The essence of ****y and Funny: arrogant assumptiveness!!

[jonny football hero]

Wow, you almost look as good as me!

 

[saki]

this is great ****, good ideas and not too cheesy

 

[ToughGuy]

BIBLE MATERIAL!!

Hello Moderator,
This post includes the basic ingrediants to "make" your spontaneous coky and funny stuff. and hence is good for the newbees.
So it should be added to DJBible.

 

[Matt Rogers]

Few more.

A few lines I love are "you are ruining your chances with me" and "if we are to have a future together"

For example:

"If we are to have a future together, you really have to stop wearing those long skirts. I won't accept anything less than miniskirts" said in a stern serious voice with a grin afterwards

If she does something that is not satisfactory to you, say in a mock serious voice "You are ruining your chances with me"

e.g.
Me: Can you cook?
She: No
Me "Well if we are going to have a future together I am afraid you will have to learn. I get hungry sometimes you know?" All said with a smirk

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Watch out for this!

CF is good to be used as a spice, a little here and a little there! Don't over use it, 'cause you'll be trying too hard (this also applies to being funny).

In the beginning I lost the essence of CF and I was being more C than F. I must tell you that it gave me a sense of power, and I was getting addicted to this. But later a friend of mine said "what arrogance man"! That was the time I realized I lost the essence of CF. After, I talked to him and he said I was being a d!ckhead. I was using it too much and pushing too hard!

Be careful with this CF thing, 'cause you can get burned!

The best CF comebacks that were used by me were better when I was relaxed, happy, and a little inspired.

So if you're not in a good day or something similar, avoid CF 'cause you'll probably be C and not F!

Just some insights from my experience!

 

[One on One]

There's way too much arrogance in these lines. What you're overlooking is that these lines are only going to work on high IL women and, with them, it doesn't matter what you say! Try these on a woman that is undecided on you and you'll come off way too arrogant!

 

[Matt Rogers]

Good point oneto one.
I definitely would not overuse these lines. One of two each date is probably a good idea, and it is essential to make it obvious with your bodylanguage you are being completely tongue in cheek.

Also definitely not if you are very good looking. Best used on good looking girls when you are only average

 

[Matt Rogers]

One of my favourite comebacks to I have a boyfriend is as follows:

"Well, I am known as the man who makes boyfriends jealous"

Another ****y and funny thing I like to do is to use very corny chat up lines on girls at bars, in a very smooth, come on fashion. For example:

"So,....come here often?"
"So, do you believe in love at first sight, or shall I walk past again?"
"If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"

I also like using outrageously insincere lines. Such as:
"You know, falling in love is easy. It is just a matter of sitting next to the right girl at a bar"

"How does it feel to be one half of the most attractive couple on the dancefloor"

As many others have said, these lines are incredibly arrogant and you have to make it quite clear to the girl that you are taking the piss. Try a few lighter lines on her and if she gets it and plays along and flirts back up the intensity a bit. If you communicate this, then she will interpret it as confidence-as you are just having fun and messing around.

 

[Matt Rogers]

Props to jason for reminding me of another area you can use ****y and funny, when you are engaged in physical contact with a woman.

For example it was a girl's birthday and I gave her a present and she hugged me, I said "easy now. I know you are not used to receiving gifts from attractive men but there is no need to throw yourself at me"

Another time, I made a sly remark and a girl punched me jokingly on the arm. When you get good at C&F this will happen a lot.

At the time I said
"You punch like a girl" with a smirk

but I could have also said something like
"Owwww." in an exagerrated taking the piss way
"You aren't going to be one of these girls who get drunk, come home and beat their husbands are you?"
"When you do that I pretend it hurts, but really it turns me on. How did you know i was into masochism?"
"Do you always hurt the people you love?" in a earnest disappointed sort of way

Another funny thing to do is to whenever she kisses you, touches your ass or something, accuse her of sexually harassing you. This is even funnier if you started off the kino!

Another thing I got from David D is to if she touches you to raise an eyebrow and say "Really" in a mock questioning tone.

Lots of possibilities. Experiment and have fun!!!

 

[LikerOfWomen]

Very good stuff!

The only thing I've gotta wonder about is making fun of her degree... yeah, you're right, it's a phony degree. But it seems like you're just putting her down rather than making her laugh at herself... that one's a bit too heavy on the ****y and light on the funny I think.

Other than that, they're great. And I think you've hit on the point I've begun to realize, too... tongue-in-cheek presumptiveness is a great way to go. With this girl I've been seeing, I've stopped asking her to do things, and started mentioning things I want to do as if she's already agreed to them. I don't ask, "do you want to come over and watch this movie with me?" I say, "So when you come over to watch this movie we're gonna have to finish (blah blah blah whatever)..." If I have to ask a question, I don't ask, "Do you want to..." Instead it's "When do you want to..." or some other thing that assumes she's said yes and seeks more details.

I've also started speaking matter-of-factly about my great power and wealth... with outrageous details so I'm obviously joking but in a serious, confident tone. It's a great way to be playful and seem powerful and ambitious without seeming dishonest or arrogant. For example, saying, "I'm buying Australia next week," in a casual, routine tone, as if you've just told her you're buying a new toothbrush, can be a great start to a really funny conversation... you can convey power and ambition without looking like you're bragging, all while making her laugh. And of course she knows it's just make-believe... but I'm not sure her feelings know the difference.

I haven't field tested these ideas extensively but they seem to make a lot of sense and they're working well so far.

 

[Matt Rogers]

Liker of women you have got it, that is the sort of humour I use all the time. My frame is that I am a gorgeous guy who girls can't resist-which obviously isn't true as I am average looking and far from a player. So I make a lot of arrogant comments to that effect, like calling myself "the man who makes boyfriends jealous", saying most girls propose marriage within a few weeks etc.

Most girls will see that it is tongue in cheek, but some will take you seriously, but those sorta girls are boring and you are better off without them.

Another one similar to your presumptiveness is "While you are at Blockbuster I want you to bring me some stuff back" (she works there) so I say "I want a DVD, ice cream and a blonde with brown eyes (her!)

Don't be afraid to offend girls as long as they know you are teasing. The phony degree works all the time. They often get riled up, and I tease them even more. The worst mistake you can use after ****y and funny is to apologise the moment she seems put out. Just say something like "Can't you take a joke" or "I was only teasing you " in a patronising voice.
Lines such as "Gosh, is that a degree now" work like magic.

 

[Matt Rogers]

Couple more spring to mind. I am running out of ideas, so would like some other DJs to contribute. Also appreciate any feedback, as to which examples you like and which you don't. Most of these are fieldtested but different girls react in different ways.

Her: "I like your new hair style it suits you " (I got my hair bleached)

Me: "I'd say the same but I prefer you in pigtails

Female friend: kissed me on the cheeks goodbye at end of term
Me: Not bad. But I think we need to try again. And this time on the lips, and use some tongue

Girl at starbucks: i cannot find the damn code for the chocolate muffin
Me: Then why don't you just give it to me for free-as I am your favourite customer (i flirt with her most times i am at starbucks)

Girl (looking at a view from my kitchen window) "It's a lovely view"
Me: staring at her breasts "Yes isn't it"

Girl at tea: Sugar?
Me: Sorry, no pet names so early in our relationship, hun

Her: Gosh you've filled out since I last saw you
Me: You have lost weight-I hope you haven't been pining for me

Her: So how old are you?
Me: Old enough! with a smirk on my face

I also love teasing younger girls and telling them they are being immature.

I also love making fun of blondes with dumb blonde references. I only get away with it though as I am blond myself, otherwise it wouldn't work.