The classic "She has a boyfriend" debate...

[squirrels]

OK, long situation short:

-I've been thinking about this girl all week. Wasn't even into her at first but we seem to have gotten on real well at this party Saturday.

-I think there was some mutual interest...she was hanging around me, asking questions, etc...

-She has a boyfriend. It's a weird relationship...she gives him all kinds of **** (bought a CAR for him ) and he still cheats on her.

Now I can see where she's got something invested in that relationship, even though they're not married, but should I just "pass" on her? She's pretty attractive, moreso than most girls that I run into these days. I've been thinking about getting her in bed for the last two days. And it's rare to find a girl who isn't full of drama and BS and you can just chill with.

Do I "pass" on this girl because she has a boyfriend? Or should I tell her I want to get to know her better, despite the fact that she's in a relationship?

Should I worry about this guy finding out and going psycho on me? Or is that just a consequence of dealing with women these days? (All the good ones are taken)

 

[GaryNas]

It sounds like she has low self esteem. She thinks so low of herself that she doesn't imagine any guy would ever be interested in her, hence why she bought this guy a car.

Talk with her. Maybe even get her to confide in you about her relationship... gain her trust. I know this works because some douche did this to my girlfriend a few years back and we ended up breaking up.

As for the guy, if he's dumb enough to think that you're ruining his relationship then you should be able to out-smart him. If you're super worried about him fighting you, join karate. It does wonders for your self esteem when you realize that you can take down most other guys in a few seconds.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by GaryNas
It sounds like she has low self esteem. She thinks so low of herself that she doesn't imagine any guy would ever be interested in her, hence why she bought this guy a car.

Talking with her. Maybe even get her to confide in you about her relationship... gain her trust. I know this works because some douche did this to my girlfriend a few years back and we ended up breaking up.

As for the guy, if he's dumb enough to think that you're ruining his relationship then you should be able to out-smart him. If you're super worried about him fighting you, join karate. It does wonders for your self esteem when you realize that you can take down most other guys in a few seconds.

I'm not worried about being able to kick his ass. But even martial arts don't hold up well against guns or knives or baseball bats...or stop people from messing with your house or car...or bringing 20 of their "boyz" after you. I don't know the guy, but that's part of what concerns me.

I'm not doing the whole "confide" crap. That's gay...I'm not her "shoulder." I'm the alternative to what she's in now. She may be happy there. She's probably got some psycho-emotional issues anyway.

Remember, this is about dealing with a woman who doesn't generate a lot of drama. What I'm wondering is whether the drama I'd incur from TRYING to seduce her would outweigh that.

 

[DankNuggs]

Originally posted by squirrels

it's rare to find a girl who isn't full of drama and BS and you can just chill with.


It's a weird relationship...she gives him all kinds of **** (bought a CAR for him ) and he still cheats on her.

Hmmmmmm......I doubt i'd push it, however being friends at this stage can't hurt you...She seems to have emotional problems (i know girls like this, and they were messed up big time (eating disorders, low SE..etc....)

Don't be a shoulder, just get closer and see if she keeps a poker face or shows some cards.....

 

[ToP DoN]

let me know

if shes a moaner or screamer? hopes that answers ur question

 

[Chemistry]

You know what...

I bet HE wouldn't even care...

Given the little you know... the 'thought' of mutual interest, you do have a lot of ground to manouevre upon and you can use this to your advantage to sneak right in there and 'sweep her off of her feet' and out of that relationship, so subtly...

Be around her and play the value card... run with the things that make you THAT good and then communicate that interest once you have sewn the victory up by plantin those seeds...

Green light...

 

[Pimp-sicle]

I wouldn't pursue it unless she's doing all the work. If she's showing you all the buying signals, then go for it. Otherwise its just not going to be worth it. I'd definitely keep her on the back burner and go meet new girls though.



PIMP

 

[squirrels]

Don't get me wrong...this is no one-itis. She just intrigues me. Can't even really say why...guess I just wanna f**k her. LOL

 

[uniassign]

What I'm wondering is whether the drama I'd incur from TRYING to seduce her would outweigh that.

No one can tell. Sometimes you can steal someone's girl in two seconds no drama. Sometimes it might take 6 months with lots of emotions attached. It all depends if she wants to be stolen or not.

How much drama will depend on how much emotions you put into the ordeal. If you have feelings for this girl, obviously the drama will be more if you are merely stealing her for sport.

Also no one can tell if this chick is "good" for you or not. What you see her now is not how she will be in a relationship. This is because right now, you only see her in the perspective of wanting to f&*k her. This means that you will backward rationalise all her "faults" to be "cute". But after you have had the satisfaction of f&*king her, her "faults" might be annoying and you will be wondering if stealing her was worth all the trouble. As the saying goes, show me the hottest chick and I will show you a guy that is tired of f&*king her. I guess this is all human nature ...

Remember, if you can cold approach well, hot chicks are everywhere and all chicks are replaceable.

I would recommend you chase her, just to improve on your skillset.

 

[myfriendblu]

The question, my squirrley friend, is not wether or not you should mess with a chik with a BF. Your DJ instincts are telling you, no, SCREAMING at you, that its not worth all the drama/hassle/BS. No the question here is, why are you even considering it? Why don't you have other women, Back up women. Chiks on the backurner. Numbers. Girls your trying to bed right now. If you did, and I, on the very nature of this question suspect you don't, you wouldn't even be giving this any contemplation whatsoever.

Done deal, you know what to do.

Theres nothing like your boy blu here to give you a good smack of reality and, harsh at times, honesty, in the face

Matt casanova posted something that I won't ever forget about scoring with chiks : You don't have to settle for anything less than what you want. If its not at least a halfway decent situation, you don't have to settle for it. You can do better.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by myfriendblu
Matt casanova posted something that I won't ever forget about scoring with chiks : You don't have to settle for anything less than what you want. If its not at least a halfway decent situation, you don't have to settle for it. You can do better.

That's why I'm in this mess in the first place. Right now there are two other women I could call who both would probably come up here tonight and f**k me. I really don't feel like talking to either one of them. There's a girl I'm supposed to be seeing Saturday who I'm kinda into, and then there's this girl. Those are the ones that interest me, the young, fun ones that I can ALSO hold a conversation with.

It's a specific kind of girl I've come to consider "halfway decent." And that's hard to find at my age. LOL

 

[ScrewIt]

one word:

rich spoiled girl.

well 3

she's definitely gotta be loaded if she can spend several K for someone's car

 

[Dee-Zy]

Originally posted by uniassign
As the saying goes, show me the hottest chick and I will show you a guy that is tired of f&*king her.

GOLD - I need to keep this in mind!!!

 

[Dee-Zy]

Originally posted by myfriendblu
You don't have to settle for anything less than what you want. If its not at least a halfway decent situation, you don't have to settle for it. You can do better.

GOLD!!!



PS: I'm gonna second Top Don on your question.

 

[CLOONEY]

There are PLENTY of single woman who ARE worth time and effort!! They are NOT ALL taken.

That being said, her boyfriend cheats on her so fukc him, go for her.

Should you be worried about the boyfriend going crazy, only you can answer that.

 

[Walldorf]

Hi squirrels,

What I could read from your information, it will be very hard to "score" her (any moral issues aside).
I might be off, but woman who stay in a somewhat abusive relationship (my guess is that she wants to be exclusive with her BF...) are usually to avoid, meaning low self esteem and little self respect.
But since you maybe in just for the score, here is another aspect.
Especially that you said, you were not into her from the beginning seemed like a warning to me. Because these kind of women know exactly how to make man fall for them. It seems like you have a very good connection with them, but they just have the ability to make you feel that way, the connection is in reality very shallow.
What I know from your postings you usually show respect to people (not in a pushover way), and these kind of woman love to have people in their live respecting them. Although it may seem that she likes you really a lot, in fact she might have 5 or more other guys who feel the same, but to her it is not special...they are mainly just "spare pr!cks"...just try to be aware of this when dealing with her
For the fact that she has a boyfriend I would not care, since he cheats on her, so everything now is a fair game...

Good luck

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

You said you are trying to avoid girls with all that drama and BS.

"And it's rare to find a girl who isn't full of drama and BS and you can just chill with. "


Well, from reading this post, you have stepped right into some complicated drama.

You obviously have some feelings for this girl other then "I JUST WANNA BANG HER" because you are ranting and raving and asking advice.


My opinion is, keep to your own word. Listen to your own advice. If you don't want to deal with nothing but Drama and BS, I'd walk away now. Because it's obvious it's only going to get more dramatic as time goes on.

 

[NewMan]

I agree.

Less drama less BS. Move on - there are better situations out there.

It's probably the challenge you enjoy more than this girl anyways.