The dreaded Maybe Date

[bloodhound]

Ok guys, I’m completely flummoxed with this broad and could use some opinions here haha.
Met her a little over a month ago on a cold approach where I walked up to her in the middle of the street and got her number.
Our interaction was extremely brief (30-40 seconds) as she was in a hurry. So I had to focus on building rapport over text in order to get her out.
I’ve asked her a total of 3 times. My first invitation wasn’t acknowledged by her so I just moved on to a random topic without addressing it.
The 2nd invitation was accepted, but ended with a last minute cancellation on the day itself.
Again I dismissed it and didn’t confront her about it.
I tried a 3rd time recently and this is how the conversation went:

[Context: before this i successfully cold read her. Also messed around with her and made her think i could predict the future]

Her: That’s it? It was u that u were referring to
And I thought u can really predict the future
Me: ur so easy to trick!
And yes lol
Her:
U tricked me
How could u :S
Me:I’m kinda mean lol
so how about nxt sat then
Her: May be
If u promise to be nice to me
I’ll assess
Me: I’ll try not to make fun of u
Her: Haha, that’s being nice?
U r so mean
Me: ok fine I’ll behave myself lol
Her: buy me a salad then

Me: not cool. I won the bet last time
Must b fair
Her: I am mean too
;P
Me: We’ll c about that lol
Quite a lot of funny things abt u
But I’ll tell u in person
Her: Sure
I would love to hear u out
Interesting person u r
Me: confirm with me closer to the 18th
Her: ok, I will

It's been a week since we last spoke and the 18th is fast approaching.
Am I going to get flaked?!

 

[Konada]

Ok guys, I’m completely flummoxed with this broad and could use some opinions here haha.
Met her a little over a month ago on a cold approach where I walked up to her in the middle of the street and got her number.
Our interaction was extremely brief (30-40 seconds) as she was in a hurry. So I had to focus on building rapport over text in order to get her out.
I’ve asked her a total of 3 times. My first invitation wasn’t acknowledged by her so I just moved on to a random topic without addressing it.
The 2nd invitation was accepted, but ended with a last minute cancellation on the day itself.
Again I dismissed it and didn’t confront her about it.
I tried a 3rd time recently and this is how the conversation went:

[Context: before this i successfully cold read her. Also messed around with her and made her think i could predict the future]

Her: That’s it? It was u that u were referring to
And I thought u can really predict the future
Me: ur so easy to trick!
And yes lol
Her:
U tricked me
How could u :S
Me:I’m kinda mean lol
so how about nxt sat then
Her: May be
If u promise to be nice to me
I’ll assess
Me: I’ll try not to make fun of u
Her: Haha, that’s being nice?
U r so mean
Me: ok fine I’ll behave myself lol
Her: buy me a salad then

Me: not cool. I won the bet last time
Must b fair
Her: I am mean too
;P
Me: We’ll c about that lol
Quite a lot of funny things abt u
But I’ll tell u in person
Her: Sure
I would love to hear u out
Interesting person u r
Me: confirm with me closer to the 18th
Her: ok, I will

It's been a week since we last spoke and the 18th is fast approaching.
Am I going to get flaked?!

Highlighted in red is where you fvcked up real bad.

Ideally you should ask her out 2 times and move on if she doesn't accept. When she ignored your offer the first time, alarm bells should have been ringing off in your head that she isn't interested. The 2nd time confirms it and YET, you ask her out for a third time. Good job that you didn't confront her about the flake, it will show weak needy behavior though you have exhibiting that thus far.

Obviously this girl knew she got you hook, line and sinker. I'd reckon the texting was to see how far you'd bend over backwards for her...

For me personally, the text would go something like this...

Her:
You tricked me!
How you could you :S

Me: Well I'm bad like that so deal with it Drinks this Wed/Sat night?

Her: Maybe (Call me to confirm)

Me: Ok let me know when you are free to make definite plans (Sorry I only make definite plans. Let me know when your schedule clears up and we can make definite plans.)

----NC-----

Problems in your texting:
1. You texted for too long, in the end you didn't even make a definite date. Confirm with me??? WTF??!! Its YOUR job as the man to fvcking lead and make definite plans. Don't be a pvssy about it

2. Weak supplicative behavior in your texting. I'll try not to make fun of you?? Ok fine I'll behave myself?? Its basically screaming PLZ ACCEPT ME I AM YOUR MANSERVANT.

This girl has a 99.9999% chance of flaking, she's not interested the first 2 times you asked her out.

Cmon dude, read the DJ bible. This is cringeworthy stuff.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Ya lol

 

[bloodhound]

2. Weak supplicative behavior in your texting. I'll try not to make fun of you?? Ok fine I'll behave myself?? Its basically screaming PLZ ACCEPT ME I AM YOUR MANSERVANT.

actually i should clarify here that I was being sarcastic and she knew that (I inserted a playful emoticon to that effect).

That beside the point though and I've noted all your suggestions.

To be honest, I'm currently in the frame of mind where I'm not really that bothered about whether she says yes or not. I haven't been pushy about meeting up for the most part, and 90% of it is really just playful banter.

Is there any value in taking the playful persistence route and just seeing how far I can take it?

 

[Konada]

actually i should clarify here that I was being sarcastic and she knew that (I inserted a playful emoticon to that effect).

That beside the point though and I've noted all your suggestions.

To be honest, I'm currently in the frame of mind where I'm not really that bothered about whether she says yes or not. I haven't been pushy about meeting up for the most part, and 90% of it is really just playful banter.

Is there any value in taking the playful persistence route and just seeing how far I can take it?

Well if you want to risk coming off as a gay male girlfriend by all means engage in playful banter over text... Your pitch was already made during the approach. The phone is for communicating and making dates, leave that sh!t to her other gay friends.

 

[El Payaso]

Too many mistakes to point out. This one is done and dusted. Delete her contact and never contact our reply to get every again in your life.

 

[nismo-4]

Ditch this b**ch and move on! She ain't f**kin' interested! She wouldn't leave Brad Pitt wondering if she was interested!

Case closed! Get out of my court!

 

[VladPatton]

Two times. That's how many times you ask for a date. Two. After a month of jerkin you around she most likely forgot what you even look like! Think you're the only orbiter around her? Her iPhone has tons of c0cks callin her, just like you.

Bro, listen to the guys..erase and replace. You're wasting your time. She would if when out with you already. Girls that dig you won't confuse you.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

...BUT WHAT ACTIVITY DID YOU ACTUALLY PROPOSE THAT YOU AND HER DO?!?

This is perhaps the #1 mistake you and a lot of guys make on these boards when asking girls out: you hit her up and say "so, are you free on x-day" and you don't actually give her any info on what you have planned! What is she supposed to look forward to? Answer: she doesn't know, and therefore she's not getting excited about the idea of linking up with you.

Your texts, while in my opinion unnecessary (since a phone call would have gotten this stuff out the way a LOT faster), could have been successful had you just added one simple little part to your text:

You: so how about nxt sat then - there's this great (insert activity or restaurant or event) that sounds pretty cool

And that's it! At least she'd be able to think "hmm, that actually COULD be fun to do" and you'd have a better shot at a yes. But nooooooooo - you didn't add that, and now she's most likely thinking to herself: "this strange guy that I don't know probably just wants to meet up for sex, and I'm not down to do that with him yet."

With that said, here's what you do: call or text her (note: I always recommend calling - because yes, women that want to see you and hear from you WILL answer your calls), and simply say:

"Hey there - so, I just found this awesome (insert restaurant, activity or event) happening on Saturday, and wanted to make sure you'd be free at (time #1) or (time#2) to go."

Then shut up and wait for her to reply. Most likely she'll say "eh, I just found out I'm busy" (translation: not tryn'a see you), but there's also a chance she'll say "That sounds like fun, time (1 or 2) works great!"

Regardless, this is how you need to present ALL dating requests from now on - no "asking" her if she can go, just telling her you found something to get into and was checking to see if she'd be free at time 1 or 2 on x-day to go. Hope this helps!

 

[EveryPostHere]

This is why "building rapport over text" doesn't work especially with modern women. You should have called her.

 

[comic_relief]

older I get, the quicker that I next a girl.

I'm more anti-dump anymore. I just don't have time for games and bullsh!t.

comic_relief

 

[skinnyguy]

HW has some great advice, again. State the specific activity you wanna do.

But in all likelihood she's getting pounded hard by some other dude. Just move on.

 

[LiveFreeX]

You need to get a sandwich out of this mess.

Text her: "Hey lets get together at your place on the 18th for cookies and sandwiches, you cook, it'll be an awesome way for me to judge if you've actually got womanly skills or if you're just another worthless PIECE OF SH1T".


No but seriously, ask for a sandwich.

PUAs on here need to get it through their heads, if women ain't good for a bang, she might still give you free food. On many occasions I've gotten both and the ones who can cook are usually the keepers.

 

[No.Danny]

Just text her "I'm desperate, have zero options please agree to go on a date with me. I have no pride or shame. I'll ask as many times as it takes."

 

[MountainSlide]

Bro just text her that you're horny. works 100% of the time.

 

[Zion]

God people go overboard on this forum.

You're not doing that bad OP. Just text her on the 18th. "A'right princess, you in or out?". Or something similar that is congruent with your personality. If she flakes / doesn't respond by the end of the day delete the number and move on.

Women will take advantage of any wiggle room you leave them, so don't.

Anyway, I wouldn't hold my breath in this case. It's not that you did something horribly wrong per se, but that's the nature of what we do. Sometimes you play your hand perfectly and will still lose.

 

[SamTheHobit]

You need to get a sandwich out of this mess.

Text her: "Hey lets get together at your place on the 18th for cookies and sandwiches, you cook, it'll be an awesome way for me to judge if you've actually got womanly skills or if you're just another worthless PIECE OF SH1T".


No but seriously, ask for a sandwich.

PUAs on here need to get it through their heads, if women ain't good for a bang, she might still give you free food. On many occasions I've gotten both and the ones who can cook are usually the keepers.

Haha this is a good one!