The common case of calling and her not picking up !!

[Kayyyd]

Well, my first post on these forums. I joined a few days back and have been mostly reading the various threads so far. I have to say that there is some gold out here!! There are so many things that me, as an AFC, need to change. Well, there're always things that are new to you and you take your time to understand it and implement it. That's exactly what I am going to do from now onwards.

Alright, here's what happened. I got a number of this Indian chick on OKC (within the first few messages). I won't deny, beers played a fair share in me jumping the gun in asking it soon. But I felt that we had built enough rapport, so just went with it.

2 days after, I sent her a message, just so that she has my number when I finally decide to give her a call. In my last message on OKC, I asked her what would be good time to call her. She said her semester is starting on Monday so she will be a little busy on Sun/Mon/tue. Wednesday(after 4?). I said alright and that I need your full attention and no distractions(so cheesy)

So I give her a call today around 5 to ask her for drinks and maybe dinner and it goes to her voicemail. I wait another 30 and gave her another call, and it kind off goes to voicemail after just a couple of rings. I decided not to call her after that and wait for her to initiate contact.

Did I play it right? Somehow I feel I should've left just a 'hi, I'll call later' on the second call. Dang!

~kD~

 

[pdx1138]

you're doing fine. Good of you to get her number after the first few msgs. Thats how to do it.

don't leave messages.

don't call again. let her call or text you.

send her a text in two weeks if she doesn't contact you.
if she doesn't respond, move on to the next....

 

[f283000]

I asked her what would be good time to call her.

You're giving her WAYYYY too much value. Be a man and just call her! What next? are you going to ask her when you can go to the bathroom? As a man when you want something you go out there and TAKE IT!

Women don't like men that ask for permission they like masculine men that take what they want.

So I give her a call today around 5 to ask her for drinks and maybe dinner and it goes to her voicemail. I wait another 30 and gave her another call, and it kind off goes to voicemail after just a couple of rings.

I like the fact that you called her. I personally don't like to leave any detailed voice mails. Ill say "hey it's me ____ whats up give me a call back."

After you give them a call the action is on them. You do not call her back like a guy that has no other options and is showing too much interest (which you did).

What you do is concentrate on your life. Go work out, play basketball, do your homework, preferably talk to other women (spin plates) BUT LIVE YOUR LIFE but don't worry about this chick. You don't sit around waiting half an hour for her call only to call her back again. Now you made yourself look creepy.

I don't like the looks of this one I'd venture to say it's time to NEXT her.

 

[nismo-4]

You're giving her WAYYYY too much value. Be a man and just call her! What next? are you going to ask her when you can go to the bathroom? As a man when you want something you go out there and TAKE IT!

Women don't like men that ask for permission they like masculine men that take what they want.

The court orders you to read this again! And read my sig!

Stop putting the ball in her court! Take control! Wear the pants!

If the woman refuses, just go to the next one! But don't repress your urges!

Case closed.

 

[Kayyyd]

Looks like I lost this one way before it even started. Now I understand that asking when she'd be 'free' to take my call was a total AFC move. But just to get some clarity, after the # close, was it right to text her first and then call after a few days or should I have just called her after say 2-3 days after # close. Basically texting before calling (not right before but otherwise), it is a bad move?

Judge nismo..convict pleads guilty.. NEXT!

 

[LuisGarcia10]

The mistake here isn't how many times you called her, or what message you didn't leave, or how long you waited to call her etc etc. It's the fact that you care THIS MUCH about a girl you have NEVER EVEN MET!!! Ask yourself, honestly, do you think that your focus is reciprocated by her? No, if she's hot the chances are loads of men have her number! You shouldn't need to have a few beers to ask a girl on ok Cupid for a number FFS, I mean if she says no, who cares?! There's millions of women on that website.

Seriously, get a life, I know I sound harsh but if youre placing this much importance on a girl you've never met, I dread to think what will happen if you do eventually get a date.

My advice, get some hobbies etc, focus on them, and I guarantee you won't be sat around counting down the time to when it's socially acceptable to call her.

What i do on sites like that is after 1 or 2 messages I just say, here's my number, text me, it's easier. People may say I'm not being alpha enough or whatever by putting the ball in her court but it usually works, to each their own I guess.

 

[spinaroonie]

In my experience with college girls, it takes some steady text correspondence to get her comfortable enough to even answer the phone. An impromptu phone call from a "random" guy is "creepy" to her and she won't pick up.

I like the "text to call" strategy. After exchanging a few texts and building momentum, you cut the interaction with something like "hold on." Then call her right away - you know she has her phone in her hand, she's forced to pick up. Chat with her for 10-15 minutes and set up the meet. At this point she knows your voice, you've moved from "random guy" to "normal interesting guy" and she feels comfortable enough to meet you alone.

 

[Kayyyd]

The mistake here isn't how many times you called her, or what message you didn't leave, or how long you waited to call her etc etc. It's the fact that you care THIS MUCH about a girl you have NEVER EVEN MET!!! Ask yourself, honestly, do you think that your focus is reciprocated by her? No, if she's hot the chances are loads of men have her number! You shouldn't need to have a few beers to ask a girl on ok Cupid for a number FFS, I mean if she says no, who cares?! There's millions of women on that website.

For sure I was attaching way too much value. :woo: Anyways, as it happens, checked her off the list already (deleted number blah blah) ! Haha, there's so many out there, why even worry about someone whom I haven't even met/talked to.

Seriously, get a life, I know I sound harsh but if youre placing this much importance on a girl you've never met, I dread to think what will happen if you do eventually get a date.

My advice, get some hobbies etc, focus on them, and I guarantee you won't be sat around counting down the time to when it's socially acceptable to call her.

Haha..when I said I waited around 30 min to give her a call again, I wasn't really having a countdown and waiting for it to hit 0. I was in fact doing other things and roughly waited around half an hour to give another buzz.
But still, very genuine advice. I have been off my workout schedule due to job and all and need to shed off those extra 0.20*(me) that I've been carrying around with myself. Spring break babayy...!

And yeah,...thanks everyone for their two cents on this. I was just worrying way too much !

NEXt..

 

[st_99]

Did I play it right?
~kD~

Being that its an online hook up thing. there really isn't anything to go on. There is nothing to play right or wrong since you never even met eachother, its all just fantasy still.

So, nothing to see here. Just game girls in person and treat the online thing as a hobby for when you're bored instead of playing solitare or minesweeper.

and what LuisGarcia10 said is true.

 

[Kayyyd]

Well, my questions was more around calling vs text game and not leaving a voice mail vs otherwise and not caring about her after she didn't pick up the second time. I did get some good answers. Looks like what I did was right, except for the fact that I started low on value in the first place. Well, there's always ENOUGH room for improvment..

And I agree, online should be treated just as a supplement and not a staple diet.