The Chinese Girl I met

[Ladiesssman]

I went out with this girl. I thought the arrangement was just me and her to get to know each other. All the conversation was pointing between me and her. When she arrive to my place, her cousin tag along. She could have told me. When she called me aong her way here, why can't she just tell me she has a female cousin tagging alone. What a damn disrespect.

They hop in my car and i drove them to a restaurant. While we were they were speaking chinese. Her damn causin speaks only chinese, only been her few weeks from china. So I was bored.

I went to dinner with them anyway. Half way through dinner, my friend called. He suggest we're going to go dancing with them. So as soon as the dinner ended, I dropped them to their car, and told them I have to go and they have to go. I'd rather haning with friends than enjoying girls who have no courtesy.

But the question is, why did she bring her damn cousin??? If she did, why didn't she at least let me know, so I know what to expect. What do you think is in her mind? Is it cauz she has no interest in me? Then why join me in the first place.

Has such scenarios ever happened to you guys??? How would you handle it??

 

[DJ Mission]

Missed out on a potential threesome...

 

[Wiesman44]

Happened to me before. She had a b/f, and thats why she did it. If this girl is single, chances are she is just not interested, and that was her way of showing it. She was somewhat shy to begin with, so that probably had something to do with it. She was quite friendly also. But she just brought a random friend along, only to realize later on that she had a b/f......oh well

If there are cultural differences that I dont know about, then I can't help you.

Even if she was shy, if she's interested, she wants a quiet dinner between the both of you. If you really like this girl, i'd ask her out again but specifiy a dinner between both of u and see how she responds

 

[ScrewIt]

if i were you i'd ask her out again.


maybe she felt her cousin could come hangout as she only arrived here recently.

but i think she was just shy/nervous, that by asking her cousin out, it put some pressure off of her of the 1on1 date.

i'm asian myself, and i might have some insight into this... chinese girls are usually shy, the way they meet guys and potential bf's are through friends. The way they meet potential bf's is also through hanging out in groups with friends. The way they 'date' isnt based around the american culture way, lets put it that way.
so what you may consider to be a date, they consider to be hanging out

 

[Ladiesssman]

What a waste of my fun time and money too cauz I paid for them dinners. I can't believe girls are this rude.

Anyways, she later called apologize to me such and such and that she'd make up by taking me to lunch. I got fed up, so I never called her back.

I don't want to because previously, I hungout with her at a club. It was also fukking boring. She was with me, and when I started dancing with her, she turned around to other friend of his. Shyt! I got tired, so I just left for home.

She called apologize the next day and asked if I was mad. I didn't care. I don't know why I went out to dinner with her again.

Oh! this girl is cheap too. When we went out to club, it was all friend thing, she had to ask me for money just to pay for her admission. Then asked me to buy her drinks. I didn't know how to refuse. Pyssy me. And stupid too.

Girls are evil. I'm telling you.

 

[jakethasnake]

Look man. It's her cousin. Her BLOOD. I'm sure she was more concerned about making her feel comfortable (I would feel scared and left out if I were a fresh off the boat Chinese with no English language skills) than some dude who asked for her number on the street and went on a date with (you). You can either try to swallow your fragile, hurt ego and try again, or go find a Chiense bytch without a FOB cousin. Simple. If for some (odd) reason my FOB Korean cousin went on a date with me and my girl, I would definitely speak to my cousin in Korean. If the girl can't tolerate that for one measly date, I'll tell her to fvck off.



Stop being a fvcking crybaby.

 

[ScrewIt]

sorry to break it to u dude, but most chinese girls like to beat around the bush and take things slow. thats the way they are.

if you found an abc (born in the u.s.) then that might be a different story.

 

[MindOverMatter]

Jake bro, I think he has a point. I don't think the issue here is her bringing the cousin, or even speaking to her in another language, etc.

She called him before she headed over, and didn't mention anything about a cousin. If she had said "hey listen, my cousin recently came from china and I don't want to leave her alone, is it cool if she comes with?" That would have been the appropriate way to handle herself. but just saying ok i'm coming over, and then showing up with a cousin without even mentioning her beforehand is rude.

 

[EpsilonArmati]

Chinese girls are pretty immature when it comes to American-style dating, and she probably brought the cousin along because she didn't think it would go anywhere far (i.e. bedroom).

Don't take it personally, but then again, if this happened to you twice, good idea on dropping her; she obviously hasn't wised up. When in Rome, don't bring your damn cousin to a date and speak Chinese.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Her bringing her friend alone 'could' be cultural or to make sure that her parents have an observing eye on her! You shouldn't have paid for their dinners - only if you are one-on-one then pay! And yes, she should have mentioned her friend was coming along - next time have her pay for you and your friend (don't tell her that he is coming)!

 

[ScrewIt]

Originally posted by EpsilonArmati
Chinese girls are pretty immature when it comes to American-style dating, and she probably brought the cousin along because she didn't think it would go anywhere far (i.e. bedroom).

well you could put it that way. different cultures have a different definition on the term 'date'

 

[Ladiesssman]

Puertorican Lover,
Or better yet, she brings her cousin because so that they both get free lunch. Cheap girls.

Mindovermatter. You got my point. When she call to tell me she coming. She could have just told that her cousin is coming. Better yet, she called while she was on the way to my place, could she at least tell me that her cousin is sitting in the car with her and that the cousin will be joining us for dinner.

Freaking inconsiderate ppl.

 

[California Love]

It ain't cultural. She's simply inconsiderate, probably due to bad parenting. It's a good thing you let this one go.

 

[Mr. Delicious]

IF she brought her cousin along there is no way I would have bought them both lunch. I would have thought well i guess she assumes this inst a date so I am going to just buy my own lunch since apparently she is LJBFing me

 

[Skweints]

I agree it was rude of her not to tell you about her cousin coming, but as far as the rest of the situation, normally a date with a girl (specificially Asian) HAS a friend with her. It's the way they do things. (I've got a date with a Japanese girl tonight... and guess what! Her friend is coming along!)

Now, it's a tough situation because of the language barrier, but had her cousin spoke English, and you managed to entertain BOTH of them, you're in there like swim-wear. But like JakeTheSnake's point, of COURSE she's going to talk to her cousin in Chinese. A) She's got to entertain her, right? B) She knows her better than she knows you. C) It's their freaking NATIVE LANGUAGE. It's easier to speak in their native tongue than to try and speak English to you.

Anyways, it seems that your attitude towards the whole situation was your downfall. Getting pissed and blaming on her for being boring? Come on dude. You can't expect the girl to do ALL the work. Besides, isn't of whining about it here, you could've just said "Well, let's just be friends." and found other girls to entertain... uh... I mean... entertain you... apparently...

Oh yeah, btw, it's customery that the MAN pay for the meal and drinks. After all, YOU wanted to take HER out on a date. That's from a parents perspective. So naturally, she's going to do what her parents tell her.

 

[ANIRBAN]

my 2 cents

Guys..there are a few things we gotta have in mind with respect to international dating...

1) It will not turn out 100% as you would expect.

2) Due to the Asian "Fear Factor"..the ladies always carry around Chaparoens to make the date look more casual and not so intimidating. This will also help in covering up her broken English. This tactic is used mostly by insecure ladies who have no prior dating experience or it might be her first time dating in an international level in a foreign country.

3) Some of the ladies just want a free meal and brings her friends along to enjoy it..that is plain and simple "rude"

4) IN the club scene..she was looking after her cousin to make her feel that she cares for her..I mean she did not forget her because she met "You". The only thing in her mind is that how to find boyfriends for her other lady cousins..after that she can be free of the responsibility and then go bang bang with you. Yeah, I agree its cultural.

5) I am staying here in Thailand for over 9 years and have been thru official meetings in Thai language even though I am a expat working here..so u guys can imagine how dumb I must have felt during the meeting. Of course, my manager briefed me in Engish after the meeting ) so why not during an outdoor date !! Yeah its due to language problem and lack of confidence in speaking English.

BUt ur approach is fine..be straight and before a date make a list of "Dont Dos" and sent it to her..to make her aware that she sucks in the dating world. Good Luck folks

 

[jakethasnake]

^ at all of you: Bros, please.


My theory is that (most) white guys that make a habit of dating Asian women, especially non-American/westernized Asians from (or in) Asia, are just guys with weak game. The competition is just a lot less stiff in Asia, because traditional Asian culture (including the dating culture) is very.... "innocent" (naive?). Basically you're up against AFCs. So how can you live with yourselves if all you're doing to get the women are exploiting your status as a man from a rich country (esp. that moron from Thailand who just posted)?


If you were good with women, you should be able to hang with the best of the best in the Western dating world, where the men are more aggressive and women have higher standards. The Game is that much more intense, so you are honing your skills at a steeper rate... this is why I prefer to not stick exclusively to Asian girls, because it makes you complacent. Esp. as an Asian guy I think Asian girls are EASY to game. For white guys it's not as easy, but still pretty okay.


Thus I think it's lame beyond belief when people who specifically target Asian women think they are good with women. I lump you with the rest of the socially retarded middle aged white men at www.americanwomensuck.com who go to Russia, China, Thailand etc. to find women. You are the bottom quartile. The leftovers. The trash. The scrubs. Can't.... hang.


I'll say it again - I think that white guys who exclusively or mostly target Asian women have limited game. Those who disagree are in a state of deep denial. In addition, if you're having problems scoring with an Asian girl (they have ridiculously LOW standards, which is why you see so many fugly and socially-retarded whiteboys with them) - you might as well go and buy a prostitute for the night, because you are NEVER going to get laid.

 

[jakethasnake]

Originally posted by MindOverMatter
Jake bro, I think he has a point. I don't think the issue here is her bringing the cousin, or even speaking to her in another language, etc.

She called him before she headed over, and didn't mention anything about a cousin. If she had said "hey listen, my cousin recently came from china and I don't want to leave her alone, is it cool if she comes with?" That would have been the appropriate way to handle herself. but just saying ok i'm coming over, and then showing up with a cousin without even mentioning her beforehand is rude.

You were right. I should have read the whole post thru.

 

[jakethasnake]

I'm not talking about white or western women specifically. I'm comparing the dating culture of Asia to America, for example. The dating culture in the West is FAR more advanced than in Asia - you need to always be on top of your game and be aggressive because it's very competitive. In Asia, you're only going up against scrubs.


It could be an American woman of Vietnamese descent, of Eithiopian descent, of Nigerian descent, of Scandinavian descent - they will be MUCH harder to game than some Asian woman from Thailand or China or some wannabe mail order bride from Russia. Understand that these women make it EASY for you to approach/game. And even given that these women might find you physically/mentally appealing, the prospect of marrying a rich westerner (esp. American) is certainly there. So the poorer the country of the woman you are dating, the more wary you should be, and concordantly the more you shoudl realize that your dating has less and less to do with your skill level as a DJ or PUA. That's all.



So remember -


Asian-American women are harder to game than Asian girls from Asia, unless you run into one of those Asian adoptees or some Asian-American girl with horrible self-esteem (i.e. hates being asian, wants to be white). It's true - I speak from experience.

 

[ANIRBAN]

Look before u leap bro !

Dear jakethasnake

Just wanted to clarify the label u gave me a while ago "moron" !

I am not some old white bloke in his 50s looking for Thai chicks in Thailand..I did my Masters here in telecom and working in the UN. So stop generalizing and labelling others. There are a lot of educated people here..and its not appropriate to label someone whom u hardly even know. We are all in the learning curve.