The dating game is pretty much a game of luck

JPlaya

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I see too many AFCs get girls and even yall on here have to next a bunch of girls to find one
 

st_99

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well, there is definitely luck involved BUT, over time i think an afc will have a hard time in the 'relationship' he found himself in. So be thankful that lack of success brought you here, perhaps long term, you'll be the lucky one.

I was at a party the other day and saw some dude i havn't seen a while. Really nice guy, afc type, just average looking (dresses well though), balding. The type of guy that just wants to be in a relationship. He just got married and his wife is smoking hot, nice body, nice azz, quiet type that did not need to be known or whatever, stood by his side basically and just looked pretty. Looked like the kind of girl you need to weed through like 100 horible girls before you find her. Well this dude was basically in like 1 relationship before this, doesn't really date or anything. Met her at his previous job.

I'm like damn, how the f*ck did he?!??!

So, I don't know, maybe he's a total pimp and I just dont know. :D
 

Mike32ct

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You have to be in the right place at the right time. From that perspective, yes, luck matters.

This is why you sometimes see so so looking dudes with cute girlfriends. It's generally NOT because he has great game, humor, or he's some mythical "alpha" that we worship on here. Probably 85 percent of his success is because he was a member of the right social circle at the right time.

She was single at the time, he wasn't hideous looking, she got to know him, and her 10 percent dream guy wasn't available. So she got drunk one night and hooked up with this social circle guy. Then he became a FWB out of convenience. Then she got attached and promoted him to boyfriend.

It wasn't because of some pickup DVD series he ordered or hours of game practice at the club lol.
 

st_99

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Mike32ct said:
She was single at the time, he wasn't hideous looking, she got to know him, and her 10 percent dream guy wasn't available. So she got drunk one night and hooked up with this social circle guy. Then he became a FWB out of convenience. Then she got attached and promoted him to boyfriend.

lol, this is all pretty acurate. its funny because its so damn true.
 

Iceberg

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Mike32ct said:
You have to be in the right place at the right time. From that perspective, yes, luck matters.

This is why you sometimes see so so looking dudes with cute girlfriends. It's generally NOT because he has great game, humor, or he's some mythical "alpha" that we worship on here. Probably 85 percent of his success is because he was a member of the right social circle at the right time.

She was single at the time, he wasn't hideous looking, she got to know him, and her 10 percent dream guy wasn't available. So she got drunk one night and hooked up with this social circle guy. Then he became a FWB out of convenience. Then she got attached and promoted him to boyfriend.

It wasn't because of some pickup DVD series he ordered or hours of game practice at the club lol.
More or less. That just about sums it up.

Finding the RIGHT girl is luck. Keeping yourself in the game with a steady supply of women, is confidence, personal development, and game. I have a couple friends with nice girlfriends. The girls are not hotties, but better looking than my male friends who are dating them. And that's all well and good...but before stumbling upon those girlfriends, they might go years without getting laid.

So, when you meet these guys, you'd say "How come they can get a steady girlfriend and I can't?" But what you don't realize is, these guys with no game or charisma went YEARS without women before finding a girl at the right place, the right time, and in the right mindset to make an aggressive move on my shy, non-aggressive male friends.
 

pyros

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I agree.

I got to understand that looks are important, game is important...BUT your social circle is the most important factor!
Because you may have game but if you do not have the chance to meet women on a regular basis, you have nothing. You may be good looking, smart, have good guy friends, BUT if your social circle lacks women your ****ed.

Statistically speaking, around 80% of couples meet because of their common social circle. Around 10% meet in clubs, and around 10% meet any other place by chance.
So, your social circle is damn important.

As you said, I've met guys that had a good looking, nice girlfriend because she was friend of a friend of his, or because they were friends at the uni attending the same lectures.

I met my ex by chance, at the Opera. My God! I could have never imagined that. She was very good looking, smart, nice etc
BUT it was the right place, right time.

Now I'm working on improving and expanding my social circle, cause I basically just have male friends, that also just have more male friends. Crazy.
The thing is, they do not realice this, but I do.

The only way they conceive to meet a girl is in a club. And as I said, just less than 10% of couples meet there.
 

vagrant

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I have a lot of girl FRIENDS but I don't mess around with them because it'll ruin the friendship and my whole social circle will know, that's the biggest problem I have. Any advice?
 

youngmack

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vagrant said:
I have a lot of girl FRIENDS but I don't mess around with them because it'll ruin the friendship and my whole social circle will know, that's the biggest problem I have. Any advice?

Ask the girls to sit on your face
 

nismo-4

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For most men who don't have women throwing themselves at them, of course it all boils down to luck.

Getting a date: Will she flake?

Getting laid: Will she follow through?

Seeming interested: Is she really?

Being rich, famous, and good looking roughly eliminates this whole "luck" thing, as you'll never be short of women. Like Mike32ct said, a 10% dream guy. The majority are taken.

Overall, it's all about how women perceive you. Being they do most of the selecting with whether to put out, flake, etc.
 

Zerro

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Thrill Seeker said:
Luck favors the prepared, playa
Exactly. The stuff taught and discussed here just improves your chances but no amount of game can raise it to 100%, luck will always be a factor. Having good game just means that you're less likely to screw up as often when the opportunity presents itself.
 

PapiChulo

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I am honestly surprised how some AFCs are able to keep their hotties-wives away from being swept by the dream guy. How do they do it? Is it all about attachment? Perhaps, they are simply after the right kind of woman, arent they? I think thats the key here. They are simply getting with women who are like them, plus hot.
 

zekko

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PapiChulo said:
I am honestly surprised how some AFCs are able to keep their hotties-wives away from being swept by the dream guy. How do they do it?
For one thing, the "dream guy" is a lot rarer than you might think. And also picking the right girl.

But you hear a lot of stories where the wife changes her environment, gets a new job, joins a new bowling league or something. And all of a sudden she meets a new guy who pushes all her buttons, and wham, she's ready to move on. It happens.
 

Packers2010

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Mike32ct said:
You have to be in the right place at the right time. From that perspective, yes, luck matters.

This is why you sometimes see so so looking dudes with cute girlfriends. It's generally NOT because he has great game, humor, or he's some mythical "alpha" that we worship on here. Probably 85 percent of his success is because he was a member of the right social circle at the right time.

She was single at the time, he wasn't hideous looking, she got to know him, and her 10 percent dream guy wasn't available. So she got drunk one night and hooked up with this social circle guy. Then he became a FWB out of convenience. Then she got attached and promoted him to boyfriend.
i can account for this. my oneitis girl did this to me. though she never promoted me to bf like i wanted. though, i know i wouldn't have been able to keep her long.
 

SgtSplacker

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Hmm... me thinks a little less luck and more probability. Luck is totally random but probability can be affected by factors like dress, presence, etc...
 

Iceberg

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PapiChulo said:
I am honestly surprised how some AFCs are able to keep their hotties-wives away from being swept by the dream guy. How do they do it? Is it all about attachment? Perhaps, they are simply after the right kind of woman, arent they? I think thats the key here. They are simply getting with women who are like them, plus hot.
For the purposes of the message board, I think we're taught that only a certain type of guy can keep a woman. The real world is much more complex than "AFC" "Alpha" "PUA" etc, etc.

Just because a guy isn't our definition of "DJ" doesn't necessarily mean that his wife is going to bang the high school basketball team behind his back.
 

loveshogun

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Am I the only one who saw this thread and thought, "oh boy. What's JPlaya gonna complain about today?"

The guy's mind is made up. Put him back on the grill, cause he ain't finished yet. I think we can all continue this conversation when he comes back and says "I want to better myself."

Cause right now, the only thing he's saying is "There's no point."
 

MisterD

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sometimes you can make your own luck, but agreed, you have to admit that there is a certain level of luck involved

just like in sports, out of all the teams in the league, one wins the championship, often it's not even the team that was the best all year, but one that got hot at the right time, and certain things had to fall their way for them to win it all

i remembered one semester in school, i had to take bio, because i needed a science credit, but i was kind of excited, because it's a requirement for all nursing majors. so i was going into it thinking i would have a pretty nice girl:guy ratio going...two chicks in the whole class, and neither were attractive

conversely, a friend of mind who seems to just find women falling out of the sky had to take some class that's 9 times out of 10 a sausagefest, was one of the few guys in the class, the majority was good looking females

it's not that he had better game, it's just the circumstances were such that he was put in a better situation to succeed

it was beyond either of our control. stuff like that happens. you just have to deal with it and reap the rewards when the luck swings in your favor

i believe in balance. an unlucky streak is met with a lucky one, not a more unlucky one.

you read it on here all the time. guys go cold for a few weeks or months and then suddenly bang 4 new chicks within a 2 week period. their game didnt change. their luck did
 

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pyros said:
I agree.

I got to understand that looks are important, game is important...BUT your social circle is the most important factor!
Because you may have game but if you do not have the chance to meet women on a regular basis, you have nothing. You may be good looking, smart, have good guy friends, BUT if your social circle lacks women your ****ed.
Same thing about women could be said about anything you want in life: Job, house, car, career.

If you know the right person for a job, sending out 500 resumes won't matter
If you know the right person to buy a house, making 500 offers won't matter
If you know the right person for game 7 tickets, all the money in the world won't matter.
If you know the right person to meet a girl, 500 hours of DVD instruction won't matter.

Knowing the right people will get into more doors than any book, pick up line, advice, sosuave instruction ever will.
 
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