The dark side of being a playa'

[crowolf]

Now that you are intrigued by the title, let's talk about something you most likely won't like to hear.

Consider this: you live your life as the cool guy you are. And somewhere you meet a cute girl. You dig' her and wouldn't mind to add "1 to your belt".

She isn't full of red flags, and in fact she is LTR "material". But you are not about that right now. You just wanna have fun.

So you somewhat mislead her to think that you are about to be serious, just so you can get what you want.

Then you got your silly pleasure. Congratulations! A real man, you feel so confident and alpha, a real pu55y slayer.

Now what are the consequences? The girl will realize what you are all about, and be deeply disappointed. And she can't reverse time back. Now she is +1 time used. You corrupted her. She will never have the same levels of purity, which makes her a valuable woman (considering she isn't silly hoe when you meet her).

Then the chances of this happening again to her might increase. And fast-forward 5 years later, this otherwise quality girl is now absorbed by the dark side. She is no longer pure. She is no longer a "wifey material".

Of course I might be exaggerating a bit, but I believe there is some truth to all that.

Men don't realize the damage they deal to society by acting like boys.

I'm not saying screw pickup, game, seduction, and not going after women. I'm saying be honest with your intentions, and don't mess the purity of women just for your silly pleasure.

If she's a red flag girl, maybe it's okay. I don't know. I've been thinking about this lately.

What is a bigger win - a high count but always being on the high/low while chasing silly pleasures, or having a really quality woman besides you, and living like a Man with purpose?

 

[Travel memoir21]

I can write a whole book on this subject.

But I will always view this forum as a Self Improvement forum where a Man should improve several important aspects of his life in order to land a Quality Mate.

 

[sevbucmash]

fast-forward 5 years later, this otherwise quality girl is now absorbed by the dark side

You gotta stop thinking of hot girls or nice girls or whatever, cute girls, as something special or pure and up there on the predestal.

Think of hot women as build bad guys, that can catch and bang any chick they want. It's similar, hot women can catch any guy they want and bang him. So you're not damaging the good in any way shape or form. Sex just happens, with or without you.

 

[BaronOfHair]

A real man, you feel so confident and alpha, a real pu55y slayer.

I'm sure that if any of us were eager to slay vampires, we'd transition, then rename ourselves "Buffy"

 

[plumber]

red pill vs blue pill. the war in our mind rages on and on.

to be clear the problem is other men. without other men around and only women, dealing with them would be easy as your always the best option.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

in fact she is LTR "material"

Not of she's banging dudes she's just met.

 

[BeExcellent]

This is the classic paradox right? If a girl gives up the sex too soon she's too easy, but if she won't give it up on principle/values/chastity etc., then she's a dud and a desirable guy will move on from her because he got no sex & will look elsewhere for sex.

In either scenario its lose/lose for the girl if a relationship is what she's after.

Unless she has so much value and self restraint that she will wait and the guy is also willing to wait. Very tough sell when sex is a commodity and men are full of testosterone.

This is a really tough thing for young women to navigate and let's be real its a serious double standard. Women who want a relationship have to be careful about allowing the sexual conquest, and how soon, and have to figure out a man's intention and whether or not to trust the guy. And if he leads her on, gets the sex & moves on using deceit? Yes it hurts the girl in many cases and she learns that being open & vulnerable and sexual with someone is emotionally harmful. Not good.

The three date rule is weird & arbitrary in my book, I have always thought the expectation of sex by date 3 is ridiculous, especially when a girl is likely going to be judged as easy if she gives in. Then I've heard men complain they don't feel desired if the woman doesn't want to jump his bones too very early on, its a lot to ask for a person to figure out motivations so early in an interaction, and people are both complicated and opaque about intent.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Now that you are intrigued by the title, let's talk about something you most likely won't like to hear.

The title reeled me in

Consider this: you live your life as the cool guy you are. And somewhere you meet a cute girl. You dig' her and wouldn't mind to add "1 to your belt".

Goals.

She isn't full of red flags, and in fact she is LTR "material". But you are not about that right now. You just wanna have fun.

Ambitions.

So you somewhat mislead her to think that you are about to be serious, just so you can get what you want.

That's what Mode One is all about...being bold, straightforward, and HONEST about your true desires and intentions.

If you have to mislead a woman to get some puss, then uzza SUCKA.

Then you got your silly pleasure. Congratulations! A real man, you feel so confident and alpha, a real pu55y slayer.

Dishonorable.

Now what are the consequences? The girl will realize what you are all about, and be deeply disappointed. And she can't reverse time back. Now she is +1 time used. You corrupted her. She will never have the same levels of purity, which makes her a valuable woman (considering she isn't silly hoe when you meet her).

Then the chances of this happening again to her might increase. And fast-forward 5 years later, this otherwise quality girl is now absorbed by the dark side. She is no longer pure. She is no longer a "wifey material".

Of course I might be exaggerating a bit, but I believe there is some truth to all that.

Men don't realize the damage they deal to society by acting like boys.

This is 100% accurate.

However, it works both ways.

Good men have become damaged by shady women, too...and have turned...cold, as a result.

Dating coach Stephiscold, once described how he used to be a beta male simp.

The girl he was in love with (and did everything for) screwed him over. This opened his eyes, and he became red pill and turned cold.

One of many examples.

I'm not saying screw pickup, game, seduction, and not going after women. I'm saying be honest with your intentions, and don't mess the purity of women just for your silly pleasure.

If she's a red flag girl, maybe it's okay. I don't know. I've been thinking about this lately.

What is a bigger win - a high count but always being on the high/low while chasing silly pleasures, or having a really quality woman besides you, and living like a Man with purpose?

The latter, no doubt.

Great post/insight.

 

[jhonny9546]

There are people who have taken the second path but eventually resented or regretted it because it did not turn out to be the quality they had hoped for.

Even when they do not exhibit red flags, something could happen that changes your plans.

The hard part is holding on to your ideas, values, and morals. When you see that others would like to abandon ship, you must be confident in letting it happen, even if you know you will be alone for a period of time. This is the hardest thing—let's face it.

 

[Barrister]

OP,

Your post is based upon the premise that men are ultimately responsible for women "going to the dark side" because we men are "acting like boys" because we are pumping and dumping otherwise innocent, good girls who wouldn't be for the streets if not for us. I have to say I am little surprised by how many so far are agreeing with your observation. I will push back and disagree. Our society has encouraged this sort of behavior out of women in a push for "empowerment" -- it has little to do with good girls being poisoned by bad men on the dating market. As men, we either have to adopt an equally cutthroat strategy in dealing with it (and of course be vilified by the same society that encourages this behavior for women), or simply allow women to abuse us in their "gatekeeper" role when it comes to dating by getting free drinks, food, etc. with little to no payoff. This is not our grandfather or even father's dating market anymore where you can just expect chivalry to be rewarded. There is no such thing as an "innocent" woman anymore who is past the age of 21 (you could argue even lower).

I am not necessarily saying that the entire thing maybe doesn't perpetuate a cycle of dating dysfunction through both sexes' actions. But I will strongly disagree the whole thing is happening because we men "are acting like boys." I think that is a significantly blue-pill and naive take and something I am frankly shocked to see others agreeing with here.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Good men have become damaged by shady women, too...and have turned...cold, as a result.

Good men also realized they are unattractive to women unless they have women. So unless they are destined to marry their first sex partners, then they’ll have to fornicate with one or more women to never be womanless. And nothing makes men angrier than lack of women (being serious).

 

[Bokanovsky]

Good men also realized they are unattractive to women unless they have women. So unless they are destined to marry their first sex partners, then they’ll have to fornicate with one or more women to never be womanless. And nothing makes men angrier than lack of women (being serious).

To add to this, society ridicules and denigrates men who lack sexual experience. Incel, virgin, loser...those are hardly terms of endearment. And the only way to escape the stigma and gain sexual experience is, in the words of the OP, "to act like boys".

Of course, women can very easily break this cycle by ignoring the smooth players and the bad boys and throwing themselves at virgins and incels. But that ain't gonna happen. Women would rather be used and abused than date socially undesirable men. Don't feel too sorry for someone who voluntarily chooses to be a victim.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Not sure how to answer this topic, but this is something I've been struggling with-the difficulty of breaking up or ghosting someone after they've invested so much effort and emotion into the relationship. I feel a strong sense of empathy and even sympathy for them, knowing how much they've put in. It feels similar to giving money to the less fortunate or turning away a stray animal that's desperate for care, where the imbalance of power makes it unsettling. There's something almost inhumane about watching someone beg for a relationship and go out of their way to do things for you.

I get the point you're making about misleading women and the long-term effects of that. But I think the real issue isn't just deception - it's the emotional dependency that some people develop. When someone invests in you thinking there's a future, it's not just about purity or being "used"—it's about how rejection can break them in a way that makes them more vulnerable to unhealthy relationships later on. That's why honesty is important, not just for their sake but for your own integrity.

Mind you, I have managed expectations by clearly stating that I don't want anything complicated or with strings attached, and yet they still become emotionally codependent somehow. It's like even when you lay everything out, some people convince themselves there's more to it, and that's when things get messy.

 

[BaronOfHair]

red pill vs blue pill. the war in our mind rages on and on

Yep: We continue to pretend that life can be simplified down to such dichtomies: Be it "Good" and "Evil", or "Red Pill" and "Blue Pill". And that anything and everything labeled "Red Pill" is the incontrovertible Word Of God

 

[Dr.Suave]

Its our job to get laid. It should be the women´s job to screen out xyz types of men but most women are not very good at this.

 

[jhonny9546]

the difficulty of breaking up or ghosting someone after they've invested so much effort and emotion into the relationship

sunk cost fallacy. It's a big reason to keep extend some relationship lifecycle
And when you are afraid of that, you see people start making kids, after kids, getting marriage, going to travel, getting a house, getting the car, buying that etc etc..

There are genuine LTR that do that because they're truly happy, but also other ones do it because of the fallacy.

They need to fill the void with the fallacy itself

 

[justaroundthecorner]

Downside of being player in your social circle:
- the woman you really want to get shot at will be warned about you by her female friends and male orbiters
- it may affect your overall reputation in negative manner and close you some doors
- some guys will envy you and nothing good will come from that
- you may get shrapnelled from effects of your conquests in some nasty manner (white knight former or later boyfriend will come after you to seek revenge for tarnished honour of his woman - which make no sense but his fists will not care about it)
- ...unless you will go covert-bad boy (sleezy phucker) but all in all it will affect your psyche and life in negative manner

Females are much better in Dark Triad play when it comes to sex - such females use their SMV like we use money - if there is interesting prospect (In any sense of word 'interesting' to them, so do not get too wet) they will use their SMV to use you how they want to use you.

Few years ago I was dating a stewardess (she was around 34 but still HB 8 objectively - I have seen her photos when she was around her 20's - she was 10/10 back then).

After a while I have noticed that she was seeing me (and having sex with me) just to create fear of losing her for good in her LTR alpha partner (she has never considered me a replacement, therefore I will not call it dating as time spent with me in her bookkeeping was still used to keep her alpha boyfriend *****whipped and in line as she liked). What was funny, she also from time to time seemed to maintain relationship with her beta friend from high school years in exchange for favours and a lot of interest he gave her via SMS/chat when she had fights with her alpha boyfriend (which was certified martial arts specialist), most probably allowed him to have some petting session with her several years ago and boom the boy obeys for years. Good boy stays.

Anyway, that woman was learning how to manipulate men when I was learning how to play Diablo II and smarts not necessarily beats experience in initial contact.

So women generally get a premium start position when it comes to playing men. We also live in times where slut-shaming was put on its head (man that strays will get roasted while female leaving her man may blame it on many other things except the new c0ck in her life. Nevertheless, with betaization of men and gen Z "lost generation" when it comes to masculinity, going Dark Triad in dating for females will get even easier than before.

 

[jhonny9546]

After a while I have noticed that she was seeing me (and having sex with me) just to create fear of losing her for good in her LTR alpha partner (she has never considered me a replacement, therefore I will not call it dating as time spent with me in her bookkeeping was still used to keep her alpha boyfriend *****whipped and in line as she liked). What was funny, she also from time to time seemed to maintain relationship with her beta friend from high school years in exchange for favours and a lot of interest he gave her via SMS/chat when she had fights with her alpha boyfriend (which was certified martial arts specialist), most probably allowed him to have some petting session with her several years ago and boom the boy obeys for years. Good boy stays.

Totally legit, but this particular woman is damaged.
What does she want to prove to her man, and what does she want to prove to herself by behaving this way?

she has never considered me a replacement

How did you knew?

 

[New_Journey]

Now what are the consequences? The girl will realize what you are all about, and be deeply disappointed. And she can't reverse time back. Now she is +1 time used. You corrupted her. She will never have the same levels of purity, which makes her a valuable woman (considering she isn't silly hoe when you meet her).

Then the chances of this happening again to her might increase. And fast-forward 5 years later, this otherwise quality girl is now absorbed by the dark side. She is no longer pure. She is no longer a "wifey material".

Of course I might be exaggerating a bit, but I believe there is some truth to all that.

Men don't realize the damage they deal to society by acting like boys.

In war and love all is fair. Been there done that and have had it done to me. So, who takes care of my feelings? Do I go to her and whine why she took me for granted? Or do I learn from it and become better? Do you know the answer?

The power with women is the one who cares less.

Not my problem man, the same way men shouldn't be acting stupid by falling in love with the wrong woman, women should vet guys who want things seriously; show we be honest? Yes, but in reality, women don't value honesty and will never appreciate it.

Should I be better and honest with them? I could, but then after she figures you out, its game over.

Hard pill to swallow, but there is no other way.

 

[Clockwerk50]

- some guys will envy you and nothing good will come from that
- you may get shrapnelled from effects of your conquests in some nasty manner (white knight former or later boyfriend will come after you to seek revenge for tarnished honour of his woman - which make no sense but his fists will not care about it)

I agree. Players provoke envy, not just from boyfriends seeking revenge, but from insecure men who resent their success with women. These men are jealous because they lack the same confidence, freedom, and ability to attract women, so they mask their attacks as moral outrage.

Downside of being player in your social circle:
- the woman you really want to get shot at will be warned about you by her female friends and male orbiters
- it may affect your overall reputation in negative manner and close you some doors

I disagree. Women often prefer the attention of a known player over being ignored because he offers excitement, desire, and a break from routine. Even if his reputation is questionable, his ability to create intense, pleasurable moments makes him more appealing than the dull security of a conventional relationship. Better to be pursued and abandoned than to be invisible to him since his attention often validates a woman desirability and offers a thrilling escape from the ordinary, even if it is fleeting.