Augustus_McCrae
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 3, 2012
- Messages
- 912
- Reaction score
- 1,010
I grew up in the 60’s and 70’s. It was truly a different world back then. Almost none of the families on my street were divorced. My parents never divorced. I was able to “go home” in my 30’s and 40’s to see my Mom and Dad living together in the Family house. We would sit around the dinner table, laughing and joking, both of my parents sharing their memories of the 3 children they raised.
Like most people my age (I’m 57 now), I got married. We even waited 7 years before having children of our own. I was 32 when my first child was born. My second, when I was 35. I can honestly say she was a pretty good Mother and a decent wife when the children were little. But in retrospect, I can see the early signs of problems with my ex, but I was too naïve, and to some degree, full of pride and hubris to recognize it at the time. I thought I could handle anything and also thought I could help “fix” her. Moreover, I was taught and raised to believe that a man handled things, he did whatever was necessary to keep the family together, to take care of his children.
As time went by, my ex got worse and worse. If we didn’t have children together, I would have divorced her. But, in good conscience, I could not let my children be exposed to whatever emotional abusive their Mother might inflict on them if I wasn’t around. Her passive aggressive, bi polar behavior (which didn’t truly manifest itself until later in the marriage) is difficult for an adult to deal with, let alone a child. And for My own reasons, I absolutely could not accept the thought of some other man (step dad, whatever…) being around my children at a young age.
We eventually separated and divorced (she filed the papers) after my youngest went to college. I’ve detailed that story in another post here. And I’ve discussed the financial cost and continuing burden the divorce and alimony have incurred. But that is just one of the costs associated with divorce when children (a family) are involved.
The other side of the coin is the gut wrenching emotional cost to your children and yourself:
They no longer have the security of being able to return to the Family home. And make no mistake, it’s incredibly important to have that even when you are older. My children have been forever robbed of that.
I and my children will never again know the joy and comfort of the Family sitting around the dining room table, discussing our lives and interests, all four of us together.
There are milestone events and little every day memories that only me and my ex have from when the girls were little. One of the great joys of parenting is sharing those memories together with your spouse. That has been stolen from me. There is only one other person who has those common memories and experiences, but we no longer speak to each other.
I sometimes have dreams of the Happy Family life when the girls were little and the Family was still together. Then I wake up and remember that it was just a dream.
There is a tremendous sense of loss, sometimes even a physical ache that comes over you when you think about all of the above. So, you push it out of your mind and move forward, doing your best to enjoy the rest of your life. But this isn’t what you planned on. It is not the life you envisioned for yourself and your children.
This, gentlemen, is the real cost of divorce.
Yes, I am so glad I have children. I love my daughters so much and I’m so incredibly blessed to have them in my life. But this is not what I wanted nor expected when I got married and started a Family.
And from my perspective, knowing what I know now, I believe that knowledge of the red pill can help prevent divorce. Knowing more about women’s true nature, waiting until you are older to marry, being better able to judge if a women is long term relationship and Mother material could definitely help prevent the tragic breakup of a family.
I was fully capable of and wanted to be married for the rest of my life. I just chose the wrong woman.
Rollo believes that knowledge of the Red Pill and game can save lives.
It can also help prevent the tragedy of divorce.
-Augustus-
Like most people my age (I’m 57 now), I got married. We even waited 7 years before having children of our own. I was 32 when my first child was born. My second, when I was 35. I can honestly say she was a pretty good Mother and a decent wife when the children were little. But in retrospect, I can see the early signs of problems with my ex, but I was too naïve, and to some degree, full of pride and hubris to recognize it at the time. I thought I could handle anything and also thought I could help “fix” her. Moreover, I was taught and raised to believe that a man handled things, he did whatever was necessary to keep the family together, to take care of his children.
As time went by, my ex got worse and worse. If we didn’t have children together, I would have divorced her. But, in good conscience, I could not let my children be exposed to whatever emotional abusive their Mother might inflict on them if I wasn’t around. Her passive aggressive, bi polar behavior (which didn’t truly manifest itself until later in the marriage) is difficult for an adult to deal with, let alone a child. And for My own reasons, I absolutely could not accept the thought of some other man (step dad, whatever…) being around my children at a young age.
We eventually separated and divorced (she filed the papers) after my youngest went to college. I’ve detailed that story in another post here. And I’ve discussed the financial cost and continuing burden the divorce and alimony have incurred. But that is just one of the costs associated with divorce when children (a family) are involved.
The other side of the coin is the gut wrenching emotional cost to your children and yourself:
They no longer have the security of being able to return to the Family home. And make no mistake, it’s incredibly important to have that even when you are older. My children have been forever robbed of that.
I and my children will never again know the joy and comfort of the Family sitting around the dining room table, discussing our lives and interests, all four of us together.
There are milestone events and little every day memories that only me and my ex have from when the girls were little. One of the great joys of parenting is sharing those memories together with your spouse. That has been stolen from me. There is only one other person who has those common memories and experiences, but we no longer speak to each other.
I sometimes have dreams of the Happy Family life when the girls were little and the Family was still together. Then I wake up and remember that it was just a dream.
There is a tremendous sense of loss, sometimes even a physical ache that comes over you when you think about all of the above. So, you push it out of your mind and move forward, doing your best to enjoy the rest of your life. But this isn’t what you planned on. It is not the life you envisioned for yourself and your children.
This, gentlemen, is the real cost of divorce.
Yes, I am so glad I have children. I love my daughters so much and I’m so incredibly blessed to have them in my life. But this is not what I wanted nor expected when I got married and started a Family.
And from my perspective, knowing what I know now, I believe that knowledge of the red pill can help prevent divorce. Knowing more about women’s true nature, waiting until you are older to marry, being better able to judge if a women is long term relationship and Mother material could definitely help prevent the tragic breakup of a family.
I was fully capable of and wanted to be married for the rest of my life. I just chose the wrong woman.
Rollo believes that knowledge of the Red Pill and game can save lives.
It can also help prevent the tragedy of divorce.
-Augustus-
