The ex is back and I'm getting sucked in

[jonwon]

Ok, so my gf of 4 years left me last summer to go be with another guy. At first she lied about why we were breaking up because I'm sensitive and she didn't want me to know. Well, she even told me initially that she thinks im better for her in the long term but we are too young to settle down.

Fast forward to now and I have started talking to her again and she confesses to me that she made a huge mistake and blew it with a wonderful guy. She said she is not happy in her new relationship and she wants to try to rekindle th ings with me. She said she doesn't deserve another chance either. I even told her I am interested in another girl and she said maybe I should pursue that instead but next thing you know we are talking like best friends again.

We had plans to see each other this upcoming week but I just emailed her saying to forget it. That as long as she is still with this guy we should not hang out. The last thing she said before this was that "things are pretty much over with ***" the new guy. Well I don't know what that means. To me that sounds like she doesn't know. So should I just drop her and move on? I am very shy and dont have alot of experience with women so I guess that could be part of the reason why I am thinking about taking her back.

regardless of the topic.

Rhino, your a good looking guy, not trying to make this a looks thread, but seriously your lack of success is not due to anything physical, it is totally and utterly mental.

For example, attractive guys have it slightly easier when it comes to opening the chicks - they and no one can deny have advantages, but this means jack Shi8, if that guy doens't act on his attributes.

Now instead of focusing on this ex, I suggest you get out there and open the numbers, you maybe suprised.

Edit - The reason I dont want to discuss looks as the be all end all, is simply because effort and getting out there trumps looks, like the thread starter an attractive guy who is thinking about going back to a cheating EX - If for example you put him alongside someone less attractive on these boards but someone who is vastly more successful, you will see the disparity.

Whilst the thread starter is worrying about going back with an ex, an attractive guy - there are many guys without this level of looks, going out there, putting the balls on the line and tapping far better as* than this guy is, until of course he changes his attitude and understands his self worth.

And that's a key, self worth, self projection -

There are many guys who are not blessed in the looks department sleeping with attractive women - likewise there are many attractive men, thinking about fuc*ing the Ex who treated them like dirt, because they simply lack the options for more women.

OP this is your problem, your living inside your head - where as men more successful than you have a postive mental self image, your on a destructive path of your own choosing due to your self projection.

Going back to the ex is a bad move, only exemplified by the fact a guy with your attributes, if you put the slightest bit of effort in, would see results.

A guy not as gifted in the looks department may have to try a little harder, but for example if he opened up 10 girls, to your zero, he has 10 x the potential for success.

He may have to open up a slightly higher % based on his value, than you do but on the other hand if guys like yourself dont even get off the starting block, any man regardless of his outside appearance will chump you every day of the week and guys like yourself will either get 'lucky' or wait for girls like the ex to fall back in your lap.

part of being a man is to create options, it's a right of passage, or be left with the chaff.

 

[46and2aheadofme]

Honestly this girl has exhibited more red flags than the Soviet Union.

And not to mention she is just f*cking weird. No wonder she is with the ugly/ loser boyfriend- what do you think that says about her? I wonder if she wears gas masks and voodoo sh*t while she is getting pounded by her new boy. Where do you find these girls?

You clearly still have feelings for her so the best thing to do is just (like has already been said) go no contact.

Avoid her like the plague. Every time you think about her just imagine her boyfriend finishing all over her face. The only solace you can get from this situation is to acknowledge that this guy got your sloppy seconds, and that she missed out big time by dropping and disrespecting you the way she did.

Please do not let her have her cake and eat it too. It pisses me off that men in our society have gotten so pvssy-whipped that they will let girls do this to them and still allow them to have what they want. She does not belong with you- she belongs on the f*cking sci-fi channel. You can do WAY better.

Seriously do it for yourself. Do it for future successes. Do it for everyone on this forum. Do it for Manhood.

Drop this stupid, 5 at best, weird, sadistic, wrist cutting, slvt and go find yourself a quality girl. They are out there.

 

[5string]

DON'T GET BACK WITH HER! She can't be trusted and disrespected you.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

She lied to you as to why she was breaking up with you and also left you for another guy. And now that it's not working well with him, she comes crawling back to you.

She is also STILL in her new relationship and wants to branch swing back to you before leaving the new guy.

Your ex-girlfriend seems to have problems with being single. She also seems very dependent on having a boyfriend which is not a good indication of a quality woman.

If you take her back, you will only be used as a place holder until she finds someone new. Trust me when I say your relationship and connection with her won't return to the way it was.

You said it yourself, your deciding whether or not to take her back is based on fear. The fear that you may not find another because you doubt your "skills" in attaining women.

In order to be successful with women you must first respect yourself. In getting back with your ex would be an action of self-disrespect.

Respect yourself and move on.

If you don't respect yourself, how can others respect you?

-SchoolBoy​

Great post! +100 on this! Your ex is a dependent, insecure low quality 'ho.





PIMP

 

[Rhino22]

Wow, thanks guys. And yeah, I pretty much blew ber off in the least spiteful way. I told her that I don't think it's a good idea to hang out if she is still with this dude (even though she said "things are pretty m uch over").

She responded with, "I kinda figured you would change your mind. Sounds fair to me I guess. I'll be down in ***** for quite a while regardless so if you change your mind give me a call,
Best,
******"


I think she expects me to change my mind again and call her or atleast respond to her message. I'm not gonna do either.

 

[WhitePimp]

Edited - because I'm in a good mood

 

[Rhino22]

And as far as hookin up with new chicks goes...I think girls are intimidated by me. But I'm intimidated by them so yeah it never works. I think its that whole fear of acceptance thing.

I actually had a girl that I dated (met online and she was probably a 7 but not really my "type") tell me that she was nervous by me and when she first met me thought I was gonna be ****y ,and that if I wanted to I could get away with being ****y. I asked her why and she said because she found me very attractive and she is actually more comfortable with guys that are not so attractive. She said had she seen me walking down the street or something she would be interested but look away and would only talk with me if I approached her and "gave her the green light." So yeah, I know I just need to get out there and approach. She even told me that I was the first guy she has ever met that she found very attractive and wasn't a douche bag that was stuck on himself...

 

[Rhino22]

I dare someone to prank call this b!tch! :yes:

Oh not cool. I didn't mean to leave that number in there.

Seriously, delete it. Thank you.