I could post a few examples, but if you search my threads they are all there. Suffice it to say....if the relationship is making you unhappy, worried or causing you sleepless nights. Get OUT. The first beg red flag I shouldn't have ignored was she flat out told me one time, out of the blue "I always get my way. I always win". That in addition to noticing she was a chronic liar.
Then, after I broke up with her the first time, we were "friendly" and I kept her on FB. She used that trust and friendliness to get 2 of her GF, get all dressed up and hit the bars, then all 3 of them took selfies and flooded their FB pages with them "Out looking for men" etc.
Seriously this is out of a 44 year old woman. I promptly deleted her friends "our" friends,from FB...............two weeks later she tried to re-kindle and like a fool I bit the bait. We set plans up for the weekend and she didn't show. Later denied agreeing to the plans, so I pulled the pin for good and deleted her from FB too. I was done. Then she had the balls to
text ME and say "I see you deleted me from FB, real mature. A heated text exchange followed and it was done.
If I had it to do again, I simply wouldn't have responded. It would have been interesting to see her hamster go into high gear.
This is important: I realized afterwards, that the reason she didn't want me to delete her from FB, is it removed the main means she would have to continue to hurt me and manipulate me. Best advice? If you want to hurt them - IGNORE THEM. Drives them insane. Well, more insane.
Please recognize that the below behaviors apply to both male and female.)
Low stress tolerance with explosive behavior.
- Moody – switches from nice guy/gal to anger without much provocation.
- Survive on threats and intimidation to keep others chained to them.
- They do not take responsibility for their behavior.
- They have to be right. They have to win. They have to look good.
- Very slow to forgive others. They hang on to resentment.
- Unable to sustain a totally faithful relationship with love partner.
- Tendency to project their own shortcomings onto the world about them – frequent blaming. Never at fault.
- Ready rationalization – rarely at a loss for words – twists conversation to divorce themselves from responsibility.
- Glimpses of integrity and emotion are seen – but short-lived. They give you hope that they are changing, but return soon to deviant behavior.
- In a trust relationship, inevitably betray and violate their commitments and get blocked emotionally when they get too close to those they say they love.
- They have no concept of open sharing of ideas, feelings, emotions. Conversation goes per their direction. They have the last word always.
- Can show tenderness of feeling, then return to customary behaviors. Two (or more) vastly different sides to their personality are seen.
- They never seem to get enough of what they want. They leave others feeling drained and confused.
- Highly contradictory. He loves me, he hates me. They threaten their partner with poverty, then indulge their partner or the relationship.
- You end up feeling responsible for the problem. They get to your feelings. No matter what -- they win, you lose.
- Attitude of “I’ll meet your needs if you meet mine. If you don’t, I’ll find someone else who will or I will not meet yours.”
- They are so skilled at making a mountain out of a molehill, and you become so tired of the conflict. It drains all of your energy, love and hope.