The breakup kitchen fight scene

[glass half full]

This one I'm seeing now, is nothing like her, yet, anyway lol. Still waiting

 

[glass half full]

Update- I ran across this post. lmao...Her and I ended it last week.
A different version of the six month rule. Funny how after the red pill, I don't really care. Its too familiar now, the highs, lows and bs.
Came home to my cat and watched tv w/ my kid.
Got some serious plate action going @ weekend and early this week. This weekend its back to the show.

 

[glass half full]

Sounds narcisisstic, the circular arguments. How did you make it 20 years?!! My sense of logic is too strong for that even though it was painful to leave too.

Tbh, I didn't quite realize it for several years. I thought something was amiss @ first, but she told me it was all in my head. I'm pretty skeptical, but I thought "well, maybe she's right". (I had been getting backstabbed by my friends @ work, and they laughed behind my back about it -in- crowd politics).

And this "All in my head" thing happened occasionally over the years, odd thing was her newer friends seemed to go along. When I questioned this, of course it was denied. And when I started catching on and calling her on it, that's when the claims that I was "Paranoid" around people, that because I didn't get along w/her friends I was "Antisocial".

The real sh!tsorm started after she got pregnant. We had tried twice and miscarried, but ultrasound this time was good. And then it began. She had a plate on the side that was an exec in the company, he was an expert first class Don...not even.kidding. This guy could play the game in front of his prey's parents, friends...they would tell him to stop bet he deflected like a pro! This man felt no shame and did not give one single sh!t.

Anyway, lots of other "it didn't happens" were...happening lol. By now I had become a raging alcoholic. I was escaping into my own little world where I was the Alpha in my mind. I was thinking of escaping, but at this point my daughter was about 7. In my state for me to get custody the kid has to be 11, then they can choose who they grow up with. Had I lived 30 miles west, in the next state I could have divorced her when kid was 4, after she had a wild night and had to get a morning-after pill...and of course, it was an emotional drunk mistake and will never happen again...and this is wen I went from a partier to alky. And after that came another cheat, 2 yrs later@ a party we we together at. At this point I knew she was out of control and a raging drunk sl*t just like her Mom. This time, I set it up so she couldn't lie about it.

Then the stroke, then we paid off bankruptcy, since my insurance was trying to get away w/ not paying my ST disability. I stayed so this would be settled.
She found more friends, from a family that didn't get along w/my parents. They set up some interesting scenarios...this was when she dropped a tv on my head and then walked away. So, the next day I started moving my sh!t. And then her youngest son (donated to life by her first hubs) started an argument and made a mountain from an anthill, and I took my daughter (11yo now!!) and left.

We didn't see each other much, she thought I'd come back after her son went to military. But she got fooled, and @ 1/14 I was a free man!!!

And, Like Ronald Mc-D says, "I'm lovin it!!"

 

[glass half full]

Sounds narcisisstic, the circular arguments. How did you make it 20 years?!! My sense of logic is too strong for that even though it was painful to leave too.

Narcisisstic Sociopath.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Tbh, I didn't quite realize it for several years. I thought something was amiss @ first, but she told me it was all in my head. I'm pretty skeptical, but I thought "well, maybe she's right". (I had been getting backstabbed by my friends @ work, and they laughed behind my back about it -in- crowd politics).

And this "All in my head" thing happened occasionally over the years, odd thing was her newer friends seemed to go along. When I questioned this, of course it was denied. And when I started catching on and calling her on it, that's when the claims that I was "Paranoid" around people, that because I didn't get along w/her friends I was "Antisocial".

The real sh!tsorm started after she got pregnant. We had tried twice and miscarried, but ultrasound this time was good. And then it began. She had a plate on the side that was an exec in the company, he was an expert first class Don...not even.kidding. This guy could play the game in front of his prey's parents, friends...they would tell him to stop bet he deflected like a pro! This man felt no shame and did not give one single sh!t.

Anyway, lots of other "it didn't happens" were...happening lol. By now I had become a raging alcoholic. I was escaping into my own little world where I was the Alpha in my mind. I was thinking of escaping, but at this point my daughter was about 7. In my state for me to get custody the kid has to be 11, then they can choose who they grow up with. Had I lived 30 miles west, in the next state I could have divorced her when kid was 4, after she had a wild night and had to get a morning-after pill...and of course, it was an emotional drunk mistake and will never happen again...and this is wen I went from a partier to alky. And after that came another cheat, 2 yrs later@ a party we we together at. At this point I knew she was out of control and a raging drunk sl*t just like her Mom. This time, I set it up so she couldn't lie about it.

Then the stroke, then we paid off bankruptcy, since my insurance was trying to get away w/ not paying my ST disability. I stayed so this would be settled.
She found more friends, from a family that didn't get along w/my parents. They set up some interesting scenarios...this was when she dropped a tv on my head and then walked away. So, the next day I started moving my sh!t. And then her youngest son (donated to life by her first hubs) started an argument and made a mountain from an anthill, and I took my daughter (11yo now!!) and left.

We didn't see each other much, she thought I'd come back after her son went to military. But she got fooled, and @ 1/14 I was a free man!!!

And, Like Ronald Mc-D says, "I'm lovin it!!"

How did office politics tie back to your relationship? You had a stroke? Describe some of the other "it didn't happen scenarios"?

 

[glass half full]

How did office politics tie back to your relationship? You had a stroke? Describe some of the other "it didn't happen scenarios"?

Office Politics= We both worked at the same place. I left for a while, for what I saw as a better opportunity. It wasn't.

I came back later, things had really changed.
Had the stroke on mon.am @ work.

One time we were at a co-worker's house, her hubs was acting odd w/me as soon as we got there. The people I mentioned that we hard on me at work, were good friends of theirs. He had plans that night, I could tell. And that Monday am, I heard my boss (his friend) on the phone saying "People have tried to split those two up for years, and it just ain't gonna happen, you should just forget it..." He wasn't the corporate dude, that was another dilemna. Boss was likely on the phone w/him...I was gonna walk in on the convo but the f'n door was locked? And she had to know I was just outside, as that's where I had to print my documents for what she assigned.

One other time @ his house, a party w/ quite a few people. Some friend of his, a guy who was a year ahead of me in school, I walked up on them, they were behind the garage, ex was on her knees, he was undoing the pants. Her friend was behind him, fondling him. I said well, room for me too? Lmao
They just left. Nothing was going on, all in my head. Yep.
I actually don't wanna say anymore for now.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Office Politics= We both worked at the same place. I left for a while, for what I saw as a better opportunity. It wasn't.

I came back later, things had really changed.
Had the stroke on mon.am @ work.

One time we were at a co-worker's house, her hubs was acting odd w/me as soon as we got there. The people I mentioned that we hard on me at work, were good friends of theirs. He had plans that night, I could tell. And that Monday am, I heard my boss (his friend) on the phone saying "People have tried to split those two up for years, and it just ain't gonna happen, you should just forget it..." He wasn't the corporate dude, that was another dilemna. Boss was likely on the phone w/him...I was gonna walk in on the convo but the f'n door was locked? And she had to know I was just outside, as that's where I had to print my documents for what she assigned.

One other time @ his house, a party w/ quite a few people. Some friend of his, a guy who was a year ahead of me in school, I walked up on them, they were behind the garage, ex was on her knees, he was undoing the pants. Her friend was behind him, fondling him. I said well, room for me too? Lmao
They just left. Nothing was going on, all in my head. Yep.
I actually don't wanna say anymore for now.

Do you think the stroke was a
Result of "nothing was going on its all in your head". So the point of all the bull was to divide you and ex?

 

[Reyaj]

I meant to reply on this one sooner. This scene is such a great allegory for the inherent differences between men and women and how they are manifested in relationships.

One of the hardest thing both sexes need to do is understand this about each other. I feel men are ruled more by logic and women are ruled more by emotions. Look at the "buy me flowers" example in this scene for instance... Vince Vaughn references her saying she thinks flowers are a waste of money and thus never thinks to get them for her. Jennifer Aniston replies "every girl likes flowers"

Now as men naturally we are like WTF... she said she doesn't like flowers but now she is saying she wants them. But remember what a woman says and what actually pushes her emotional buttons are two different things.

Just like if you ask a girl what she wants in a guy.. she might answer something like nice, handsome, good family values etc..... yet when she meets plenty of guys with these characteristics she doesn't feel attraction towards them. Later on you see her banging some guy named Snake with 5 tattoos who was just recently released from prison.

 

[Music_czar]

the best part was the Dragon at the end

#322

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I meant to reply on this one sooner. This scene is such a great allegory for the inherent differences between men and women and how they are manifested in relationships.

One of the hardest thing both sexes need to do is understand this about each other. I feel men are ruled more by logic and women are ruled more by emotions. Look at the "buy me flowers" example in this scene for instance... Vince Vaughn references her saying she thinks flowers are a waste of money and thus never thinks to get them for her. Jennifer Aniston replies "every girl likes flowers"

When they discussed that, it was apparent that this was a bridge they had crossed before earlier in their relationship. And Jennifer must've explained her distaste for flowers and Vince was like "fine, no flowers". So he gives up on flowers, and 10 years or how ever many years later she's complaining about why he never buys her flowers...

Now as men naturally we are like WTF... she said she doesn't like flowers but now she is saying she wants them. But remember what a woman says and what actually pushes her emotional buttons are two different things.

Just like if you ask a girl what she wants in a guy.. she might answer something like nice, handsome, good family values etc..... yet when she meets plenty of guys with these characteristics she doesn't feel attraction towards them. Later on you see her banging some guy named Snake with 5 tattoos who was just recently released from prison.

What they "like" vs physical attraction are two different things.

 

[bcude]

Yeah, this has more layers to it. I agree with ShePays general view of this situation. That's how you should handle pretty much any situation with a woman, by seeing her as a child and be amused by her little tantrums while still be responsive to her like a good partner should within a relationship. Which means not turn into a supplicating good boyfriend and agree with everything she says to keep the peace.
Now this is a relationship and within relationships there's some build-up of re-occuring arguments and pet peeves that keep coming up to the surface and infect the atmosphere again and again. The dishes is completely irrelevant here, what she really wants to communicate is that she wants to feel his presence and appreciation, evident by the flowers comment. There's always some underlying unmet need with it comes to arguments with women and not about the actual topic of discussion.

Combined with the fact that women just can't STAND to see their men relax for a moment (that doesn't benefit her in some way) while they themselves have to work. Doesn't matter if would have cleaned the house for 10 hours before she came home, because she didn't see that. Why that's the case is anyone's guess. Maybe because we're providers and performers and it's so ingrained that we always have to do something all the time. Those who have been married say it's neverending work and not a comfortable fantasy land like the blue pill dream have us believe.

Had he done what ShePays suggested here and said: "hi sweetheart" and invited her to join him in the sofa, kissed her on the forehead and worked on her emotions, instead of provoking her by making himself more comfortable, stretching his legs and telling her how exhausted he is, it most probably wouldn't have turned into unnecessary drama and arguments. Logic just can't beat emotions in the short term.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yeah, this has more layers to it. I agree with ShePays general view of this situation. That's how you should handle pretty much any situation with a woman, by seeing her as a child and be amused by her little tantrums while still be responsive to her like a good partner should within a relationship. Which means not turn into a supplicating good boyfriend and agree with everything she says to keep the peace.
Now this is a relationship and within relationships there's some build-up of re-occuring arguments and pet peeves that keep coming up to the surface and infect the atmosphere again and again. The dishes is completely irrelevant here, what she really wants to communicate is that she wants to feel his presence and appreciation, evident by the flowers comment. There's always some underlying unmet need with it comes to arguments with women and not about the actual topic of discussion.

Combined with the fact that women just can't STAND to see their men relax for a moment (that doesn't benefit her in some way) while they themselves have to work. Doesn't matter if would have cleaned the house for 10 hours before she came home, because she didn't see that. Why that's the case is anyone's guess. Maybe because we're providers and performers and it's so ingrained that we always have to do something all the time. Those who have been married say it's neverending work and not a comfortable fantasy land like the blue pill dream have us believe.

Had he done what ShePays suggested here and said: "hi sweetheart" and invited her to join him in the sofa, kissed her on the forehead and worked on her emotions, instead of provoking her by making himself more comfortable, stretching his legs and telling her how exhausted he is, it most probably wouldn't have turned into unnecessary drama and arguments. Logic just can't beat emotions in the short term.

WTF, work like a madman all day and it's offensive to "relax" around them unless it benefits them somehow?

 

[Reyaj]

What they "like" vs physical attraction are two different things.

What they "think" they like.. Their emotions over rule their rational thinking.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

I always says that there's nothing a woman hates more than the sight of a man at rest. Even if you took her to work with you, to show her how hard you work, and that you deserve the rest, she'd only want you to play with her, instead of work; so, it isn't even really about the fact that you're relaxing, but that you're doing something that doesn't include her. You don't have to indulge the impulse, but you don't need to let it disturb your calm, either. Heck, if I go into my study, and lock the door, my wife will knock on the door every 15minutes with a different offering. I suppose it's a little annoying, but it's also pretty cute.

I always thought a man should have a study.
The original man-cave.

 

[dark god]

ah Vince Vaughn. Couples Retreat was his funniest movie. Just rewatched The Internship yesterday.

That couple in this movie clip just didn't have enough values and interests in common. She's picking the fight to break up with him? What's that movie title?

swingers was his funniest movie.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

swingers was his funniest movie.

I will watch the whole movie one day. I googled it and watched an entirely different type of older, subtitled movie back when I commented on this. lol.

 

[bcude]

Yeah swingers was fun, i actually saw this movie because of vince but it isn't worth your time.

SPOILER WARNING:

So the story in the movie is that she broke up with him because she wanted him to change to the better (in her eyes) and come running back.
So she did while still living under the same roof. Then she started to bring him home new hot dates to make him jealous and walk around naked around the house. When nothing seemed to work she tried to rekindle the relationship by inviting him to a concert since she got 1 spare ticket over, he didn't show up eventhough he said he would and then she had a breakdown because he didn't 'get it' and never cared or listened to her. He was like "i'm not a mindreader, why didn't you say you wanted this and that, you broke up with me, remember?", after that he really put in an effort to make it work but her feelings had changed (heard that one before?) and they went seperate ways and sold the apartment.

I don't recall exactly what now but there were some lines that were completely backwards to what a healthy dynamic looks like. He should chase, women are the prize etc.
It highlighted the major problem within relationships that we communicate differently and expect each other to be mindreaders.... and maybe not to cohibitate before marriage!

 

[Alvafe]

I always says that there's nothing a woman hates more than the sight of a man at rest. Even if you took her to work with you, to show her how hard you work, and that you deserve the rest, she'd only want you to play with her, instead of work; so, it isn't even really about the fact that you're relaxing, but that you're doing something that doesn't include her. You don't have to indulge the impulse, but you don't need to let it disturb your calm, either. Heck, if I go into my study, and lock the door, my wife will knock on the door every 15minutes with a different offering. I suppose it's a little annoying, but it's also pretty cute.

rule is alwyas what you can do for her, you relaxing having a hobby don't benefit her so she will nag you to stop, and when you do she is annoyed you are not the same men she get together with.

understand, you need to "get it", with means you consider what benefit you and if she can't deal with it replace her

 

[mrgoodstuff]

rule is alwyas what you can do for her, you relaxing having a hobby don't benefit her so she will nag you to stop, and when you do she is annoyed you are not the same men she get together with.

understand, you need to "get it", with means you consider what benefit you and if she can't deal with it replace her

As long as you are fvcking her most nights, and she is still doing much of the "feminine" duties to show that she's grateful, some of the complaining was always part of the course. That amount of complaining, but her still taking care of her man was the natural balance of things.