The FINAL Debate: Looks Vs. Personality

[becker]

Starman,

Good job with the experiment. I say that it at least says that personality is an important trait. However, you have to also think that perhaps this 2nd girl didn't have such low IL in you. Just because she didn't talk to you doesn't mean she didn't feel some attraction. Some girls are shy and have some guard that you need to make drop.

I need to try that thing you did where you just pull her away without saying anything. That sounds like a pretty interesting method.

 

[Starman]

yea..my main interest in this entire field..is finding out IF and HOW IL is dropped or raised..I dont believe this bullcrap that either a chick is attracted to you or she isnt..there have been many times where I wasnt fully attracted to a girl..that I later found facinating..I even had crushes on some really unattractive women (4-5's)

ya gotta be a careful with the "just take her by the hand" method..

Ive had some girls resist..because they werent sure what they were being led to..

this chick I am talking about resisted for like 2 secs..I grabbed her hand..and said "follow me"..I didnt check for her reaction..but I did feel a slight resistance in my pulling her hand..

then I eased her tension..by saying "Dont worry! just wanna show you something"

I handed her the ping pong paddles..and said "Lets see what ya got!"

immediately she relaxed..(she probably thought I was gonna lead her to some bathroom or secluded area) away from her friends..she was sober(she just got to the party)..I was not( I was there for 1 hr)..

so the point is .. you need to build good rapport..if you wanna pull this off..I got a good response because everyone at this party seemed to trust each other..based on the implied idea that we were all "mature adults" and we all knew some person at the party (i.e. safety net)

 

[becker]

The only problem with your whole theory Starman, might have been that men sometimes are attracted to women based on sexual tension alone. I mean, if a girl isn't that attractive, but seems like she might be great in bed, then a guy might feel attraction rise toward her. However, a girl may not feel this as much since the don't have d*cks to get in the way of their clear thinking.

 

[confus4ever]

it's funny your all talking about this because today i bumped into a chick i haven't seen in eight years. HOTTIE FROM HELL. We used to party together and i always for some reason felt confident to pull whatever sh*t i felt like. I guess you could say i was somewhat very very forward. I was somewaht turned down each time but she had a boyfriend. I didn't care. Anyways, in the end she told me that she always had a crush on me...but yet i could never tell

I saw her today at work and grabbed a hug from her (long) Once again, i feel so confident to be forward with her, and it's been 8 years. I gave her my number................wish me lots of luck

peace

 

[becker]

Originally posted by confus4ever
it's funny your all talking about this because today i bumped into a chick i haven't seen in eight years. HOTTIE FROM HELL. We used to party together and i always for some reason felt confident to pull whatever sh*t i felt like. I guess you could say i was somewhat very very forward. I was somewaht turned down each time but she had a boyfriend. I didn't care. Anyways, in the end she told me that she always had a crush on me...but yet i could never tell

I saw her today at work and grabbed a hug from her (long) Once again, i feel so confident to be forward with her, and it's been 8 years. I gave her my number................wish me lots of luck

peace

Wait, how does this relate to this thread? Did I miss something? It seems cool that this happened to you though. It sounds like some movie.

 

[es_mer8]

Looks and personality BOTH are vital to the dating game. However if you really break it down, its usually looks first...personality later.

When you first see a girl, you cannot tell about her personality. "Boy, I bet she is really funny." No, you see about her figure. Does she have the hair you like, the body you want, and how she carries herself. So like all good DJs, you approach her. This is where the personality aspects come to play. If she is mean or just has a personality that turns you off, often times you lose attraction for her. You ignore the girl.

Lets say a 5 walks in. Maybe has one body aspect you like. You are just friendly and talk to her. Yet she is hilarious. She is complex, everything personality-wise you want in a woman, and best yet, she knows her feminine role and is a fun person all around.

Odds are that you will be more attracted to the charismatic 5 than the b1tchy 9. Its true. I have a friend who was only after supermodel like chicks (we all go for those) yet there was this girl who was maybe a 6 at best. She was a little chubby, a face that is kind of average, but had a nice rack. Anyway, she was extremely charismatic and he told me that for the first time in his life, he felt an attraction for someone who wouldn't be a model. He went out with her and those two are happy with eachother to this date.

So if you ask me, both can be interchangable. Looks first then personality later.

 

[Dee-Zy]

Originally posted by Starman
Every freakin thread on here has turned into people arguing is it the looks that gets the girl? The personality? or BOTH??

Either side you choose..there are examples all over the world to support your belief

Hot Chicks ONLY date Good Looking Guys

or

Average Guys can Bag Hot chicks if he had a dynamic Personality

and Here is what it really BOILS down to

EVERY GIRL in this world is DIFFERENT..ACCEPT THAT! TATTOO IT IN YOUR BRAIN

Women's definition of good looks arent created on a factory conveyer belt!

A Gap in a guys teeth may be cute to some women, and repulsive to another!

But essentially, the women you see hanging with ONLY good looking guys, or HB's you see with AVERAGE guys can be broken down as follows:

#1 -Some HB's are hella Shallow, and only go for the GQ Superstud..but, a FEW times in their lives they will give the AVERAGE guys a CHANCE (only because waay good looking guys cheat on them Mercilessly because they get a HUGE influx of pvssy coming in)

#2- Then there are the HB's who DONT base their relationship happiness based on just LOOKS alone..they want substance, someone who will make them happy, etc etc..and while they are very good looking, they are not as Vain as #1 and place looks 2nd to personality

The trick is all about TIMING to score with #1..you have to be there at the moment when they want to give the average guy a CHANCE

Girls like #2 are usually open to average looking men..but they are usually snatched by another guy before you have met them

The 2nd Trick is all about TRYING for EVERY HB you meet and NEVER accept the idea that she is too good looking for you..because you can NEVER tell if she is Girl #1 or Girl #2

and if You DONT give it a Shot, and think they dont date average looking men, you have Just Disqualifyed yourself out of the game. and for every HB you DONT try for..there is another average looking AFC/DJ who WILL TRY and WILL SCORE

You can sit here and argue whats more important LOOKS vs Personality until your Head implodes.

The Fact is IT DOESNT MATTER..Because its DIFFERENT for EVERY WOMAN!

EVen if you did find the TRUE answer..what will you do next? Get Cosmetic Surgery? or Learn to Develope a Dynamic Personality?

SO I urge everyone to stop arguing this silly little endless debate, and just PROCEED as if LOOKS DONT MATTER.

Because if you believe they Matter SO MUCH and you dont have High praise for your own looks, then you are just Crippling yourself, and someone else will do the Job that you Cant do!

Peace

Looks attracts, but personality do the walking.

Looks can only make the women 'attracted' to you. That's it, looks alone will not make them head over heals for you (minus very few rare exceptions), looks alone will not get you sex, looks alone will not make a woman fall in love with you.

You want sex? Work on personality.
You want a durable relationship? Work on personality.

Looks are important, but looks are only second.

 

[k_hectic]

Looks could help, but they're not the main thing.

If you didn't have a personality, then no matter how good looking you are, you're not gonna get any gals. Take it from someone who suffered that for a while.

But from what I've seen and heard, looks don't matter. If you didn't have the look, then no matter how ugly you are, you can always get a hot babe if you develop a personality that is charming enough.

Take midgets for an example. You see how some of them have extremely funny personalities that women drool on.

 

[becker]

I may be biased in this, but I've never seen HBs go for unattractive guys. The only thing I've seen is HBs that go for guys who I may think are not as good looking as I am or something along those lines.

I've had girls be all flirty and neg-hitting me/kino when I have barely said a word to them. I started working about 3 weeks ago, and only the 2nd day on the job, I met a girl at work. I said one sentence to her, that's it, and she was always staring me down and flirting with me every time she saw me without even really knowing whether I'm a d!ck or whatever. I am able to be pretty funny, but I definitely find it harder around HBs who are too high on the list because they tend to have more difficult sense of humor.

 

[jakethasnake]

The way I see, it personality DOES make up for the RELATIVE lack of looks. Upto 3 points on the looks scale, and NO MORE.

For example, I've seen a 5 guy with an 8 girl, and another couple in which the girl was a 7 and the guy a 9. I think that within the 3-point range of difference in looks, ANYTHING is possible (not saying its common, but it DOES happen) - and in these cases, the X-factor is either

1) personality

2) wealth/fame.


Take this for what it's worth to you, it's just another humble opinion by another guy.

 

[Kodiac]

Interesting survey regarding women and 'beer goggles'
http://www.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,7623949%5E13762,00.html

"However, drunken women consistently gave pictures of men lower ratings than women who were sober.

Men have NEVER believed it necessary to become acquainted with a female they intend mating with.

Women, on the other hand, will usually SPEAK with a potential partner and ensure he's not engaged in the white slave trade before engaging in footsies under the table.

"It has LONG been KNOWN that women do NOT have the same obsession with looks as men and are MORE interested in other qualities like personality," Dr Mittermair said."

Debate...OVER!

 

[ManOMan]

Thats an interesting article, but it seems to contradict itself. The first study says women dont find men more attractive after a few beers. The 2nd study says they do.

I notice some women become more attractive to me AFTER I speak with them. Some women become LESS attractive to me after I speak with them.

Its usually something in the eyes, or the way that they carry themselves that makes them more attractive to me

Im sure its the same way with some women. They either find you MORE or LESS appealing AFTER conversing.

Has anyone else noticed this?

 

[Kodiac]

ManOMan ; Yeah, for some reason that paper always like's to provide details of past studies etc.. that had different results.

Seem's like this recent one is a lot more in depth than the previous studies though. Also, one was in Vienna (newest) one was in Scotland - whether that has something to do with it.

I agree. Some women have great eyes, sometimes the eyes make all the difference!

Also, i definately think personality has alot to do on how much i am attracted to a women or not. If she's a dumb bimbo, it definately doesn't do much for my attraction or IL.

Physical appearence has a lot to do with my "initial attraction level" and the basis on whether i decide to approach or not. From there it all boils down to her personality.

But, women are different - as we all know.

 

[Helter Skelter]

Originally posted by Kodiac

"It has LONG been KNOWN that women do NOT have the same obsession with looks as men and are MORE interested in other qualities like personality," Dr Mittermair said."

BULLSHIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Dee-Zy]

The reason for the variations in this experiment is that men are far more stupid than women.

Can I hear a 'BIAS' please???

That whole article is garbage.

Men have never believed it necessary to become acquainted with a female they intend mating with.

Women, on the other hand, will usually speak with a potential partner and ensure he's not engaged in the white slave trade before engaging in footsies under the table.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

That's comedy!

"It has long been known that women do not have the same obsession with looks as men and are more interested in other qualities like personality," Dr Mittermair said.

Based on what? A well educated would be more precise with his/her use of words.

Is it me or I smell an angry feminist???

 

[THA REALNESS]

Do girls with great personalities attract YOU or do the good looking ones do?

 

[becker]

I will put up with some personality defects if the girl is totally hot. However, she'll have to be extremely hot.

I feel that the problem is that as enduring as personality seems to be, I feel that personality might fade just as much as looks later. People don't always stay the same for their entire lives. For instance, I was much more shy when I was in grade school, but by the time college rolled by, I was much more outgoing, and would say and do stuff that there was no way I'd do in grade school. If I'm with a girl who's a 6 and her personality is a 9 or 10, the problem is that when she gets all b!tchy, I'll not only not like her personality, but her ugliness will be magnified. On the other hand, a hot girl who acts *****y will still be hot physically, so at least it's not a double whammy.

People seem to overlook this here, and feel more that physical looks are the only thing that can fade over time.

 

[cyo72]

Damn.. finally

Anyone who disagrees needs to have their brain examined.

Some of my friends have SUCH different interests. One, who is very hot could care very little about looks (says they only have to be decent looking).. she said she is most attracted to men with great intelligence.

Point in case, she is dating a very normal-lookin guy who is naturally, very smart.

 

[Pap]

Sure, looks are important. Be well groomed, well shaven, and dress your best. Workout too!!! Keep healthy, because health will affect your relationships. However, a chick will choose an outstanding personality and someone that can convey higher value and establish deep and wide rapport over good looks.

Cheers,

Papa

 

[echo1212]

"However, a chick will choose an outstanding personality and someone that can convey higher value and establish deep and wide rapport over good looks"

cough*bull****e*cough