ChristopherColumbus
Master Don Juan
I take it that many men come here after learning the harsh and painful truths of a history of pandering to women. We put women at the center, and spent our lives revolving around them like a planet around the sun. We put women on a pedestal, and suffered the consequences.
Yet, it is our propensity to be overly logical and analytical, and we then fall susceptible to binary opposites. The pendulum swings, and we react; where once woman controlled everything, now the 'frame' is to be set completely by us. In this Copernican Revolution, the woman is to revolve around us. If she fails to comply and submit to that frame, we dismiss her to outer regions.
Perhaps this a necessary corrective for the bewildered [and perhaps traumatized] man first emerging to light after a long captivity, but it can hardly be a set of doctrines on which he is to base his future dating life on.
I think there is a third way, a more mature, balanced and flexible one, where the man does indeed set the frame and lead, but also adapts his manner and policy to the particular woman he happens to be dating at the time. In Game this is called 'calibration', but I think this has only very lightly been touched on. I also think when the emphasis is put on LEADING then Game becomes more like a Dance, a dialectic between two people. Just as ten different men will have ten different ways, or styles, of courting a woman, so too then different woman will have ten different ways of responding to that courtship.
The problem with taking an overly rigid frame from the outset is you will have to approach a lot of woman before you find a few willing to submit outright to it. They may just be the so-called low-hanging fruit. The more quality women, who may have been intrigued yet required a little patience and effort [flexibility], could have been rejected way too soon simply on some dogmatic preconception of how things should proceed.
So courting a woman becomes a more dialectic process. We do not denigrate ourselves to her whims, nor do we dogmatically state from the start how the interaction will play out. We will let it play. The great thing about a dance is both parties get swept up in it. Any romantics still out there?
No doubt this approach will appeal to some, and not to others. The approach you develop will no doubt depends your stances and circumstances. The main point here is there is no one cookie-cutter approach for all.
Yet, it is our propensity to be overly logical and analytical, and we then fall susceptible to binary opposites. The pendulum swings, and we react; where once woman controlled everything, now the 'frame' is to be set completely by us. In this Copernican Revolution, the woman is to revolve around us. If she fails to comply and submit to that frame, we dismiss her to outer regions.
Perhaps this a necessary corrective for the bewildered [and perhaps traumatized] man first emerging to light after a long captivity, but it can hardly be a set of doctrines on which he is to base his future dating life on.
I think there is a third way, a more mature, balanced and flexible one, where the man does indeed set the frame and lead, but also adapts his manner and policy to the particular woman he happens to be dating at the time. In Game this is called 'calibration', but I think this has only very lightly been touched on. I also think when the emphasis is put on LEADING then Game becomes more like a Dance, a dialectic between two people. Just as ten different men will have ten different ways, or styles, of courting a woman, so too then different woman will have ten different ways of responding to that courtship.
The problem with taking an overly rigid frame from the outset is you will have to approach a lot of woman before you find a few willing to submit outright to it. They may just be the so-called low-hanging fruit. The more quality women, who may have been intrigued yet required a little patience and effort [flexibility], could have been rejected way too soon simply on some dogmatic preconception of how things should proceed.
So courting a woman becomes a more dialectic process. We do not denigrate ourselves to her whims, nor do we dogmatically state from the start how the interaction will play out. We will let it play. The great thing about a dance is both parties get swept up in it. Any romantics still out there?
No doubt this approach will appeal to some, and not to others. The approach you develop will no doubt depends your stances and circumstances. The main point here is there is no one cookie-cutter approach for all.
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