The divorced woman on a rebound?

[Jacob40]

Start pushing the boundaries with your conversations to see how she responds sexually. If she is good with it, then go spend a wknd. and stay at her place.

Stop thinking so much, ride the waves, and have some fun. That's all she really needs/wants right now and you can be that guy.

Be aware of your issues with why you have been put in the friend zone before. If you don't change your approach you'll end up there again with a woman that sounds pretty easy. You come across as super analytical, that mindset will always be a hurdle to success with women and its a turnoff.

Today I got the let's "take it slow" this weekend. Last time I heard that I wound up in the friendzone. I'd that is what she is thinking, I may just flake and go no contact the next couple of days, and not go visit this weekend. First she sends panty pics then does a 360 to take it slow?

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Nobody said you have to play by her rules...but you are doing exactly that. Sexualize the conversation more. She is being a tease. Hold her to task.

Tell her she will get a spanking for being a little c o c k tease and that she better wear lacy panties. You are being too meek. Do not apologize for this. If she balks, explain that you are not driving all that way for a sleepover in flannel PJs.

Be daring and direct. I mean what have you got to lose?

 

[Jacob40]

Advice from the old lady:

Nobody said you have to play by her rules...but you are doing exactly that. Sexualize the conversation more. She is being a tease. Hold her to task.

Tell her she will get a spanking for being a little c o c k tease and that she better wear lacy panties. You are being too meek. Do not apologize for this. If she balks, explain that you are not driving all that way for a sleepover in flannel PJs.

Be daring and direct. I mean what have you got to lose?

Thanks for the advice! This morning I replied back to her tease. It worked. She replied with a bunch of hearts. I'll see how she continues to respond today and tomorrow.

 

[PRW63]

Sounds like she is on a rebound and wants someone to keep her company or give her validation. Any thoughts?

Forget the rebound crap. Everyone was with someone before they were with the one they are with. On top of that people monkey branch from the old one to the new one (somehow there is no rebound when they do that???). And then you have the cheaters who cheat, divorce the spouse and move in (sometimes later marry the one they cheated with),...and somehow,...there is never a "rebound" with that.

The truth is always so much simpler.

If she isn't satisfied where she is at, and she sees "The Hawt Guy" she is going to go for it,...period. It doesn't matter if she has been broke up for a day, week, months, or years. It doesn't even matter if she already has a BF, LTR, or in some cases even married.

So the "rebound" is just an escape hatch excuse to reject a guy that she just isn't really into, ....or she was dating mulitple guys and one stood out from the crowd (and it wasn't you).

As far as "The Hawt Guy",...it doesn't even have to be his "looks",...it can be whatever criteria she has in her mind that ranks the highest,...whatever it might be.

 

[Jacob40]

Forget the rebound crap. Everyone was with someone before they were with the one they are with. On top of that people monkey branch from the old one to the new one (somehow there is no rebound when they do that???). And then you have the cheaters who cheat, divorce the spouse and move in (sometimes later marry the one they cheated with),...and somehow,...there is never a "rebound" with that.

The truth is always so much simpler.

If she isn't satisfied where she is at, and she sees "The Hawt Guy" she is going to go for it,...period. It doesn't matter if she has been broke up for a day, week, months, or years. It doesn't even matter if she already has a BF, LTR, or in some cases even married.

So the "rebound" is just an escape hatch excuse to reject a guy that she just isn't really into, ....or she was dating mulitple guys and one stood out from the crowd (and it wasn't you).

As far as "The Hawt Guy",...it doesn't even have to be his "looks",...it can be whatever criteria she has in her mind that ranks the highest,...whatever it might be.

I'm not sure you read the full post, but okay. She was married, and now divorced. So she is just getting back into dating, and I'm the first person she has started to date.

 

[PRW63]

I'm not sure you read the full post, but okay. She was married, and now divorced. So she is just getting back into dating, and I'm the first person she has started to date.

I did read it.
My response is the same.
Don't buy into the rebound crap or the soap opera stuff. If you have your act together and she is impressed with you then whe will stay,...if she isn't then she won't. It is no more complicated than that.

 

[Tilex]

Women are going to know how desperate you are if you're willing to drive over an hour to see them and give them all this attention through texting and talking on the phone. It will turn them off and they'll know they can take advantage of you. Especially the older women are masters at resource extraction. That's all they do.

So true! It's a damn honey trap.
Even if she was attracted to your photo's and enjoys talking to you over the phone, she'll rationalize it as this guy must be really pathetic and desperate to drive an hour to see her.
Such a ridiculous double standard!
This is why I don't do online dating anymore.

 

[Tilex]

Tonight before she went to bed, she did a full 360. She said she wants to take it slow and doesn't want to chase me away. If she's going to attempt to put me in a guest room again, I'm going to head home. Not going to play these games with an older woman. Either she is DTF or not.

That's the kiss of death for me.
The amount of obstacles and sh!t tests she tossed in front of you was already slow enough. It was equivalent of a bumper to bumper traffic jam during rush hour.

And then she drops a bombshell on you, saying she wants to go slower than that? Really?

What would happen if you took control and wouldn't follow her orders?
Does she close her bedroom door and locks it after saying goodnight to you?
I would completely disobey sleeping in the guests room if I were you.

 

[Jacob40]

So we planned getting together this weekend and I went up to see her again at her place. This 50yr old woman is crazy and super into me. We went out yesterday to a few places to hang out together and food. Then end of day back to her house. At night, she put on this super sexy leopard print outfit and thong. I put my stuff in the guest room but then she mentions if I want to sleep in her bed.

My **** won over my brain and chose to sleep with her. The minute we layed down and turned light out she puts on this colored mood lighting. Then grabs me and passionately starts kissing and starts making out and gets on top of me. Didn't stick **** in her last night because I'm not sure I want to continue and give her wrong impression and s that I want this to continue. But tonight I'm betting she wants to go all the way.

Do I go all the way and have fun? Or not. That's what to decide. It was little over 4hr drive and I don't like she lives in the sticks. She also talks too damn much about things gets on my nerves.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Less talking, more fvcking. OP, no more analysis until after you sleep with her.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I believe you already went "all the way" by making a 4 hr trip a second time. Why do that again if you're going to be battling not just her reservations but also *yours*?

 

[Jacob40]

Less talking, more fvcking. OP, no more analysis until after you sleep with her.

Well we slept together at her place. She is crazy wild passionate. But I still have reservations about her, and some things she has told me. Here is what's going on....I told her I had four free comped nights in Vegas. She has airline points to use for free round trip flights. So we decided to plan a trip to go to Vegas. Everything is booked.

She starts talking about how she doesn't want to tell her family members she is going. They are upset about her divorce. Her sister told her she was crazy for leaving her husband , because how is she going to afford to live by herself now with her somewhat low paying job, in a small town.

I had bought tickets for a show in Vegas. She wanted to see a second show too, so I asked her about going dutch and each buying our own ticket. Then she went on about, maybe she should listen to her family and sister and not be spending money. She asks me if I'm going to take care of her in Vegas!

I tell you what, I'm not paying for everything for her. She is going to have to cough up some money on this trip. I think she may be playing me.. It sounds like she is strapped for cash, since she talks about going to dollar stores and consignment shops.

I'll see how the trip goes, but I think I got myself into a mess with this woman.

 

[Lookatu]

She had you from the start, eversince she got you to drive 4 hours to see her. That just spells "sucker/provider" on your forehead.

 

[2Rocky]

so she's covering the flight and you covered lodging? Good so far.

When it comes to food you would have to eat at home right?

Lead and plan a trip within your budget. Any extras she is welcome to cover.

When you plan a trip you are assuming the responsibilities on the costs of travel lodging and meals. Her covering the flights is a Solid contribution. Don't expect a 50/50 cost split. by my calc you re looking at 70/30 and that's good enough for a 4 day farkfest.

Go have fun. Hook her so in the future she is paying for you to come see her.....

 

[bat soup]

I need some advice as a newbie here, 49yo as I'm still new to this game. I've been placed in the friend zone too often. Met a 49yo woman from another state about 4 hours away from me on OLD. She came down to see me, since her parents live down here. We only met for an hour and half that day, since I had to go back to work. Been texting and speaking over phone for past two weeks. Video called twice. She told her mom about me and said I looked attractive, which is a first for me. She is "ok" for 49, but still only about 5 or 6/10. She takes care of her looks for what is left for that age.

The issue is she has some drama going on. She is in the stages of going through a divorce. She moved from another state to where she is now to get away from her husband. On one call, she mentioned how unhappy she was in her marriage. She referred to him in one phone call several times to me, as her "soon to be ex". She does most of the talking in the calls and I have trouble getting in any words, as she likes to talk over me some times.

I haven't been initiating much at all, since one night she told me she was too busy and too tired to talk. So I went NC on her and then after three days, she reached out to me, and we started chatting again.

In her OLD profile, she mentions she is looking for someone that would like to move to where she lives. In no way in hell, am I looking to move at all from my state, but wouldn't mind a weekend FWB if it comes down to that. She lives in a small rural town and says there are not many people on OLD there and said the guys that she sees online are ugly. This morning, she sends me a text, about inviting me up to see her on a weekend. I told her my work keeps me busy but I'd think about it.

I thought to myself, I wouldn't mind just going on a road trip up there to get the hell out of town due to covid. So after awhile, I asked her if she knew of any good lodging up there. She then offered her guestroom, and then started sending me photos of it, her bedroom, and outside her house. I find this strange since she had only met me in person for one hour. She seems to have her life together, and has a rewarding job. But something makes me pause. She then sends a photo of a lake and park nearby, and asked if I would want to take a walk with her, if I come up there.

Sounds like she is on a rebound and wants someone to keep her company or give her validation. Any thoughts?

She's old and not very attractive, so she has no choice but to be less picky than she used to be. Women that age don't get very much attention.

Normally I'd say that talking and chatting a lot online is a bad idea because it will put you in the friendzone. But I'm not sure if a woman that old even has a friendzone. Still, be careful about listening to her drama as she could end up wasting your time and using you for attention. Not that you'd care that much, I imagine.

 

[2Rocky]

bat, read his last post....he HAS slept with her...

@jacob, her emotions are all over right now and she is second guessing everything. Your job is to be a fun distraction from her ongoing divorce...best way to do that is through multiple orgasms....

....Oh and by the way you should have other women close to you you are seeing, and screwing. Do NOT slot this woman in a relationship role.

 

[Jacob40]

bat, read his last post....he HAS slept with her...

@jacob, her emotions are all over right now and she is second guessing everything. Your job is to be a fun distraction from her ongoing divorce...best way to do that is through multiple orgasms....

....Oh and by the way you should have other women close to you you are seeing, and screwing. Do NOT slot this woman in a relationship role.

Thanks good advice. Yeah you are right, I'm probably a distraction to our divorce. And she is probably giddy inside with excitement that I have come up to see her and sleep with her. She said the lovin' and excitement from her ex. stopped years ago. She said the passion stopped happening. He is 10yr older than me. We are planning to meet this weekend. I'm driving up about 3/4 way and she down 1/4 to meet at a car show. Then up to her place and she wants to take me to a few places to show me around again.

In the meantime, yes I'm looking around my area for someone else. Who knows, she could be meeting other guys too in-between my visits. But I'll see how it goes in Vegas, and if she pays for anything at all, or contributes anything other than flight tickets.

 

[Billtx49]

Thanks good advice. Yeah you are right, I'm probably a distraction to our divorce. And she is probably giddy inside with excitement that I have come up to see her and sleep with her. She said the lovin' and excitement from her ex. stopped years ago. She said the passion stopped happening. He is 10yr older than me. We are planning to meet this weekend. I'm driving up about 3/4 way and she down 1/4 to meet at a car show. Then up to her place and she wants to take me to a few places to show me around again.

In the meantime, yes I'm looking around my area for someone else. Who knows, she could be meeting other guys too in-between my visits. But I'll see how it goes in Vegas, and if she pays for anything at all, or contributes anything other than flight tickets.

Something to consider about rebounders - Once her initial excitement level comes down there’s a definite chance her hypergamy factor will kick in. If she thinks you’re not as good as what she had before, i.e. she downgraded, believe it or not she may go back to her ex or go hunting on the fresh meat carousel …
From this point on, it’s all about her perception.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Be wary of women that will talk over you. Add to this that she's probably painting herself as some 'victim' in this soon to be divorce. When you add up a woman that displays a dominant personality mixed with self-denial, it's not a pretty recipe.

On the plus side, you probably won't have to worry about when to make your move. Judging by her personality, if and when she's ready, she'll initiate.

 

[f283000]

I wouldn't go all the way over there for that washed up 49 year old 5 who's going through a divorce. But if she's doable like you say then she can definitely stay at your place. Let her make the effort and the investment to go see you and stay with you for a weekend and you smash and then she leaves. Simple.