fvgart said:
UPDATE:
thanks for all the posts! It is indeed the first weeks in my new life!
And I need to learn A LOT!
BUT:
I have talked with her and she know there are things that need to be changed.
She can think about it for some weeks, I give her some space, (also to do a lot of self improvement currently of course) she can work on all the different topics we handled, If necessary I want to help her.
I told her clearly, that I will talk with her later if things do not change
if necessary, I will take further steps!
I'm really serious about this. I give her a chance to join me to go through life.
It will be a lot of fun! I want to fully enjoy life!
You have read a lot but you haven't learned much yet...
Don't "Talk", just decide. When kissing her (You still kiss), kiss longer. Don't ask what she wants. Do what you want, and stop only when she stops you. It's not her initiative to do anything, it's yours, so "talk with her later if things do not change; if necessary, I will take further steps" isn't the right move. It might be, if it was my wife talking to me, after I've been unemployed and sleeping on the couch for the past month; not something a man would say to his woman, however.
You change things, and if you fail, you'll change them
more. Don't discuss it, just do it.
It's up to her if she wants to follow.
EDIT:
In elections, politicians tell the voters what they're going to do, and the voters choose their leader. If they don't choose you as their leader so be it; it's their loss. A leader who shapeshifts to appease their voters is often described as spineless, inconsistent, flip-flopper, and if they do get elected, they don't stay for long.