the ex back again

duttylove

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ok if u been readin my posts lately you will know i split up wtih my girl recently, not afraid to admit that i am hurtin abit, will get over it.

she said after we broke up that she wants to be friends ( the break up was kind of mutual but mostly her part because i questiond her about something) but i told her i dont think i can be friends and left it at that. after a few days of ignoring her constant messages and not talking to her she wants to get back with me! she misses me and thinks she made a big mistake. i got burned and suspected alot of bullsh1t in the relationship. thought she might be cheatin on me but cant prove it. im not that insecure am only trusting my on judgements. (could be completly wrong of course)

the problem is that i do want to be with this girl, she is friends with alot of my friends so will see her alot of the time. here is where im confuesed

do i want to get back with her because i want to be with her? or because i dont want to see her with any other guys. i know only i can answer that really but any advice form any one whos felt the same would be nice.

so here is the real question i want to ask. i believe i can get back with this girl and use her for regular sex with no emotional ties on my part while i look for other girls or should i just leave it and stay friends or whatever with her, either way i do not trust this hor and wil not let my self be fooed into trusting her
 

Dominant

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I think you only want to be with her because you don't want to see her with other guys. This is my recent experience with my most recent ex-gf.

And I don't think you should use her for casual sex. It's won't be emotion-less (espeically from her end) and it won't be no-strings-attached, even if she claims it is.

Get out there and meet other women.

-Dominant
 

FrancoPUA

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You could use her as Pivot while having sex with her. If you cannot trust her then it is better to not consider her a girlfriend and I doubt you can consider her even a friend if you do not trust her.

Using her as Pivot will give you a lot of advantages (especially if she is good looking):
- Social proof towards other chicks which will increase your attractivness to them
- Social proof towards your former girlfriend because she will see you seducing other women in front of her
- Maybe - if you like these kind of pleasures - you can also use her to have group sex with other chicks, bisexual or not

At the same time you look for a new girlfriend for yourself. I doubt you can be with this one if you cannot trust her.

Also if your gut feelings tell you that she is not trustful chances are big that she is not.

About your love to her and your emotions to her: you write like you would be the only one responsible for your relationship. She has her part of responsibility and should be more respectful of you if she wants to be your girlfriend. In a relationship BOTH should work for it to succeed and not only you.
 

jakeyboy

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IMO, and judging by the way you felt a bit hurt when you guys parted, it wouldnt be easy for you to simply have casual sex with her with no emotional ties on your part.

oh just to let you know, in my experience, when a girl tells me she wants to be friends after a breakup, she thinks of it as a sort of consolement "we can still be friends..." basically she thinks of you as a loser. you could think she meant it otherwise but somehow it just doesnt work for me to be friends with someone i was intimate with, it feels strange, so i usually tell them "no thanks, i've got enough friends" its not going to be easy for you to pretend to be friends with her. so i would advise you not to be "friends" with her

go out and meet new people, get her off your mind, have fun with your mates and stop worrying about her, if her interest level is that high (and it should be) she'll come crawling back eventually
 

squirrels

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If you DO take her back, make her CRAWL first. You don't want to make it easy for her to come back into your life, or she'll feel like she can leave and come back whenever things aren't the way SHE wants them.

Make sure that she knows she's LUCKY to even have had a CHANCE of getting you back. And if she won't realize THAT much, then throw her to the curb and find a girl who WILL.

I'll leave how you do that up to you. May not be possible...in which case it's over. :p
 

spider_007

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i believe i can get back with this girl and use her for regular sex with no emotional ties on my part while i look for other girls or should i just leave it and stay friends or whatever with her, either way i do not trust this hor and wil not let my self be fooed into trusting her [/B]


you just answered your own quiestion
 

NewMan

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If you have to ask yourself the question - then the answer is obvious.

You do not love her - you just don't want to see her with other guys.

If you hang out together it will be hard for you. This is a good reason why you should not mix freinds and lovers (dipping your c#ck in the friend pool).

S#x will not be emotionless from her end. If you hang out with her and your friends - and you persue the road of using her just for s#x - it's going to get ugly. I wouldn't do it.
 
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