The Essential Role of Men in sex

[jhonny9546]

Understanding the Role of Men in Sexual Relationships

We know that a man should be the "expert" and the "guide" in sexual relationships. This role MUST, at the very least, extend to the realm of sex as well.

Yes, a man can be uncertain or vague about sex and can be led by a woman, or he might simply engage in passive "yes" sex.
However, that is not how it should be, right? A man should take on the role of the guide and craft the experience. He should at least possess knowledge and understand when and how to apply it effectively.

The Problem

Many young men, like myself, have limited experience with because of many LTR and not many. Consequently, they may have little understanding of what constitutes "good" sex or lack comprehensive knowledge about it. Most may only know about 30% to 40% of what they should. It is essential for men to be knowledgeable about this topic. A man should strive to be like an encyclopedia rich in sexual knowledge. In fact, having numerous experiences with different women does not guarantee quality. You can have poor sex with ten models and learn little to nothing, while a single encounter with an experienced woman can transform you into a "sex god."



So, how do you address this gap in knowledge? There are sex workers or experienced women who can teach a man how to be a better guide in sexual experiences. How often would you consider visiting them? How do you find the right one? How do you keep private/discrection?

I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Have you had any experiences with a woman who taught you everything? If so, how was that experience for you?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic.

What do you hope to glean?

Have you had any experiences with a woman who taught you everything?

Yes, a woman in her late twenties taught me when I was in my teens.

If so, how was that experience for you?

Great while it lasted, depressing when it ended, because I was too young and the girls my age were not ready for sex yet

 

[Salvation]

Just find some girl, have sex with her regularly and try to make the sex good and learn and try stuff from 'how to be great in bed' literature. Imo i think it's about having moves and finding out which of them work best on this specific woman.
Then do this with the next girl also, and so on.
Just having sex doesnt make one better imo, having lots of one night stands also i don't think helps much.

I don't think one learns sex from women.. i guess they could tease you and you learn that from them, but not so much.
Prostitutes even worse, they are mostly just like 'what position do you want? ok' and then wait for you to ***

 

[parabellum]

It’s possible to be in only one LTR and have lots of sex. Of course, if you choose to always do the same, you’re not gonna be learning much.

I’d consider a man is ok in bed if he can make a woman *** repeatedly with at least 3/4 of these: words, fingers, tongue, and D.

4/4 is ideal. Then there are other things you can do, but i think its pointless without having mastered those 4.

 

[The Duke]

The first girl I had sex with was 30yrs ago, we were both in high school. I was her 3rd partner.

I had no idea how it all worked, but I never spent much time thinking nor was Iconcerned beforehand on if I would be good, do it correctly, or whatever. Back then we did not have thousands of resources at our fingertips to increase our knowledge. The internet wasn't a thing yet.

I pretty much laid on top of her, with her facing me and busted a nut within 10min. I didn't even know how to put my penis inside her, she did that part for us. It was the absolute worst position to have sex in. I would score myself a 3/10.

With each time, I gained more understanding and became more adventurous. I became more curious. Once in a while I would hang out at a book store and read the books about sex. A year later, sex is pretty hot and we are buying sex toys. By then I had learned her body more and it was no longer awkward or lacking. By the time we had internet access I soaked up everything I could. All the kamasutra positions, how to make women orgasm tutorials, etc.

My advice is to be open to learning and exploring. The right girl will be understanding if you lack experience. BUT, and its a major flaw in many of you younger guys..........you guys lack confidence and paralyze yourself by overthinking. A man still had to be confident, aware, and put forth effort. I got good at sex without a forum to ask questions on, without p0rnhub, without youtube, without a million sex-tutorial.com sites. Pretty much had the bookstore, and Playboy. That was it.

You don't exactly need a teacher to learn how to have great sex. You just need a willing partner that is understanding and a desire to become good.

You could visit a sex worker, however it would take the right one that would be willing to take the lead and give you pointers. One that does incalls and has her own studio would probably be the best place to start. Definitely not some hotel hooker.

I'd recommend watching some of the semi-pro/amateur couples on P0rnHub. Couples that actually care for each other, and its not just a job and they don't even know each other. They have the hottest and most real sex. There are plenty of videos on how to make girls squirt on there.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Orgasms more frequent for women partnered with attractive, manly men: study

Women have more frequent orgasms when mated to masculine, dominant men, a new study shows, and that may encourage conception

nationalpost.com

What we all know:

Be attractive & manly.
Have a big dvck.

Also. Have stamina and a good finger game.

 

[jhonny9546]

I'd recommend watching some of the semi-pro/amateur couples on P0rnHub. Couples that actually care for each other, and its not just a job and they don't even know each other. They have the hottest and most real sex. There are plenty of videos on how to make girls squirt on there.

If you have any link about this channels and videos that would be of help, since I do not watch porn so often, please share (on DM's of course) or here if possible.

Be attractive & manly.
Have a big dvck.

Those are things you can't change for many men.

Just find some girl, have sex with her regularly and try to make the sex good and learn and try stuff from 'how to be great in bed' literature.

And this is what i've done for the last 10 years, but I can feel I need the help of a "superior" woman that can teach me, given her broader experience.

What do you hope to glean?
Yes, a woman in her late twenties taught me when I was in my teens.

Do you think this helped you in your next sex experiences?

I think that knowledge give men power. So having more knowledge about sex, can give you more power when having sex.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Go find the video series Two Women Teach Sex and then watch it until you know the content forward and backward and put into action what you learn.

Thank me later

 

[Salvation]

You think some random 'experienced' woman (so just some older woman that ****ed a bit more dudes) knows more than a person that wrote a ****in book about Sex. Nah.

Women don't teach. Prostitutes don't teach.

You try stuff that you read in eg sexgodmethod, omgyes.com, kinkuniversity, alexey welsh.. then see their reaction and ask them about later. You have trust with them and you talk with them what specific physical stuff she likes, what fantasies she has, what specific aspects of the fantasies turn her on.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

You have trust with them and you talk with them what specific physical stuff she likes, what fantasies she has, what specific aspects of the fantasies turn her on.

Indeed, you need to build trust so they can drop their shame and talk freely about their sexual wishes. I make a distinction between wishes (that you'd like fulfilled) and fantasies (cool in the imagination, probably not worth trying out in real life), so I tell them they can keep their fantasies private unless they become wishes.

And, of course, knowing what they want means giving them only what they need. We're not in the wish fulfilment business.

 

[RickTheToad]

One, OP, you are thinking too much about this. Two, practice makes perfect. If she's really into you, there really isn't much work involved. Remember, it's more in a female's head than anywhere else. Three, she's there to please you, not vice versa. You do not want to be subservient to a female.

 

[Murk]

You need to lead ultimately, take what you've learned from the many h0es we bang and refine that. It's mostly mental, are you in the right frame of mind to even give a f*ck what she wants? You can get by doing what you want, getting off and getting out... but I find sometimes you have to go out of your way to please her too. I started out as a pleasing lover, naive, nervous, then a lazy selfish lover for the most part as I learned the game, now I'm with a girl I love, I begrudgingly look out for what's best for her. Making her happy makes me happy in the long term. It's give and take ultimately. For me I learned that through experience, but really it's inate within us, to be fair. I have to admit I didn't really read the OP I skim most of the sh*t here.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You think some random 'experienced' woman (so just some older woman that ****ed a bit more dudes) knows more than a person that wrote a ****in book about Sex. Nah.

Women don't teach. Prostitutes don't teach.

You try stuff that you read in eg sexgodmethod, omgyes.com, kinkuniversity, alexey welsh.. then see their reaction and ask them about later. You have trust with them and you talk with them what specific physical stuff she likes, what fantasies she has, what specific aspects of the fantasies turn her on.

They are two pornstars so yeah, they probably know more about sex than all those other people combined.

And they show what they know in several hours worth of videos in graphic detail with explanations including having those acts performed on them.

Sounds like you could probably be taught quite a bit by women based on your attitude.

They probably have forgotten more than you'll ever know about the topic, so I will have to disagree. And pretty much every women has immensely enjoyed what I've learned from those videos.

 

[jhonny9546]

And pretty much every women has immensely enjoyed what I've learned from those videos.

You try stuff that you read in eg sexgodmethod, omgyes.com, kinkuniversity, alexey welsh

Are those things legit or just a way they make money today?

you need to build trust so they can drop their shame and talk freely about their sexual wishes

If a woman send you screenshot of erotica literature she read, does that mean you succeded at it?

You do not want to be subservient to a female.

But I want it to make more like an experience.
Do anyone here just make raw sex or also think about making it an experience like (connecting it to a dinner, some kind of activities you've done before, or while painting/drawing togheter, etc).
Yes raw sex is good sometimes, but if you have a sort of activity or experience connected to it, it would be unforgettable.

 

[Salvation]

They are two pornstars so yeah, they probably know more about sex than all those other people combined.
And they show what they know in several hours worth of videos in graphic detail with explanations including having those acts performed on them.

Misunderstanding happened here by a circumstance. My answer was for OP, him talking about having sex with experienced women will help him so much, i don't think thats a great way to get better in sex - that's why i wrote 'random women don't really teach you much just by having sex with them', and that sex-products are better. I started writing that post, did something else in the middle, and then finished writing and pressed 'send'. You talk about the product '2 girls teach sex', i also watched that and think it's good.

 

[Salvation]

Are those things legit or just a way they make money today?

Gotta admit i didn't pay. I guess with buying stuff probably books are very cheap, and like everything i guess there is already a ton of stuff on youtube for free.

If a woman send you screenshot of erotica literature she read, does that mean you succeded at it?

I think you succeed when you know the fantasy, then know what specific aspects of the fantasy turn her on (eg her being handled like the most precious thing, or more often her being handled like a piece of meat because the man is just so lustful for her), then using that information in sex. I eg talked to one girl playing a roleplay, playing role of sweet boyfriend kissing her goodbye in her room in her boarding school, saying it's no problem that door will be unlocked because it's holiday and all other girls are away anyway, only the janitor is there; then said sleep well, she pretended to sleep, i left out of the door, then i came back 5minutes later as the 'janitor' and played 'raping' her 'while she sleeps'. I just recreated a fantasy she had

But I want it to make more like an experience. Do anyone here just make raw sex or also think about making it an experience like (connecting it to a dinner, some kind of activities you've done before, or while painting/drawing togheter, etc).

Like your idea. I guess closest i got to that was just ****ing outside, eg at a lake in darkness, with people in vicinity. Or on balcony in daytime, or playground at night. Or more sensual, continuing to ****ing after a massage, or **** stuff is kinda more 'eventful' than just ****ing. Just changing rooms (eg starting sex in living room, going to bedroom, then to bathroom for some sqirting stuff) also gives some variety.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

If a woman send you screenshot of erotica literature she read, does that mean you succeded at it?

Like @Salvation says, it's a step in the right direction. She's announcing that she's a sexual being, but you still need to open her up about her wishes and fantasies.

 

[DJ Novice]

Know how to use foreplay, your tongue and your fingers in addition to your trouser python.
Mix things up, alternate tenderness with (consensual) aggression, use surprise and variety.
Women crave romance, novelty, excitement and being lusted after.
If you think a woman enjoys the same meal being eaten at the same time on the same day cooked in the same way you will be sadly mistaken.
A woman’s s*xual desire usually falls rapidly in monogamous relationships, particularly if you live with her or see her often. Most guys cease doing the things they did when they first dated her and become lazy. You can do many things with women but once you become boring to her then she will dry up quicker than the Sahara desert.

 

[RickTheToad]

Are those things legit or just a way they make money today?

If a woman send you screenshot of erotica literature she read, does that mean you succeded at it?

But I want it to make more like an experience.
Do anyone here just make raw sex or also think about making it an experience like (connecting it to a dinner, some kind of activities you've done before, or while painting/drawing togheter, etc).
Yes raw sex is good sometimes, but if you have a sort of activity or experience connected to it, it would be unforgettable.

It's best, in my opinion, to just do it randomly so it's not planned. Planned is boring. Sometimes in the bathroom when she's getting ready, wake up sex, kitchen sex, work sex, etc. Pool and spa sex is cool too (one needs to have their own pool or spa though). Worst thing you can do is be predictable and boring.

 

[jhonny9546]

A woman’s s*xual desire usually falls rapidly in monogamous relationships, particularly if you live with her or see her often.

Comprehensible.
Im in a 1 year LTR with a woman, and she send me those screenshot of things she read, and when she does, it's like dealing with a nymph. But I do suspect she use sex to control me, because I think she is "BPD" or "psycho". (so many shared characteristics btw).

It's best, in my opinion, to just do it randomly so it's not planned. Planned is boring. Sometimes in the bathroom when she's getting ready, wake up sex, kitchen sex, work sex, etc. Pool and spa sex is cool too (one needs to have their own pool or spa though). Worst thing you can do is be predictable and boring.

I convey this. Not planned (for her), because you plan 10 minutes before what you'll do next.
How sex do usually last in this pattern?