Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
I was recently talking with a freind about the absoulte psychotic mess the girl I used to date before I met my wife was, and I got to recalling some of the more annoying aspects of that miserable relationship.
One of the most aggrivating things I found myself wrapped up in was her obsession over this little Westhighland Terrier she had. I hated that fvcking animal; and I don't mean your garden variety hate, but the how Satan hates God kind of hate.
This is a Westie
Even after being married for almost 10 years and having put this mess well behind me, I still get a violent twitch in my eye whenever I see someone walking a dog like this. In fact, just doing the Google search to hunt this picture up made me want to throw my 23" LCD monitor across the room.
Now you're probably wondering why I have such undying contempt for this otherwise innocent and cute little breed of dog. It's not that I dislike Westies per se, but it was this insane, psychotic devotion to this pet that she would lavish on it in preference to paying attention to me or even her friends at times.
It was at this point that I did a bit of research to see if this phenomenon had a psychological parallel and interestingly enough it does. I got to thinking about all of the people I knew who gratuitiously and in excess spent inordinate amounts of time and money on the wellbeing of their pets. These were universally women - I can't think of one, unattached man I know who even has a dog, much less gets up early to drop it off at 'doggie daycare' on his way to work and picks it up on his way home. Neither do I know a man who would spend the kind of money 'gourmet dog biscuits' command from a store dedicated to nothing else, nor a guy who would buy 'Frosty Paws' dog ice cream treats, but I do know women who will. I know women who will spend $1500 for their "little precious'" to spend a day at the doggie spa. I know women who will pamper and coddle thier pet even after it sh!ts diarrea on the living room carpet and in the same breath berate their husbands for leaving the toilet seat up.
However it's not just the degree to which some women will go in their devotion to their pets, it's the indifference they display toward the human beings of importance in their lives, in preference to their pets, that crosses the line. There is a current field of study in this psychological transference of emotion to pets. Nothing terribly conclusive has been set in stone of course, but the theory goes something like this; People (mainly female) having a tendency to dote exhorbitantly over thier pets also tend to eschew meaningful interactions with significant people in their lives. It goes on to say that the pet becomes a 'self-proving' device that enables the individual to internalize that they are capable of loving while minimizing their reciprocation to another human being.
In otherwords when she sits there with little Fluffy and dotes over him rather than engaging you in even limited communication or affection it may be indicative of a more complex problem - a definite red flag to be sure. Of the examples of women's behavior I used in this essay, all of them were in some unsatisfying relationship that they were uncomfortable discussing yet would do nothing about. However, when prompted with conversation about thier pets they were very talkative.
So what does this mean to the DJ then? Beware. Part of an accomodating AFC nature is a disingenuous desire to identify with a woman in order to barter his identity for her intimacy. Nothing will bring a guy down faster than allowing this pet devotion dynamic to become a part of this identification.
One of the most aggrivating things I found myself wrapped up in was her obsession over this little Westhighland Terrier she had. I hated that fvcking animal; and I don't mean your garden variety hate, but the how Satan hates God kind of hate.
This is a Westie
Even after being married for almost 10 years and having put this mess well behind me, I still get a violent twitch in my eye whenever I see someone walking a dog like this. In fact, just doing the Google search to hunt this picture up made me want to throw my 23" LCD monitor across the room.
Now you're probably wondering why I have such undying contempt for this otherwise innocent and cute little breed of dog. It's not that I dislike Westies per se, but it was this insane, psychotic devotion to this pet that she would lavish on it in preference to paying attention to me or even her friends at times.
It was at this point that I did a bit of research to see if this phenomenon had a psychological parallel and interestingly enough it does. I got to thinking about all of the people I knew who gratuitiously and in excess spent inordinate amounts of time and money on the wellbeing of their pets. These were universally women - I can't think of one, unattached man I know who even has a dog, much less gets up early to drop it off at 'doggie daycare' on his way to work and picks it up on his way home. Neither do I know a man who would spend the kind of money 'gourmet dog biscuits' command from a store dedicated to nothing else, nor a guy who would buy 'Frosty Paws' dog ice cream treats, but I do know women who will. I know women who will spend $1500 for their "little precious'" to spend a day at the doggie spa. I know women who will pamper and coddle thier pet even after it sh!ts diarrea on the living room carpet and in the same breath berate their husbands for leaving the toilet seat up.
However it's not just the degree to which some women will go in their devotion to their pets, it's the indifference they display toward the human beings of importance in their lives, in preference to their pets, that crosses the line. There is a current field of study in this psychological transference of emotion to pets. Nothing terribly conclusive has been set in stone of course, but the theory goes something like this; People (mainly female) having a tendency to dote exhorbitantly over thier pets also tend to eschew meaningful interactions with significant people in their lives. It goes on to say that the pet becomes a 'self-proving' device that enables the individual to internalize that they are capable of loving while minimizing their reciprocation to another human being.
In otherwords when she sits there with little Fluffy and dotes over him rather than engaging you in even limited communication or affection it may be indicative of a more complex problem - a definite red flag to be sure. Of the examples of women's behavior I used in this essay, all of them were in some unsatisfying relationship that they were uncomfortable discussing yet would do nothing about. However, when prompted with conversation about thier pets they were very talkative.
So what does this mean to the DJ then? Beware. Part of an accomodating AFC nature is a disingenuous desire to identify with a woman in order to barter his identity for her intimacy. Nothing will bring a guy down faster than allowing this pet devotion dynamic to become a part of this identification.
