

An interesting topic certainly. I’d say it is about PROJECTION as in how a man presents himself, but I’m interested in a face guy as well. Call me spoiled. I can be approached by the coolest cat in the room, and his vibe & presentation are on point, but if I don’t find his look handsome from the neck up? I’m out. But I will say I’m a little unusual in that regard.

I think I select for a man I will look well matched with appearance wise and I think I do this subconsciously. That has to do with the fact that I’m objectively very attractive myself and I seek someone at or above my own level. I cannot stand being drooled over, supplicated to, or pedestalized. Ugh. I want a man who can take or leave me, as that’s the only sort that can keep me in line...granted I want a man who treats me well and who I can spoil, but I prefer a man who has options. That is a man who isn’t intimidated by the fact that I have options. We choose each other and that’s by choice...

And these are without exception very good looking men, who also present/project well and know how to handle women.

For the majority of women (who haven’t been as spoiled and who don’t understand men as well as I do)...I concur with your premise. But there are outliers.

I am an outlier.

Cheers

Whatcha think of a smooth skinned slimy toad? They love our eyes and tongue. The later has amazing uses that I find very beneficial.

 

[RickTheToad]

In all honesty, dudes (and one dudette), you people place too much empathizes on looks and dress. I usually just wear a henley, jeans (not those slim ones) and boots usually. I do wear cologne though, but aside from that, nothing special. It's the attitude. When you don't give a f uck, and do you, people notice.

Now the contrapositive is trying too hard. Dressing to the 9's to go to the grocery, wearing gold (I do wear a fitbit), worrying about your hair, your clothes, your car, etc. It doesn't matter. Get good clothes that fit you, eat healthy and exercise a bit. That's the key to success. However, if you are scrawny or so ugly that your reflection runs away from you in the mirror; then I cannot help you. Hire a hooker and jack off.

 

[Lordeterra]

Merry Christmas Atom and the soon to be Missus

An interesting topic certainly. I’d say it is about PROJECTION as in how a man presents himself, but I’m interested in a face guy as well. Call me spoiled. I can be approached by the coolest cat in the room, and his vibe & presentation are on point, but if I don’t find his look handsome from the neck up? I’m out. But I will say I’m a little unusual in that regard.

I think I select for a man I will look well matched with appearance wise and I think I do this subconsciously. That has to do with the fact that I’m objectively very attractive myself and I seek someone at or above my own level. I cannot stand being drooled over, supplicated to, or pedestalized. Ugh. I want a man who can take or leave me, as that’s the only sort that can keep me in line...granted I want a man who treats me well and who I can spoil, but I prefer a man who has options. That is a man who isn’t intimidated by the fact that I have options. We choose each other and that’s by choice...

And these are without exception very good looking men, who also present/project well and know how to handle women.

For the majority of women (who haven’t been as spoiled and who don’t understand men as well as I do)...I concur with your premise. But there are outliers.

I am an outlier.

Cheers

so you value face looks?

 

[BeExcellent]

Personally I do and always have (value a handsome face). Listen. Nobody is going to appeal to everyone all the time. Not the face guys, not me, not the 25 year old hottie.

You make the best of what you have to work with and pick from the people who you attract.

Some people have more choices than others and it just is what it is.

There is no reason not to look well put together over sloppy or slovenly, ever. I mean how much effort does it take really to wear a pair of jeans that fits well, a fitted t-shirt and a cool pair of shoes? No more effort than something slouchy.

And if you are consistent you don’t have to kill yourself to keep in reasonably good shape either, but you need to give some consideration to what/how you eat and you need to make some kind of physical activity a regular habit...

 

[Lordeterra]

Personally I do and always have (value a handsome face). Listen. Nobody is going to appeal to everyone all the time. Not the face guys, not me, not the 25 year old hottie.

You make the best of what you have to work with and pick from the people who you attract.

Some people have more choices than others and it just is what it is.

There is no reason not to look well put together over sloppy or slovenly, ever. I mean how much effort does it take really to wear a pair of jeans that fits well, a fitted t-shirt and a cool pair of shoes? No more effort than something slouchy.

And if you are consistent you don’t have to kill yourself to keep in reasonably good shape either, but you need to give some consideration to what/how you eat and you need to make some kind of physical activity a regular habit...

this is a good thing for me because i have a handsome face. I am in good shape to. The thing is the pua community keeps telling me to derive my confidence other than my looks. The thing is I do. I value my looks and my shape and dont want people shaming me for having confidence for that.

 

[BeExcellent]

this is a good thing for me because i have a handsome face. I am in good shape to. The thing is the pua community keeps telling me to derive my confidence other than my looks. The thing is I do. I value my looks and my shape and dont want people shaming me for having confidence for that.

And you should. Never apologize or retreat from being attractive by the lottery of your genetics. Your confidence must derive from you as a package. If you are a higher percent looks contributing to your confidence? So be it. Embrace it. My recent exBF is a gorgeous man. He’s also vain. Comes with the territory to a degree...just watch that vanity doesn’t rule you, especially as you age. All things in moderation.

 

[Lordeterra]

And you should. Never apologize or retreat from being attractive by the lottery of your genetics. Your confidence must derive from you as a package. If you are a higher percent looks contributing to your confidence? So be it. Embrace it. My recent exBF is a gorgeous man. He’s also vain. Comes with the territory to a degree...just watch that vanity doesn’t rule you, especially as you age. All things in moderation.

im so ****ing happy about this statement. Though one thing I get is hate from short men and less then good looking men but i also get admiration which is also annoying. Im well aware im going to age and want to look attractive into my 50's. When im 60 i still want to look as good as i can but one can only counteract father time for so long. will still do cardio, no alcohol, NO DRUGS OR SMOKING, eat very very clean, and only drink water to optimize when im 60+. I am so blessed to have built fitness habits at the age of 15 because i see my peers at 25 and they do NOT look good and its only going to get worse. IF you build good habits early there is no way other people will catch up. Kind of like if someone invests money at 11 and someone invests money at 32. The age gap is so huge including compound interests it is impossible for the 32 to catch up. Sure you can make arguments and loop holesbut you get the point.

 

[Atom Smasher]

The moral of the story is this:
Develop your looks to a reasonable level for yourself, and you will forget about looks as being a barrier. Looks generally aren’t the end-all and be-all for women like they are for men.

 

[Bigpapa]

The moral of the story is this:
Develop your looks to a reasonable level for yourself, and you will forget about looks as being a barrier. Looks generally aren’t the end-all and be-all for women like they are for men.

basically what people agree on is that good looks matters at the beginning , but it is not everything

being attractive only opens the doors , it does not also put you automatically through it

 

[apotheosis]

I have to say that I think it's as simple as her needing to think you are good looking. And depending on how much you meet her minimm requirement (maybe a 7) is related to how much 'game' you need to seal the deal

It's not about being well groomed and taking a shower (if she thinks you're a 4, but she can see you;ve taken a shower and workout and had a haircut, you still have zero chance)

It's that, luckily, not all girls have identical taste in what makes a man handsome. I feel like i've even experienced this in my life myslf a few times (getting rejected by 5's and end up pulling a 7 because she just happens to had unusual taste when it comes to looks)

But as someone who has a really good looking wing man, I literally cannot take someone seriously if he tells me 'girls don't care about looks like we do bro' bla bla bla. The stuff i've seen him do and how girls react to him and approach him is crazy.

And especially when we're talking about very young girls. I'd go as far to say they are EVEN MORE superficial about looks than us men are!! lol

 

[logicallefty]

Looks get you in the door. Frame and personality decide how long you stay.

 

[oc16]

Here's a good example that it's not just about looks

This is Bret Bielema and his wife; head coach of the Illinois Fightning Illini football team. They apparently met at a poker table/blackjack table in Vegas and she didn't know he was a Division 1 football coach with a high income.

I've seen the guy speak and he has charisma and his players love him. It's more about personality.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Here's a good example that it's not just about looks

This is Bret Bielema and his wife; head coach of the Illinois Fightning Illini football team. They apparently met at a poker table/blackjack table in Vegas and she didn't know he was a Division 1 football coach with a high income.

I've seen the guy speak and he has charisma and his players love him. It's more about personality.

Exactly. By the way, there are plenty of pretty women out there who like the big teddy-bear types, but I would never bank on that unless I was a natural teddy-bear type of guy.
Women’s perception of looks can be fairly malleable based upon the energy you project. But again, the whole point of this thread is that so many men are paralyzed by what they consider to be ugly looks, when in fact there is plenty they can do about that to make it no longer an issue.