Pulled from Neil Strauss' "The Game" and a discussion on Tucker Max's discussion board...
MOST guys addicted to the pick-up, to the scene, to getting "lots of chicks", are guys who are seeking validation. The game, itself, IS what they want. They don't care about the pvssy so much as they care doing it, night after night. The successes give them validation, something they can actually do.
Westcoaster mentioned how most PUA's hew knew became AFC's once they settled down. HMMM, "wonder why that is?" Maybe it's because they're great at getting numbers, at the "scene of interaction," and the occasionally closing, BUT can't manage the women after, or themselves?
Maybe it's also because they only focus on 1 aspect of relationships or their involvment with women and they EASILY next them when they aren't easy to manage in their stable of women?
Maybe it's because their ego's are so fragile that they can't tolerate A LITTLE edginess and A LITTLE abrasion from women?
As pointed out, most mPUA's and seduction material in existence breaks down the "traits" of the masters, and hopes to assemble them in a weaker, beta male. A guy who hasn't had success attempts to don a few of the pieces of the guys getting laid to get happy, but does that REALLY make him happy??
Heck no! Because he knows STILL the skills or talents or traits he's acquired are not his, they did not come from within like the "Naturals" did. NLP likes modeling, but it doesn't work in the world of women and picking up as well as it does in sales, business or investing. Guys seeking the women community because it's like the best reward, low risk, and easy to get into. It serves our very basic needs. Sex.
THAT has been my theme at the very least, and my point. Sure, you might ACQUIRE the traits other guys had, but that will NEVER give you the satisfaction that doing it yourself will ever provide. THAT is the source of happiness. Doing it on your own, believing in yourself, and finding out that what you created, brought you happiness and success. I can site a million cases where some of my own pursuits yield the results I desired and I was overwhelmed with joy and confidence.
--------------------------
If you've read P_S and any of his posts, he's totally opposite the slimey guru's you read about and that are so well-followed. If picking up chicks is your thing, fine. I'm not here to judge. I realized this long ago, but it's something every guy who starts out that must learn on their own.
It's also why many guys come here REGULARLY asking the same, most basic questions. If you cultivated the type of person inside, nobody would have to answer one of these things. If you learned how to answer them on your own and deal with them by yourself, you'd be 1000x happier, even if they bytch flaked, or cheated, or didn't call, or gave you weird signals, or LJBF'ed you. You'd still HAVE that part of you to own, and you'd KNOW, you could meet another chick, because you'd be relying on YOU.
Instead, alot of guys buy David D stuff, or Ross Jeffries stuff, or go to workshops, acquiring their talents, integrating them into their personalities, hoping to gain results, because at least that competency will give you the confidence and control in your life you don't have anywhere else.
THIS is why the AFC dynamic exists, and isn't just linked to women, it's about life in general. Women are but one component, and some guys SOLVE that 1 piece, but leave the rest completely alone. Notice how so many guys report on how people behave @ work??
Isn't that nuts? All around them, and us, you try to break down the world into picking up women? Into how AFC a guy @ work is, or @ a coffee shop, or in class, or @ the gym...how sad is that?
-------------------------
An analogy from sales. In sales, you could read 100 books. Spin Selling. Joe Girard. Jim Rohn. The Sales Bible. Jeffrey Gitomer. But even if you pour over these books night after night, you'll be technically right, but NEVER be emotionally connected to the person you're dealing with so as to REALLY sell them. You have to be IN the field, failing and succeeding, because each failure highlights a short-coming, and the mind notes that and corrects for NEXT time.
And each success builds your confidence. Obviously if you're not thick-skinned enough to fail, then you can't acquire the benefits of doing it, but it's really the only way.
There are those that know the game they're involved in is just that, a game, because it's the playing it that matters more, it's not the results. It's learning the tricks and tactics that matters more, not building anything of long-term value. It's not walking away with a hot-gf, it's trying to get laid alot, because through that, it's felt self-confidence can be built where it doesn't exist.
All fallacies.
I believe there's 3 camps....
1. Those that play the "game" for self-confidence and personal issues. (You can read these guys easy).
2. Those that see quick lays because they don't believe in monogamy. (These guys are like the one's above, but aren't so bent on the PUA community to do, they're more natural and have done it prior to coming here).
3. Those guys seeking to LEARN about how to deal with women, and be more successful IN a relationship.
One and Two we've spoken on, but number 3 is the guy who wants to understand his relationship with a woman better, to open himself up, and gain confidence. To escape from the matrix of social control that squelched his masculine nature. You don't have to be an Alpha guy to get chicks. You might not get 1000 girls in your lifetime, but you CAN get at least 20. I'll guarantee that. Yes, 20. And that's above the average of 6 or 10. So who cares?
What's more important...getting girls you WANT and LIKE while living the life you WANT....OR, getting 100 chicks @ clubs, bars, and raves, not really liking them, but giving your life up to sex and women???
I won't tell you HOW to organize your life, or the goals that you seek, or where to meet friends, or what to do, or to be wealthy, or happy, or involved...I will say...if you don't have that as it relates to your own life, if you're not happy with what you do, who you hang with, your hobbies, your family, whatever...you won't find it with women. And you won't find it here. Many guys use the "game" for that, but it won't be had. It's like searching for the Lost Fountain of Youth.
A-Unit
Now, what am I saying here? What was Neil Strauss saying? What was Tucker Max saying?
MOST guys addicted to the pick-up, to the scene, to getting "lots of chicks", are guys who are seeking validation. The game, itself, IS what they want. They don't care about the pvssy so much as they care doing it, night after night. The successes give them validation, something they can actually do.
Westcoaster mentioned how most PUA's hew knew became AFC's once they settled down. HMMM, "wonder why that is?" Maybe it's because they're great at getting numbers, at the "scene of interaction," and the occasionally closing, BUT can't manage the women after, or themselves?
Maybe it's also because they only focus on 1 aspect of relationships or their involvment with women and they EASILY next them when they aren't easy to manage in their stable of women?
Maybe it's because their ego's are so fragile that they can't tolerate A LITTLE edginess and A LITTLE abrasion from women?
As pointed out, most mPUA's and seduction material in existence breaks down the "traits" of the masters, and hopes to assemble them in a weaker, beta male. A guy who hasn't had success attempts to don a few of the pieces of the guys getting laid to get happy, but does that REALLY make him happy??
Heck no! Because he knows STILL the skills or talents or traits he's acquired are not his, they did not come from within like the "Naturals" did. NLP likes modeling, but it doesn't work in the world of women and picking up as well as it does in sales, business or investing. Guys seeking the women community because it's like the best reward, low risk, and easy to get into. It serves our very basic needs. Sex.
THAT has been my theme at the very least, and my point. Sure, you might ACQUIRE the traits other guys had, but that will NEVER give you the satisfaction that doing it yourself will ever provide. THAT is the source of happiness. Doing it on your own, believing in yourself, and finding out that what you created, brought you happiness and success. I can site a million cases where some of my own pursuits yield the results I desired and I was overwhelmed with joy and confidence.
--------------------------
If you've read P_S and any of his posts, he's totally opposite the slimey guru's you read about and that are so well-followed. If picking up chicks is your thing, fine. I'm not here to judge. I realized this long ago, but it's something every guy who starts out that must learn on their own.
It's also why many guys come here REGULARLY asking the same, most basic questions. If you cultivated the type of person inside, nobody would have to answer one of these things. If you learned how to answer them on your own and deal with them by yourself, you'd be 1000x happier, even if they bytch flaked, or cheated, or didn't call, or gave you weird signals, or LJBF'ed you. You'd still HAVE that part of you to own, and you'd KNOW, you could meet another chick, because you'd be relying on YOU.
Instead, alot of guys buy David D stuff, or Ross Jeffries stuff, or go to workshops, acquiring their talents, integrating them into their personalities, hoping to gain results, because at least that competency will give you the confidence and control in your life you don't have anywhere else.
THIS is why the AFC dynamic exists, and isn't just linked to women, it's about life in general. Women are but one component, and some guys SOLVE that 1 piece, but leave the rest completely alone. Notice how so many guys report on how people behave @ work??
Isn't that nuts? All around them, and us, you try to break down the world into picking up women? Into how AFC a guy @ work is, or @ a coffee shop, or in class, or @ the gym...how sad is that?
-------------------------
An analogy from sales. In sales, you could read 100 books. Spin Selling. Joe Girard. Jim Rohn. The Sales Bible. Jeffrey Gitomer. But even if you pour over these books night after night, you'll be technically right, but NEVER be emotionally connected to the person you're dealing with so as to REALLY sell them. You have to be IN the field, failing and succeeding, because each failure highlights a short-coming, and the mind notes that and corrects for NEXT time.
And each success builds your confidence. Obviously if you're not thick-skinned enough to fail, then you can't acquire the benefits of doing it, but it's really the only way.
There are those that know the game they're involved in is just that, a game, because it's the playing it that matters more, it's not the results. It's learning the tricks and tactics that matters more, not building anything of long-term value. It's not walking away with a hot-gf, it's trying to get laid alot, because through that, it's felt self-confidence can be built where it doesn't exist.
All fallacies.
I believe there's 3 camps....
1. Those that play the "game" for self-confidence and personal issues. (You can read these guys easy).
2. Those that see quick lays because they don't believe in monogamy. (These guys are like the one's above, but aren't so bent on the PUA community to do, they're more natural and have done it prior to coming here).
3. Those guys seeking to LEARN about how to deal with women, and be more successful IN a relationship.
One and Two we've spoken on, but number 3 is the guy who wants to understand his relationship with a woman better, to open himself up, and gain confidence. To escape from the matrix of social control that squelched his masculine nature. You don't have to be an Alpha guy to get chicks. You might not get 1000 girls in your lifetime, but you CAN get at least 20. I'll guarantee that. Yes, 20. And that's above the average of 6 or 10. So who cares?
What's more important...getting girls you WANT and LIKE while living the life you WANT....OR, getting 100 chicks @ clubs, bars, and raves, not really liking them, but giving your life up to sex and women???
I won't tell you HOW to organize your life, or the goals that you seek, or where to meet friends, or what to do, or to be wealthy, or happy, or involved...I will say...if you don't have that as it relates to your own life, if you're not happy with what you do, who you hang with, your hobbies, your family, whatever...you won't find it with women. And you won't find it here. Many guys use the "game" for that, but it won't be had. It's like searching for the Lost Fountain of Youth.
A-Unit