The definition of a "quality woman"? [Merged Thread]

[mrRuckus]

Maybe in some cases they still don't earn as much as men do, but all that aside,.

Wait wait wait.

Firstly that's not even proven. That's been kicked around forever and hardly ever does anyone point to sources or anything of that nature.

Even if true, it's because they accept it. You get a job offer, you negotiate the salary. What fault is it of anyone else but your own if you accept a low ball offer? Whose fault is it if you don't ask for a bigger raise?

And if it's true why isn't anyone complaining that only women can find jobs? I mean if women worked so cheap companies would be hiring hordes of women to do jobs just like they hire cheap immigrant labor and offshore jobs to india. But I look around and see men absolutely everywhere in town working jobs.

 

[mzilla2]

This deserved emphasis. Too often guys believe it's their job to support the family fiscally; it's as if they define their masculinity by their ability to pay the bills. Companies coming out of bankruptcy are or better value than those going into bankruptcy. The same should be considered when choosing a mate. Financial solvency is important.

X3

Not all, but a surprisingly high proportion of the women I meet are teetering on the brink financially... I mean they have decent paying jobs, careers and education, but the spending is out of control!

Living paycheque to paycheque, the credit cards are maxed out, no retirement savings, don't own their home, but have 3 tropical vacations a year, drinks and dinners out 3 nights a week, the latest in $ fashion handbags, and a brand new car financed on balloon payments.

I often wonder, if some of them do consider marriage a financial panacea... LOL @ the term "Marrying well"

So ya, "caveat emptor"... A chicks ability and desire to live within her means is paramount...

 

[Latinoman]

The age criteria, is for me, a rough guideline... I won't dismiss folks outside that range, just in my experience thats the age where women seem to start developing traits or have lived and learned enough to be movin' in the same direction as me.

Sure there are exceptions to every rule, older chicks who act like 19 y/o's, and 19 y/o's who have a very mature perspective on things, but it's like statistics, there is a "bell curve"... LOL

If I was 40, 50 or 21, I'm sure the age range would be different.

My point is that age cannot be used to categorize quality or lack of on a person

Now...PREFERENCE is another thing as I agree with you and my preference is the same (and I'm 39)...the BEST time to get a woman (GENERALLY speaking) is when she is around that age range (or younger). Especially is she has never been married or has children.

 

[Latinoman]

Note:

I want to make something clear...

Financial stability in a man doe NOT mean that he has to make 6 figure salary. He can make the $15 per hour (as mentioned before) and be more than suitable as he might manage his $$$ well and have little to no debts.

Also, if the man is young or relatively young...an important thing is his ability to advance in his life. The VERY smart women see that in some men and "invest" on them. My ex-wife saw that on me when I was very poor and practically a kid. My current girlfriend see that on me (my potential to even go further).

 

[Mr.Positive]

Aaaah. Hmmm. Yeah! They are. Was just having a similar conversation with an old female friend who is 34, divorced, 2 kids, was kinda hot about a year ago, but she's gaining weight and is loosing her shape.

I was telling her about and showing her pix of the young 21 year old, big breasted girly I was involved with.

"She's 12 years younger than you!"

"Off course she is. What, did you expect me to be with a 30 year old?" Hahaha. Wished I could have videotaped the look in her face.

THIS is NOT cool. Doing this to a woman is the male equivalent of a HB dangling sex info the nice guy AFC, then screwing a bunch of other guys and telling him about it.

There was no point in punishing this woman. Be above that. This post screams bitterness and insecurity.

 

[Wyldfire]

Well, Wyldfire married a drunk.

I really am SO SICK of the personal attacks that have absolutely NO relevance to the topics they are constantly brought into discussions by people such as yourself.

First...my ex husband was NOT a drunk at the time I married him. Alcoholism isn't something that happens over night.

Years later had unprotected sex with a drug addict (she got pregnant)

My daughter's father was NOT addicted to drugs at the time of her conception. We also used a fvcking condom for the millionth time. He developed a drug problem about a year and a half ago and got clean over 6 months ago and is still clean.

...and then was engaged to an ex-convict (although, he probably was a nice person after serving time).

After leaving my ex husband I met 3 kids whose mother had just committed suicide. They were 19, 18 and 10. I got very close to them and met my fiance through them...he was their father. Our mutual love for his kids led to us falling in love and being engaged for 5 years. He was a WONDERFUL man and died prior to me getting pregnant with my daughter.

And most of that was during her 30s.

No, I got married in 1984 and my daughter was born in 2000. That is from age 18 to 35....a 17 year time span.

Trust me...we have ZERO commonality.

Yeah...I actually tell the truth.

I am not trying to single attack Wyldfire.

Yes you are.

But I have issues with the way she is giving advice when her own life is a complete disarray.

Excuse me...but you don't know me or what my life is like. Your assumption is entirely false, per usual.

She is in NO position to be giving advice as she is truly confusing several of the men that come here asking for advice.

I actually give some of the best, most thorough, most helpful and effective advice on this site. I get dozens of PMs from guys on here privately thanking me for helping them and voicing their appreciation of me being here. The only reason they don't say so in posts is because people like you will start attacking them as well.

You really need to grow up. If you don't like my posts, then put me on ignore. There are far more people on here who like my posts than there are people who don't.

I have no problem with most people on this site...and am fully capable of having discussions and disagreements with other people in a mature way without resorting to personal attacks. So why is it that a few of the guys on here are so incapable of doing the same?

 

[Latinoman]

I really am SO SICK of the personal attacks that have absolutely NO relevance to the topics they are constantly brought into discussions by people such as yourself.

It is NOT a personal attack if YOU brought that particular fact into the forum. You have said several times that you married an alcoholic jerk.

My daughter's father was NOT addicted to drugs at the time of her conception. We also used a fvcking condom for the millionth time. He developed a drug problem about a year and a half ago and got clean over 6 months ago and is still clean.

Hmmmmm...yeah...sure....

After leaving my ex husband I met 3 kids whose mother had just committed suicide. They were 19, 18 and 10. I got very close to them and met my fiance through them...he was their father. Our mutual love for his kids led to us falling in love and being engaged for 5 years. He was a WONDERFUL man and died prior to me getting pregnant with my daughter.

The fact is...

1- You married an alcoholic (per your own admission) and accepted the "abuse" for 10 years. You posted that several times.

2- You got into sexual relations with the best-friend of your ex-boyfriend...and got pregnant. He happens to have drug addiction problems. YOU said that the other day.

3- Your past FIANCE was in jail. He was violently killed for whatever reasons.

No offense...those are facts! YOUR facts that you have posted over and over.

Maybe you have a completely different definition of what is a quality man or for that matter women. And in that case we have to agree to disagree. But, do NOT come in here and pretend you are dating certain type of men (as to illustrate your "value as a woman") when you have told us COUNTLESS time the kind of men you have been involved all your adulthood life.

That's the issue here. You're decieving people and masquerading that as advice, when in reallity you are seeking validation. That's a big No-No in a forum designed to help men in trouble as they might take your words as the gospel.

Yes you are.

Nope...I am not. But as a member of this Forum that comes here to give advice, I have a responsibility to make sure people are not deceived or that the advice given to them is not going to further sink them. Especially when it is very clear that the advice you are given is in the form to seek validation.

Excuse me...but you don't know me or what my life is like.

I DO NOT CARE! And NOBODY should care. You're the one sharing all the dirty details...and then come and try to give advice because you are seeking validation.

I actually give some of the best, most thorough, most helpful and effective advice on this site.

No...you don't. With the possible exception on the KISSING advice which was very well written.

Other than that...your advice tends to be eloquent...but POOR.

I get dozens of PMs from guys on here privately thanking me for helping them and voicing their appreciation of me being here.

So...you are here seeking validation. I know that as that is very clear.

The only reason they don't say so in posts is because people like you will start attacking them as well.

If you give an advice that a person follows and change his life ENTIRELY for the best...then that's GREAT. But I have read literally everything you and others have written. In fact, prior to joining this Forum, I read the ENTIRE Mature session...and I mean that. You are seeking for selfish reasons. You are here seeking validation and because you want to feel empowered. But for the same token...you truly do NOT give good advice.

You give some better than a lot of men in the General Forum (which is a clear indication that most of the men in sosuave.com are not equiped to give advice)...but that does not change the fact that your advice is very faulty.

You really need to grow up. If you don't like my posts, then put me on ignore. There are far more people on here who like my posts than there are people who don't.

Who cares about liking or disliking your posts? This is NOT a popularity context.

Women spill their guts everywhere...even to strangers in places such as the bathroom ect. Men are different. Do you realize how hard it is for some men to go to an anonymous place like this one and seek help in issues such as relationships? This is nothing to joke or play around with.

And you are NOT showing that respect. You are using this as a medium to seek validation and gain popularity irregardless of the damage your advice (which tends to be faulty) might bring. YOU need to get your stuff together.

If anyone needs advice is your son. Dedicate that time to him.

I have no problem with most people on this site...and am fully capable of having discussions and disagreements with other people in a mature way without resorting to personal attacks. So why is it that a few of the guys on here are so incapable of doing the same?

Because we take this stuff serious and we know a poser when we see one.

You have left this place about 6-8 times. With the farewell thing. You have posted a picture (which by the way you are VERY AVERAGE looking) seeking validation from men. You try to bring credentials based on a handful of courses of some junior college you are visiting and pretending you are now an authority on this topics and you continue to bring your life (which is like a Jerry Springer drama) experiences in here and then complain when people call you on it or remind you that your advice does not match the reallity of your life.

 

[bigjohnson]

Screw "equivalent". I'm the real deal in this regard: I drag back kills regularly.

I know you're proud of that but in todays society that doesn't trigger the "good provider" reflex nearly as well as money does. The culture and conditioning have moved on.

 

[Vulpine]

I know you're proud of that but in todays society that doesn't trigger the "good provider" reflex nearly as well as money does. The culture and conditioning have moved on.

I won't deny that.

However, my point is that women don't bother taking home economics in highschool anymore. What is going to compensate for that lack of skills in the home? Money. Money buys services that a woman can't do herself. So money is actually a supplement. Men don't expect anything of women, so women don't provide anything. That's the culture. That's the conditioning. All a woman has to do is play some mind games, look sexy, put out, get a guy to marry her and *BAM*... all set. Oh, and she must know how to order pizza, subs, and chinese delivery.

Now, ponder why Americans are obese while you're at it.

 

[STR8UP]

Again...the only women who really care about money are gold diggers/users.

Reminds me of a religious person who claims to not be turned on by a naked picture of an attractive member of the opposite sex. Deny it all you want....

 

[Gangster Of Love]

THIS is NOT cool. Doing this to a woman is the male equivalent of a HB dangling sex info the nice guy AFC, then screwing a bunch of other guys and telling him about it.

There was no point in punishing this woman. Be above that. This post screams bitterness and insecurity.

I can see how in certain context, it would be what you said above. This is somebody I've known for 21 years. Just friends, and that is all we will ever be. There is no agenda, and no need to lie or game her or brag or hide things. I am very indiferent. She and our mutual friend (who've I've known for a long time too) like to grill me and get personal info from me. They are very judmental without really knowing me (kinda like you, haha), specially her, and when I tell them personal stuff, they try to make assumptions, yet they have no idea. The friend is a little more socially savy.

This was no punishment. She kept hackin' at me and asking if I really dated more than one women, they always do. They remember me from my AFC days, some 10 years ago. I always tell them I date different people. No big deal. You see, when you are not hitting on them, they either think you have a girlfriend or something. I told her I date different people and showed her a few pix. Right away she tried to judge, and we joked about it. I am very sarcastic and laid back in these type of situations.

Don't confuse my indiference with insecurity. It's not just the words or actions, it is the context, and where are you coming from that determines if you are being real. Thank you very much for allowing me to qualify myself to you, though :yes:

 

[STR8UP]

The same can be said about everybody, men and women. Everyone seeks protection, comfort, and security. But for some, that alone isn't enough. And that's when "materialistic" enters the picture.

I agree.

I know full well I can take care of myself, but I'm not going to be so self righteous as to claim that if I were seeing two women that both brought positive qualities to my life and one of them had a $10mil trust fund, that I would lean toward the one without money. AND I'M A MAN! For a woman, financial security holds more weight. Enough to tip the scales in the favor of the wealthier man WITHOUT all else being equal, in some circumstances.

 

[STR8UP]

I sure would.

You can't fault a woman for something that is ingrained in her subconscious by so many years of evolution.

It's a simple fact- the wealthy guy WILL attract more women as long as he isn't a total douche, and although some of them might be rightfully labeled as "golddiggers", many women who would choose a wealthy man are simply seeking the best way to carry their genes into future generations. Nothing wrong with that.

 

[Vulpine]

I agree with this very much.(except the foreskin part, I would not bring that into conversation with a stranger) *snip*

Ok... tell me, what is the title of this thread?

Is it:

A. The definition of a "quality woman"?

or

B. A woman's idea of a "quality man"?


Right, the answer is A. Your post isn't relevant.

First post, huh? Why, exactly, are you here? Is it to learn "the secrets of meeting, dating, and attracting women"? Do you want to become better at seducing women? Do you want to learn to be a better man?

NO?

Then you are here for entertainment. If you want entertainment, go to Yahoo! games or screw around on youtube because trolling is for sociopaths.

 

[STR8UP]

It's not about how good is job is...it's about him having purpose and passion for what it is he is doing.

Believe it or not, I agree.

If he hasn't lost my interest by then...next I look at how he treats me, how he treats himself, what his values are, whether or not he has passion and purpose, if he's in debt...

Although I can't blame you for viewing things in this way, I must correct you.

TRUE financial security is NOT about being debt free, or having very little debt. It is about debt management.

I am in debt well in excess of seven figures. But it is backed by assets. That's what makes all the difference in the world.

There is a saying in the wealth building community that goes "A million in debt, a million in net".

This reminds me of some womens profiles on dating sites that state that they "require" someone to have at least a bachelor's degree to "qualify" to date them. Ignorant b!tches like that make me wanna whip out my d!ck and hit 'em over the head with it a few times.

In my 41 years I have heard less than 10 women bring up money as an important factor in deciding whether or not to get involved with a guy.

I wonder why? Maybe because they don't want to be STIGMATIZED as a gold digging ho? Hmmm....

 

[STR8UP]

And a man must judge whether a WOMAN is stable, secure, and a worthwhile catch.

I agree. Nothing worse than a financially unsophisticated or financially uneducated woman who has her hands on your checkbook. In my world, a woman must at least display the ability to handle money responsibly, and must be willing to learn how to create wealth, otherwise there is ZERO marriage potential.

BOTH parties have to contribute EVENLY to financial expenses.

Not true.

If one of the parties has talent for making money and building wealth it doesn't mean the other person must compete.

You think Trump, Gates, or Branson require their women to be entreprenueurial gurus? Of course not. They require them to bring OTHER things to the table.

 

[STR8UP]

A gold digger is a woman that seeks men with money for the sole purpose to be taken care off and to do NO work and have the man pay for ALL her crap and travel and gifts and dine.

Yea, most people have a very warped idea of what a gold digger is. They think that ANYONE who takes money into consideration should be lumped into that category.

I have met a lot of women in my life. The vast majority of them would be the type of women who would consider financial status when choosing a mate, to some degree at least. Don't know if I've ever met a true gold digger. Like you said, Latinoman, a gold digger is the kind of girl who wants a free ride through life. Not that many true gold diggers out there.

 

[bigjohnson]

Part of what makes a man masculine, is the ability to keep his loved ones out of harm's way. Being able to provide health insurance, a decent retirement, a house in a safe area keeps a family out of harm. So, yeah, I do have a hardline minimum income level when it comes to men for serrious things. As do most realistic, sensible women. That does not make us golddiggers. A golddigger is a woman who foregoes other qualities just to get with a rich man.

While partly off topic, that is still one of the few useful things I've ever seen contributed here by a woman. So I'm not sure whether to praise you or spank you ....

Yea, most people have a very warped idea of what a gold digger is. They think that ANYONE who takes money into consideration should be lumped into that category.

I have met a lot of women in my life. The vast majority of them would be the type of women who would consider financial status when choosing a mate, to some degree at least. Don't know if I've ever met a true gold digger. Like you said, Latinoman, a gold digger is the kind of girl who wants a free ride through life. Not that many true gold diggers out there.

I have to agree with all that. It''s completely normal and not at all bad for women to be concerned about a mans ability to provide. That's just basic biology and pragmatism at work and if anything it's a GOOD thing. When women say "Oh, I don't care at all about money" I have to figure she's either a liar or has some serious delusions about reality.

 

[Wyldfire]

Latinoman...are you going to continue to behave like a douchebag all day long? You're following me from thread to thread posting this sh*t. You twist things so they don't even resemble the truth...and for what? Because you disagree with something I posted and can't come up with a valid debate for what I said. That's WEAK, man. If you can't counter a point someone else makes then you should agree to disagree and call it a day. Making personal attacks when you can't effectively argue a point is nothing but a diversion tactic and I suspect most people reading this can see right through it. Grow up.

 

[Wyldfire]

Believe it or not, I agree.



Although I can't blame you for viewing things in this way, I must correct you.

TRUE financial security is NOT about being debt free, or having very little debt. It is about debt management.

I am in debt well in excess of seven figures. But it is backed by assets. That's what makes all the difference in the world.

There is a saying in the wealth building community that goes "A million in debt, a million in net".

This reminds me of some womens profiles on dating sites that state that they "require" someone to have at least a bachelor's degree to "qualify" to date them. Ignorant b!tches like that make me wanna whip out my d!ck and hit 'em over the head with it a few times.



I wonder why? Maybe because they don't want to be STIGMATIZED as a gold digging ho? Hmmm....

Why is debt important to me? Simple. I live by the philosophy that if I don't have the cash to buy it...I don't need it. Credit is fine for a home and a vehicle...but beyond that it is stupid to buy things you don't have the money to pay for right in your hand. I don't believe in attempting to live beyond my means...and would not want the stress that comes along with that.