The Creepy Loner

[oneshot]

I hang around alone every lunch. Walking around. Sipping a drink. I might go work out in the gym and then come back down. Just routine.
Physically, I am pretty strong compared to the rest of the guys. I have bad skin and an acne problem thats getting better (but leaving scars).
Now- my brain. I have the best grades in all of ninth grade, I have good athletic abilities and pistol marksmanship, musical and artistic skills thats earned me three Fine Arts Awards in a row, etc etc etc. I actually DO have a sense of humor (just watch them laugh for fifteen minutes in one of my project presentations)

So why...I ask why??am I always the loner? The weird dude?
Today, I had this talk with a female friend of mine I've known for ten years and we both agreed that yes, I have the reputation of being weird and alone. I know people who are way smarter than me so don't gimme crap blaming it on me being nerdy or whatever.

Now I'm diggin this extremely shy girl in school. I found out she's not really in to me but I had sent her a rose for valentine's today already.

How do I STOP BEING THE WEIRD GUY? how do I BECOME SOMEONE WHO IS ALWAYS WELCOME AND WARM AND ATTRACTIVE? I believe I have all the traits, you know.

Thank you for reading this long long post.

 

[reyalp]

rephrase this question:

How do I become more sociable?

This is basically the root of the problem.

You need to do some self-analysis to figure out WHY you don't hang out with people. If it's easy enough to fix, try to fix it through practice. If you're having extreme difficulty, you might seek some meds for it.

IMO: I'd highly suggest just going to the mall or something and trying to make some friends out of random people.

 

[oneshot]

lol. Yes that's right. Funny I haven't thought of the word 'sociable.'

 

[reyalp]

Dude, if you really are all the things you say you are, you've got high value. You just need to work on the social skills and bring that value into the limelight.

You're taking the right path, by admitting that it's a problem that you want to fix at all costs.

There's a three step process from here:
1) Pinpointing the problem
2) Choosing a remedy
3) Executing your plan of action

You want to ditch that perception of the weird loner, great.
First things first:
You've got to be ready to take whatever steps necessary to ditch that image, and get this part of your life handled.

Second thing:
Don't take my advice as gospel. Other people will comment on this topic, and they may even disagree with me 100%. Review all of the information presented and do a sanity check on it. Then take what you feel is sane and piece together what you want out of it.


Third: YOU, and only you, have the ability to change this situation full circle. Don't you ever forget that.

 

[Dandrufman]

Try doing the boot camp

I just have to wonder, have you done the boot camp (its the link in the banner at the top)? Most of the problems i see on this board are delt with there, and yours is no exception. Just try talking to (or at least greeting) people you know, even vaguely.This should take care of the rep. As for the girl, well, i cant help you there.

 

[jlazz]

Okay bro...here's the deal. Why are you creepy and alone? Ask yourself them...most likely its because you're shy and insecure.

Its all in your head. I used to be like you, but not to such a great extent. I'd talk to people and such, but I would just be there and not be the outgoing kid in the group. I was insecure as well and wouldn't really talk to people I didn't know. Lately, I've realized "WHO THE **** CARES?"..and I've been talking to everyone. If I'm walking around school I say wsup to every1 and start up a random convo. A lot more people know me because of it and I chill with everyone. I get help from the nerds, party with the jocks, and eat lunch w/ my clique.

You will always be that loner if you don't make a change. It may seem hard now, but all you gotta do is start talking to people whenever you get a chance. Don't think about your reputation...don't think aobut how you're viewed. Talk about anything! Don't make it seem weird either..let it come naturally, don't force it.

So tomorrow, I want you to go up to anyone you see and say "wsup" in a louder than normal voice with your shoulders back and head up high. Talk LOUDER! Make sure people hear you when you speak. I used to speak softly because I was insecure. Now I'm loud and don't give a ****.

 

[DJ_Trainee_10]

Lately, I've realized "WHO THE **** CARES?" Now I'm loud and don't give a ****.

Thats almost perfectly said. Just man up and talk to people, people you like and even people you thought you'd never like. Being the loner is bad ass... if you're in the 70's with a leather jacket and a motorcycle smoking a cigarette...

To help you "not give a ****" just look at it this way... You're never going to see 90% maybe even 99% of you're highschool peers after graduation. Just live it up and get to know people. NO one will care about half the things you do or say... no one will even remember what you do or say the following week, unless they are good friends messing around with you.

Just man up.

 

[j8snx1]

I can relate because of the fact that I once was an anti-social kind of person, but here's what I can give unto you:

If you don't like being non-social, then BECOME social! Easier said than done right? It's more easier done than said trust me. This is a good way to get your social skills up, and along the way you might even get girls' phone numbers. Just approach random people in your school, mall, streets, bus stop, etc etc etc. and start up a conversation! But remember, it's more interesting when you focus the conversation on the person you're conversating with (and this is a good tip to keep convos alive with girls too) instead of talking only about yourself the entire time.

So yeah, go out there and become social if you're sick of being anti-social
FIGHT ON:box:

 

[Exo]

I feel ya man

I'm basically in the same boat as you (sort of , I got an Iq in the upper teens and beat the crap out of people when they pick on me but none of your acedemic achievments).

Dont want to sound negative but it really is'nt as easy for us. I been in the neighberhood for nearly a year now and I dont know anybody! Allright so there's two guys having a smoke on the sidewalk. I'm thinking what would be a good idea is to go and ask for a puff and try to strike up a convo?

 

[dannowillbookem]

i was like this freshman year. i would go to the library and sit on the computers during lunch, i just didnt want to be out there with people cause i knew theyd reject me. what a little puss.

howd i move up? hard to say. guess i changed my physical features (lost 15 pounds, cut my hair, got much better clothes) and fought to stretch the little friendship leads i had...a kid named jake who i jammed with once sat at a table at my lunch that was funny, friends i knew from old schools... and got solid friends out of these people so i at least had somewhere to sit. then i worked through the network...at jakes table theres james, ethan, mike, ali, andy, etc... and got friends out of them too. then repeat.

its not that hard, as long as you can basically talk to people (which is something that sounds simple but i had to master it through literally hundreds of hours of thought and practice), have a sense of humor and dont take things too seriously.

 

[Krak]

I'll throw my two cents in;

You say your athletic, so join a sport and make friends with the people on the team. Football, lacrosse, cross country whatever you will have fun playing.

You say you have the best grades in your class so if you see a fellow student struggling, ask them if they need help. Don't make them feel stupid though, just offer some advice and give them positive feedback.

You can try clubs and after school activities as well. You can't be known if you don't put yourself out there. But most of all if you enjoy what your doing and other people see that, more people will be drawn to you.

 

[dannowillbookem]

yeahhhh my advice blew the rest of yalls advice away. but the sports and joining shiit was good, forgot that.

 

[Dimebag_Darrell]

wanna know how to be more liked and all that crap? Start a band.

 

[dannowillbookem]

wanna know how to be more liked and all that crap? Start a band.

god i wanna so bad but no one wants to start one with me i feel like the fat ugly girl who cant get guys. sigh

 

[JayCamx23]

play sports, join clubs, make friends.

 

[DJ_Trainee_10]

Anti-Social? Well you can simply do what Week 1 of the Boot Camp says to do:
(tweaked a little to suit your anti-social situation)
-Make friendly eye contant and smile at people [do the intimate eye contact when you're ready... and you aren't ready now haha.]
-Say Hi/Hello/Hey to 50 people within the week.

This will make you feel a little bit more confident, if not more, and will help ease you in making general convos with people.

If you think about wussing out and not even trying the activity then just listen to the voice in your head that's telling you to DO IT.

Edit: Don't smile like you're smiling for a picture, just smile simply (sp).

Hope I could help,
Trainee_10

 

[LowPlainsDrifter]

I have the best grades in all of ninth grade, I have good athletic abilities and pistol marksmanship

Do you go to school in the US? If not, where? And if so, which state, because it is my understanding that just about any sort of gun-related programs have been totally eliminated from schools here.

 

[PRiSM92289]

i was like this freshman year. i would go to the library and sit on the computers during lunch, i just didnt want to be out there with people cause i knew theyd reject me. what a little puss.

howd i move up? hard to say. guess i changed my physical features (lost 15 pounds, cut my hair, got much better clothes) and fought to stretch the little friendship leads i had...a kid named jake who i jammed with once sat at a table at my lunch that was funny, friends i knew from old schools... and got solid friends out of these people so i at least had somewhere to sit. then i worked through the network...at jakes table theres james, ethan, mike, ali, andy, etc... and got friends out of them too. then repeat.

its not that hard, as long as you can basically talk to people (which is something that sounds simple but i had to master it through literally hundreds of hours of thought and practice), have a sense of humor and dont take things too seriously.

ha mang your story and my story are the EXACT same

 

[B-Lemond]

I hang around alone every lunch. Walking around. Sipping a drink. I might go work out in the gym and then come back down. Just routine.
Physically, I am pretty strong compared to the rest of the guys. I have bad skin and an acne problem thats getting better (but leaving scars).
Now- my brain. I have the best grades in all of ninth grade, I have good athletic abilities and pistol marksmanship, musical and artistic skills thats earned me three Fine Arts Awards in a row, etc etc etc. I actually DO have a sense of humor (just watch them laugh for fifteen minutes in one of my project presentations)

So why...I ask why??am I always the loner? The weird dude?
Today, I had this talk with a female friend of mine I've known for ten years and we both agreed that yes, I have the reputation of being weird and alone. I know people who are way smarter than me so don't gimme crap blaming it on me being nerdy or whatever.

Now I'm diggin this extremely shy girl in school. I found out she's not really in to me but I had sent her a rose for valentine's today already.

How do I STOP BEING THE WEIRD GUY? how do I BECOME SOMEONE WHO IS ALWAYS WELCOME AND WARM AND ATTRACTIVE? I believe I have all the traits, you know.

Thank you for reading this long long post.

How to I improve myself WITHOUT reading the DJ Bible: Useless Thread #3