The fear of turning 40

[downset]

Does anyone here feel the same way about getting "old"? I just turned 36 and it all hit me like a ton of a brick today .... damn i'll be fawking 40 in 4 years!! You know for men, it is all downhill from here. Our sex drive, have to watch what i eat, no more young chicks, heart attack ect. I'm depressed about all the girls that i could have been married ... visiting sosuave and following DJ bible was a great tool until early 30's but thinking back my younger years, i could have settled with a couple of decent chicks. I was so blinded by living up this "DJ life style", i am now old, bitter and getting desperate by the day. Seriously guys, i do not want to be like some wrinkly old 56 yr old single guy living alone jerking off to my computer screen, or be on the dating website looking for "the one" that doesn't exist.

Man ... getting old really sucks :moon:

 

[Chrispy]

i am now old, bitter and getting desperate by the day

That one statement makes the fear of turning 40 a moot point. List the things you have to do to not feel this and 40 will be a milestone, not a turning point.

 

[KarmaSutra]

I'm 35 and my sh!t is getting better everyday.

It's all about your mentality from the time you open your eyes until the time you close them.

Everything in between is completely your responsibilty.

 

[sodbuster]

BOO HOO. In 6 months I'll be 50. With your outlook, I should probably swallow my gun. Getting old isn't for sissies,but I like my life more now than when I was 30[except for the really young chicks thing]

Look at all the women in the big cities looking for a man to marry and you think you have trouble finding one?

 

[STR8UP]

Does anyone here feel the same way about getting "old"? I just turned 36 and it all hit me like a ton of a brick today .... damn i'll be fawking 40 in 4 years!! You know for men, it is all downhill from here. Our sex drive, have to watch what i eat, no more young chicks, heart attack ect. I'm depressed about all the girls that i could have been married ... visiting sosuave and following DJ bible was a great tool until early 30's but thinking back my younger years, i could have settled with a couple of decent chicks. I was so blinded by living up this "DJ life style", i am now old, bitter and getting desperate by the day. Seriously guys, i do not want to be like some wrinkly old 56 yr old single guy living alone jerking off to my computer screen, or be on the dating website looking for "the one" that doesn't exist.

Man ... getting old really sucks :moon:

You have problems only YOU can solve. Good luck with that mindset.....

 

[Knight's Cross]

You think Clooney is worried,"Ohh....I'm getting old. better get married!"
Not a chance. This is another old maid/man shaming situation. As long as you are focused, stay healthy and surround yourself with opportunity you will never feel "old". Screw what society says is the "right thing to do" As in get married, settle down, have 2.5 children. It's your life and "you" are the director. Not an actor....you are the director. IF you don't believe that, then as STR8UP says you have the wrong mindset.

KC

 

[clamdigger]

Turning 40 !!

I Actually turn 40 next week , I guess if I was married id be thinking like wow im getting old . actually I was married happily married or so I thought , wife was 12 years my junior and left me for married guy from church of all places lol. I actually thanked her when it was over anyway since joining here a few months back and reading all your guys posts I am at the best point of my life ! became more social go out every weekend working on my game so far landed 19yo and 30yo, I am going Uphill for the first time in my life !! thank you guys for the great posts !!!!!

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

You know for men, it is all downhill from here. Our sex drive, have to watch what i eat, no more young chicks, heart attack ect.

Hugh Jackman (a.k.a. Wolverine) was voted sexiest man alive by People magazine this year. Age: 40

I'm depressed about all the girls that i could have been married ... visiting sosuave and following DJ bible was a great tool until early 30's but thinking back my younger years, i could have settled with a couple of decent chicks. I was so blinded by living up this "DJ life style", i am now old, bitter and getting desperate by the day. Seriously guys, i do not want to be like some wrinkly old 56 yr old single guy living alone jerking off to my computer screen, or be on the dating website looking for "the one" that doesn't exist.

Ah, the lonley old man myth rears it's head once again. Yet another feminine social convention with the latent purpose of maintaining women as the prime sexual selector.

This notion is one of the biggest AFC rationale ever perpetrated on men. Is lonelines a disease that necessitates a cure? If men could be made to believe so, think of the potential profit to be made from, and the potential for manipulation of, men. The real test for a man is how he lives with himself, alone. Precious few men ever truly allow themselves to be alone and learn real independence and self-reliance. The vast majority of guys (particularly in western culture) tend to transition from mother to wife with little or no intermission between, going from LTR to LTR until they 'settle' without ever having learned how to interact as an adult.

The fear of loneliness is entirely too exaggerated in modern western romaticism. The popularized fear-mythology of becoming the "lonely old man who never loved" is the new 'old maid' myth made popular in an era when a woman's worth was dependent upon her marital status and equally as false a premise. But in our brave new generation AFC, men (who've become women) are repackaged and shamed into believing this horsesh!t as part & parcel of feminized gender role reversal. And thus we get Speed Dating and eHarmony and a host of other "conveniences" to pacify the insecurities that this reversal instills in poor fatherless boys.

Don't buy into the powder-puff idea that if you don't find your ONE by the time you're 35 and ASAP you'll tempt fate and risk a life of quiet desperation. This contrivance only serves the interests of women who's imperative it is to enjoy their party years in their 20's with as many Jerks as they can attract and have a stable Nice Guy who's petrified he'll live a life of loneliness and solitude waiting for them at 28-30 to marry and ensure their long term security.

Don't buy this lie. The man who is comfortable with himself and confident in his true independence is the one that women will want to be associated with and to share in it. How you handle being alone and what you do with the opportunities that freedom allows is the real measure of a man.

If you're single and 50 you STILL have options if you're only brave enough to explore them. I know divorced men in their 50s who're dating mid 30s women right now and I know men in their 60s who've been trapped and emotionally blackmailed by their wives for 30 years.

 

[grinder]

Aging is a myth perpetuated by the obese and the lazy.

Any medical problems that develop are due to illness. Aging itself is not an illness.

You and you alone are responsible for taking care of your body and your life.

You reap the benefits or pay the consequences.

It’s all on you bro

 

[Warrior74]

your gonna be 40 one way or another, so kill yourself or get over it.

 

[Jeffst1980]

There are plenty of married guys that feel lonely. Don't think that "settling down" will fix this. Learn to live a complete life WITHOUT women first, then ENHANCE that life with women.

 

[Road Demon]

I think in terms of Real Age (Biological Age) vs Chronological Age. Take care of yourself, and your later model will outperform a younger model w/ the added wisdom and experience that you possess.

High Intensity Aerobic exercise, Strength training, good nutrition, supplements (omega3s, multivitamens, whey protein), and reduced stress will all lower your biological age relative to your peer groups chronological age.

Your peers (your age) that have a nagging, bon bon eating wife, a middle management job, and 2.5 kids are so stressed out they tend to neglect themselves. Their sense of life is one of duty, so don't think they have it all...

Look at the endurance athletes,they peak in the 30s and hold that peak till the 50s. The big secret is high intensity aerobic and strength training exercise to keep those youthful genes turned on. I read the primary scientific, peer reviewed journals so it's not smoke and mirrors.

Their is no reason for an in-shape, well put together, sophisticated male that has a good career (I'm not taking rich either) can't bring down females 10-15 years younger than your current age on a regular basis.

 

[Night Owl]

If you think life is over at 40, then so it will be...

A closed mind is like a closed book; just a block of wood

Like a fine wine, men improve with age.

 

[Mr. Me]

Let's see... right after I turned 50, I nailed a 32 y.o. hottie who had recently divorced and as a gift to herself, had bought two of the biggest fake boobs I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. Then there was the 25 y.o. latina who picked me up for a revenge f@ck, the 27 y.o. who "had me" over for Thanksgiving, the 18 y.o. I made out with at a bar. By 52, I had nailed a former state beauty queen. But it's not, and shouldn't be, just about girls.

One of the highlights of my life last year was filling in performing one night as the front man/singer for the band that opens and closes their late night Saturday show at The Cutting Room in NYC. There I was, downstage center, entertaining a couple of hundred of intoxicated partying people in one of Chris Noth's nightclubs.

Last year, because of my stage appearances, I got a personal invite to meet Les Paul backstage at the Iridium where he performs every Monday. I also got to meet John Pizzarelli and John Colianni. I almost... ALMOST... got to do a guest spot singing in the Rainbow Room with Colianni's jazz trio (it fell through).

One night, at 3 AM in the morning, I was eating in a diner hanging out with Tim Bogert and Carmine Appice from Vanilla Fudge, along with Carmine's girlfriend, Leslie Gold, AKA The Radio Chick. Two weeks ago, I was dancing at Nikki B's at midnight on a Saturday on top of a table with a bunch of other people and drinking free champagne at an MTV party I crashed. The other night, I was out till 3 listening to a Brazilian jazz group that had played venues like Carnegie Hall giving an intimate performance to just a handful of people in a little restaurant on 7 Ave South.

All this happened after I turned 50. You're concerned about turning 40? Hey, no one likes getting older. That doesn't mean you have to damage yourself and make yourself older then you need to be. Take care of your body and mind and you'll reap the rewards. FYI, I'm two years away from 56 and several decades away from being wrinkly. Live a little - while you're still in the upright position.

 

[ElChoclo]

You are one sorry sack of s**t. Maybe you'd prefer to be onto your 3rd wife. I know you'd sure hate to miss out on the pleasure of getting divorced a couple of times.

When you're 56, assuming you make it that far, you'll probably be a married wrinkly guy jerking off to your computer screen. Its just that suddenly, your wife will burst into the room and say, "How many times do I have to tell you to stop looking at that internet porn Downset. Get downstairs and do the dishes." and you'll say. "Yes, dear."

 

[Juando]

man, you've gotten an earful of valuable sh*t.

Relax. Breathe. Move forward.

I was an AFC at 40 and had a great time. Twenty year olds were seriously hitting on me.

Since finding SS it's been a bumpy year and the age thing is something I'm still working through.

But while I'm working through it, I have a 50's lady waiting for me back home, and tomorrow I have a date with an early 20's cutie. Disgusting.

I am prepared for more speed bumps but I'm going for it in the meanwhile- my goal is NOT to be Hugh Hefner, the goal is to be the best I can be and NOT do what you displayed here, succumb to self-imposed limitations.

You have a lot of guys here rooting for you, don't let us or you down, bud.

 

[STR8UP]

Just turned 37 a couple of months ago. In the past two weeks I've had 2 female liquor store cashiers who didn't believe that I am 37. One almost refused to sell me liquor, the other one asks, "do you get carded often"?

40yr olds picking up 20yr olds, 50 yr olds picking up 30 yr olds.....I'm pretty sure I'm good for a few years.

 

[jophil28]

Does anyone here feel the same way about getting "old"? I just turned 36 and it all hit me like a ton of a brick today .... damn i'll be fawking 40 in 4 years!!

What a fawking clueless pvssy you are.

You are about to enjoy the best time of your sorry life.

Quit feeling sorry for yourself and go bang some lucky 25 year old who loves the attentions of mature worldly men like you, me and Mr Clooney.

 

[speakeasy]

I'm going to be 33 next may. The thing that trips me out is that by the time I hit 36 or so, I have to face the realization that I've burned through about half my years so far, assuming I live to an average age. Seeing my parents aging, my mom having cancer, seeing aunts and uncles getting sick and dying, friend's parents dying and getting sick, it's just reminding me that life is short. Really short. And time seems to accelerate the older you get. When I 7 years old and a new school year started in September, it seemed like absolutely forever till June when school let out for the summer. Now that same period of time just wizzes by and I'm like damn, I can't believe this year is over already. That's one of the things that bothers me most about aging, is how time seems to accelerate in proportion to how old you are.

 

[thedeparted]

good post speakeasy. I figure I'm halfway done at 34. Life after 68? Not likely. And what have I accomplished? Not enough. Yet I continue to jerk off and waste time on loser women. All a distraction from my grander ambitions. Which I have the talent and brains to pull off if I just stay focused on it.

Sometimes I ask myself if I should just forget women entirely for now. You know once you are rich, famous, successful etc. they will be there anyway like flies on shlt. You could put all the wasted time into your own success. I wonder if "The Game" is really worth our remaining days.