The Downfall of Marriage?

[Blue Phoenix]

Guys what do you think? Why do girls want to marry? Don´t we do everything we want without not being married? So what´s the point?

The biggest assumption, and mistake may I say, is that guys believe their sex life will increase when most of the time the opposite is true. I´ve seen here the coinage "Marriage is the woman´s retirement" which seems to correlate to what I´m talking about.

It´s funny how often we see women complaining that we only see them as "meat' while at the same time, they dress outrageous clothes showing their "weapons of men´s destruction". They elude us, attract us, and reject us. They´re not into sex as men are.

I decided to open this topic after I read an article about this book:
"The Sex Diaries: Why Women Go Off Sex and Other Bedroom Battles" written by Bettina Arndt, a clinical psychologist, sex therapist and social commentator.

"What I hear about most is the business of negotiating the sex supply. How do couples deal with the strain of the man wishing and hoping while all she longs for is the bliss of uninterrupted sleep?' In "The Sex Diaries" leading sex therapist Bettina Arndt uncovers the night-time drama being played out in bedrooms everywhere - the creeping hand and feigning of sleep, the staying up late in the hope that he will doze off. It is one of the great inconvenient truths of relationships that after the first blissful years together, most men want more sex than their female partners. She draws on her 35 years as a sex therapist and psychologist to provide an insightful analysis".

We do have our share of responsability as we only think about "c*mming inside her" as soon as possible, and nothing else. In the same vein, they do the same by attracting us but not putting out.

Some people say that prostitutes are the most honest as they show upfront that they want your money, they don´t play games like tricking you into marriage to take adavantage of your assets/protection/status like "normal girls" do.

Am I being pessimistic? :crazy:

 

[Aenigma]

Unfortunately I think the denial of sex is a self-perepuating cycle with lack of desire on the wife's part at the root of the problem.

It starts with man wanting sex and woman denying it. Man begs- and women might or might not give in- either way its irrelevant because begging for sex is the act of a lesser man and dimishes her attraction for him. Added with other beta acts it leads to a vicious cycle where she sees him as more and more beta and dosen't want to sex him up.

Beta vs Alpha....

Embrace the glory of testosterone my brothers!

 

[Hooligan Harry]

Aenigma, it has nothing to do with the status of the man!

The more secure a woman is in a relationship the less sex you are going to have with her. The more secure the woman is in the relationship, the less she is going to feel the need to hold the competition at bay. As soon as the emotional roller coaster starts to subside so too will her desire to spread her legs every day.

Women simply do not have the sex drive that men do. It is a fact of life your rationalisation will never change.

You have three choices. You can start masturbating more, you can start ****ing around or you can start begging for it. There is very little you can do. There is only so much "work" you can put into a relationship to keep her sexually aroused all the time too. You need to be realistic here.

Which is the reason why IF I decide to marry I will probably never be able to stay faithful. I need a certain amount of sex and I have a high sex drive. I dont expect any woman will keep up with it. They always try the first few months and after that sex inevitably becomes less frequent.

She has her needs, I have mine. If she cant look after them Ill look elsewhere and I will not be made to feel guilty for it. I can assure you, if her financial or emotional needs where not being met, she would consider straying. I dont give a fvck how that is perceived either, its the way it is.

From a purely physical point of view, I will **** around outside my own marriage if my wife cannot keep up with my own demands. Just like I can accept that if I dont provide the emotional and financial security she requires she will probably stray too.

 

[STR8UP]

The irony is that you are more likely to get sex from your wife if you are a discreet cheater than if you are blatantly faithful.

Such is life....

 

[Aenigma]

Aenigma, it has nothing to do with the status of the man!

The more secure a woman is in a relationship the less sex you are going to have with her. The more secure the woman is in the relationship, the less she is going to feel the need to hold the competition at bay. As soon as the emotional roller coaster starts to subside so too will her desire to spread her legs every day.

I'm gonna have to diagree with you HH. I think a man of higher status, a man who a wife sees as "alpha", is going to create constant competition anxeity in a wife regardless of the title and supposed security that the legally binding title gives her. I think women are designed to want to constantly and consistently fuk their man when they think that their is a chance that a competitor female will try to steal their man, and source of security, away from them; women feel more raw lust towards their man under such circumstances.

The secret in marriage is to be the one denying sex and being seen as the object of desire; its similar to the attitude displated in the book "Pimp"; be the one that they're chasing and trying to win the approval of and you'll have the upper hand. You need to be one step ahead and thinking of how to keep the coals stoked and how to be in control- that is the plight of man.

As they said in the Godfather- only women and children can afford to be carefree- us men must be constantly focused on all aspects of our life- wheather it be our jobs, family, wives, or friends. There is no rest for us if we want to succeed.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

True

The irony is that you are more likely to get sex from your wife if you are a discreet cheater than if you are blatantly faithful.
Such is life....

A girl I was seeing for 3 months dumped me to go back to her BF who had cheated on her (even had a baby with another woman)

I friend of mine cheated on his wife, they´re divorced but his wife wants to go back and calls him everyday.

Well, we can´t generalize but it´s common and there´s some logic in it.

There is only so much "work" you can put into a relationship to keep her sexually aroused all the time too. You need to be realistic here.

Right on. It´s like the movie in which a guy dates a woman but she keeps forgetting who he is, so he has to seduce her everyday. This movie is interesting, yet it´s women targeted as we are the ones "doing" the hard work, while the girl is the prize (nothing new here). *50 first dates (movie)

Another massive problem we have is that with time, women who are notorious for lacking a high sexual drive tend to lose it even more as time goes by.

 

[Trader]

Another massive problem we have is that with time, women who are notorious for lacking a high sexual drive tend to lose it even more as time goes by.

Colossus (and Pook) mentioned in another thread that the more passive and feminine girls have a lower sex drive

Since those are the only girls I am into - any one have any experiences with those types? How often did they want to have sex?

 

[Teflon_Mcgee]

I don't understand why sex has to go with marriage?

what's so hard about saying, "get in the room, take off your panties, and spread 'em"

I think the only way sex in marriage goes is if the man gets apathetic about it or is completley dominated (i.e. he's the girl) by a woman who doesn't care for sex.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Sure

This right here will happen no matter how alpha you remain during your marriage.

"Familiarity brings contempt". Or better saying "When the novelty wears off, you´re not alpha anymore as they get used to it" Do you think this is prone to happen?

It´s like a magic trick! Once you see what´s behind the scenes, you tend to lose interest in the very thing that attracted you. I think this is what happens in a marriage. Nowadays, marriage tends to be advantageous only to women as it used to be to men when we were the main provider. Now the roles/rules have changed. Women don´t need men to provide (money-wise) anymore, and even if you have to, it doesn´t guarantee a successful marriage. In divorce, they have the upper-hand as well.

It seems to me that many women want desperately to marry because of the promise from "hollywood" "churches" "books" of a "happily ever" "unto death" life, basically a fairytale. No one addresses what happens after that, we are left to our own devices, not to say own deception.

 

[Luthor Rex]

what's so hard about saying, "get in the room, take off your panties, and spread 'em"

Even if she's married to you, if she doesn't want to have sex with you, the law sees it as rape.

 

[Teflon_Mcgee]

Even if she's married to you, if she doesn't want to have sex with you, the law sees it as rape.

I guess I just don't understand the difficulty.
When I want to have sex with my wife I do. And she knows to happily oblige.

The first time it was ever an issue I let her know that was not acceptable and that their are certain agreements (unspoken or not) we make when we are in relationships. We either abide by these agreements or the relationship becomes null and void.

Problem solved.

This isn't rocket science. It's simply being a man and not accepting the unacceptable.

 

[Luthor Rex]

I guess I just don't understand the difficulty.
When I want to have sex with my wife I do. And she knows to happily oblige.

The first time it was ever an issue I let her know that was not acceptable and that their are certain agreements (unspoken or not) we make when we are in relationships. We either abide by these agreements or the relationship becomes null and void.

Problem solved.

This isn't rocket science. It's simply being a man and not accepting the unacceptable.

So you forced your wife you have sex with you by verbally beating her down and you can't see how this will lead her to reset you? You really think that someone who comes to resent you won't eventually act on that resentment?

 

[ketostix]

So you forced your wife you have sex with you by verbally beating her down and you can't see how this will lead her to reset you? You really think that someone who comes to resent you won't eventually act on that resentment?

It seems like to me that if a wife resents you for setting the expectation that she should be reasonabley sexually available or the relation is void, then that's not a woman you should be married to. So that relationship is still null and void.

 

[STR8UP]

Colossus (and Pook) mentioned in another thread that the more passive and feminine girls have a lower sex drive

Since those are the only girls I am into - any one have any experiences with those types? How often did they want to have sex?

Not the ones I have been with.

The two that come to mind were ALWAYS down.

One would even grab her dildo and start going at it with the bedroom door cracked until I heard her moaning and had to come and give her a hand, er, I mean, well, you know....

 

[Jitterbug]

I guess I just don't understand the difficulty.
When I want to have sex with my wife I do. And she knows to happily oblige.

The first time it was ever an issue I let her know that was not acceptable and that their are certain agreements (unspoken or not) we make when we are in relationships. We either abide by these agreements or the relationship becomes null and void.

Problem solved.

This isn't rocket science. It's simply being a man and not accepting the unacceptable.

Maybe it has something to do with you being 25 and having not been married long enough. The lack of sex happens with married couples who have been together for a long time and usually after a kid or two.

 

[Desdinova]

Why do girls want to marry?

There's a number of reasons:

- Financial Security
- Financial Stability
- "Princess for a day"
- Kids
- Ticking Biological Clock

Those are the major ones. After a woman achieves all of the above, there is no more challenge. Everything becomes stagnant. The attraction may still be there, but there is no motivation to do relationship maintenance anymore.

If she is self-conscious, there will be less sex. If she doesn't like sex, there will be less sex. If she's better than her husband at getting her off, there will be less sex. And it goes on and on.

Once you finish listening to a new CD, and you really enjoyed it, you will play it over and over a few times. If you keep playing it, you may still enjoy it, but that initial 'newness' is gone, and you don't feel the need to keep playing it repeatedly. Marriage is exactly the same way. And occasionally, you become sick of listening to the same damn CD all the time, and throw it on a shelf to collect dust or trade it in for something new, different, and exciting.

 

[Zunder]

The downfall of Marriage is similar to the downfall of the Mafia.

Stupid b!tches believing what they see on TV/ Movies

Stupid wiseguys believing what they saw on TV/Movies

I do not think anyone really has a full grasp of how the square box & Hollywood has shaped our culture in the West. It's influence is massive.

No wonder the Moslem countries ban all that sh!t. They keep control of their b!tches and don't let them get any bad ideas from the West.

 

[Nutz]

Wives stop putting out because they can. This is why getting married is such a huge mistake for men. Women are at their sexual peak when they have to compete against other women. It goes back to Price Charming theory where you, the alpha dog, chose her over other "lesser" women. Her being chosen against all others is what drives her sexuality through the roof and wants to reward the man for his choice. Get married and the competition is over. Once the novelty of the marriage wears off the complacency sets in and the sex turns off. As it's been said hundreds of times before now, when a man gets married he gives up all of his power in the relationship.

 

[Warrior74]

And yet tons of people are happily married. If a man enjoys his life, who are you to judge? All you can do is judge your own life. I know some very happily married couples, and I would never spout any of the stuff I've heard in this thread to them. And I know some miserable guys in soul destroying marriages who I would gladly give a link to this thread if they asked, but at the end of the day, I can't play captain save a ho or captain save a bro, just gotta do what's right for me.

 

[azanon]

Why aren't these marriage bashing threads closed and the other 500 identical copies linked? It was getting old in 05' Maybe search is broke?

I'm sorry... but I'm reminded how many of you guys used to poke fun at Love shack. I'm sorry, but at times I find both boards equally pathetic, for different reasons of course.