The Don Jerk - Pragmatic (II/III)

[Mr. Fingers]

Ahhhh, my dear BBB!!

You have entered the phase I like to call "trimming the fat"

It is a painful stage of growth where you find out who your real friends are. I have gone through this phase several times in my life and I have often wondered why this happened.

Then I noticed a pattern.

Guy Friends
Whenever I had a so-called friend turn on me, it was because I had given too much of myself to them. To the point where they lost all respect for me. People are weird like that. If you really go out on a limb for them, and they dont reciprocate, yet you still continue to help them out like a good Samaritan, they not only take you for granted, but often RESENT you and end up kicking dirt in your face!

Sounds crazy but its true. When you are this selfless with someone who doesnt reciprocate, it points out how selfish they really are. So they project their inadequacies onto you and lash out. How dare you make them see what selfish pricks they are?

It also gives them a sense of power to tear you down. They do it because they know they can. To them you are just a little pushover...a CHUMP!

Girl Friends
This happened alot with my female friends too, but on a different level. It took me ages to see it, but I realize now that they RESENTED the fact that I never tried anything on them! It was almost as if they were the chumps and I had pushed them in the Friend Zone.

So they hung around for a while and pretended to be bestest buds with me, hoping I would make a move. (I found this out later on) But when I treated them like beloved sisters, they got fed up and totally disrespected me. They would put up this wall and ignore me, even during times when I really needed their support.

Sound familiar?

I know, it really doesnt make much sense to you right now because you are not like this at all. In fact I think you are really starting to understand exactly how different you are!

Echoes of my Past in your Text
Its funny, Bluesy. You remind me so much of myself in high school. I went through the same sh!t. I also plunged into darkness as the perfect world I had created just crumbled to the ground like a house of cards.

I finally learned that not everyone can receive the gifts we bear. It was hard for me, but I learned to hold back all that wonderful, selfless energy and invest it where it belongs...my Inner Circle! The trusted few who I can ALWAYS count on and have made the sacred transition from friend to family.

And you know what? I have even had FAMILY fukk me over too!

Man that REALLY sucked.

It took me a while to learn to trust people again. But then I saw that there are no guarantees in this life. You take a risk with every person you let in, so you must find the balance of being open, while guarding your heart. It still doesnt guarantee anything, but it helps the odds.

You do this by letting your kindness shine on everyone, but at the same time paying attention to who shines it back at ya and rewarding in kind. Dont be anyone´s emotional tampon because they will just toss your bloody ass in the trash with a disgusted look on their face once they are done with you!

Transmutation
One of the things that really helped me get through those rough points was learning to channel all that frustration, anger and sadness into something constructive. Thats when I discovered poetry. (You are a kickass writer and I highly recommend this very cathartic art form!)

I have also found punching bags to be very helpful in this respect. Whatever the outlet, you will need to vent all of this negativity somewhere. Doing it here is a start, but ultimately you must find more than one way to exorcise the bad vibes.

Conclusion
I think its great that you posted this, because it is such a part of who BBB is! You dont just feel things halfway. When you are happy, you are ECSTATIC! When you are pissed, you are FUMING!

You are a passionate individual, one of the things that I love about ya. Do yourself a favor and dont ever lose this fire, for it is truly rare!

You just got to learn how to invest and spend your energy a little more wisely. It will take time and you will face more disappointment along the way. But this is all part of your path my man, and you will be so much wiser and stronger for it in the end!

Dont you see? There is no Don Jerk and there is no Smiley-Happy DJ. These are just undertows of emotion that we all wade through like rivers. The currents are always changing and we just do our best not to get our asses smashed on the rocks along the way.

In time we become expert swimmers and learn to just flow with the current, embracing what we feel and pushin it into new directions with inspiration, strength and compassion.

If anyone on this board can feel and understand these words, I know it is you.

Much Love from your Big Bro,

FINGZ

 

[Brazilian_Blues_Boy]

Originally posted by TonyTheTigerOI
I just so happen to have a good sense of smell, so fak off.

??

 

[drixsa]

BBB,
i understand now more your state of mimd becuase i couldnt understand where in hell your post was comin from

i went through the same thing that u did, maybe a little worse (i had to leave every one of my school friends and just about every girl)

this new state of mind will help you it got me so motivated for everythin

but you can only be a few peoples shoulder to cry on every ONCE in a while

u show too much loyality and friends will take advantage of that

Written by Pex: retarded thread. completely retarded. blind leading the blind.

not at all this is a coming of age post.

it was just unclear as to why BBB was going off all of a sudden

BBB- what changes have u made so far (besides gettin rid of friends)? how are you building back up?

 

[aBAzLLnA]

BBB, remember you are only 17... you have a long long way to go. Now:

1) Being intellectual never hurt anyone, there are fakes and there are genuine ones. Theres also nothing wrong with being intellectual at a young age.

2) Being patient with everyone being dumb? Huh? You will be crushed? I haven't as of yet been crushed... enlighten me.

3) One doesn't USE intelligence to get respect or puzzy. It is just a mindset, a way of being. Being intellectual means you can adjust to anyone's level and still be able to speak clearly and make sense. So...i dont get this...

4) Ok, be mean, go beat the **** outta 500 dudes. Yes, then of course you will earn respect. Respect out of FEAR. Is that what you want? People to get outta the way just because you could beat the **** out of them? Really, the kind of respect i want is being able to talk to anyone without any issues at hand. Being able to click with them right away. Respect that my thoughts are just as valid as anyone elses. That my friend is much deeper than flesh and skin.

5) Your "truths" as you call them, are...i dont know what to say. Respecting everyone is something that takes time to learn. This is different from letting people step all over you, respecting everyone means you treat them the way you would like to be treated, and taking them as human...we are all human aren't we? How is one of us better than another then?

finally

6) Putting a front is THE worst idea.
- You cheat yourself, you aren't true
- When people see this, they lose respect for you
- Why would you do such a thing?
- When you do this, you cater to the girl, showing weakness and desperateness (eh not a word).


Ok, i understand your post and i totally disagree with it. If it works for you, fine, keep doing it then. But in the end, it might come back and bite you in the ass.

~ivan

 

[Julian]

Fingers, you are a truly enlightened individual.

 

[The Antichrist_Star]

First... I will say that this could not have happened to you at a better time Diego. I sincerely hope that you learn so many valuable life lessons from this. One of the lessons that I was hoping that you learned ever since you came here was this: It is a lot easier to be happy when everything is going well. Perhaps, I was one of the few people on this board who saw right through your blind idealism. Here you were, singing songs of happiness, telling people everything will be all right, basking in the sun and your happiness... now you are angry... everything that made you happy has crumble right in front of your face. Which comes to my second lesson that I hope you learned... the only person/thing that will ever make you happy on this planet... is you. I have had friends betray me, people take advantage me and people literally attempt to **** me over right in front of my face, yet I still walk around with a smile. Why? Because those people do not make my happiness, me being friends with them and sharing laughs do not make my happiness. I make my happiness... which is why I can do such things with them, and it is also why I can do such things without them.

Diego... I know you are mad, but you have disappointed me. You have allowed your situation around you to change the person that you are... a fatal mistake that human beings (especially HS) do over and over. So what if your "friends" blantly tried to **** you over? So what? So what if your female "friends" no longer like you... so what? Does this mean you have to start doing the same things that they have done to you, back to them and others... no. Hopefully at the end of this stage Diego you will come to realize that the happy medium is being above such things. I became misogynistic because of what women did to me... I wanted to do in return... fatal mistake. I had no respect for women, bccause they had none for me... fatal mistake. I came to realize that my misogyny was created as a response to something else... I could not allow that.

Are you really smart? Are you using your intelligence to get yourself a lot of pu$$y and respect from your peers?

When you said "intellectual" I imagined that you were referring to guys like me and Smooth... so let us proceed. To the first question: Yes. To the second: Yes. And to the last: Yes.

Listen to me intellectual guys, being intellectual is dangerous.

I would agree... but so is being ignorant.

It does not necessarily mean being smart.

Again... I would agree.

Sometimes, you feel like you have to be nice and patient people because you're more enlightened than them. But it's not how it works.

I am the opposite. I am not nice and I am impatient because I know and understand that no one is enlightened, and everyone is an idiot... including myself.

the 90's culture, and the MTV and all the media is selling the image that you have to be mean, bad and ammoral. And people are buying into it. There's no more honor.

What you have not realized (and sadly many others) is that it wasnever this way. The MTV generation has been responsible for absolutely nothing, but bringing out things that were already there. There was always amorality, there was always mean people, and there was always bad people... way before Music Television was even conceived... this has not changed, and will not change. There is honor Diego... but much like all of history... few people have it.

So, you, smart boy, have to be meaner, tougher and worst than them.

Wrong... you merely have to think ahead of them, and manipulate them before they know what hit them.

You have to be the worst motherfuc*er ever. Use your so called intelligence to dig the weak points, the flaws and the achilles' heel of everyone you meet.

Again incorrect. It is not about being "bad" or the "worst mother****er ever" it is merely about being smart. Interesting Diego that the very person that did not agree with many of my so called "Machiavellian ideas" is now preaching them.

Be a good actor, act like you don't have conscience, or do not have it for real, don't feel sorry for the "stupid" people. They'll try to crush you in order to feed their egos.

*Nods head* Amen... again the person who did not agree with those Machiavellian ideas, is now preaching them.

As far as the High School women go Diego, I would have to agree with you for the most part. Many college women are the same also. Merely remember in life that they're are always exceptions to the rule.

I hope everyone learned from BBB's story. Besides the fact that he said being pragmatic is where it is at, realize and understand that people (especially people like me) do not give a damn about your ideals, hopes, and dreams... in fact, I would be the first one to crush them. If I knew Diego personally when he was all happy go lucky... he would have wrote this post about a guy like me. Guys... it is not about being amoral (although I am) or having no honor (I have plenty) it is merely fact. I pray to God as much as the next Christian (although I am spiritual not religious) but I know, understand, and realize how the world and life works. Be blinded by your idealism if you like gentlemen... I will be out bringing out the corruption that already lies in this world if you need me.

The Bad Man Is... Reloaded

 

[Deep Dish]

The following was borrowed from an introduction to Buddhism. I'm not Buddhist, but I studied it, and it has much to say about human nature.

Bold is my emphasis.

The Six Realms

If ego decides it likes the situation, it begins to churn up all sorts of ways to possess it. A craving to consume the situation arises and we long to satisfy that craving. Once we do, a ghost of that craving carries over and we look around for something else to consume. We get into the habitual pattern of becoming consumer oriented. Perhaps we order a piece of software for our computer. We play with it for awhile, until the novelty wears out, and then we look around for the next piece of software that has the magic glow of not being possessed yet. Soon we haven't even got the shrink wrap off the current package when we start looking for the next one. Owning the software and using it doesn't seem to be as important as wanting it, looking forward to its arrival. This is known as the hungry ghost realm where we have made an occupation out of craving. We can never find satisfaction, it is like drinking salt water to quench our thirst.

Another realm is the animal realm, or having the mind like that of an animal. Here we find security by making certain that everything is totally predictable. We only buy blue chip stock, never take a chance and never look at new possibilities. The thought of new possibilities frightens us and we look with scorn at anyone who suggests anything innovative. This realm is characterised by ignorance. We put on blinders and only look straight ahead, never to the right or left.

The hell realm is characterised by acute aggression. We build a wall of anger between ourselves and our experience. Everything irritates us, even the most innocuous, and innocent statement drives us mad with anger. The heat of our anger is reflected back on us and sends us into a frenzy to escape from our torture, which in turn causes us to fight even harder and get even angrier. The whole thing builds on itself until we don't even know if we're fighting with someone else or ourselves. We are so busy fighting that we can't find an alternative to fighting; the possibility of alternative never even occurs to us.

These are the three lower realms. One of the three higher realms is called the jealous god realm. This pattern of existence is characterised by acute paranoia. We are always concerned with "making it". Everything is seen from a competitive point of view. We are always trying to score points, and trying to prevent others from scoring on us. If someone achieves something special we become determined to out do them. We never trust anyone; we "know" they're trying to slip one past us. If someone tries to help us, we try to figure out their angle. If someone doesn't try to help us, they are being uncooperative, and we make a note to ourselves that we will get even later. "Don't get mad, get even," that's our motto.

At some point we might hear about spirituality. We might hear about the possibility of meditation techniques, imported from some eastern religion, or mystical western one, that will make our minds peaceful and absorb us into a universal harmony. We begin to meditate and perform certain rituals and we find ourselves absorbed into infinite space and blissful states of existence. Everything sparkles with love and light; we become godlike beings. We become proud of our godlike powers of meditative absorption. We might even dwell in the realm of infinite space where thoughts seldom arise to bother us. We ignore everything that doesn't confirm our godhood. We have manufactured the god realm, the highest of the six realms of existence. The problem is, that we have manufactured it. We begin to relax and no longer feel the need to maintain our exalted state. Eventually a small sliver of doubt occurs. Have we really made it? At first we are able to smooth over the question, but eventually the doubt begins to occur more and more frequently and soon we begin to struggle to regain our supreme confidence. As soon as we begin to struggle, we fall back into the lower realms and begin the whole process over and over; from god realm to jealous god realm to animal realm to hungry ghost realm to hell realm. At some point we begin to wonder if there isn't some sort of alternative to our habitual way of dealing with the world. This is the human realm.

The human realm is the only one in which liberation from the six states of existence is possible. The human realm is characterised by doubt and inquisitiveness and the longing for something better. We are not as absorbed by the all consuming preoccupations of the other states of being. We begin to wonder whether it is possible to relate to the world as simple, dignified human beings.

Brazilian Blues Boy said...

This one goes to all the "intellectual" guys around.

Are you really smart? Are you using your intelligence to get yourself a lot of pu$$y and respect from your peers?

I used my intelligence to improve myself where I could attract women I wanted, and by unintended consequence, lots of women; but having accomplished the former, and now having seen the true nature of woman, I'm smart enough to hold back with caution, to be 'really picky'.

Listen to me intellectual guys, being intellectual is dangerous.

Being an intellectual guy, being a 'genius', is only harmful when you lack being a human.

If you try to be honored with EVERY SINGLE PERSON you meet, you'll end up being crushed.

So, you, smart boy, have to be meaner, tougher and worst than them. Or you'll be left behind.

As someone who is roughly seven years older than you, I can most certainly say that it will be those like yourself, if you were to continue living this line of thought, who will be 'left behind' in life. I'm nice and respected, esteemed, honored as you say, by people who meet me; I even give the homeless my pocket change, sometimes even whole dollars for a simple meal; and I'm going along in life quite well, 'above' those people who view the world in only power-struggle. I can also certainly say that some day you will abandon your current perspective, when you find how erroneous it is.

- HS GIRLS ARE DUMB
- YOU'RE NOT GONNA FIND YOUR SOULMATE
- HS GIRLS ARE RARELY GOOD AS REAL FRIENDS
- YOU SHOULD NEVER BE NICE THEM, BECAUSE IF YOU ARE, THEY **** WITH YOU
- DO NOT EXPECT THEM TO PROVIDE YOU FULLFILLING CONVOS
- TREAT THEM ALL AS B!TCHES; IF YOU REALLY LIKE ONE GIRL, REMEMBER THAT THE WAY TO HER HEART IS THROUGH HER PANTIES, NOT THROUGH HER EARS
- RECOGNIZE CLEARLY THOSE WHO ARE ATTRACTED TO YOU AND THOSE WHO AREN'T

- While women may seem to be the blank slates which they do seem to be, it's for a higher purpose. It's their role in nature to be so emotional, and to mold themselves around a man, whose role in nature is to be the thinker. There are many intelligent women, and by extension, girls, but that does not excuse them from female nature.

- Soulmates do exist, but they are made, not born.

- While girls may mature, throughout age, in cognitive skills and taking responsibility, thus reach what is commonly called 'mature'; they do not 'mature' in their base desires; but with that said, plenty of girls make good 'real' friends.

- If for a guy being nice to women results in them screwing with them, they have issues of attraction.

- See the first bulleted point.

- Women become whatever you think of them. If you think of them as '*****es', that is what they will become, to you. You become whatever you think of women. If you think of them as '*****es', so you become. Both are self-fulfilling prophecies, as both breath life into the other.

- There is no 'point' in deciphering attraction. Only guys who have the problem of not attracting women, are the ones who concern themselves with such.