Last year, when I first typed in “Dating tips” in the google search, I could have never imagined my life would be what it is now. Looking back, seeing all the success, and the mistakes I had to learn from, I am happy that all the hard work is paying off. I don’t know about you guys, but sometimes, after a great conversation, or a date with a girl, I get this awesome ticklish feeling in my chest, which puts me in the greatest mood. I say, “Damn, you are good”, and then laugh at myself some more. Actually, this doesn’t just apply to girls. Every time I do something that takes a lot of balls, or something I never thought I’d be doing… that feeling comes back.
It has been a long time since I stopped calling myself a Don Juan. It has been awhile since I’ve abandoned loads of lines and tips, wacky scripts, and stupid battle plans. Now, I am just Me. This is all I want to be.
As I mentioned, it has been over a year since I started this path to find my true self. The path lead me to all sorts of places, and all sorts of decisions and mind blowing discoveries. Many, many times I slapped myself on the head. Many, many times I smiled thinking about the girl I was making out with last night.
The title of this story might be a little depressing, but do not fear, for everything I am showing you can be changed.
Let’s start, at last.
About 4 months or so into my journey, I’ve gotten this idea drilled into my head, “Girls do not like nice guys. Girls want *******s...they might not act like they do, but they all wish for an ******* to dominate them” As you think you shall become, as my friend Pook likes to say, was never this truer. I started to change into a total *******. I never gave girls a break. If they asked me for anything, I would refuse and make them do it on their own. If they called me an *******, I would laugh and continue to treat them like ****. No matter the request, I would always say “No”… to the point where it got absurd. (Say a girl wants to walk by, but you are in the way… I wouldn’t move, she would have to squeeze really hard to get by me)
It got so bad my best friends would point out to me that I am being an idiot. At this point, I didn’t have a clear idea if the ******* theory worked or not… I was hoping it was working better than the nice guy image, but at the same time, I didn’t get any girls running to me with requests to rule their worlds.
The end of the ******* phase happened at a party, infested with hairy loud creatures called popular high school girls. Me and my friend Alex were there together, playing the game. I kept my ******* shield high. Alex on the other hand was just himself with the girls, offering massage, and letting girls dance with him. That night I went home confused, and he went home with a couple of numbers. (Which later lead to dates and so on)
The lesson I learned was that women, even though do not wish for total lack of manhood, do not wish for a man who would treat them like ****. Not every woman is thrilled by your lack of desire to help them out. Most women actually prefer a guy who is willing to lend a hand when they need help. In general, if you don’t wish to get used, ask girls for favors as well. Make her drive to your house next time. Make her cook you dinner. You do not have to demand it, but if you ask it in a right way, she will be very eager to do it.
(for example… “If you drive over to my house, and grab some whip cream on the way, I will make sure you never forget this night)
Let’s move on…
We are about 7 months into the journey now… I meet girls and I get numbers… I try to be a challenge, try to be indifferent, try to be alpha... but something doesn’t quite click… girls do not rush to me begging me for a shag.
I met a cute virgin once. She was smart, very athletic (Beautiful Hockey player), and was into me from the first day. Even after I got her in my bed, and we went to the third base, for some wicked reason I still believed I needed to be more of a challenge to get her interest level higher! She would ask me to exchange numbers, and I’d say “My number is 911-225-2332”. She would ask me what I'm doing later, and I’d say “I can’t tell you, it’s a secret”…. She would lean against me for a kiss, and I’d pull away thinking I should tease her some more… Ah…memories… filled with emotions. This girl came over my place, and after I started to undress her while making out, made a simple request, “let’s stay on top tonight”. I thought she was playing hard to get, so I tried taking her pants off in 15 minutes… she asked again, “Let’s stay on top tonight”, and I thought she was testing me… I told her to get dressed in leave. She was very confused, and asked me why was I in such a hurry to get rid of her. I called her a week later, but she would not return my calls any longer.
It was this girl who taught me this valuable lesson. After a day with me, she stated, “You are so difficult. It is like I have to climb over a wall in order to get anything out of you”.
The lesson I learned was, “The best way to get the girl is to be sincere. If you like her, kiss her. If you start losing interest in her, take a break. If the girl acts like she enjoys time she spends with you, don’t make it more complicated by throwing crazy techniques into the mix”. Somebody once said, “In order for a relationship to work, one party can not be using strategy”. I say, “In order for a relationship to be great, neither party should be relying on strategies.”
One of the biggest mistakes I’ve notice myself making was the creating of my Ego tower. I thought I knew the secrets to women. I knew the strategies and the moves they used, and how to beat them. I saw guys act like chumps in front of women, and think, “Gosh, look at these chumps, they have no idea what they are doing. I, on the other, do. How awesome is it to be me. There is nobody better.” From this egomaniac stand point, my vision of the world was blurry as hell. Every time I would **** up with a woman, I’d say, “She is just dumb and doesn’t see how great I am. Stupid chick”. Every time I talked to a girl I thought, “She likes me… how can she not like me, I am a great DJ after all.” I thought every girl I talked to wanted me. Dead serious.
This ego tower is a dangerous thing. It is very hard to admit being worse than you actually are. It is very hard to admit you were wrong. However, this is the only way to start learning the world for what it really is.
An egomaniac DJ will turn a situation into his favor, even if he just got the **** kicked out of him for trying to kiss a girl. He will make fun of other guys, who are actually doing better with girls than he is.
If you think you are a god’s gift to women, think again. Are you actually hurting your game by overrating yourself?
The last note I have is about the times I did everything by the book. I looked for the sings of interest, I ended the calls first, I never left a message on an answering machine. I would count “1,2,3” before coming up to a girl and starting a convo. I didn’t get very good results.
The confusion started climbing into my head when I was noticing other successful guys around women. I would observe and run a check list, “Ok, he is using Kino… check. She is playing with her hair… check. She just told him to grab her some candy, and he went and did it… Hey, stop the presses, that doesn’t compute… That is not the right move… Hey, wait, now they are making out! What the hell, he just told her she was very pretty… no, no, what are you doing, chump?!! Wait a second; they are going to the bedroom kissing! That does not compute damnit!”
Notice how I thought like a machine loaded with different “What to do//What not to do” scripts. What I failed to realize is that we are HUMANS. And, thus, we are all different. Different things work on different girl. Yet, most girls are simply attracted to the guy who is simply in peace with himself.
This, by far, is the longest post I’ve ever written. I typed all this because I’ve seen guys on this board making the same mistakes, and I really hope this will clear some of the confusion in your heads. I know this site is a big messy pot of random suggestions. You might think it will take years to organize all this, and shelf it around in your mind. However, that is the hard way.
If you asked me today what my strategy with women was, I would reply, “The strategy to women is being happy with yourself, and believing in yourself first and foremost. When you realize that you are indeed a great guy, and that women always love meeting great guys, it is quite easy to chat up any girl and leave her with a great impression. This isn’t a giant puzzle you have to solve in order to be good with women. Be a good guy, not a nice guy. Be a funny guy who can bust their balls, who can make them feel special, but at the same time isn’t afraid to walk away. Remember, everything changes every instant, girls come and go, along with styles, morals, and ideals. Do not try to change yourself to fit everything else. Make yourself first, and fit the world to your liking.
Good luck to all my friend here at sosuave.
Dennis. Oct 26, 2004.
It has been a long time since I stopped calling myself a Don Juan. It has been awhile since I’ve abandoned loads of lines and tips, wacky scripts, and stupid battle plans. Now, I am just Me. This is all I want to be.
As I mentioned, it has been over a year since I started this path to find my true self. The path lead me to all sorts of places, and all sorts of decisions and mind blowing discoveries. Many, many times I slapped myself on the head. Many, many times I smiled thinking about the girl I was making out with last night.
The title of this story might be a little depressing, but do not fear, for everything I am showing you can be changed.
Let’s start, at last.
About 4 months or so into my journey, I’ve gotten this idea drilled into my head, “Girls do not like nice guys. Girls want *******s...they might not act like they do, but they all wish for an ******* to dominate them” As you think you shall become, as my friend Pook likes to say, was never this truer. I started to change into a total *******. I never gave girls a break. If they asked me for anything, I would refuse and make them do it on their own. If they called me an *******, I would laugh and continue to treat them like ****. No matter the request, I would always say “No”… to the point where it got absurd. (Say a girl wants to walk by, but you are in the way… I wouldn’t move, she would have to squeeze really hard to get by me)
It got so bad my best friends would point out to me that I am being an idiot. At this point, I didn’t have a clear idea if the ******* theory worked or not… I was hoping it was working better than the nice guy image, but at the same time, I didn’t get any girls running to me with requests to rule their worlds.
The end of the ******* phase happened at a party, infested with hairy loud creatures called popular high school girls. Me and my friend Alex were there together, playing the game. I kept my ******* shield high. Alex on the other hand was just himself with the girls, offering massage, and letting girls dance with him. That night I went home confused, and he went home with a couple of numbers. (Which later lead to dates and so on)
The lesson I learned was that women, even though do not wish for total lack of manhood, do not wish for a man who would treat them like ****. Not every woman is thrilled by your lack of desire to help them out. Most women actually prefer a guy who is willing to lend a hand when they need help. In general, if you don’t wish to get used, ask girls for favors as well. Make her drive to your house next time. Make her cook you dinner. You do not have to demand it, but if you ask it in a right way, she will be very eager to do it.
(for example… “If you drive over to my house, and grab some whip cream on the way, I will make sure you never forget this night)
Let’s move on…
We are about 7 months into the journey now… I meet girls and I get numbers… I try to be a challenge, try to be indifferent, try to be alpha... but something doesn’t quite click… girls do not rush to me begging me for a shag.
I met a cute virgin once. She was smart, very athletic (Beautiful Hockey player), and was into me from the first day. Even after I got her in my bed, and we went to the third base, for some wicked reason I still believed I needed to be more of a challenge to get her interest level higher! She would ask me to exchange numbers, and I’d say “My number is 911-225-2332”. She would ask me what I'm doing later, and I’d say “I can’t tell you, it’s a secret”…. She would lean against me for a kiss, and I’d pull away thinking I should tease her some more… Ah…memories… filled with emotions. This girl came over my place, and after I started to undress her while making out, made a simple request, “let’s stay on top tonight”. I thought she was playing hard to get, so I tried taking her pants off in 15 minutes… she asked again, “Let’s stay on top tonight”, and I thought she was testing me… I told her to get dressed in leave. She was very confused, and asked me why was I in such a hurry to get rid of her. I called her a week later, but she would not return my calls any longer.
It was this girl who taught me this valuable lesson. After a day with me, she stated, “You are so difficult. It is like I have to climb over a wall in order to get anything out of you”.
The lesson I learned was, “The best way to get the girl is to be sincere. If you like her, kiss her. If you start losing interest in her, take a break. If the girl acts like she enjoys time she spends with you, don’t make it more complicated by throwing crazy techniques into the mix”. Somebody once said, “In order for a relationship to work, one party can not be using strategy”. I say, “In order for a relationship to be great, neither party should be relying on strategies.”
One of the biggest mistakes I’ve notice myself making was the creating of my Ego tower. I thought I knew the secrets to women. I knew the strategies and the moves they used, and how to beat them. I saw guys act like chumps in front of women, and think, “Gosh, look at these chumps, they have no idea what they are doing. I, on the other, do. How awesome is it to be me. There is nobody better.” From this egomaniac stand point, my vision of the world was blurry as hell. Every time I would **** up with a woman, I’d say, “She is just dumb and doesn’t see how great I am. Stupid chick”. Every time I talked to a girl I thought, “She likes me… how can she not like me, I am a great DJ after all.” I thought every girl I talked to wanted me. Dead serious.
This ego tower is a dangerous thing. It is very hard to admit being worse than you actually are. It is very hard to admit you were wrong. However, this is the only way to start learning the world for what it really is.
An egomaniac DJ will turn a situation into his favor, even if he just got the **** kicked out of him for trying to kiss a girl. He will make fun of other guys, who are actually doing better with girls than he is.
If you think you are a god’s gift to women, think again. Are you actually hurting your game by overrating yourself?
The last note I have is about the times I did everything by the book. I looked for the sings of interest, I ended the calls first, I never left a message on an answering machine. I would count “1,2,3” before coming up to a girl and starting a convo. I didn’t get very good results.
The confusion started climbing into my head when I was noticing other successful guys around women. I would observe and run a check list, “Ok, he is using Kino… check. She is playing with her hair… check. She just told him to grab her some candy, and he went and did it… Hey, stop the presses, that doesn’t compute… That is not the right move… Hey, wait, now they are making out! What the hell, he just told her she was very pretty… no, no, what are you doing, chump?!! Wait a second; they are going to the bedroom kissing! That does not compute damnit!”
Notice how I thought like a machine loaded with different “What to do//What not to do” scripts. What I failed to realize is that we are HUMANS. And, thus, we are all different. Different things work on different girl. Yet, most girls are simply attracted to the guy who is simply in peace with himself.
This, by far, is the longest post I’ve ever written. I typed all this because I’ve seen guys on this board making the same mistakes, and I really hope this will clear some of the confusion in your heads. I know this site is a big messy pot of random suggestions. You might think it will take years to organize all this, and shelf it around in your mind. However, that is the hard way.
If you asked me today what my strategy with women was, I would reply, “The strategy to women is being happy with yourself, and believing in yourself first and foremost. When you realize that you are indeed a great guy, and that women always love meeting great guys, it is quite easy to chat up any girl and leave her with a great impression. This isn’t a giant puzzle you have to solve in order to be good with women. Be a good guy, not a nice guy. Be a funny guy who can bust their balls, who can make them feel special, but at the same time isn’t afraid to walk away. Remember, everything changes every instant, girls come and go, along with styles, morals, and ideals. Do not try to change yourself to fit everything else. Make yourself first, and fit the world to your liking.
Good luck to all my friend here at sosuave.
Dennis. Oct 26, 2004.
