Ok cool, not sure if you guys remember I asked for help regarding t his online girl. Anyway I got her no., asked her out nxt weekend and well, she seems pretty happy to. So, I intend to make it a drink-date, sit down, see each other, talk, listen then I leave first.Probably would last like...15, 20min? So, any tips on how to NOT behave desperate or stalker-like which I often portray. And should I pay etc.?
The Coffee Date
- Thread starter Diaoz
- Start date
k, so I said "ok since that sounds good to you" since I'm rather tired this couple of wks, so she replied with "You mean it doesn't to you? Anyway, we'll see how, this couple of wk is filled with exams".
wtf is this? She obviously wants to go(from multiple signs and previous enthusiastic response) and then she doesn't, then she wants, then.......
wtf is this? She obviously wants to go(from multiple signs and previous enthusiastic response) and then she doesn't, then she wants, then.......
k, I kindda backed off for the time being...sounds kindda bad but I dunno...I'm just really tired to think of what to say and there's obviously no one to offer suggestions...she sounded rather cold after I said "we'll see 'bout that" after she suggested wks later. Anyway, pls feel free to post whatever suggestions, advice etc. I'd probably ask her out when I'm free, maybe just for the sake of showing she made a wrong move.l8r
Turn her down. Tell her that you don't like online chatting because it doesn't measure up to real conversation (after all 50% of conversation is tone of voice/body language and all that).
Maybe it's just me, but any girl who's not going to make the effort and be adventurous enough to meet up with me in a safe public place doesn't interest me.
Never chat with a girl you met online through IM. Swap 2-4 e-mails with some basic questions about interests, send some more photos back and forth, etc then ask for the number. Basically it should be the equivalent of meeting a girl in a bar, having a short chat and getting her digits.
I use this and it weeds out about 50% of the interesting girls I meet on my dating site. But these girls are mostly flakes who would just have wasted my time. Forget this girl and look up others.
PlayerSupreme
Banned
Dude chill. You need to put this shyt in perspective. It's not that serious. With but a flip of a switch in your mental program you could change up and act like a smooth player.
You posted several times in a row. No wonder you come accross as desperate.
You need to stop focusing on YOU;
Over coffee focus on HER. Use your active listening skills that I'm sure they talk about in the bible and get into HER life story.
Make the convo 70% her and 30% about you. Give her very few detail but make her talk about her.
This will take the pressure off you. It will help you relax and it will make you seem very interesting in her eyes.
Think of yourself as an ACTOR. Your acting the part of a smooth player. Imagine that your ego is so far above her and that she is beneath you and do the role.
You posted several times in a row. No wonder you come accross as desperate.
You need to stop focusing on YOU;
Over coffee focus on HER. Use your active listening skills that I'm sure they talk about in the bible and get into HER life story.
Make the convo 70% her and 30% about you. Give her very few detail but make her talk about her.
This will take the pressure off you. It will help you relax and it will make you seem very interesting in her eyes.
Think of yourself as an ACTOR. Your acting the part of a smooth player. Imagine that your ego is so far above her and that she is beneath you and do the role.
alboh: Yeah, thing being that she wants and probably will meet me, just gotta pass those tests of hers. Anyway, I'm happy that at least she's cautious, I don't want a ***** 
And I'm keeping it short because I want to keep her wanting more and I think within 20or mins, I'd be able to blow her off.
Player: I posted in consecutive because I was talking to her then, anyway yeah, I know 'bout listening etc. And that's one reason I want to ask her out cause she doesn't really say that much for me to "listen"(read) when we talk online. Point being i need to get her out.
Anyway, I think I backed off rather badly, any solution/advice to make a comeback? I actually thought of a brillant excuse to make her come out on Sat. There's some kind of event she's 95% interested in. I plan to call her on Fri, asked how the doc went and then ask? good?
And I'm keeping it short because I want to keep her wanting more and I think within 20or mins, I'd be able to blow her off.Player: I posted in consecutive because I was talking to her then, anyway yeah, I know 'bout listening etc. And that's one reason I want to ask her out cause she doesn't really say that much for me to "listen"(read) when we talk online. Point being i need to get her out.
Anyway, I think I backed off rather badly, any solution/advice to make a comeback? I actually thought of a brillant excuse to make her come out on Sat. There's some kind of event she's 95% interested in. I plan to call her on Fri, asked how the doc went and then ask? good?
Ok, you need to meet her in the real life or drop her.
Do not talk to her about anything other meeting in real life. Choose a time and place of when yon wanna meet her. It should be short, it should be safe for her, it should be casual, it should be convenient for both of you.
Next time you see her, tell her that you're not looking for internet relationships, but for real ones. Ask if she's ok with meeting real people in person.
She'll say yeah.
Say that you want to get to know her in person, suggest time and place. Set your limits: timeframe, any clothing she should wear, something she should bring etc
Shut up and listen. If she seems shaky, do not try to convince her for too long. Cut your losses.
THAT'S IT. ONE CHAT AND YOU KNOW IF SHE'S NEXTED OR NOT.
Questions?
Do not talk to her about anything other meeting in real life. Choose a time and place of when yon wanna meet her. It should be short, it should be safe for her, it should be casual, it should be convenient for both of you.
Next time you see her, tell her that you're not looking for internet relationships, but for real ones. Ask if she's ok with meeting real people in person.
She'll say yeah.
Say that you want to get to know her in person, suggest time and place. Set your limits: timeframe, any clothing she should wear, something she should bring etc
Shut up and listen. If she seems shaky, do not try to convince her for too long. Cut your losses.
THAT'S IT. ONE CHAT AND YOU KNOW IF SHE'S NEXTED OR NOT.
Questions?