The Definitive Guide To Flirting

[Craig Reeves]

When you are interested in a woman, flirting is a MUST. Flirting is the difference between a *casual* conversation, and a *sexual* conversation (sexual as more in gender, not intercourse). Think about it, the woman that you are communicating with will not be affected by you sexually unless you speak to her like a WOMAN, and not another guy.....you *would* flirt with a woman, but you wouldn't flirt with a guy, so there IS a difference.

Most guys, however, do not know how to flirt properly. That, or they just don't flirt at all. They may think that it is somehow WRONG to flirt with a woman that they do not know, or they may think that the woman is going to feel attraction based off of speaking to her, but that is not the case at all.

I have said this in posts in the past, and I will say it in this one....ATTRACTION IS A SPECIAL EMOTION. Emotions are NOT triggered by looks, income, or lifestyle. Emotion is triggered by how somebody is treated. Happiness is an emotion, saddness is an emotion, attraction is an emotion.

Most guys know how to make a woman HAPPY, most guys know how to make a woman ANGRY, and even most guys know how to make a woman feel SCARED. Most guys, however, do not know how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION. Flirting is the best way possible to create this attraction/

Flirting is a fun, and harmless way of showing interest in the opposite sex (not unless there's homosexuality involved). Let me repeat that, flirting is a FUN, and HARMLESS way of showing interest in the opposite sex.

Most guys try to flirt by giving a bunch of compliments, and telling the woman how he feels and all that good stuff. What fun is that? Think about it, what's so fun about compliments? Sure they're nice and sincere, but are they really that much FUN?

Sure, giving a bunch of compliments and telling her how wonderful she is will make the woman feel HAPPY, but we're not going for HAPPY, we're going for ATTRACTION. They aren't the same things.

Some guys take the opposite road. They try and come off as some jerk to make the woman see that "he is not intimidated by her beauty" or whatever. This is actually worse than the "nice guy" approach. Because not only are you no fun, but you're also being HARMFUL. Flirting is NEVER supposed to be HARMFUL. Remember, it is a FUN and HARMLESS way of showing interest.

The correct way to flirt is to concentrate on having FUN with her. Your goal is to HAVE FUN. Don't be afraid to pick on her alittle bit. Don't be afraid to do fun activities with her. Don't be afraid to laugh at some funny traits about her and tell her about them.

Another aspect is to make eye contact and hold your body language as if you are actually enjoying her company. This means NO slouching foward and speaking really fast, because it makes you look nervous and uninterested. You don't break eye contact until SHE breaks it first, bottom line. This is the best way to show interest. Also, kino is a nice addition too, but is generally not really needed really early on.

And something else, be SURE that your flirting is effective by CLOSING. Either get her email or phone number as soon as you leave.

And one more thing, be sure that you know WHEN TO STOP. As soon as the energy begins to die down, or she is about to end the conversation, go straight to your closing and get her digits or email (or both).

Flirting is a wonderful and fun thing, but it DOES take practice. Once you master the art of flirting, you can just decide to flirt with a woman and it will all come naturally. So good luck, and get out there and work on your flirting skills!

Thanks, and God bless,
Craig Reeves

 

[jwhite17]

Yo Craig,
Excellent post clarifying the point of flirting is to have fun. Anyways, how's the book coming along? And do I get a free copy ? I really would like to see what you have to say and then tell you how WRONG you are!(j/k)

JW

 

[THA REALNESS]

I agree everytime i aproach a chic i flirt....





...i flirt with idea of putting my mu****ing kane upside they head and my gaters all up in they booty-hole.

break a b1tch till the world blow up or another girl shows up,ya smell me byatch??!

 

[Deep Dish]

When you are interested in a woman, flirting is a MUST.

Having fun is a must however flirting is not. Flirting is that thing women do to try to compel the guy to ask her out; it is “To run and dart about; to act with giddiness, or from a desire to attract notice; especially, to play the coquette; to play at courtship; to coquet; as, they flirt with the young men.” Men should not flirt. There is no reason to wear a skirt.

I do not flirt, though I wouldn't be surprised if guys who I know said I do. I joke with guys, I play around and joke with girls, yet somehow because it's to a girl that it is somehow labeled 'flirting'.

Most guys, however, do not know how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION.

A woman feels it or not within five seconds of meeting the guy. Attraction is independent of actions.

Flirting is the best way possible to create this attraction.

You can not create attraction. It is either there or it never will, and it remains the same.

Women are like radio signals. At first the signal we pick up is at its weakest and as we draw closer the signal strengthens, but the source signal remains constant. At times the signal never grows strong no matter how close we get, simply because the source signal was never strong to begin with. When a woman first meets a guy and likes what she sees, she will hide her true feelings; she will fear whether or not the guy will like her back and she will fear whether or not she should be interested in him (whether or not he is 'safe'). Granted things go smoothly, as time goes on it will become steadily more apparent she likes him, because those fear barriers are dropping, but her attraction for the guy remains constant.

The correct way to flirt is to concentrate on having FUN with her. Your goal is to HAVE FUN.

Scratch out the words "to flirt" and I agree. Since one's mindset is very important, as I view things I have fun for myself and women are mere fun catalysts. I have fun to amuse myself, interacting with the women to generate fun, but since they get fun as well they benefit even though I was having fun for myself. With this mindset, there is no worrying, no stuttering, no blunders, no boredom; because rather than focusing on the woman the focus is on what I find fun. I'm not trying to nitpick, just illustrating a different mindset. How we view things can make all the difference.

 

[Tiandan]

Hey Craig Reeves if your reading this........good post but where are the actual techniques ? You speak of the right way and wrong way.....examples? actual technique ? Don't leave us hanging. Thanks.

 

[Craig Reeves]

Having fun is a must however flirting is not. Flirting is that thing women do to try to compel the guy to ask her out; it is “To run and dart about; to act with giddiness, or from a desire to attract notice; especially, to play the coquette; to play at courtship; to coquet; as, they flirt with the young men.” Men should not flirt. There is no reason to wear a skirt.

Whatever definition of flirting that is, that isn't what I'm talking about.

I do not flirt, though I wouldn't be surprised if guys who I know said I do. I joke with guys, I play around and joke with girls, yet somehow because it's to a girl that it is somehow labeled 'flirting'.

You probably don't joke with guys the same way as you do with women. If you do, you're one of the few.

A woman feels it or not within five seconds of meeting the guy. Attraction is independent of actions.

That's not true at all. Attraction can easily take from about 5 minutes to 5 MONTHS to finally surface....if attraction could only occur within the first 4 seconds of metting a guy, then friends would not be able to become attracted to each other romantically, because they've certainly been friends longer than just 5 seconds.

There have been TOO MANY TIMES, where I saw a young lady, thought she was cute, approached her, and turned back feeling NO attraction. It certainly wasn't because of her looks, because if it was, I probably wouldn't have ever approached her anyways. It was because she did not make me feel attraction for her.

There have also been many times where I talked to a lady, but didn't start to feel attraction until like the 5th time I talked to her! This happens all the time.

Women are like radio signals. At first the signal we pick up is at its weakest and as we draw closer the signal strengthens, but the source signal remains constant. At times the signal never grows strong no matter how close we get, simply because the source signal was never strong to begin with.

I see what your analogy means, but I can't say that I agree with it. Afterall, what is it that's going to effect her "source signal" if she has only known you for 5 seconds?? 5 seconds is NOT a lot of time.

She could form INTEREST in you within 5 seconds....hell, she could form INTEREST in you just because she thinks your cute....but INTEREST and ATTRACTION are two very DIFFERENT things. Interest is simply her wanting to get to know you.....attraction is when she wants to get involved with you. Attraction level OVERRIDES interest level.

When a woman first meets a guy and likes what she sees, she will hide her true feelings; she will fear whether or not the guy will like her back and she will fear whether or not she should be interested in him (whether or not he is 'safe'). Granted things go smoothly, as time goes on it will become steadily more apparent she likes him, because those fear barriers are dropping, but her attraction for the guy remains constant.

I know tons of married couples who didn't fall in love until they knew each other for YEARS. If your theory was correct, it would never take years for relationships to happen, because the woman would have been feeling attraction for the guy anyways, and he would have been doing the same.

Scratch out the words "to flirt" and I agree. Since one's mindset is very important, as I view things I have fun for myself and women are mere fun catalysts. I have fun to amuse myself, interacting with the women to generate fun, but since they get fun as well they benefit even though I was having fun for myself.

Note that I said WITH her, and not FOR her. You should be having fun with her for YOU, I agree with that.

And as for you Tiandan, I don't necessarily like "techniques", but I guess I can give you some examples.

Flirt Session One

Me: "Hey there, how are you?"

Her: "Hi there, I'm fine. How are you?"

Me: "I'm good. I feel like meeting somebody new, and you seem pretty approachable. What's your name?"

Her: "My name is Michelle"

Me: "What's up, Michelle, I'm Craig."

Her: "It's nice to meet you, Craig". *shake hands*

(I immediatly go into flirting mode, here)

Me: Hm. *kind of look around her with this fake-detective look*

Her: *laughs* "What's the matter?"

Me: "Hm. You don't seem like your from around here."

Her: *smiles* "Where do you think I'm from?"

Me: "Well, you kind of talk like you're from Kansas, but you kinda have that swagger about you that screams Iceland or something. You must be one of them prim-and-proper types, right?" *smiles*

Her: "Haha. Well, my parents are immaculate, what can I say, heh."

Me: "Well, I tell ya what....unless you start getting a little sloppier RIGHT NOW, I think I'm going to die a slow and painful agonizing death.

Her: *laughs* "Why!?"

Me: *grins* "OK! You know what!? I've had enough of this. I think your finishing school antics are making me dizzy. How about you give me your email (or phone #) so we can talk later, because you seem like somebody I could choose to be one of my friends.

End of Flirting Session

I make eye contact doing this the entire time, btw. That's just a made-up example.

 

[Tiandan]

Thanks for the tip Craig.....the reason I asked for some technique examples is the theory could be great but without practical ways to use it, it's pointless.....

....Not everyone has "The Gift Of Gab"....I'm working on better communication with the ladies.

 

[tactic]

(I immediatly go into flirting mode, here)

Me: Hm. *kind of look around her with this fake-detective look*

Her: *laughs* "What's the matter?"

Me: "Hm. You don't seem like your from around here."

Her: *smiles* "Where do you think I'm from?"

Um...dude, no offense to your help but this is a 50/50 bull****/working convo...

She's not going to laugh at ALL times when you give her a fake-detective look... if you don't even know her and you give her that look, she'll be like "wtf is his problem?"... not ALL girls will laugh you know... there are some girls who have different personalities and they would take things very seriously. It ALSO depends on how you talk to them... if you have a funny voice and you talk to them like you are trying too hard, they will laugh at you and talk **** about you with her friends...

Tiad,
alot of people here do not help you by giving you ACTUAL techniques... even if they do, it is 50/50 bull****/working tactic. Not ALL girls have the same personality..... FORGET About ALL... EVERY women are different... Confidence is the main key. I would like some of these DJs to proove their skills on women... too bad this is the internet and the DJs live so far away from us, there is no proof to be shown in real life.

 

[Craig Reeves]

Um...dude, no offense to your help but this is a 50/50 bull****/working convo...

She's not going to laugh at ALL times when you give her a fake-detective look... if you don't even know her and you give her that look, she'll be like "wtf is his problem?"... not ALL girls will laugh you know... there are some girls who have different personalities and they would take things very seriously. It ALSO depends on how you talk to them... if you have a funny voice and you talk to them like you are trying too hard, they will laugh at you and talk **** about you with her friends...

I didn't post that example for him to go out and use it. I posted that example because he asked me to post an example. If a woman were to see any of my actions as "not funny", or "stupid", then I would probably know it BEFORE I did it. I don't treat all women the same way, and you shouldn't either.

 

[tactic]

Don't worry, I don't... there are different interests that each women have...

Your convo is like a "perfect" conversation with a chick... i WISH that happened with me but hey it's the real world... We need to find ways for ourselves to make chicks laugh no matter HOW different they are....

Most chicks i met are very different in conversations from the beginning of your example with "Michelle"... (That may be different from where we live of course...)
I would go up to them and say Hi, what's up? ... they would reply "Nothing"... I would be expecting them to say "Nothing...what about you?"... which they do not! Then i tell them.. "Yeah same here... class is pretty boring isn't it?"... and they just nod.... the WEIRD part is... I wait the next day, and i see them all happy, smiling at me...

There were some girls who would NOT... of course there are several reasons:

1)Her friends talked crap about you
2)She had a bad day
3)She was dumped
4)Someone close died
5)Many others...

This is why it is so difficult to find out why chicks are mad, sad, or happy at times... Unless they are personal friends, it is easier... but we men do not have every chick friends who tell personal things, do they? Of course not.

I'm trying to make a point now... not all conversations will work out for some guys, but for others (professional DJs) they will get the women to fall in LOVE with them after a few days.

Also... about the club part about not approaching and letting them approach you first... did you say that it's the best tactic to use because it's worked the best for you or because you've seen it many times with your friends?


tactic

 

[SuSHI]

This tip sucks balls

Sorry, I don't normally agree with DeepDish. But I will have to go with him on this one.

I'm not flaming you BTW.

I agree with you on one thing though
Craig, that having fun will create natural confidence you can't find anywhere else.

You shouldn't read too much into flirting. Attraction is a BIOLOGICAL thing in my mind. I can "flirt" with a gril without even talking to her. Eye contact is by far the best and only tool a man could need to "flirt" with.

You are a man. You shouldn't have to flirt like a little girl.

I somewhat believe in the Ladder Theory. I have read a bit of it a while ago, and someone on this forum has brought it up recently in a thread. You should check it out.

SuSHI.

 

[Craig Reeves]

That's the whole point, you DON'T flirt like a girl...that's not flirting, that's acting like a girl.

I wish I wouldn't have posted that example because it is a bad one. I'm not good at examples.

 

[tactic]

Don't feel bad about that, man... Mistakes happen. Anyway, flirting is only useful if you know a way of doing it. Some people might suck with flirting. It all depends on how they show their faces and body, if you know what I mean. It's always different for many guys, and many girls.I can see from observation and conversations that the chicks are attracted to guys who have a good body shape and looks. Then they go for social skills... But of course, if the guy knows the girl likes him, then that's when you start flirting. Or just flirt anyways.

 

[Deep Dish]

You probably don't joke with guys the same way as you do with women. If you do, you're one of the few.

I do. My style remains constant.

Attraction can easily take from about 5 minutes to 5 MONTHS to finally surface.

How long attraction may take to become apparent is moot.

Friends would not be able to become attracted to each other romantically, because they've certainly been friends longer than just 5 seconds.

Two people being friends has no bearing on if they have sexual attraction towards each other. There are three types of attraction: sexual, romantic, platonic. Which is why you can be friends with a hot chick but you'd be horrible being together, or be great lovers with a female friend if only you found her physically attractive. Male-female friends, at least so it seems to me and that I have experienced, start out with one wanting the other and with the other either not reciprocating or unavailable to do so, or simply time ran out on the window of opportunity and they call themselves "friends" even though they really aren't. I have never had a female friend who did not follow that pattern; either I wanted her but she didn't, she wanted me but I didn't, or we couldn't get our act together for whatever reason.

I see what your analogy means, but I can't say that I agree with it. Afterall, what is it that's going to effect her "source signal" if she has only known you for 5 seconds?? 5 seconds is NOT a lot of time.

Yes, five seconds is not a long time, and may in fact not be that short, but point is it's decided pretty much instantaeously when you first meet her -- whether you'd be potential friends or lovers -- and there's nothing you can do to "create" the attraction. From what I have experienced, from both sides of the sexuality fence, attraction is heavily based on looks; it's based upon how much you fit within the archetype of what type of guy she responds to, her "love map" imprinted inside her head. It's not rational, of course, but that's human nature.

Others like Xblitz44x, Jake Steed, MoTU, SexPDX, and Pook have been pounding the same theme as I and, collectively, have written volumes on the subject. It's something I've been saying for years and is a view that guys naturally come to after awhile. It's just there or it is not.

She could form INTEREST in you within 5 seconds....hell, she could form INTEREST in you just because she thinks your cute....but INTEREST and ATTRACTION are two very DIFFERENT things. Interest is simply her wanting to get to know you.....attraction is when she wants to get involved with you. Attraction level OVERRIDES interest level.

You draw a line where I do not. Attraction is interest, and vice versa. No attraction, no interest.

For example, last week famed actor John Stamos came in and dined at the restaurant where I work. All the women at work were drooling over him. There is one really hot girl at work who is stone cold to all guys at work, seemingly impossible to penetrate; she was so excited she literally ran around, and said "I've got to get that table! He's so hot! He's like... Brad Pitt!" And in the kitchen the girls talked about his ass and they made a big deal wondering if he's gay because he was dining with an obviously gay man. But not all celebrities have gotten that celebrity treatment. Carrot Top comes in, it's no big deal. Blah, goes the tune.

You said earlier that attraction is not triggered by looks or lifestyle. John didn't say anything or flirt for all those women to drool over him; the fact women find him an Extremely Good-Looking A-List Hollywood Actor was all enough. You could bet that all of those women would, at drop of a hat, go out with John if he were like "Yeah, I'm going to the Oscars in a few months, want to come?" Carrot Top, on the other hand...

 

[Kelson]

Excellent point at the end there, DeepDish.

 

[tactic]

I doubt attraction can be 5 seconds though... Might depend.. There are some girls who think that some guys are not good looking at first, then when they see the inner self they will feel attraction. For me, when it comes to liking girls... It takes time to figure out if i am attracted to her or not. At first I would think.. "Man, she is annoying..." "Does she ever stop?" or "She has weird eyes..."... I would start to like her IF i realized something that i haven't earlier.

 

[Craig Reeves]

How long attraction may take to become apparent is moot.

The point of the matter is that attraction isn't a choice. Somebody cannot decide WHEN they will feel attraction for somebody, and it does NOT always happen instantaneously. In fact, there's the girl that goes to my school, who I've known for over a year. I have not felt any attraction for her ever since I have known her, we were just friends. But lately, I HAVE started to feel attraction for her.

Two people being friends has no bearing on if they have sexual attraction towards each other. There are three types of attraction: sexual, romantic, platonic. Which is why you can be friends with a hot chick but you'd be horrible being together, or be great lovers with a female friend if only you found her physically attractive. Male-female friends, at least so it seems to me and that I have experienced, start out with one wanting the other and with the other either not reciprocating or unavailable to do so, or simply time ran out on the window of opportunity and they call themselves "friends" even though they really aren't. I have never had a female friend who did not follow that pattern; either I wanted her but she didn't, she wanted me but I didn't, or we couldn't get our act together for whatever reason.

You're confusing attraction with INTEREST. Interest and ATTRACTION aren't the same things.

INTEREST is the desire to spend time with a person o GET TO KNOW HIM/HER, and see what he/she is like. Interest is kind of a HOPING FOR AN ATTRACTION. Interest is generated because you don't know somebody very well, and you would like to.

ATTRACTION is the desire to spend time with a person BECAUSE HE/SHE MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD. Attraction is generated because you ALREADY KNOW THE PERSON MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD. You look FORWARD to the times that you spend with the person, because they make you feel great.

You do NOT need a great deal of interest to feel attraction for somebody....this has been proven several times. I would not be feeling attraction for my friend all of a sudden if that was the case. I did not feel ANY attraction for this girl, UNTIL SHE STARTED TREATING ME DIFFERENTLY, that CREATED MY ATTRACTION.

The reason why some people can't gain attraction in others is because they do not know how to create attraction in that particular person.....not just because they were not physically their type. I know a ton of women who ARE physically my type who I am in no way attracted to and never was.

For example, last week famed actor John Stamos came in and dined at the restaurant where I work. All the women at work were drooling over him. There is one really hot girl at work who is stone cold to all guys at work, seemingly impossible to penetrate; she was so excited she literally ran around, and said "I've got to get that table! He's so hot! He's like... Brad Pitt!" And in the kitchen the girls talked about his ass and they made a big deal wondering if he's gay because he was dining with an obviously gay man. But not all celebrities have gotten that celebrity treatment. Carrot Top comes in, it's no big deal. Blah, goes the tune.

It is impossible to be attracted to somebody that you don't even know. John Stamos is a very good looking and famous celebrity...of COURSE all the ladies in resturant are going to be INTERESTED in him. Of course they're going to want to get to know him, because HE'S FAMOUS. Duh. If he wasn't famous, he WOULD NOT have gotten all that attention. They weren't ATTRACTED to him, though. They didn't want to spend time with him because he made them feel good when they did; it was simply because he was famous, and that he was a celebrity. That's interest built right in.

Carrot Top probably didn't get any attention because he's not nearly as famous as John Stamos, nor as good looking. Just because somebody gets attention DOES NOT AT ALL mean that the people who are paying to attention to him are attracted to him.

You said earlier that attraction is not triggered by looks or lifestyle. John didn't say anything or flirt for all those women to drool over him; the fact women find him an Extremely Good-Looking A-List Hollywood Actor was all enough.

They weren't attracted, they were just really interested in him.

You could bet that all of those women would, at drop of a hat, go out with John if he were like "Yeah, I'm going to the Oscars in a few months, want to come?" Carrot Top, on the other hand...

Just because a woman would date somebody does not mean in the slightest form that she is ATTRACTED to him. That just means she's interested in him.

 

[tactic]

It is impossible to be attracted to somebody that you don't even know.

I hate to say this but, I disagree with you about this. It IS possible to become attracted to somebody you don't even know. I was attracted to a girl i don't even know because I saw her a couple of times but never talked to her before...

Also, I know a girl who was attracted to a friendl (Now they became friends), because the girl saw the friend and she thought he was hott....
Interest is the same as Attraction... You are interested because you are attracted. You are attracted because you are interested. Just because you are attracted won't mean you want to go out with them.. It means you have interest but not as much to go out with them. I was reading your last reply agreeing with things when i came to the quote :

It is impossible to be attracted to somebody that you don't even know.

tactic

 

[Deep Dish]

It is impossible to be attracted to somebody that you don't even know.

Of course it's possible. It happens all the time across America and spanning the globe. There's even that term for it -- "love at first sight." Scientists have even pinned down lust at first sight; when you see some hot babe, or when some waitress sees John Stamos dining in her restaurant, the biochemical phenylethylamine shoots into your brain and makes you feel good. (And, thus, your definition of attraction is met).

Some women develop crushes, and sometimes -- to my horror -- even full-blown infatuations, borderline obsession, for me without my ever saying a word, or perhaps only a half-dozen half sentences. It would be foolish to say that there was no attraction for me, no yet desire to get together. You say attraction is based on how someone is treated, yet to those borderline obsessed women I was frigid cold and ignored them even to downright rudeness, yet still they would always pine for hoping I'd want them. They felt good, by the biochemicals rushing around in their bodies, but how I treated them certainly wasn't pleasant.

If anything, if one draws distinction between attraction and interest, attraction comes first. No attraction no interest in getting to know. I have never come across any woman, who found me repugnant, who initiated any attempt in getting to know me.

It is only guys who have problems attracting women who concern themselves with "creating attraction" and buck against the importance of looks. Beautiful people don't.

I agree that attraction is not a choice, in sense of who, but don't you see that damns your argument. Since you can not choose who you are attracted to, there's nothing that those who you are not attracted to can do to sway your attraction towards them. Of the two times I've ever found myself attracted to a woman after initially not, in retrospect I realized I was attracted to them all along, it's only that I had written them off and it was rather subdued, and my 'attraction' was short-lived, for it instantly died when I realized I wasn't going to get with them.

 

[TheRisingSon]

Delusions and Sematics

First, I would like to discuss semantics. Craig, you have "attraction" and "interest" reversed. Seriously consider the definition of these words. Every single woman that I've been interested in, I was attracted to. Else, I wouldn't have been interested in listening to them go on and on about womanly things... You know, "Then that b!tch said this, and then did that!" Would I really care if I wasn't looking to get some? Of course, even looking to get some, I was interested in that, but interested in her.

Second, I have long been a supporter of the "self improvement" movement around here. Sorry, but you are deluding yourself if you think you can talk someone into being attracted to you. Either the attraction was there all along, or it never will be. All you are doing is putting in enough time to make it obvious. Seriously, could an ugly, fat, 50 year old woman talk you into being attracted to her? She might get you to fvck her, but you still would not find her hot. I've slept with women because they had money and bought me nice things. No matter what, I couldn't ever be in a relationship with them. I didn't even want to be in public with them! (And couldn't even orgasm during sex... Yes, men do fake it!)

As to flirting, my stance is along the lines of Anti-Dump (and thus Deep Dish, Pook, etc.). Flirting is NOT needed. It might even hurt. One of the most common themes here is "Why does the one I want not want me, but the ones I don't want think I am God?!?" Maybe it goes back to "Mystery" and being a "Challenge?" Dunno. You are writing the book. Point is, flirting is part of treating those "special" women you find attractive different than the others.

I am with Deep Dish. Some might consider what I do with women technique. They are the ones who don't want to be "themselves" and follow a guru's advice. Fact of the matter is, though, that I treat women no differently than I treat anyone else. I use "****y and Funny," not because it is a trick, but because that is who I am. I use it with both men and women. No real difference. Both respond the same way, they laugh, smile, and think I am "cool." Of course, not all feel that way, but who cares? I've been told many times I am "cool" because I do what I want and don't care what other's think about me.

So, I don't flirt. Women must not be attracted or interested in me since I don't create that emotion, right? I used to work in an environment where I was one of 7 or 8 guys with 30 or so women. They ridiculed most of the men or simply ignored them. Me? They litterally used to talk about having me in "sandwiches," told me how great I looked (I love your shirt, shoes, hair, cologne, etc.). Did I "flirt" with any of them? I barely even talked to any of them. Yet they would come up and touch me any chance they got... "Oh, you had something on your chest."

What's the point? Don't fool yourself, face reality and realize you can't make someone want to fvck you. Either they do, or they don't. Sure, confidence and attitude help. After all, peronality is an important part of attraction, but is is only part. It will help you carry yourself in a way that makes others notice, but once they notice there better be something they see that they like.

Where does all this leave the "average" guy? In the same place as the "average" woman. If she has a decent personality, dresses well, is slim, and has big boobs she will get dates. I've known enough women to tell you that if you take care of yourself, dress well, have a nice chest, six pack, and big d!ck (though she won't know until too late, but her friends will) you will get dates. After all, women are men with vaginas when it comes to lust.

I've Risen