The Direct Approach

[MacArthur]

Sometimes the approach gets overthought. Here's a reminder of the basic, direct approach:

For girls who already know or recognize you:
"Do you want to get together sometime?" Very simple, very direct.

Often girls do like you, and want to go out with you. All you need to do is ask them out.


For random girls, or girls you aren't sure if she would recognize you or not:

"Hi, I just wanted to meet you. What's your name?"
and after she answers,
"What's your phone number?"


This tip is far from original, but I think it's worth posting again and again. There are so many things right with the direct approach, and really nothing wrong with it.

I tend to find that:
Girls appreciate a direct approach. To elaborate: You come across as "being yourself". You get to the point quickly, no b.s., no 10 minute patterns. No confusion (is he trying to pick me up?).

Girls respect a direct approach. My roommate's girlfriend told me the other day that girls get together and compare and laugh at the various lines guys use to pick them up. I told her that I use a direct approach, and she agreed that that is the best. If anything, you will probably score some points with her friends even if she rejects you. They'll start thinking. "hmm, I never really thought much of him, but he obviously has the balls to approach girls he's interested in and ask them out in a genuine way. I respect that, maybe I should get to know him better..."

And really, we shouldn't care what the girls think anyway.

The direct approach is good because it helps sift through the b.s. You don't waste your time wondering about or trying to seduce girls who are not willing to go out with you, for whatever reason (already has a relationship, too busy with work/school, etc.).

In my view, things like Challenge, Seduction (speed sedection or slow seduction), and ****y + Funny come into play only after you have directly approached her and asked her out.

 

[Big N]

Here is why your "direct approach" sucks.

You build absolutely no attraction.
You build absolutely no rapport.


FMAC, man. Finding is the hardest part. Attracting is the easiest part. If you don't attract her, you won't close her properly.

Flake rate with the "direct approach" will be 90%+.

 

[Cobb]

the theory of a direct approach does work pretty well for alot of girls who are sick of hearing cheesy and unoriginal lines coming from most guys that approach them.
but you're failing to realise that a direct appraoch does nothing more than give you a good "foot in the door" so to speak.
once you're in there, then you have to as mentioned above establish rapport and connection and demonstrate that you are a person worth knowing.
if all you do is ask their name then their number then the only thing that you have demonstrated to her is your appearence. and you'd have to be pretty fekkin good looking for that to work on it's own.
a freind of mine always goes for the direct approach simply saying that he thinks they look like they could be interesting and wanted to find out if they were, or something similar and then builds rapport and humour from that point.

 

[MacArthur]

Even if a random girl you meet says no to giving you her number, you can still build rapport, and increase attraction by continuing talking to her, if the situation permits. Or there can be a little more chatter before asking for her number if the situation is appropriate and such chatter would warm her up and more comfortable. I consider these variations on the direct approach.

I think the success rate will be higher if she knows you or recognizes you first and is comfortable with you, generally speaking. That is where the importance of routine comes in, you pass by each other each day on the way to work, or whatever.

The attraction and rapport building are certainly important. I used different words, but that is what I meant when I said seduction. I consider things like building attraction and rapport to be regular soft-sell seduction.

Sometimes, and this was my original point, it is possible to get too concerned with building attraction and forget the importance of closing. Or you chat for too long, thinking you are increasing her comfort level and interest in you, only to find out that she has a boyfriend. When you close upfront, at least you know where she stand's with you. If she's in a relationship or something you can keep chatting as possible new friends. Or, if she is interested, you can take it up a notch, and she will probably be impressed that you were upfront about what you want.

I hope that clarifies things.